Say No To Pride: A Short Poem - Nairaland / General - Nairaland
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| Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Veritas94: 1:11pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Give no space to vain boast, Upon attaining a higher coast, A time failures and woes are left behind, pleasures starting to set in...Hedonism at the door of your heart knocking as you unwind... Sychopancy and praise-singing all at your getting...A false picture of yourself you behold, A pathway to evil days yet foretold... Foreign is bitter truth on the lips of those who want to see you fall,to crash and crumble is my wish for you to forestall... That your end might be bigger than your beginning, the real you all-time revealing... Thanks all... 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by colp2015: 3:06pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Thanks! 1 Like |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Nobody: 7:06pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Veritas94:Poorly arranged. Rearrange it. |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Veritas94: 7:41pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
If you could lend advice on its rearranging... |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Nobody: 7:53pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Veritas94:Okay. First is, Capitalize the first words of each line. Example: ' Give no space to vain boast, Upon attaining a higher coast, A time failures and woes are left behind, pleasures starting to set in...Hedonism at the door of your heart knocking as you unwind...' You see, it is difficult to know if you have a fourth line, fifth, sixth or is it just a continuation of the third line. If it is a continuation of it, then your poem lost rhythm there. Imagine singing a song to a person without rhythm that's how it sounds. If it is not then you shouldn't have capitalized the first three lines in the first place. You should have used small letter to begin them. Do you understand? 1 Like |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Veritas94: 9:50pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Understood very well... Thanks man |
| Re: Say No To Pride: A Short Poem by Nobody: 10:24pm On Nov 02, 2015 |
Veritas94:There are more though. |
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