I met this beautiful lady January this year,We both live in U.S.A.She just started her MSc program and I'm yet to complete my BSc even though i had my BSc in Nigeria.
She's from a wonderful family well mannered,Focused and independent same applies to me.My family Loves her including my mum.
After 6 months into our dating,I decided to do my background check in Nigeria and the problem started.
I was told she's from the Caste Clan. From that moment,my mum's attitude towards her changed each time she comes visiting.
My resolute is never to leave this innocent girl who knows noting about *ancestral whatever*.
Now you may want to know why i have to go check first if i don't believe in tradition,the reason is because my mum forced me into doing it...she's the one who sent my uncle in Nigeria cos my dad is late.
Nevertheless, my Love for the girl hasn't blinked an inch rather it keeps getting stronger by the day.
The truth is that she doesn't know the battle I'm going through in my family.I still bring her home and she's so relaxed whenever she comes but my mum doesn't respond to her greetings the way she used to,Two of my younger sisters are divided.One is opposed to my marrying her and one is strongly behind me marrying her.My elder brother who's married is indecisive while my younger brother is not worried who i marry as long as I'm happy.
I have prayed and asked God for direction,Vision and Courage to make a decision. This is a girl my heart really desire.
My good friends, I really want to decide between my Joy and the Joy of my Mother.
Does the outcast really exist in this 21st century knowing fully well the Bible teaches us Love and Forgiveness of sins.I have made a resolution to be with her in spite of the perception of others, I don't see the reason why i should not go ahead with her.
The problem I personally have with some of the traditional culture is that it was instituted by men and never by God and if under God, there wasn't anything in that light, I have no idea why men will look at others in such a manner.
For the avoidance of doubt,I want to confirm from those in her area and make further consultations to find out more about her and her family so that i will have enough information for anyone who feels that i shouldn't marry someone that i love.
If God could love a miserable offender like me, I have no idea anyone else that is beyond love.
Romans 8vs1 says there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus for the law of the spirit and life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death.
This verse to me remains valid for every form of human rejection or abuse.
My good people i need your best advice.I know the level of isolation and ostracized i will receive if I go ahead and marry her.Is it worth it?Do traditional belive supercede personal believe. Is this tradition still valid?
Can my mum ever agree with me?
My uncle and relations back home are vehemently against me marrying her.
But I've met some Catholic priest who all advice me to go ahead and marry her that they will personally come talk to my mum when i request.
Presently,we all live under one roof and I'm planning to move out and stay on my own.
I just feel the need to share this this you and hear,learn and decide.At the end of the day,he final decision is up to me.

Go ahead and marry her if you love her. That is a very useless tradition that needs to end in your parents' generation. If a 21st century Igbo man believes and supports this nonsense outcast tradition, then thunder go fire am.

In as much as itz a difficult decision, i'll ask u to follow ur heart

Whats the Caste Clan? Never heard of it. A group of witches or something or a certain tribe? Just don't know what that is.

@Smartmugu...It's called Osu Caste System in igboland...The Osu system is “a cultural albatross for the Igbo society,” as it is an impediment to human relationships and social progress (Nwosu, June 19, 1999). The Osu caste system, which the forefathers of the Igbos invented, has become the culture in parts of Igboland....Culled from google.

judith26:
@Smartmugu...It's called Osu Caste System in igboland...The Osu system is “a cultural albatross for the Igbo society,” as it is an impediment to human relationships and social progress (Nwosu, June 19, 1999). The Osu caste system, which the forefathers of the Igbos invented, has become the culture in parts of Igboland....Culled from google.

Wow. Thanks for explaining. So, that means a whole set of people somewhere have been branded unacceptable to others. What about those that were just born in those families and never had anything to do with whatever their forefathers did to be in that group?

I'd think it's wrong at this age, but culture is culture and people have reasons for believing in them.
Thanks again.

My good friends, I really want to decide between my Joy and the Joy of my Mother.

is it your mother that will live with her for the rest of her life or you?

Jez do wat u know will make yu happy.

Bro assuming you have been initiated into any society you would understand more about tradition
thank the gods am an initiate
just do what is right between you and God humans can always be appeals
blessed be

Don't marry for ur family.... Marry for ursef

Lemme advice you..... Go and beg your mum, roll on the floor ,threaten her you ll commit suicide, fake chronic sickness, whatever it takes. Don't 4get she raised you.... My reason being if she hold her boobs swear 4u , u ll know blood is thicker than water, beg for her approval, don't prove stubborn....

U really need to pray & depend on God bro....its nt the girl's fault abt dis cast thingy...mayb u nid to go to a true man of God fr deliverance...... nd try to talk to ur mom about it again.......Goodluck broda

Parents who claim to be xtians/ muslims and indulge in such nonsense need their heads examined. There was this ijebu woman in my street den dat prevented her daughter marryin a yoruba cos he was from ilorin. Fools

tellwisdom:
Does she have big boobbbs?

u need to work on urself, seriously

So this osu tradition is still in existence?
I only read them in igbo novels long ago..

And the worst part is that our old people still hold on to this barbaric tradition as if we're still in the olden days.

Op! Please find a way to involve any one your mum respects who's in support of the marriage and find a way to convince her.
It wouldn't be easy per say but it's not totally impossible.

Once your mum accepts, your siblings have no choice than to fall in line.

In a situation your mum's still adamant, you have to weigh the pros and cons before taking any decision so as to avoid stories that touches the heart.

Human beings and segregation!

It's ridiculous, to be very honest.

OP, we all face challenges in this life. I say go ahead and marry her, but be prepared fro a lot of backlash from your family and village.

I think the real reason why the older ones support the osu system, is not because they really believe that osu are cursed, but because they are internally terrified of going against their society and being alienated. Especially when they've achieved a level of respect, wealth and prestige. They are terrified that they will lose all that if their child marries into a 'lower/inferior' class. It's pathetic!

@Spacyzuma, it's really pathetic.
My mum's elder brother is a devoted Catholic and his stance on this is same stance my mum has.
My mum will definitely go against me.She has told me she didn't start this and wouldn't be the one to stop it.
My relations back home has told me their children won't eat with mine when i come back home to Nigeria. Some say they won't come to my house again.
Now,should i confide in my girl all this backlash?
Are this people that cursed?

tellwisdom:


You are foolish

may God forgive u

Human beings and segregation!
It's ridiculous, to be very honest.
OP, we all face challenges in this life. I say go
ahead and marry her, but be prepared fro a lot
of backlash from your family and village.
I think the real reason why the older ones support the osu system, is not because they
really believe that osu are cursed, but because
they are internally terrified of going against
their society and being alienated. Especially
when they've achieved a level of respect,
wealth and prestige. They are terrified that they will lose all that if their child marries into a
'lower/inferior' class. It's pathetic!