I've not really reached the point of being suicidal because I know my future is bright and the baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. I have been married for close to two years now.

My hubby has not been very healthy for close to a year now, we just leave like roommates, hardly any sexual activity, but it was a blow to my face when I came back from church on Sunday and saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed and when I checked his phone I saw his chat with a girl inviting her to his guest house and denying he is married.

After confronting him, there was no remorse not even an explanation. He is just pretending to be nice (meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less, I care for my pregnancy and buy my babies stuff. Hee sometimes even tells me he is not responsible for my pregnancy)

Please, I need candid advice on what to do. thanks.

Obviously, The man doesn't love you. It seems you're not legally married for him to proudly deny being married to you.

U ar sharing a room wid a man ...... They will advice u more... People below

He's not healthy for close to a year but he has the strength to bang another gal with viagra. Stop pitying him, he doesn't deserve you.

I feel your pain sis!

Confide in any of his "close relatives" whom you are also close to!

The LORD is your strength!

SeverusSnape:
Obviously, The man doesn't love you. It seems you're not legally married for him to proudly deny being married to you.

we got married in a church

kadas01:
I feel your pain sis!
Confide in any of his "close relatives" whom you are also close to!
The LORD is your strength!

thank u

yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.

your current status is probably turning him off. how long gone are you? are you the type that looks clumsy, unkempt and spitting around when pregnant?

coogar:


your current status is probably turning him off. how long gone are you? are you the type that looks clumsy, unkempt and spitting around when pregnant?

God so kind am non of d above I don't spit, vomit or fat just baby bump I ll b due next month by God's grace if not because I don't want d whole world to see my identity n know my problem I wld have posted a pix

yoksy:
thank u

You are welcome!

yoksy:
God so kind am non of d above I don't spit, vomit or fat just baby bump I ll b due next month by God's grace if not because I don't want d whole world to see my identity n know my problem I wld have posted a pix

you don't have to show your identity....

when you confronted him with the evidence, what was his line of defence? what was his excuse? you said the sex sessions have decreased, what caused this? can you remember him complaining about anything prior his infidelity?

Men and their wahala, God pls give me a caring husband

coogar:


you don't have to show your identity....

when you confronted him with the evidence, what was his line of defence? what was his excuse? you said the sex sessions have decreased, what caused this? can you remember him complaining about anything prior his infidelity?

he has a broken leg so he always say he is not strong, I don't know wat caused it maybe it's his nature wch I neva saw we've not stayed 2geda we work in diff state but his condition is d reason he is not at his duty post. when I confronted him he told me notin no apologies but started acting as if he cared by asking me wat was wrong if I had discomfort due to my present state.

niggi4life:
Nothing to be worried about madam except for that statement of his that he's not responsible for the pregnancy.
Men usually get turned off by pregnant women and women who menstruate, once you have delivered safely, am sure he will come back to his senses.
Just carry on your normal life and care less about him. He is just an irresponsible man. Be strong, stay safe and i wish you a happy delivery of your baby

thanks n God bless

Ginaz:
Men and their wahala, God pls give me a caring husband

amen dear take ur tym n choose wisely

yoksy:
he has a broken leg so he always say he is not strong, I don't know wat caused it maybe it's his nature wch I neva saw we've not stayed 2geda we work in diff state but his condition is d reason he is not at his duty post. when I confronted him he told me notin no apologies but started acting as if he cared by asking me wat was wrong if I had discomfort due to my present state.

if everything you have said is true, he has shown he's not responsible!

i suggest you bring him to this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1582623/boys-night-out-discussions

we will teach him how to be a grown man

Focus on your baby for the now

Safe delivery

yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.

Don't ever argue with him. Ask him for regular upkeep, if he refused, look for work and take care of yourself. Don't despair dress well and look delicious. People around him will draw his attentio n to his stupidity. Remain a good wife. Remember don't argue with him. There is no good husband out there.

NewBorn2:

Don't ever argue with him. Ask him for regular upkeep, if he refused, look for work and take care of yourself. Don't despair dress well and look delicious. People around him will draw his attentio n to his stupidity. Remain a good wife. Remember don't argue with him. There is no good husband out there.

Loads of good husbands out there. Ask the woman questions, you will see where she "might" have got it wrong. I can see short courtship and they never got to know each other better.

Ladies, the point is, marry your FRIEND and don't rush into marriage under any disguise be it home, religion, age, money etc. Remember, you will bear the brunt if things turn around for worse..#mythought.

NewBorn2:

Don't ever argue with him. Ask him for regular upkeep, if he refused, look for work and take care of yourself. Don't despair dress well and look delicious. People around him will draw his attentio n to his stupidity. Remain a good wife. Remember don't argue with him. There is no good husband out there.

thanks

coogar:


if everything you have said is true, he has shown he's not responsible!

i suggest you bring him to this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1582623/boys-night-out-discussions

we will teach him how to be a grown man

thanks alot I appreciate

medoyin:



Loads of good husbands out there. Ask the woman questions, you will see where she "might" have got it wrong. I can see short courtship and they never got to know each other better.

Ladies, the point is, marry your FRIEND and don't rush into marriage under any disguise be it home, religion, age, money etc. Remember, you will bear the brunt if things turn around for worse..#mythought.

So, even those who were childhood friends, got married and still divorced. I know what I'm talking about.

Those creature called "men"?? Fear them!

Kick his ass to the curb. He is useless as a husband and will be useless as a father. Not to talk of his infidelity. Mstchewww

yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff HE SOMETIMES EVEN TELL ME HE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY PREGNANCY) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.

He even doubts that "HE IS THE FATHER SOMETIMES"? That statement is pregnant with meaning! Have you done something in the past to warrant hearing this? Asides from that there seems to be a lack of respect, romance, care, infidelity issues and bitterness surrounding your union!

Anyway you need to realise that you are in a 'dysfunctional relationship' which is of no use to you or your unborn child! If "HE is really not the father", I think you should bounce and search for happiness elsewhere!

Lord knows I can't treat my woman anyhow... why should I when I was not forced into marriage..

I must have read d terms & conditions before saying 'I do'

@OP I feel sorry for you... most guys out there have very low IQ.

he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my
pregnancy

The other issues you mentioned are kinda common but the above is a serious accusation.

Why would he say that?

Anyway, be ready to be a single mom 99% of the time.

Hi dear I'm so sorry you are going through this. As someone already asked, are you legally married to him(no judgement). Right now the most important thing is your baby. You need to reduce your stress levels. It's not good for you or baby. Please try to remove all thoughts about his girlfriend from your mind right now. Wait till after you give birth before you hash it out. Focus on trying to get money from him for baby stuff and hospital bills for now. No fighting him for now, you are in no condition. If he doesn't bring the money, do you have family and friends that can help you out?.

Also is your mum or sister available to come and stay with you for a while?. You need someone to lift your spirit right now. It will get better in Jesé name. Just pretend as if he doesn't exist for now.

Ginaz:
Men and their wahala, God pls give me a caring husband

'Men and their wahala',yet you want a husband.Is she going to be female?

NewBorn2:

Don't ever argue with him. Ask him for regular upkeep, if he refused, look for work and take care of yourself. Don't despair dress well and look delicious. People around him will draw his attentio n to his stupidity. Remain a good wife. Remember don't argue with him. There is no good husband out there.

What planet are you from to come to this conclusion?
There are bad husbands but there are good ones.

First off, ignore every persons who be telling you talk to God because, that's their way of not helping but think they helping. No God needed here, this is human behaviour and social psychology.


Human has this tendency to act childish and its called FIXATION in psychology, what this means in essence is before your hubby got married to you, he's been having sex with random girls and your marriage to him isn't an excuse not to continue.

Now, bare this in mind, He doesn't hate you but the love is hidden and shrouded by his fixated habit of extra marital affair. This happens because a man's brain only focuses on only a single task unlike the women's brain which is capable of multitasking. This is the reason, Women are good at keeping multiple partners in secret than men.

Enough of education, How can you remedy this situation at hand?

Run a psychological test on him and see if he still care about you, Since you pregnant, its a lot easier, when he's in the house, just pretend, how ?, break down in pain and ensure you continue in the pretence of excruciating pain till he takes you to the clinic so the doctor would really ascertain you fine and need rest. then when you both get home, make him understand he's the reason you broke down earlier and it was a post traumatic stress he's been putting you through, let him see your tears again at that point in time and watch his reaction and response after then.

Note- He might not quit that fixated habit of extra marital affair but I bet he would up the affection and care he has for you which was hidden.