Found this article that talks about "working mum" children and how they are more successful than their stay at home mum counterparts. I think it is quite interesting.

The guilt many working mothers confess to may be real, but it’s looking less and less warranted.
According to a working paper published June 19 by the Harvard Business School, daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, hold supervisory positions, and earn more money than the daughters of women who don’t work outside the home. The researchers also found a statistically significant effect on the sons of working women, who are likely to spend more time caring for family members and doing household chores than are the sons of stay-at-home mothers.

http://www.gloo.ng/busyhomemaker/busy-homemakers-have-more-successful-daughters-and-more-caring-sons/

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I don't understand this write up oooo

Is the decision not for your wife to make?

Yes o Oshey

Working mothers should become the new norm.

TV01 won't agree.

omoabobade:
Found this article that talks about "working mum" children and how they are more successful than their stay at home mum counterparts. I think it is quite interesting.



http://www.gloo.ng/busyhomemaker/busy-homemakers-have-more-successful-daughters-and-more-caring-sons/

Every aspect of life has its pros. & cons.
Hence, choose/decide wisely bro. All the best !

So the stay-at-home mums' daughters get their education staying at home?

The research no pure.

There is nothing wrong with a Stay at Home Mother. I wanted to be one (because I know I can give my kids more education than they will get in school). However, the truth is that I have rarely seen a full-time Stay at Home Mums in Nigeria: all our women may leave their white-collar jobs to start families but quickly begin to run to start their own businesses. I think your kids are as motivated as you want them to be.

Onegai:
There is nothing wrong with a Stay at Home Mother. I wanted to be one (because I know I can give my kids more education than they will get in school). However, the truth is that I have rarely seen a full-time Stay at Home Mums in Nigeria: all our women may leave their white-collar jobs to start families but quickly begin to run to start their own businesses. I think your kids are as motivated as you want them to be.

For how long do you want to train your kids at home?
With all due respect, I don't think you can give your kids more than a good school.

Mindfulness:


For how long do you want to train your kids at home?
With all due respect, I don't think you can give your kids more than a good school.

Well, from my experience with a parent who was semi-retired when I was a child:

I could quote Shakespeare in iambic pentameter as a child, I knew about the stock exchange, knew a lot of History, read Jane Austen and all the classics including Homer's Iliad and could write formal, informal and all sorts of correspondence (my emails are beautiful till now ) and I wasn't even a teenager at this point. This was all because I had a educated parent with a lifelong thirst for learning who wasn't hampered by having to go to work and not have time for me. Here's the funny thing, I was an average student for all my brilliance because I was a bad test taker and our school system rewards the best test taker and crammer (every open book test i took, i nailed it). And my parent understood his curious and brilliant daughtr better than her teachers. My final year project, I got a supervisor whom even other lecturers were worried about, picked a topic that my defense board felt was too vast for an undergraduate project and nailed it to the point that I got an A, people were referred to my project and I can submit that project to governmental board for urban planning, because it was a practical project. But I had a 2. 2.

No school could give me the education my parent gave me. Or had that much patience. I was given a lifelong thirst for knowledge as a child.

I have a foreign friend who retired at 40 and spends his days with his son, learning. My nephews attend school with N1mil annual fee and can barely talk properly (because neither parent have time to reinforce whatever they learn). My other nephew and niece had a Stay at Home mum who was intelligent and tutored them and got admission into top-notch secondary schools in UK (to the point other mums had to beg her and offer pay for her to tutor their kids).

Everyone has their own opinion on these things.

Onegai:


Well, from my experience with a parent who was semi-retired when I was a child:

I could quote Shakespeare in iambic pentameter as a child, I knew about the stock exchange, knew a lot of History, read Jane Austen and all the classics including Homer's Iliad and could write formal, informal and all sorts of correspondence (my emails are beautiful till now ) and I wasn't even a teenager at this point. This was all because I had a educated parent with a lifelong thirst for learning who wasn't hampered by having to go to work and not have time for me. Here's the funny thing, I was an average student for all my brilliance because I was a bad test taker and our school system rewards the best test taker and crammer (every open book test i took, i nailed it). And my parent understood his curious and brilliant daughtr better than her teachers. My final year project, I got a supervisor whom even other lecturers were worried about, picked a topic that my defense board felt was too vast for an undergraduate project and nailed it to the point that I got an A, people were referred to my project and I can submit that project to governmental board for urban planning, because it was a practical project. But I had a 2. 2.

Did they also teach you math and science? Did you have the opportunity to conduct scientific experiments at home? Did they teach you how to play an instrument? Did they teach you how to paint? My point is that with the education I was blessed with, I still can't teach my children ALL subjects at a high level because I am not an expert on everything. I can neither successfully replace the benefits they will have from interacting with other kids. I can't teach them the social skills they will acquire when they interact with other kids. And they will miss on all the fun they could have when being at school together with their friends.

Therefore, I believe that the best that you can do for kids is to send them to a high quality school, where teachers are well-trained and know that some kids are highly intelligent but not good test takers and are able to react to each child individually and complement the school training with home training.

I have a nephew who who loves school. He will tell you that school is fun and how nice his teachers are. In fact, you can threaten him with if you don't behave, you won't go to school tomorrow.

No school could give me the education my parent gave me. Or had that much patience. I was given a lifelong thirst for knowledge as a child.

This is unfortunate. I have a different experience. I loved the school I went to. It shaped my personality immensely in a very positive way.

I have a foreign friend who retired at 40 and spends his days with his son, learning. My nephews attend school with N1mil annual fee and can barely talk properly (because neither parent have time to reinforce whatever they learn). My other nephew and niece had a Stay at Home mum who was intelligent and tutored them and got admission into top-notch secondary schools in UK (to the point other mums had to beg her and offer pay for her to tutor their kids).

You need to choose the right school.

Everyone has their own opinion on these things.

I respect yours.

Mindfulness:


Did they also teach you math and science? Did you have the opportunity to conduct scientific experiments at home? Did they teach you how to play an instrument? Did they teach you how to paint? My point is that with the education I was blessed with, I still can't teach my children ALL subjects at a high level because I am not an expert on everything. I can neither successfully replace the benefits they will have from interacting with other kids. I can't teach them the social skills they will acquire when they interact with other kids. And they will miss on all the fun they could have when being at school together with their friends.

errmm I am a watercolourist-pastel painter artist who has done an exhibition, play piano and violin. As well as had an undergraduate degree in Engineering and one of the best scores in Literature. With multiple hobbies such as hiking, skiing, adventuring, travel and at some point inwas able to pick up the basics of French, Japanese and Korean (I've lost them sha). Didn't learn any of that in school. All my best experiments were done at home.

I'm yet to seen a. school in Nigeria that matches their school fees millions being paid. Museums and observatories are free to explore, please what textbook will catch up, which teacher (half of them here are teaching because of unemployment, the other half are teaching because their husband's want them to have a job that closes on time).

(omo reading that description please of me, I sound awesome! Why did I even get married sef to Baby E's father, I should have sold myself to the highest bidder!!! )

Kids will pick up social skills.

There is a limit to the parents knowledge so there is a limit to what they can impart into the child, The teachers have up to date materials they use which parents dont

There is a teacher/student relationship which is formal unlike the mother child where the child is yelling for cereal while being taught

There is more than goes into education that even the Maths English science etc. there is the human relationship part, they make friends, they make enemies, they play together, they share, they bully people, they get bullied and become social beings

You cant learn these at home

I would say AYE to working women

Onegai:


errmm I am a watercolourist-pastel painter artist who has done an exhibition, play piano and violin. As well as had an undergraduate degree in Engineering and one of the best scores in Literature. With multiple hobbies such as hiking, skiing, adventuring, travel and at some point inwas able to pick up the basics of French, Japanese and Korean (I've lost them sha). Didn't learn any of that in school.

Your parents did a great job. Respect! I dare say, however, that majority of parents can't do it. I am not all against home schooling. Many people around the world do it and are successful at it but from my experience, I loved school.

omo reading that description please of me, I sound awesome! Why did I even get married sef to Baby E's father, I should have sold myself to the highest bidder!!!

You are awesome.

The rest cracked me up.
Maybe it would have happened to me too if I didn't do psychology at school.


I like you.

Mindfulness:


Your parents did a great job. Respect! I dare say, however, that majority of parents can't do it. I am not all against home schooling. Many people around the world do it and are successful at it but from my experience, I loved school.



You are awesome.

The rest cracked me up.
Maybe it would have happened to me too if I didn't do psychology at school.


I like you.

I like you too!

But honestly, a formal education fits most people but isn't for everyone. I had a horrid time at school (kids bullied me for quoting Shakespeare in JS1 and called me weird, guys thought it was weird I was smart and used to tell me to "be quiet or you won't get married on time" and I rarely understood what teachers wanted, but would get it once I got home). I'm not planning on home-schooling my kids, I just want to be able to show them how sound waves work or explain certain scientific processes practically. And I need time to do that. And that time is what a parent should give their kids.

No-one in Nigeria has that time anymore. By the time you finish hustling, entering traffic and switching off your gen, you just want to shut your child up. My issue with the study cited is that yeah, working mums produce daughters who get to supervisory levels but so do SAHMs. It depends on the parent.

Onegai:


I like you too!

But honestly, a formal education fits most people but isn't for everyone. I had a horrid time at school (kids bullied me for quoting Shakespeare in JS1 and called me weird, guys thought it was weird I was smart and used to tell me to "be quiet or you won't get married on time" and I rarely understood what teachers wanted, but would get it once I got home). I'm not planning on home-schooling my kids, I just want to be able to show them how sound waves work or explain certain scientific processes practically. And I need time to do that. And that time is what a parent should give their kids.

No-one in Nigeria has that time anymore. By the time you finish hustling, entering traffic and switching off your gen, you just want to shut your child up. My issue with the study cited is that yeah, working mums produce daughters who get to supervisory levels but so do SAHMs. It depends on the parent.

I think we both largely agree. The problem is that most mothers who stay at home are those who are not very well-educated and therefore can't offer their kids what you or some good schools can. The mothers who are well-educated often love their profession and want to work sooner or later.

There are different solutions to this problem. First of all, we need extremely well-trained teachers and high-quality schools and career women must be offered some flexibility to be able to reconcile their careers with the responsibilities at home. And fathers must get more involved too.

There is no accounting for taste, as such, I respect ladies' choice in this regard.

However, I must say that I've never been able to mentally digest how a woman can spend years, or even her entire married life stayiing at home. It simply leaves me wondering:

How do they get to do sufficient mental exercises? Don't they get nauseous from watching too much TV when hubby and children are out of the house? Would they feel satisfied if their young daughters who they're trying to give an education, told them they would never work after marriage? Didn't they have dreams outside marriage and parenting before getting married? Can't they at least get a part-time job or something, if they feel 8 – 5/6 is too long a time to spend outside the home?

Respect to all stay at home mums, but I still don't get the rationale behind it.

Gaborone:
There is no accounting for taste, as such, I respect ladies' choice in this regard.

However, I must say that I've never been able to mentally digest how a woman can spend years, or even her entire married life stayiing at home. It simply leaves me wondering:

How do they get to do sufficient mental exercises? Don't they get nauseous from watching too much TV when hubby and children are out of the house? Would they feel satisfied if their young daughters who they're trying to give an education, told them they would never work after marriage? Didn't they have dreams outside marriage and parenting before getting married? Can't they at least get a part-time job or something, if they feel 8 – 5/6 is too long a time to spend outside the home?

Respect to all stay at home mums, but I still don't get the rationale behind it.

You're using a off mindset to measure them.

An unimaginative woman will be unimaginative anywhere, anytime. She will spend her working days working, gossiping and then come home to plop in front of the tv, snacking and watching Zed world and Telemundo. If she was a SAHM, she would do the same: market, schoolruns, cooking, gossiping, snacking and tv.

A talented lady, omo, she will thrive. My SaHM sister had a "No tv day" routine, where everyone in the house. will read some sort of book/periodical till bedtime. So she was better-read than most office ladies. I'm a SaHM currently and I work on projects, have started planning a business idea. Others will start a fitness routine that will blossom into. a. hobby, gardening (yes in Nigeria) will end up getting contracts, there. is. so much one can do with that time.

Nigerians are very unimaginative. So many women will take baking classes because it is in vogue or event decorating because they are at home and will now want to turn it to profit without thinking if it played to their strengths.. Everyone will now be looking to sell you birthday cake or do your wedding decor

Onegai has saved me epistle on this one .i agree whole heartedly with all your posts.And you are right most Nigerian women are not stay at home mums in the true sense of it. Most of the permanent stay at home mums (with no side income etc) that I know are white women(most of them educated)Na dem full 'mummy and baby yoga' 'tumble tots' 'mum and baby coffee mornings' etc etc black women no dey plenty for all those things. They always used to have rota of activities and I always wondered how they had the energy.


Enough of all this divisive 'studies' that try to pitch one group of women against the other.

So what happens if bread winner passes on?
What about finances?Do stay at home just keep asking for tampons all year long?
I cant be financially dependent on my hubby oh

[size=1pt]mickey45, hi, I need to know what's up, then decide if it's worth us making contact. Please brief me by outlining and mentioning me somewhere. Cheers.[/size]

Stillfire:
TV01 won't agree.

Holá Stilly, how far?

I read an excerpt, and on the whole, I probably wouldn't, although I'm sure there is some truth to it. My main query would be about the demographics of the SAHM' - were they mostly poor, single mothers, or welfare recipients?

Such would generally not have the wherewithal to inculcate even prosaic learning into their children, let alone the more esoteric, or set a progressive expectation of adult achievement. I'm sure if SAHM' in the higher classes were compared to working mums in the same strata, the results would be different - like with like.

I'm all in favour of SAHM especially for the early years. And, I would have liked to have had my children home-schooled for all of elementary school. The socialisation aspect is both myth and a red herring. Children don't even start to really interact with each other for a few years, some of the socialisation is actually detrimental - lots of negative behaviours are picked up in these interactions - and they are just as well socialised by the people around them - especially in large or extended family settings.

It's actually a source of personal regret that we didn't go this route. A family I know has 4 daughters all home-schooled. They are unbelievable. The best behaved kids ever. I've even met them on the train on my way to work heading out to museums.

It's not for everyone, but it can be done and very well, even superior to any state schooling. And it's worth noting, that state school can be little more than a holding pen for children. You have to be able to afford, or be eligible for a very good one to get the best. For many that's not the case. How many stabbings have we had this month alone - in schools 0! At least it used to be just on on the streets.

I loved onegai' first post submissions. Exactly what I would have liked. I'm encouraged to think creatively about other ways we can can have input into educating our children outside the standard schooling convention. There are probably various avenues to bring out the best in ones children.

Thanks for the mention


TV

rolled:
So what happens if bread winner passes on?
What about finances?Do stay at home just keep asking for tampons all year long?
I cant be financially dependent on my hubby oh

Let me give you 2 real-life examples:

A Nigerian lady abroad was a SAHM to 3 kids and had an abusive husband. She kept her head down till her kids were 6/7, then steadily started taking sewing classes (she's always loved sewing) and also began tutoring after-class lessons. When she asked her hubby for a divorce, he mocked her to her face that she couldn't eat without his help so she should shut up before he slaps her. She filed for divorce and he refused to bring upkeep money for his kids (hoping to starve her back to submission). Do you know that lady works with big time decorators abroad, sewing curtains and furnishings? She paid for a full tour of the US for her and her kids (not a penny from her hubby). Now he's begging everyone to please beg her to reconcile.

2nd lady was SaHM with an obsessive personality in her boredom she could organise even the nylon bag holder and started keeping beautiful accounts of the household finances. She went so far as to take accounting courses (just to keep household finances). She got so good at managing it, her hubby gisted neighbours and they started coming to her for help. She sorts out their bills and gives them financial investment advice that is catered to small incomes (if you want to invest N50, 000 in Nigeria, you won't get professional help because they are only looking to help millionaires). She's so freaking good at it, she's helped families back on their feet.

If either of those ladies work into a bank and ask for a loan to start a Small. Scale Enterprise, they will get it. If either of those 2 women meet an NGO supporting Women's Affairs, heck, they will get whatever they need.

One day, you will come home from your 9-5, plop in front of the tv and should you by chance stop at CNN or BBC on your. way to Telemundo or Zee World, you may see them bring interviewed on "Women in Business", "100 Women" or some other program showcasing women's achievements on a micro-scale. na dem your girls go dey watch to be inspired.

So what was that question about tampons again

Damiso is right, it's a white woman culture to keep busy (shame will catch you to spend time with them). Those SAHMs have started billion dollar cloth diaper industries, organic skin care lines, lifestyle blogs, home improvements blogs (just to name a few). Even in this Nigeria, some are doing beautifully.

Onegai:
There is nothing wrong with a Stay at Home Mother. I wanted to be one (because I know I can give my kids more education than they will get in school). However, the truth is that I have rarely seen a full-time Stay at Home Mums in Nigeria: all our women may leave their white-collar jobs to start families but quickly begin to run to start their own businesses. I think your kids are as motivated as you want them to be.

I agree with you, I have stayed home with my son for one year and in that year acquired a degree, something I would have never done working 8 to 5, and with all the family commitments.

End time reasons.. Good morning friendlies and haters

✆Hindsight 20/20 Future not as clear But I'm a rider till i die!

j

No more applicable in our generation!









Guys now shut down feelings automatically a moment she's not working

So you think an average Nigerian father of 5 with the salary income of 40K below will happily award his wife a Stay at home certificate?......