There's this girl who has been my very close friend for the past two years (I spoke about her in one other thread I opened up sometime ago). While I've been in other relationships, she's stuck around with me and vice versa. I make her happy in many ways and so does she.

I never had any intention of dating her. Sometime in February (while I was In my last relationship) she told me she loved me and I told her never to speak of it again because obviously I didnt feel the same way about her and I didnt want to tell her that outrightly.

Now to the bane of this tale. Ive been single for the past 4 months and so has she. We've been there for each other but not dating though. Last month she went for a beach party and met this other guy who happens to be friends with my close friends too.

Unfortunately I started having feelings for this girl this past month too (I didnt know about this new guy). I told her how I felt about her and she asked me why I was just telling her, that "its too late. Im sorry". Now I have put that thought out of my mind.

This weekend me and her had a huge fight (for other reasons) and out of anger she told me she was already "dating this guy", "I can go and die" etc etc. We made up yesterday and I asked her why she didnt tell me sooner, she said it was because she didnt want to hurt me.

Now I'm sad and heartbroken, not because she's dating this guy but because I found out during a fight.

I dont want to be in a relationship with her or anyone for that matter. But I still need her in my life because talking to her makes me happy and vice versa too.

Can the great and ever lenient minds of Nairaland tell me what to do? You fit yab me oo. Its still one love.

I forgot to add earlier on. its should also be noted that my friends told me the guy said he just wants to shag her and has no "real" intentions of dating her. I didnt tell her because I dont interfere in anyway

sorry for leaving that part out

Bros for a start, do you know that you don't know exactly what you want in the relationship department?
Do you mind giving yourself, the lady in question and other parties a BREAK?
Sometimes, it's always there in our front but we keep looking for it elsewhere.
You are not been fair to her because it's obvious you don't want to date her but you want to colonize and keep her around you enjoying the emotional torture you are making her go through for your sake oblivious of that.
Now that you feel her slipping away from you, you allowed infatuation to overwhelm you thinking you are now seriously in love with her.
She has become over saturated with loving you and has moved on, that force of energy to love YOU the same has faded from her.
Even if you manipulate or seduce her into coming back to you, bet me it would never remain the same.
Do you know that coming out of a relationship and diving into another one without healing from the former will ruin the later?
So I think you should humbly give yourself a break and and do other things with your life aside relationship palaver.
Sometimes, being free from all those relationship issues can be MIND BLOWING.
Op.. All these things I'm listing here, I hope it is entering? Not going in from one ear and disappearing through the other.
Be strong. But mind you, it may take a long time but if you guys are made for each other then fate will have a way of connecting you two back.

16yrs olds every where

wantin wat u cant av

jus enta shoprites an get vaseline, d big size

u will nid it

I really don't know cos now ders another man and trusts me her attention will shift from u. You just have to accept how everything is right now and make new frnds.

You said u don't want to be in a relationship with her....You guys made up rite meaning u guys are bk on d friendship level...so she is still in your life..wic advice u kon dey find naw

friendzoned

sissylucy:
You said u don't want to be in a relationship with her....You guys made up rite meaning u guys are bk on d friendship level...so she is still in your life..wic advice u kon dey find naw

I wonder oh

richie9093:
There's this girl who has been my very close friend for the past two years (I spoke about her in one other thread I opened up sometime ago). While I've been in other relationships, she's stuck around with me and vice versa. I make her happy in many ways and so does she.

I never had any intention of dating her. Sometime in February (while I was In my last relationship) she told me she loved me and I told her never to speak of it again because obviously I didnt feel the same way about her and I didnt want to tell her that outrightly.

Now to the bane of this tale. Ive been single for the past 4 months and so has she. We've been there for each other but not dating though. Last month she went for a beach party and met this other guy who happens to be friends with my close friends too.

Unfortunately I started having feelings for this girl this past month too (I didnt know about this new guy). I told her how I felt about her and she asked me why I was just telling her, that "its too late. Im sorry". Now I have put that thought out of my mind.

This weekend me and her had a huge fight (for other reasons) and out of anger she told me she was already "dating this guy", "I can go and die" etc etc. We made up yesterday and I asked her why she didnt tell me sooner, she said it was because she didnt want to hurt me.

Now I'm sad and heartbroken, not because she's dating this guy but because I found out during a fight.

I dont want to be in a relationship with her or anyone for that matter. But I still need her in my life because talking to her makes me happy and vice versa too.

Can the great and ever lenient minds of Nairaland tell me what to do? You fit yab me oo. Its still love.

What do you want?

hertz9te:
friendzoned

How can I be friendzoned if I didnt plan in dating her in the first place? smh

You won't like what I'm going to say but I'll say it anyway. Kindly, respectably and gentlemanly leave her alone and go look for someone else because she's already moved on after you rejected her.
By the way, where did all this if-I-don't-have-her-I'll-die love suddenly come out from anyway?

JumpingChicken:


What do you want?

tbh, I dont know. thats why I'm not even angry she is with the guy.

I'm just afraid things will be strenuous especially after the huge fight we just had.

richie9093:
There's this girl who has been my very close friend for the past two years (I spoke about her in one other thread I opened up sometime ago). While I've been in other relationships, she's stuck around with me and vice versa. I make her happy in many ways and so does she.

I never had any intention of dating her. Sometime in February (while I was In my last relationship) she told me she loved me and I told her never to speak of it again because obviously I didnt feel the same way about her and I didnt want to tell her that outrightly.

Now to the bane of this tale. Ive been single for the past 4 months and so has she. We've been there for each other but not dating though. Last month she went for a beach party and met this other guy who happens to be friends with my close friends too.

Unfortunately I started having feelings for this girl this past month too (I didnt know about this new guy). I told her how I felt about her and she asked me why I was just telling her, that "its too late. Im sorry". Now I have put that thought out of my mind.

This weekend me and her had a huge fight (for other reasons) and out of anger she told me she was already "dating this guy", "I can go and die" etc etc. We made up yesterday and I asked her why she didnt tell me sooner, she said it was because she didnt want to hurt me.

Now I'm sad and heartbroken, not because she's dating this guy but because I found out during a fight.

I dont want to be in a relationship with her or anyone for that matter. But I still need her in my life because talking to her makes me happy and vice versa too.

Can the great and ever lenient minds of Nairaland tell me what to do? You fit yab me oo. Its still love.

the bolded, to me, does insinuate that you had sex with her, which is of course very wrong since she's just your friend. If you did that! Shame on you!


However, you have emotions swimming up and down around you. You need to calm down, you had your chance, you blew it.


Get over yourself okay? You know what you want, you want to retain her friendship, you don't want a "relationship", you can do that by talking to her, but respect her new relationship as a good friend.

osesology:
You won't like what I'm going to say but I'll say it anyway. Kindly, respectably and gentlemanly leave her alone and go look for someone else because she's already moved on after you rejected her.
By the way, where did all this if-I-don't-have-her-I'll-die love suddenly come out from anyway?

lool. bros, no be so. The matter is a very complex matter. I really dont want to make a meal out of this matter and quiclly forget about it in a week or so.

obiorathesubtle:
the bolded, to me, does insinuate that you had sex with her, which is of course very wrong since she's just your friend. If you did that! Shame on you!


However, you have emotions swimming up and down around you. You need to calm down, you had your chance, you blew it.


Get over yourself okay? You know what you want, you want to retain her friendship, you don't want a "relationship", you can do that by talking to her, but respect her new relationship as a good friend.

Sex? I never even kiss am. I tried to keep it as platonic as possible. When we are walking she would put my arms on her waist, I would remove it and place it on her shoulders.

I guess I took her for granted and its too late to make up for that. Based on what people have been saying, I can just be there for her as a good friend.

chocolateme:
Bros for a start, do you know that you don't know exactly what you want in the relationship department?
Do you mind giving yourself, the lady in question and other parties a BREAK?
Sometimes, it's always there in our front but we keep looking for it elsewhere.
You are not been fair to her because it's obvious you don't want to date her but you want to colonize and keep her around you enjoying the emotional torture you are making her go through for your sake oblivious of that.
Now that you feel her slipping away from you, you allowed infatuation to overwhelm you thinking you are now seriously in love with her.
She has become over saturated with loving you and has moved on, that force of energy to love YOU the same has faded from her.
Even if you manipulate or seduce her into coming back to you, bet me it would never remain the same.
Do you know that coming out of a relationship and diving into another one without healing from the former will ruin the later?
So I think you should humbly give yourself a break and and do other things with your life aside relationship palaver.
Sometimes, being free from all those relationship issues can be MIND BLOWING.
Op.. All these things I'm listing here, I hope it is entering? Not going in from one ear and disappearing through the other.
Be strong. But mind you, it may take a long time but if you guys are made for each other then fate will have a way of connecting you two back.

Wow. Exactly wat d op nids 2 hear

iceberylin:
16yrs olds every where

You could have hidden your immaturity. Don't forget to do so next time.

Op
Life happens. You didn't know your then relationship will turn out like this. Now that things didn't turn out well and you want to ride with her, she's moved on already. Let's say you weren't so sensitive. Messed up? I don't think you did. Just let her be and continue with your friendship.

richie9093:


Sex? I never even kiss am. I tried to keep it as platonic as possible. When we are walking she would put my arms on her waist, I would remove it and place it on her shoulders.

I guess I took her for granted and its too late to make up for that. Based on what people have been saying, I can just be there for her as a good friend.

ahhh, my work here is done. You're thinking for yourself.


Light speed bro!

Hmm you just need to give her a break.. Give her some time to miss you.. As her close friend , you shouldn't have told her your feelings for her when you already know she's into you even if the other guy is involved.. You should have seized it without taking permission from her like touching her more than usual, talking sexually around her and humorously teasing her

chocolateme:
Bros for a start, do you know that you don't know exactly what you want in the relationship department?
Do you mind giving yourself, the lady in question and other parties a BREAK?
Sometimes, it's always there in our front but we keep looking for it elsewhere.
You are not been fair to her because it's obvious you don't want to date her but you want to colonize and keep her around you enjoying the emotional torture you are making her go through for your sake oblivious of that.
Now that you feel her slipping away from you, you allowed infatuation to overwhelm you thinking you are now seriously in love with her.
She has become over saturated with loving you and has moved on, that force of energy to love YOU the same has faded from her.
Even if you manipulate or seduce her into coming back to you, bet me it would never remain the same.
Do you know that coming out of a relationship and diving into another one without healing from the former will ruin the later?
So I think you should humbly give yourself a break and and do other things with your life aside relationship palaver.
Sometimes, being free from all those relationship issues can be MIND BLOWING.
Op.. All these things I'm listing here, I hope it is entering? Not going in from one ear and disappearing through the other.
Be strong. But mind you, it may take a long time but if you guys are made for each other then fate will have a way of connecting you two back.

Spot on. Thanks for this advice. I want to talk to her and let her know things are fine. She's one of the best things a man could ask for and I dont want to lose her because shes a very good friend too.

Zonal chairman of friendzone.

Bamz555:
Zonal chairman of friendzone.

Did you read the part about me rejecting her first? do you even know what friendzone means?

obiorathesubtle:
the bolded, to me, does insinuate that you had sex with her, which is of course very wrong since she's just your friend. If you did that! Shame on you!


However, you have emotions swimming up and down around you. You need to calm down, you had your chance, you blew it.


Get over yourself okay? You know what you want, you want to retain her friendship, you don't want a "relationship", you can do that by talking to her, but respect her new relationship as a good friend.

] u jus said my mind dear he should jus respect her new relationship and leave her alone jus retain d friendship nothing more

Julietcutie:

] u jus said my mind dear he should jus respect her new relationship and leave her alone jus retain d friendship nothing more

yea, he should. Goodevening tho. Hope you're doing okay?

In omawumi's voice : If you ask me, the matter for ground, na who i go ask?

obiorathesubtle:
yea, he should. Goodevening tho. Hope you're doing okay?

evening ...am fine u

Julietcutie:
evening ...am fine u

same here!

Have a good night rest tho

man think ahead go to her and speak to her softly and tell her your mind

Op ur simply a confused fellow buh lemme not talk much cos :
chocolateme has given her epistle, iceberylin doesn't have much to say; SUGARBEE said a part of my mind; JumpingChicken quoted your entire story just to mutter four inconsequential words, asking a question on a question; VaselineSquad keeps making the price of Vaseline go up; sissylucy also said a piece of my mind; and osesology is blunt buh kindly take his advice. I Thankyou all.

sapiosexual1:
Op ur simply a confused fellow buh lemme not talk much cos :
chocolateme has given her epistle, iceberylin doesn't have much to say; SUGARBEE said a part of my mind; JumpingChicken quoted your entire story just to mutter four inconsequential words, asking a question on a question; VaselineSquad keeps making the price of Vaseline go up; sissylucy also said a piece of my mind; and osesology is blunt buh kindly take his advice. I Thankyou all.

Lol now who's more confused between you and Op?