"Husband Scarcity" has become one of the challenges faced by many young girls today. If you go to prayer houses, majority of the intentions are prayer for a life partner. And this calls for concern. Casting our minds back to the time of our mothers and grandmothers, was there really much of a "Husband Scarcity" problem? Or, maybe there were more men than women then, or there was an adequate corresponding numbers of both genders. I don't think so. Maybe then, the women had values and were prepared to build a home and not park into a built home. Then, once a young man comes of age and can at least feed himself and his wife, he goes out in search of a wife and the woman really appreciates him and helps him to build a future. What am I really trying to say? We created what we now see as "Husband Scarcity" for ourselves. Today, the reverse is the case. Ask an average girl to define her dream husband; you get things like "he has to be tall, handsome, fair, and rich, own a house at least, and be presentable" and then she adds "God fearing" in order not to sound so worldly. Then, check the number of girls around you and the number of men that meet that standard, and you will see the problem. You hear girls say, "I cannot suffer in my father's house and then go and start suffering with a man." What a wonderful dream! What if from the beginning, you have everything you want and there is no suffering, and later in the marriage, the table turns around, then comes suffering? Will you run away? No one prays for suffering, but it is good to start small and end big, than start big and end small. The problem is that the description majority of girls give of their ideal man is virtually the same. When 50 girls want the same kind of man and the man that fits what they want is just 1 man, and the man can only pick one. Then, what becomes of 49 others? They simply start lamenting of "Husband Scarcity". Another irony of our time is that it is hard, due to the face of our economy to find a man who is of marriage age who possesses all those things these ladies want, legally. If you look around, majority of the ladies of substance, of good value and virtue, who are ready to build a home with a man who has prospects, are married and not complaining of husband scarcity. The easiest way to find a husband now, is to change your view of who a husband is. A husband is that man God made and then saw that it may be hard for him to really actualize his purpose for making him, without a help mate and then made the woman and gave to him, and he felt complete and fulfilled. MARRIAGE IS NOT A POVERTY ALLEVIATION PROGRAM. It is a mission of building the family of God here on earth. For those who see marriage as a way out of poverty, it is a way into bondage. Women are HOME BUILDERS, not HOME WARMERS... DON'T CONFUSE A MAN'S PATH WITH HIS DESTINY. Where he is today, may only be a route to where God has destined him to be tomorrow. Another truth is that YOU MAY BE THE ONLY FAST MEANS TO THAT HIS DESTINATION. Join in alleviating "husband scarcity". PICK UP THE RIGHT VALUES. I am not saying that you should pick anyone that comes your way and talks of marriage, not all men are husband materials. What I am saying is that you should stop setting your standard on material acquisitions or physical appearances. Look beyond the physical. WHAT MAKES A MAN WHO HE IS, IS NOT WHAT HE OWNS OR HOW HE LOOKS, IT IS WHAT HE IS MADE UP OF. And that which he is made of is, most times, not seen with the physical eyes, only its effects can be seen. Marriage is a permanent thing. Whatever is seen is temporal and that which is not seen is permanent. Relax and go to God in prayer. God did not just make Eve for making sake; He made her for Adam's need to be truncated.

perhaps instead of husband scarcity you should say husband reluctance or wife reluctance.

and a lot of women are financially well off these days, so poverty alleviation doesn't always apply.

Well. Everyone is busy chasing dreams and won't know time is going?

My coach will say, 'I 4got to get married'. Y women dy jinger for marriage. One dy hia dy worry me. Build career, help ppl u dnt kw, catch fun wit homies, nairaland n nt coming bk to baby cries, wife nagging, inlaw brouhahas. Btw, i nva plan to be sharing my toilet. Evn fuel scarce. Ladies define paradygm shift?

Mshewwwww

Another stewpeed thread

too long

@OP:

I see people get married every Saturdays....

Some sef have shifted to weekdays.

Majority of the ladies who claim to be searching still has brother Richard sending recharge card and brother Tunmise ti oun tun be se.

So I don't understand this husband scarcity thingy.

Now if you are talking behaviour wise, that is another thing all together.

I am going to be very brief.

The issue of husband scarcity = large pool of unmarried men is an epidemic that may soon consume Nigeria.

The country is a very familial society. All three major tribes that make up the country have a strong bias towards family life therefore the pressure for young women to get married rather quickly is intense.

I am going to use a well known friend as case study.

He graduated 2009. Served 2010/2011 enrolled for msc immediately and in the middle of msc (2013) he got a job.

His plan was to conclude his msc and evaluate his options before planning to settle down.

His msc was delayed due to the new job and he ended up concluding the program 2015.

Upon conclusion of the program he realised he needed to change career path and the easiest way to do that was to travel abroad for another msc.

He decided he will stay on the job for a further 2 years to save enough money for that.

Lemme stop here and do a quick analysis, how many ladies would have graduated since this young man graduated in 2009 ?

And those ladies too are vying for the same pool of men who are busy working hard at securing a lasting career.

The ripple effect that more men opting to pursue financial freedom and career growth instead of getting married has is likely to cause a huge imbalance of in the number of unmarried women to men.

As more pool of women joi the fray, the abundance of women will start to mean ladies will have to offer themselves to men if they must have a chance at being married and they even have to coerce, beg of blackmail them with pregnancy as we are seeing.

All these will lead to a society where women will begin to loose thier respect and pride as young wayward girls also contest with married women for there husbands.


The blame goes to the bad economy which has made men particularly educated men put career before family hence making them to marry well late into their 30's.

This is the more reason y islam permits a man to marry more than one wife.

Oko wan lode

AyaSulaiman:
This is the more reason y islam permits a man to marry more than one wife.

Oko wan lode

Its "won" and not "wan:.

Seriously now I come from a deep muslim family as in my fathers side.

My grandma is always complaining about my educated uncles not marrying more than 1 wife.

She feels education is the reason and sometimes complains of westernization. Her position is that as a muslim my uncles must marry at the least 2 wives. lolz.

My dad was a muslim too but became a christian wait for this *because of my mom*.

My moms parents would not marry their daughter to a muslim so my dad a son of an alfa I mean first born of his own mother became a christian just to marry my mom.

And you bet he is still a christian and married to one wife.

I do not think husbands are scarce though. Men are not scarce men but the problem is that men are busy running after a secured future due to unstable economic climate.

It seems OP is finding it difficult with ladies, seems like his efforts at wooing ladies has not been yielding positive results, hence a need to open this thread to make himself feel good. My brother carry go, you will find someone, make sure you work hard, soon they will accept you.

Pidggin:
It seems OP is finding it difficult with ladies, seems like his efforts at wooing ladies has not been yielding positive results, hence a need to open this thread to make himself feel good. My brother carry go, you will find someone, make sure you work hard, soon they will accept you.

You can never be too sure...

But seriously, this case is a very serious case.

Ugosample:


You can never be too sure...

But seriously, this case is a very serious case.

I wish we can get actual figures instead of speculations. I keep witnessing marriages so often that I find it hard to believe in this "Husband scarcity" speculation.

Pidggin:


I wish we can get actual figures instead of speculations. I keep witnessing marriages so often that I find it hard to believe in this "Husband scarcity" speculation.

And I'm my own end, I see so many single ladies above 35.

I believe this whole marriage craze threads in nairaland is made to massage some frustrated men's ego. If person no marry, e no concern anybody.

I'll be back with some experiences.

Ugosample:


And I'm my own end, I see so many single ladies above 35.

I believe this whole marriage craze threads in nairaland is made to massage some frustrated men's ego. If person no marry, e no concern anybody.

I'll be back with some experiences.

dont mind them even the ladies are not complaining. Guyz are the ones creating this kind of topic