My Dearest Wife

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year,
I have attempted to make love
to you 365 times. I have
succeeded 36 times, which is an
average of only once every 10 days.
The following is a list of why
I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed,
the result was not always satisfying
because 6 times you just laid there,
8 times you reminded me that there was

a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you
told me to hurry up and get it over with,
7 times I had to wake you up to tell you
I was finished, and once I was afraid that
I had hurt you because you started thrashing
around and breathing heavy.
Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

**********************

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL
reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and
were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time
and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't
talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was,
"Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was
thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was
fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

Source: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q1/letter.110.html

Hahahahahaha!! Some people are so creative eh!
The ones that got me cracking my ribz are that of lying still because he missed her as the bed sheet was bearing the consequences and that of choking on his fart ew!!
Op nice one.



FTC
Chocolate cream

Pbs4real come nd read diz o!


Vaselinecrew
Truckpusher

This is what u get when both husband and wife are professors of statistics.

sinaj:





Pbs4real come nd read diz o!


Vaselinecrew
Truckpusher

Stop calling me to come and see these immoral things.

That wife must be very smart and intelligent

There has always been 3 sides to every story.. The Complainant's sides.. The Defendant's sides.. The real truth...












Chai!!! The wife's reply was epic

Truckpusher:
Stop calling me to come and see these immoral things.

lol the Lord is good

chocolateme:
Hahahahahaha!! Some people are so creative eh!
The ones that got me cracking my ribz are that of lying still because he missed her as the bed sheet was bearing the consequences and that of choking on his fart ew!!
Op nice one.

My favourite part was when she said "The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and
were screwing the sheet"

hmmm

The wife gave lame excuses

Ladies been deceiving men since after Adam and Eve

This is what you get when couple live together like cat and mouse.

Bboked

dies

which one do u prefer "back or kneel?

---

Pls check my signature

.

Hahaha

OK

A yolloba couple i guess...

Hmmm...some stupid things we do on the process of love making! that reminds me my last bleep. She was on her knees and i was giving her doggy style. it was so hot, rough and pleasurable to both of us, not until she farted and i started gasping for air

Do you want to learn AutoCAD on your own? check my signature

.

am very certain 90% of d pple dat will comment are d unmarried ones... smh 4u o ....somethins are just meant 4 married folks.. if u agree click like

Hahajajahaha, this is interesting.

Funny couple

Crazy

No no no!! This wife must be probed!?
Laugh don kill me oo!!!