raayah:


I tire oh! Father has been disciplining him for 21 years and he did not change. It's time for the father to sit and think where he as a father went wrong.

Madam, the average Nigerian equates abuse of whatever kind to discipline. If those beatings could change people then over 95% of youths should be awesome in all ways

Therock5555:
If I was trying to vindicate myself I won't put up something as derogatory as looking up my mom's skirt

I don't smoke, drink, party or go out at night. I keep intimate relationship but out of his sight



My crimes were just playing football, petty stealing to play pes and other minor stuffs.

I've done bad things agreed but I guess that's what makes me human

If you justify yourself and your crimes I guess your father has his own reasons.

Therock5555:
if I'm cooking this up, may the death wish and all curses he has rained on me also fall on you. Amen

Guy park well, the way you sound makes me wonder if your dad was right after all. I pray I never meet someone like you.

Therock5555:
I'm 21

You are still very much young. Too bad, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't start preparing yourself for independence. Start seeing yourself as a man , hence, you should get prepared to leave the house. Sorry.

Therock5555:
21

I'm not a writer. I prefer to talk but the long and short is


call his bluff
if he strikes you defend yourself
do not strike back Just deflect
show him he can't bully you anymore
but
make up your mind to leave Just in case
it will be tough but you will overcome

others have done it
you will too

but mostly he is just bluffing
he is a bully that likes to make ppl cower in fear
if you leave,then nobody to shout on so he won't throw you out

also stay out of the house
find somewhere to hang

finally do the medicin
shebi he will come and pass the exam for you

let me know what you want to do so you come up with plan for that. don't worry you're still young

I lost 10 yrs due to the same thing
so don't worry it's not only you

don't worry diaris God
let me know what you really want to do

my email mikolowiska@gmail.com

CC viickerz

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

my guy,ur story isnt any different from mine save the insults.first,u need to be truthful to urself that u've made some mistakes,so from now on need to start doing the right things tho no one can ever be perfect.Talking bout being perfect,i used to think my dad was all perfect and i always feel really bad when i did something wrong but when i got to know bout the wrongs he had commited and some he is still commiting,i would be like so u even don do bad pass me(just knw ur dad's not perfect),but i still respect him so should u................my guy just imagine if u had children and they do the things u've done or u are doing,would u be happy with them?probably no.......would u take it out on them like ur father does to u?of course not..............All i need u to do is to show him how great u are(it aint goin to be easy) and one day he would regret all the wrongs he did to u but he wont ever regret ever been ur father cause u would be better than he would ever be.......______.........be strong and pppplllllleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeeeee update the preacher's som part 3 na beg i dey beg u o.

chocolateme:
Tnx for the compliment

chocolateme:
Tnx for the compliment

Therock5555:
21

I'm sorry I'm too lazy to write
you can email me at mikolowiska@gmail.com so I I call you on bbm or whatsapp
but long and short
many ppl havecovered it
he is a bully
he thinks that is the only way to communicate
he wants best for you
but only knows forceful way

but basically be prepared to be kicked out of House
next time he wants to beat you defend yourself
do not retaliate just deflect strikes (or hold cane and collect it, you're not a child anymore)

if he he says you're stupid say you're not
it won't stop him but Will reduce it
and help you not to break down psychologically

also what do you want to do,law,mass comm let me know
agree to do the medicine (shebi na him go pass the exam for you) however if you can cope do it if not do his own and let his eyes come down (we have to talk for me to explain this properly) I'm not very articulate on paper

it's better to lose 1 or 2 years teaching him a lesson than using 15 to learn one like i did

but main thing is you have to call his bluff

Therock5555:
21

I'm not a writer. I prefer to talk but the long and short is


call his bluff
if he strikes you defend yourself
do not strike back Just deflect
show him he can't bully you anymore
but
make up your mind to leave Just in case
it will be tough but you will overcome

others have done it
you will too

but mostly he is just bluffing
he is a bully that likes to make ppl cower in fear
if you leave,then nobody to shout on so he won't

let me know what you want to do so you come up with plan for that. don't worry you're still young

don't worry diaris God
let me know what you really want to do

my email mikolowiska@gmail.com

CC viickerz

Some parents be acting like dey wer saints growing up.create a decent life for urself,road is never easy for anyone bt ders always an end to all d bs

Oh Lord God!! Hmmm


some parents are the reason the movie 3idiots is still very relevant and effective than the barrels of words from relatives, concerned peeps etc.


TheRock5555, youve got mail.

Therock5555:
and that profile pix is gonna remain there till I leave Nl, because I have never changed it so have a good view.

Then castrate your own son first, maybe you have done worst things than I but you cloud yourself in a shadow of self righteousness and holiness and under a fake aura to claim holier than thou attitude.

If you agree that you have never seen a worldly image or movie or have never seen then let God take everything good that he has planned for me and dash you

/
No need fighting me.

God is using your father to punish you already.

/

naijadeyhia:



[b]I noticed a trend with you. You do not take criticism well and even here you only respond to the posts that fan your ego. You are just 21 yrs old kid so you ain't seen nothing yet. I am sure deep down inside you know ur father loves u. Has your father ever paid the police to lock u up for 2 days? Has your dad ever disowned u? Has your dad ever asked u to leave his house and u slept on someone's balcony on a raffia mat in the rain and sun? Has your dad stopped your school fees because u said u are born again and u had to pay your way through higher institution by yourself? Has your dad made your entire family both nuclear and extended to detest u because they respected him so much and automatically felt he was right and you were wrong so took his side without listening to you and your only friend was your mom? Dude I passed through all that as a first son in order to be the man i am today. Different strokes for different folks. Some dads are wimps and would say yes to everything u do or say while others put their foot down on anything and everything.

They don't make us who we end up unless we chose to end up that way. Grow up and smell the coffee. You are the first son and to whom much is given much is expected... With great power comes great responsibility. OP Change[/b]!!!!

bro if I answer every comments here then I might keep replying for ever, as someone rightly said, some people commenting ain't have a clue about what I've gone through, I don't need anybody to fan my ego, for God's sake I didn't claim to be the perfect specie so I appreciate whatever is thrown at me


Some comments were passed cus I already replied similar post as theirs, I'm stressed pls.

Thanks for the advice

freshcvvs:


I noticed that too. He's interested in getting pitied rather than solving the whole issue.

if I needed pity I would have used an alternate moniker, I'm popular enough in the literature section to search for self pity, this could even kill my NL image

I'm just broken and can't keep living in self delusion again, I hope you understand

naijadeyhia:


Can you just listen to yourself? Your problem is major! You are very confrontational and i dare say even To your dad. You hate corrections because you have this "I am always right" mentality. Nobody here can help you...the only person who can help you is you.

trust me when I say 95% of what you just wrong is the complete opposite of me.

I prefer to keep out of their hair and be alone but it's like disturbing a hungry lion, I hardly talk except I'm confronted extremely. I have never raised my voice at me except he starts beating, you yourself should figure that out, anger could make you say things, I'm not a bag of beans without emotions

Therock5555:
if I needed pity I would have used an alternate moniker, I'm popular enough in the literature section to search for self pity, this could even kill my NL image

I'm just broken and can't keep living in self delusion again, I hope you understand

I asked about your mom's position in all these in my previous comments which you didn't attend to.

I also asked about your sibling's positions, does he also disgrace them as your opined about yourself?

Do you all sit together in his absence to discuss his attitude towards "ALL OF YOU"? i don't mean to you alone, but to all of you?

naijadeyhia:



You are a bundle of contradiction! You a sunday school teacher yet on nairaland you write so much trash and have that repulsion on your DP?

You need deliverance and a very strong hand indeed. I have told u repeatedly that u are the architect of ur own problem.

Ur dad even listened to you and was willing to let you show and teach him about nairaland and u say he doesn't care? He wants a relationship with you but you have a different spirit.

Do you know that an online life and physical life are two huge spams


I showed my dad Nl because he wanted a site to read news and not because he knew I was a member here, he is not even a registered member, he only frequents fp

If you can't decipher all what I've wrote them no P

I'm sure you think all this fierce monikers are lions offline

naijadeyhia:
Many of you here giving advice are still kids yourself who still have rebellious tendencies so you would always want to stick with the OP. However OP I am not on your team. Allow me to tell you why.

1) I first took time to go through your posts here on nairaland as well as your diaries including those you said " the stories were true but names changed" and you really need help....i will come back to this shortly....

2) You are the second child but the first son and you wonder why your father is being hard on you? I am also a first son and all you lamented about I experienced it too but until I realised that my dad was not the problem and that I had the problem things never changed.
You see like you I and so stood up to my dad often but only on issues that were right especially after I became born again but I never stood up to him in disrespect but calmly passed my message across. I have slept in the rain, sun, got disowned at a point, slept with church members and eaten with them as no food was forthcoming from home because like u I was also . labelled a black sheep so you see your case isn't peculiar.
It is the one whom the father loves that he chastises the most and until I learnt how to draw close to my dad and engage him in truly meaningful conversation I was my own problem.
I had my fair share of hotels and women and it was as if I was hellbent on dis gracing my family until I had to stop and think and make some major adjustments and today I am my father's best friend as we joke around as friends not even as father and son. FYI my dad is now 68 and I around 40.
He wanted me to be an urban and regional planner which I studied in school but inside I wanted to be a musician or a businessman so I deliberately chose to do a biz of my own just tons pipe him but it only made matters worse.
However today all things have worked together fo Good because I am now fully into real estate but from all business angle as I develop and sell properties.

My dad really loved me in his own twisted way but I had to discover that and will myself to move towards him Same way u need to discover yours and move closer.
Only intense anger would make make a father wish his son was dead and I would like to say that his expectations from you as a first son and your actions or inactions pushed him to that point.

I dare say that perhaps peer pressure is one of your major problems as you seem to be having more influences outside your home and foolishly bring those influences into ur fathers house.
He is the captain of that home and not you...LEARN AND UNDERSTAND THAT! Why you get your own place and pay your own rent then feel free to do as u please.

I am a father now so fully appreciate what my dad tried doing when I was young. You OP will soon see the bigger picture as right now u are not.

Back to number 1 above... i want you to tell yourself the truth which at a point in this your submission u did when u said "u are demonic" . Ask yourself if your head is in the right place and if your actions match the impression u want ur dad to have about u. Clean yourself up OP....clean up your mind, ur thoughts and the words that come from u. REBRAND and you will see your dad do same.

On a final note, every father has n expectation for his kids and yours is not an exception. You will also have expectations for your kids when they start coming and perhaps you may give them corporal punishment when they fail to live up to your expectations. Sit down and give your life a thought OP and u will see that your dad isn't that bad.

Cheers!

A wonderful piece worth my pausing again to comment on.
I'm yet to advice but in a case I don't, this dude has done justice to ur case.
Op is even smarter than his advisors asking him to leave the house when his education is at stake. Guys no be nollywood o! If he tries it, chances that he will make it is slimmer than u guys watch in the movies
Make I continue dey read

naijadeyhia:



You are hellbent on embarrassing and getting your pound of flesh from your dad. Since you know he would read it on nairaland what stops you from sending him this as a private email or sms afterall he would still read it. So why put it on an open forum for all to read since he also visits th same forum a lot and u are not particularly on here and saying all this so u can be helped but just so he can read it.

would an sms contain all your comments


It seems you are hell bent on painting me bad, yes I agree I'm stubborn atimes but does it justifies his actions

I dropped this so that he could see and also see the replies from Nl

BTW how would I manage to embarrass him? Maybe adding his pix and number might cut my case across right?

IMO22:
I feel ur pain bro.pm me if u wanna meet 2 talk.I'll b in Kogi state till Dec.My twin bro passed thru same...mayb worse.

I'm actually in Nasarawa state

ideyhere:


E no get any enemy wey dey work against em destiny...Nawa to Nigerians ooh.
Truth is most guys are rebellious in nature at their teens and early adulthood. And very few get along with their fathers at that age. With all those sagging pants, drinking and late nights, parents fear that their sons would go astray so they fight. They just want the best for you. And like most people have rightly said, the OP seems to enjoy self-pity.

Grow up and start being busy. If you don't want to study medicine, do something else...but make sure you're making productive use of your time. C'mon my dad had to send my only brother to be a mechanic apprentice just so he doesn't laze about at home Now more than 4 years later, with him almost true with his first degree in mechanical engineering, he still goes to that mechanic workshop during vacations, of his own freewill now not because he had to. And if you see him and dad discussing now, you'll just be amazed...

sis I don't drink, smoke nor party

I chase girls but it's codedly, my mum even asked if I was gay one time because no girl has ever come to look for me at home

I do everything to stay outta their hair and protect his public image but my slightest offence turns a full blown affair

BTW I am always at home before 8pm

naijadeyhia:


He isn't close to any edge. He is just creating this world of pity and pain and chaos by himself and crated the so called edge u say he is close to. His father does not hate him...His father loves him in his own way. Gosh he is 21 and his father hasn't poisoned him or stabbed or broken his head yet has he and he never will. Just wants the best for his first son that's all.

should I tell you how he flogged and stood on my head with both legs because I was 30 mins late from an errand he sent me upon the fact that I trekked or how I was nearly thrown off a storey building because I did not put on the gen quickly enough when nepa took light and he missed a few scenes in a soap opera


You can seat on your chair of criticism and type all you want, because you were the best son ever liveth does not make you any better than I am

kazuna:
Just Die this instant and you would see him wail his eyes out.....HE LOVES YOU DESPITE HIS HARD STANCES....BE patient, you will soon become independent.

since you are inclined towards the creative, then learn a creative skill like 3D animation. You can go here https://www.nairaland.com/1320631/3d-enthusiast-zone-blender-3d/43 or meet me here https://www.nairaland.com/2756386/kazuna-cobalts-3d-portfolio.

I wont mind personally guiding you...if you are interested that is!

Sometimes we learn or improve better with constraints strewn our paths.

IF HE REALLY HATES YOU LIKE YOU HAVE PAINTED HIM.....HE COULD HAVE SOLD YOU TO A BABY FACTORY a long time ago or perhaps hire thugs to snuff your life while you parole the streets....

I would pm sire

Therock5555:
should I tell you how he flogged and stood on my head with both legs because I was 30 mins late from an errand he sent me upon the fact that I trekked or how I was nearly thrown off a storey building because I did not put on the gen quickly enough when nepa took light and he missed a few scenes in a soap opera


You can seat on your chair of criticism and type all you want, because you were the best son ever liveth does not make you any better than I am

[b]
You have a lot to learn. You would actually be a model child if you can channel all this negative energy u have In the right direction but somehow you have preprogramed your mind to reject truth and rather embrace what appeals to you. In scripture it's called "itching ears". An ear that wants to only hear what he likes even when they are lies and wrong for him just because that is the life he wants.

If your dad flogged u so have other dad's as well...heck I sometimes smack my kid on his bum to set him straight and he is just 3 yrs old. I have seen parents apply different correction methods on their kids and often times the method varies from child to child but for your dad to be this physical and tough on u is either one of 2 things;

1) He wants you to man up fast

2) You have repeatedly exhibited stubborn and rebellious tendencies and he feels he has to fight force with force and you are helping him do this by keeping on being the way u are.

They say "when a man washes his hands well he will sit with elders". If you want a better and more productive and profitable relationship with your dad then will yourself to take counsel from persons who are older than you are and not this wall you keep raising whenever good counsel is directed at you[/b].

Therock5555:
would an sms contain all your comments


It seems you are hell bent on painting me bad, yes I agree I'm stubborn atimes but does it justifies his actions

I dropped this so that he could see and also see the replies from Nl

BTW how would I manage to embarrass him? Maybe adding his pix and number might cut my case across right?

[b]
Our comments are immaterial to your dad because he has his own version of your story and you are his son and he has a right to determine the best method he would use to raise you especially with your own admissions of being demonic, rebellious and stubborn.

What you are doing is a pity party and that isn't what you need. You need a wholistic approach and it begins with you. I believe that by the time you clock 30 or so you would look back and thank your dad for making you a principled, disciplined young man but right now discipline is yet far from you as you have testified yourself how you are a sunday school teacher yet you "codedly" chase girls, steal (but to you its petty stealing), post the trashy stuff u do here on nairaland and your DP? That's a whole new level of low. These are the ones we can see but I am sure your dad has seen way more coupled with the fact that he is a Pastor.

Young man grow up and stop whining. Introduce change and change will come back to you. What you sow is what u will reap. Sow good and good will somehow someday come back to u. God loves u more than your dad does but even with all the love God has for you...hell is real and true for u if u continue with ur hypocritical life and your dad would not be blamed for that[/b].

What u should know, most African fathers ar d same, if one of thier children is nt doing well they treat him differently, dt let anybody make u feel bad, if u can rent a room and pair wit a friend d better.

What u should know, most African fathers ar d same, if one of thier children is nt doing well they treat him differently, dt let anybody make u feel bad, if u can rent a room or pair wit a friend d better.

raayah:



Are you better than all the students that were not flogged?? How you people defend child abuse is against me!

Let me tell you something, the canings did not make you a better man. You made yourself a better man. Most of the armed robbers and bad people you see in the world were caned a lot for flimsy reasons.
They build up resentment and lose empathy for people because no one showed them empathy when they needed it.

If Caning is so good, why do people complain as adults when soldiers flog them to keep them in order.? Flogging children is easy because you have systematic power over them and you want to enforce it. Its a power trip in my opinion.

Let me ask you what reasons you were flogged for.

1. You were making noise/ disrupting the class ? Does it really require 12 strokes of cane if a teenager is babbling like they always do. A teacher should tell you to keep quiet and send you out of the class if its continuous.

2. You were late to school? Maybe because of hold-up or morning chores that your parents send you to do or maybe you just woke up late? Does it really require you to be flogged?

Even if a child gets into a fight, i still don't know why they should be flogged. They can be punished , suspended, taken to have conflict resolution meetings not flogged.

Ok since u need me to school U, I will oblige but once since I know many argue to win and not to learn.
The floggings made me a better person, and yes, I'm better than my peers, came out best in common entrace in my state, the fear of the cane made me desist from petty evil that as at then was no big deal but some couldn't stop, (stealing and lieing mostly among others) I can beat my chest and tell U that I don't lie. My peers will disrespect teachers but I dare not, I can go on but lemme just tell u that all rich kids behavior was present then and remember it was a rich man's school, and I was quite outstanding and disciplined, th teachers loved me and passed knowledge my peers didn't have the opportunity to gain, not academic wise. I should stop here
But above all I am a christian and my bible says spare the rod and spoil the child which would have been my case if the rod was spared
I rest my case

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

what, for real? In your own father's house...
No words*

TheRock5555 you might think your dad doesn't not know bout your your sexual life my Bro he might know ..you can't always hide..like someone said have your dad paid the police to lock you and even the police come begging for you after too days in the cell ? No...
even i after reading some Of your stories i think your dad loves , it only take a lovable father to pay for his son waec exam again after failing,to sow him a trouser which to him was the best...Like someone said he doesn't hate you and you are the problem,change your ways and you will see a new him...

My friend, Your online and offline personality are linked permanently. The online keeps your life record for ever if you don't know.
Why do you think, the FBI and other organization start digging into people's online character once any crime is committed?.

If anyone remotely connected to you carryout any crime or terror attack all his/her online relations are under scrutiny.
Now, let me ask you, if one of your ardent follower online commits rape, do you think your online personality will not be under scrutiny?.

Once, there is any relationship, you will be looked into and if there is any "circumstantial" evidence that your online character help in molding the criminal's offline habit, you may be called in for questioning?.

Many of you youths of today, don't understand that you are a totality of your life, both online and offline character matters!. Criminal psychologists use your online character to predict your offline behaviors!!.

And to common man, first impression (which could be from your online profile) lasts long.!!

Therock5555:


Do you know that an online life and physical life are two huge spams


I showed my dad Nl because he wanted a site to read news and not because he knew I was a member here, he is not even a registered member, he only frequents fp

If you can't decipher all what I've wrote them no P

I'm sure you think all this fierce monikers are lions offline