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Help A Marriage Now Pls - Family - Nairaland

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Help A Marriage Now Pls by Gadols(f): 6:57pm On May 24, 2009
I need an advice for my friend whose wife is hardly at home due to her job. The wife runs her own firm though.
He complained that their sex life is very bad. like 3 times in 2 weeks.
He has decided to have an affair but the dude is asking if that will amount to cheating on his wife.
I feel he shouldnt do that as that wont help matters.
What do you guys think?
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by Nobody: 7:28pm On May 24, 2009
the husband needs to sit down and have a serious conversation with his wife about the issues at hand and how it's affecting his sexual life.
he should also understand that if HE doesnt have sex often then SHE doesnt have sex often either. what is bad for some, might be perfect for others. COMMUNICATION, baby!
there is no such thing as too tired for sex (since laying on your back doesnt require any energy), i would rather rephrase it as"too tired for sex WITH HIM"
the husband should find ways to get his wife "in the mood" by other means, passionate dinners, different bedroom strategy, new and exciting bedroom games etc etc etc
if having an affair is the first choice that this husband has then he is a fool. there are many ways to solve the problem and, having an affair should be the last option.
the husband should be careful for what he wishes for, if he thinks that its ok for HIM to have an affair then he should accept his wife to do the same thing, if needs be.
if the wife has no idea of the husbands feeling and what he wants to do then, YES of course, thats cheating!
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by C2H5OH(f): 8:55pm On May 24, 2009
He has decided to have an affair but the dude is asking if that will amount to cheating on his wife.
grin grin grin
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by Outstrip(f): 3:33am On May 27, 2009
No it's not cheating it is sheating. Does the man work?
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by iyaade: 5:06am On May 27, 2009
MRbrownJAY:

there is no such thing as too tired for sex (since laying on your back doesnt require any energy), i would rather rephrase it as"too tired for sex WITH HIM"
the husband should find ways to get his wife "in the mood" by other means, passionate dinners, different bedroom strategy, new and exciting bedroom games etc etc etc

First off, TOTALLY disagree with that one.

If as a man, she gets on top and you are lying there limp, sex just isn't going to happen, now is it!!?? wink . In no way does a woman just "lay on her back".

@topic

The guy needs to be a man and speak up. Getting sex outside the marriage is only gonna get him off, not get his wife to pay him more attention in bed. The issue is that he's lonely, not sex starved. Sex 3 times every 2 weeks is a bit on the lesser side, but it's not as if he's not getting any at all. He needs to realize that it's not the sex he misses, but the intimacy. And to agree totally with Mr. BrownJay the only way to do that is through COMMUNICATION.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by NoFearNYC(m): 7:26am On May 27, 2009
MrBrownJay is right, it's all about communication.

How long have they been married? 3 times in 2 weeks doesn't sound like[i] a very bad sex life[/i] - but obviously it's not enough for him, so they should discuss it. Maybe a compromise can be reached - twice a week?

Is an affair cheating? HELL TO THE NO, it's just being unfaithful - what planet is your friend from?
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by C2H5OH(f): 7:28am On May 27, 2009
What exactly is being unfaithful, what is cheating, what is being an infidel. It's like we have so many names for something that is obviously not right.

you are a fucking married man in a committed relationship. you should respect your wife and stop looking for a quick fix.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by SeanT21(f): 7:34am On May 27, 2009
Gadols:

I need an advice for my friend whose wife is hardly at home due to her job. The wife runs her own firm though.
He complained that their sex life is very bad. like 3 times in 2 weeks.
[b]He has decided to have an affair but the dude is asking if that will amount to cheating on his wife.[/b]I feel he shouldnt do that as that wont help matters.
What do you guys think?

Umm, Its common sense my friend. embarassed
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by C2H5OH(f): 7:35am On May 27, 2009
SeanT21:

Umm, Its common sense my friend. embarassed
Yeah but common sense is not so common.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by SeanT21(f): 7:37am On May 27, 2009
C2H5OH:

Yeah but common sense is not so common.

TRUE!! wink
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by NoFearNYC(m): 8:02am On May 27, 2009
C2H5OH:

What exactly is being unfaithful, what is cheating, what is being an infidel. It's like we have so many names for something that is obviously not right.

You do realize I was being sarcastic, right?

Cheating is cheating, plain and simple.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by C2H5OH(f): 8:03am On May 27, 2009
No no no don't even budge. I understand you jare. You did raise a good point and I wanted to touch on it.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by nkemokoli: 9:32am On May 27, 2009
pls give me her number, i need to talk sense into her. she has to chose her marriage or job
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by Nobody: 2:33pm On May 27, 2009
iyaade:

First off, TOTALLY disagree with that one.
If as a man, she gets on top and you are lying there limp, sex just isn't going to happen, now is it!!?? wink . In no way does a woman just "lay on her back".

do you speak english?!
THE WIFE is too tired for sex, NOT the husband so what i wrote was about THE WIFE laying on her back. not the husband.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by iyaade: 6:29am On Jun 09, 2009
No point in arguing with you. I was not trying to insult you, so please, if you don't understand what I said, then read it again. I was making reference to the fact that no one can have sex just lying there. It takes some form of mental and physical energy. The whole man analogy is to get you to understand that if a woman is too tired for sex, then just lying there won't make it happen. If you don't understand then I hope at least one man out there will.
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by izeek(m): 9:16am On Jun 09, 2009
sorry but was his wife not running her own firm before they got maerried?
was the sex life boring then too?
i believe the answer is no, so the problem is not the job, its the communication.
tell your friend to talk to the wife and resolve issue.
abi nah u self. lol
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by Gentlelady(f): 12:57pm On Jun 09, 2009
He should talk to his wife about the situation. If she is interested in saving her marriage she will stop being 'too tired' for sex! How can she be too tired to make her partner happy! 3 times in two weeks! I feel for the guy o!
Re: Help A Marriage Now Pls by Fhemmmy: 1:13pm On Jun 09, 2009
The man needs to examine what is important.
A man that has a wife that runz a business and if the business is doing real good and she is bringing the money home, and the husband dey chop the money, and yet giving the man 3 times in 2 weeks, the man should be grateful, and you yet to complain that the woman cooks for him as well, so i think he got a great wife, and should be happy and dont mess it up with an affair.

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