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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff (4343 Views)
Poll: What Do You Think About Phemour's DiaryI Give it a Smile: 19% (4 votes)I Give it a Grin: 28% (6 votes) I Give it a Laugh: 38% (8 votes) Not Funny at All: 0% (0 votes) How I Wish the Diary was Mine: 9% (2 votes) I Love the ALIYAH Part of the Diary: 4% (1 vote) This poll has ended |
If You Dont Laff At This One, Call Me Baskard I Swear!!!!!!! / If You Dont Laff, Then You Be Mumu.....i Swear; Nonsense!!! / If U Dont Laff Call Me Ediotttt!!. (2) (3) (4)
My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 3:25pm On May 31, 2009 |
You all know what we do here. We I'm here to often bring you best of what we do here. [size=5pt]Hail to Mod[/size] [center]Grandma 100 Years Birthday[/center] The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you? Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, They won't let me fart. |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by dani1luv: 4:23pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
Phemour that was Hilarous |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Ben13: 4:28pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
Lol. great joke dani must be set for a copy and paste again |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by dani1luv: 4:33pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
Waeva |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by lordmassac(m): 6:05pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
nice one |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by dani1luv: 7:32pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
Phemour. . Where are you now Remember you promised that Phemour: |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 10:25am On Jun 02, 2009 |
dani1luv:Ok! Ooo [center]School Group Photo[/center] The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'That's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, And there's the teacher; , she's dead. lol [center]Change of Underwear[/center] The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, I've got good news and bad news. First the good news. Today we're going to change our underwear. The troops started cheering at the news. Now the bad news. Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy, |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 7:09pm On Jun 09, 2009 |
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?" The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?" |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 7:41pm On Jun 09, 2009 |
A man came home from work one day and his wife asked him to fix the toilet. The man says "who? do i look like the plumber?" and never fixed it, The man comes home the next day and his wife asks him to fix the garbage disposal. The man says "who? do i look like a blad specialist?" and never fixed it, The man comes home the next day and his wife asks him to fix the refrigerator. The man says "who? do i look like the Maytag repair man?" and never fixed it, man comes home the next day and his wife told him she hired someone to fix the fridge, someone to fix the garbage disposal, and someone to fix the toilet. The man asks his wife "how much did it cost?" His wife says "i had to either bake them a cake or have sex with them." The man asks his wife "what kinda cake did you bake them?" the wife says "who do i look like Betty Crocker?" |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 9:19pm On Jun 09, 2009 |
Employer to Applicant: Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by FELORE(f): 9:49pm On Jun 09, 2009 |
HilariiOus [b] dah last one especially !! [b] |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 10:20am On Jun 10, 2009 |
Patient to Dentist: Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth." Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet." |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Lolabbey: 1:01pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
kip it up femo |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by sylve11: 1:21pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
the guy dey try |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 2:50pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by mykali(m): 2:57pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
cool. i liked the grandma part. |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by sylve11: 3:18pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
and u luv doing bla bla bla wit grandm |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 3:32pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
and u luv doing bla bla bla wit grandmI go smack you head |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 7:02pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
- - - - -
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Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 7:16pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
The boss came early in the morning one day and found an employee kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The employee replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge." |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by mykali(m): 8:07pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
lal. |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Phemour: 8:38pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!" |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Abbygyal(f): 11:26pm On Jun 10, 2009 |
nice jokes mahn! d grandma bit was hilarious |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Libra38: 2:59pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
A guy was employed in a multi-national oil company, his first day in office, he has waited longer than ussual for his launch to be served. So he decided to call the canteen extension, but out of furiouxity he called the M.D's extention. Check out the following conversation. Employee: Can you crazy guys serve me my launch? M.D: You are crazy, do you know whom you are talking to? Employee: No M.D: this is the M.D Employee: Do you know whom you are talking to? M.D: No Employee: o! thank God, and he quitely drop. |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Abbygyal(f): 3:11pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
heard dis b4 still HILARIOUS lmao |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by biola44: 3:22pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by blissieng(f): 3:47pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
does 'launch' get served? or did you mean 'lunch'?? |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Lolabbey: 3:56pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
na u sabi . . .madam sabinus |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by blissieng(f): 3:58pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
you dey find who u go trowey that ya name (wey ya paternal great grand papa) give you abi? do me a favour, look away from me! |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Lolabbey: 4:29pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
see wowo face of blisss |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by blissieng(f): 5:00pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
God took His time wiv me, Beutifully and wonderfully made!! |
Re: My Joke Diary____Please Dont Laff by Abbygyal(f): 5:04pm On Jun 11, 2009 |
lol ics |
Dame Patience Again / When Someone Says Maths Is Easy. / Niggers!
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