Teacher: Dani, you know you can't sleep in my class.
Dani: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

kip it up phemour, i like the one about the man and his fix it wife.

Hey!

This is me and my little niece.

---

PHEMOUR: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

ALIYAH:  He wanted cold hard cash!

PHEMOUR: What do prisoners use to call each other?

ALIYAH: Cell phones.

PHEMOUR: What do you get from a pampered cow?

ALIYAH: Spoiled milk.

PHEMOUR: Where do snowmen keep their money?

ALIYAH: In snow banks.

PHEMOUR: What dog keeps the best time?

ALIYAH: A watch dog.

PHEMOUR: Why did the tomato turn red?

ALIYAH: It saw the salad dressing!

PHEMOUR: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

ALIYAH: It let out a little wine!

PHEMOUR: How do you make a tissue dance?

ALIYAH: Put a little boogey in it!

PHEMOUR: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

ALIYAH: Odor in the court.

PHEMOUR: What did the water say to the boat?

ALIYAH: Nothing, it just waved.

PHEMOUR: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

ALIYAH: Dam!

PHEMOUR: Why don't skeletons fight each other?

ALIYAH: They don't have the guts.

PHEMOUR: What has four legs but can't walk?

ALIYAH: A table!

PHEMOUR: Why did the turtle cross the road?

ALIYAH: To get to the Shell station!

PHEMOUR: What did the ground say to the earthquake?

ALIYAH: You crack me up!

PHEMOUR: Why did the elephant eat the candle?

ALIYAH: He wanted a light snack!

PHEMOUR: Why is the letter "G" scary?

ALIYAH: It turns a host into a ghost

PHEMOUR: What has  4 eyes but no face?

ALIYAH: Mississippi!

PHEMOUR: What did the spider do on the computer?

ALIYAH: Made a website!

PHEMOUR: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

ALIYAH: Because 789!

PHEMOUR: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

ALIYAH: Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

PHEMOUR: Why did the sheep say "moo"?

ALIYAH: It was learning a new language!

PHEMOUR: What streets do ghosts haunt?

ALIYAH: Dead ends!

PHEMOUR: What exam do young witches have to pass?

ALIYAH: A spell-ing test!

PHEMOUR: Why did the boy eat his homework?

ALIYAH: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

PHEMOUR: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?

ALIYAH: Because you dribble on the floor!

PHEMOUR: What bow can't be tied?

ALIYAH: A rainbow!

PHEMOUR: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

ALIYAH: Every morning you'll rise and shine!

PHEMOUR: What does a teddy bear put in his house?

ALIYAH: Fur-niture!

PHEMOUR: What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?

ALIYAH: Betty!

PHEMOUR: Where do cows go on holiday?

ALIYAH: Moo York

PHEMOUR: Where did the computer go to dance?

ALIYAH: To a disc-o.

PHEMOUR: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

ALIYAH: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

PHEMOUR: Why was the guy looking for the food on his friend?

ALIYAH: Because his friend said its on me.

---

BRB with Part Two Little Aliyah is drowsy.    

Have this as Aliyah is still sleeping

---

A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."

"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".

Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that, it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead." After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend,
Leroy

Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat), so he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Your Truly,
Leroy

Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?

Leroy

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the Likes. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike!

Sincerely,
You know who

---

LOL.

Hilariously Hilarious ! !! ! nice 1

This Phemour guy is craaaaaaaazy!!!

Where do you get all this stuff from? Keep it up guy.

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase.

Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.

Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an Act of God!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"

DAAAAAAAAAAMN never had a good laff in months like where the hell ar u from phemour i've really missed the joke section and i think i will stay with u dere.keep it up bro.luvd the grandma and the little kidnapper probably he is from warri.

DAAAAAAAAAAMN never had a good laff in months like where the hell ar u from phemour i've really missed the joke section and i think i will stay with u dere.keep it up bro.luvd the grandma and the little kidnapper probably he is from warri.

is only that my wedding preparation wouldn't allow you to enjoy me more

You're invited
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-286506.0.html#msg4069377

romade:

Having children is an Act of God!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them

first of all who say mak you post joke here? if you wan make joke create your own thread.

n why you go bring my diary out. . . . .you must pay for this, ole

Bo the thread no b urs 

the copyright owner is here! oya all of una fileeeee!

i will

femo lala keep it up

nice jokes. i neva finish reading the joke sef

spenchuks:

nice jokes. i neva finish reading the joke sef

enjoy them

@joke, i cant stop laughing. guy u are too much.

keep it coming and leave romade alone. after all, romade jokes don finish

chei dis is a knockout punch on Romade

lmao

see ur face

lyk say he chop pepper

how u take know? abi u don chop pepper b4?

those are cool jokes can we have more