Phemour:

BRB with Part Two Little Aliyah is drowsy.    

Aliyah woke up this morning n all she want is to ask her Question like the Ex-day

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PHEMOUR: Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

ALIYAH: They wear snow caps.

PHEMOUR: Why did the balloon burst?

ALIYAH: Because it saw a lolly pop!

PHEMOUR: Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?

ALIYAH: Because he wasn't very hungry.

PHEMOUR: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?

ALIYAH: Buccaneer

PHEMOUR: When is a car not a car?

ALIYAH: When it turns into a garage.

PHEMOUR: If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a baby, who would be the biggest of the three?

ALIYAH: The baby, because he's a little Bigger!

PHEMOUR: What did the carpet say to the floor?

ALIYAH: "You go ahead I'll cover you"

PHEMOUR: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

ALIYAH: He wanted to get to the second-hand shop!

PHEMOUR: What flower grows on your face?

ALIYAH: Tulips

PHEMOUR: What is a computer's favorite dance?

ALIYAH: Disk-o

PHEMOUR: Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?

ALIYAH: He wanted to make up his mind!

PHEMOUR: What kind of ship never sinks?

ALIYAH: Friendship!

PHEMOUR: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

ALIYAH: Stop going in circles and get to the point!

PHEMOUR: Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?

ALIYAH: Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!

PHEMOUR: Why did the computer squeak?

ALIYAH: Because someone stepped on it's mouse

PHEMOUR: What did one earthquake say to another?

ALIYAH: It's not my fault!

PHEMOUR: What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?

ALIYAH: A sour puss!

PHEMOUR: Why do cows have bells?

ALIYAH: Because their horns don't work!

PHEMOUR: What has 4 wheels and flies?

ALIYAH: A Garbage truck

PHEMOUR: How do you tease fruit?

ALIYAH: Banananananananana!

PHEMOUR: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?

ALIYAH: Because he wanted to work over-time!

PHEMOUR: Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?

ALIYAH: Because he wanted to see time fly!

PHEMOUR: When do you stop at green and go at red?

ALIYAH: When you're eating a watermelon!

PHEMOUR: How did the farmer mend his pants?

ALIYAH: With cabbage patches!

PHEMOUR: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?

ALIYAH: Because it makes you break out!

PHEMOUR: What do you call artificial spaghetti?

ALIYAH: Mockaroni!

PHEMOUR: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?

ALIYAH: He couldn't concentrate!

PHEMOUR: How do you repair a broken tomato?

ALIYAH: Tomato Paste!

PHEMOUR: Why did the baby strawberry cry?

ALIYAH: Because his parents were in a jam!

PHEMOUR: What did the hamburger name his daughter?

ALIYAH: Patty!

PHEMOUR: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?

ALIYAH: A deviled egg!

PHEMOUR: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?

ALIYAH: A turkey!

PHEMOUR: What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?

ALIYAH: A stomach-cake!

PHEMOUR: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

ALIYAH: He felt crummy!

PHEMOUR: When does a cart come before a horse?

ALIYAH: In the dictionary!

PHEMOUR: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

ALIYAH: She couldn't control her pupils!

BRB with Part Three

Aliyah is Famished . . . .need to be feeded

nice jokes, keep it up

Hey! dey dont temme keep it up

Hi Phemour,
your jokes are nice and very funny.
keep it up!
ciao,

Keep it up again?

Phemour:

Keep it up again?

lol, keep it down then

you make senseless. . . . .keep it up

wooow phemour
nice joke keep it up

Keep it up again?

pls keep it down, that thing hardly stays straight

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her-"Hello" "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you".

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her. "Which word?" the woman asked. "Love." The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you", the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.

"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word", the woman told him. "Which word?", her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakia."

Lol. I like dis boy nor be small

Women's English Dictionary

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you slowpoke!


You're , so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??


Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead


MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!


You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to handle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?


I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!


Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay

Pregnancy Question

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

nice diary omo iya phemour

Why are you grinin?

you chop loto?

Hi Phemour,

nice jokes, well done

keep it up!!

fnx for no laffing

He said u shud, ko soke

ok