my hubby is cheating on me,He even let his mistress live in our home though a big compound but different quarters. and he said that if I don't like it that am free to give him a divorce. I fought for him but I see his mind is with the girl so I give up. I just stay because I have 5kids all boys.I can't leave them. so I focus on my children while he and his mistress do there things. but what I don't understand is that any time I want to go out he insist that someone must accompany me.He never allows me to go out alone.I have been obeying this order till one day I try to break it I told him I was going to the saloon,I left without any of his guard because I feel caged I really wanted to have my freedom. I really wanted to fight back.I only go out once in a month to visits my friends. he stoped all my employment opportunities I had. on my way back home I notice a car has been tailing on me.it was my husband knowing that I left alone he came after me. when we got home hell lose he was so mad at me that he wanted to kill me that day.after that he went back to his mistress. I wanted to go to the site he was building a house which I notice that any time I said I will go there he keep objecting that day my car broke down since he was going there too I wanted to join him in his car but he rebuke me.left with his mistress. I told him that I must come there through taxi and alone. that day I did not go.the same thing happen today and I have already told him that I will go there tomorrow he didn't say anything.Should I go or not?

What's the big deal about going to see the building project? U need to know ur priorities in life... one thing u should know is that a cheat hates being cheated on. They are the highest hypocrites in this world. My advice for u, focus on urself & ur kids since it's obvious u just can't win the heart & respect of ur husband.

Fp pls! Lalasticlala

Even though you fell short of saying it, it looks safe to infer that he exercises brute physical force on you too. Poor you.

Too, I am sure he has his own version of this story but I believe you are certainly unhappy.

Now, that is the angle I want to focus on: your happiness.

NO ONE is paid to make you happy, no, not even your best comedians. It is your responsibility to make yourself so. Hard to grasp as it may be, if being separated is what will give you happiness, you must keep that option alive.

'Your man' is no doubt insecure. That is his headache (maybe if he creates a thread here asking for help about that, we can see to it).

Stop fighting and struggling to prove a point. Just ignore them as if they don't exist. Let them see you as happy; start talking to old friends, make new friends, even when you are not going anywhere, 'baff' up, smell good, chat on whatsapp with friends, ... Come alive! Stop whining! Stop looking at the odds- see the chances. Shower your children with love not bitterness and slowly brace for an exit plan.

'pasan t'afi nayale wa laja'

It Might Be Love Maybe trying to protect you but to me that punishment not love....

[size=18pt]in order news......[/size]

See Nigeria Woman With No Vag!na That Gives Birth To A Baby Girl (Photos) https://www.nairaland.com/2783885/nigeria-woman-no-vag-na

Only Jesus can Save..


U wouldn't wanna leave ur kids or his money..


So I don't have anything to tell u Madam

gabinogem:
What's the big deal about going to see the building project? U need to know ur priorities in life... one thing u should know is that a cheat hates being cheated on. They are the highest hypocrites in this world. My advice for u, focus on urself & ur kids since it's obvious u just can't win the heart & respect of ur husband.

thank you

The fact that he keeps stalking u is obvious he still loves u. I advice u not to go against him for now. Beg him with every little trick you have left in you to allow u to start working no matter how small you start. Buh you should know that you can't dothis without God. Go to God, cry to Him beg him to restore your marriage. mind u, u don't have to go to church in order to pray cos your husband might not oblige. Pray and while praying, try as much as u can to be calm and obedient and ignore them if need be.







May God see you through

BTT:
Even though you fell short of saying it, it looks safe to infer that he exercises brute physical force on you too. Poor you.

Too, I am sure he has his own version of this story but I believe you are certainly unhappy.

Now, that is the angle I want to focus on: your happiness.

NO ONE is paid to make you happy, no, not even your best comedians. It is your responsibility to make yourself so. Hard to grasp as it may be, if being separated is what will give you happiness, you must keep that option alive.

'Your man' is no doubt insecure. That is his headache (maybe if he creates a thread here asking for help about that, we can see to it).

Stop fighting and struggling to prove a point. Just ignore them as if they don't exist. Let them see you as happy; start talking to old friends, make new friends, even when you are not going anywhere, 'baff' up, smell good, chat on whatsapp with friends, ... Come alive! Stop whining! Stop looking at the odds- see the chances. Shower your children with love not bitterness and slowly brace for an exit plan.

'pasan t'afi nayale wa laja'

honestly am not happy, I can't avoid them I see them everyday. the most painful is that this mistress has done so many things to get at me but I keep ignoring her.
thank you I will heed to your advice

Nkasiobi87:

honestly am not happy, I can't avoid them I see them everyday. the most painful is that this mistress has done so many things to get at me but I keep ignoring her.
thank you I will heed to your advice

You're just 28 years old, do you plan to live the next 40 years of your life like this?. Is it his money keeping you tied down?. Or are you just scared that if you leave, you'll never get back on your feet?. Sometimes, Life isn't just fair to you, but guess what, Life isn't fair to anybody either. Your husband has flagrantly desecrated all marital vows, and its up to you to decide if you can swallow this hook line and sinker. You still have your immediate family, if finance is your biggest fear, they should be able to help you get back on your feet; you probably may stil have good friends you made in the past, seek their assistance. Above all, please strive to be happy; One day, you'd be an old woman lying on your death bed, do you want to remeber your own life as being miserable and loveless, all because you couldn't take that giant leap of faith?. Remember, your happiness comes first.

For me, I say u seperate before he kills you....

What kind of man is that

Hmm..ma'am are you a Christian? If yes u must go back on your knees to God. You have been too quiet & slow in this marriage, are there no relatives of his to talk to or they were also in support of him? Are your kids still little? You really need a job whether he likes it or not because sooner or later if things continue like this second madam may ORDER him to throw u out, haba why are some men so shallow in thinking to forget hw their wives stood by them when the going was rough (rhetoric).

The only problem you have is that you are super dependent on him......

both financially and otherwise. the man is the luckiest man I have ever read about. marrying a submissive wife. hmmmm!!!

sit!!! you sat!!!
Go by taxi!!!!, you obey
never go out alone!!!!! yes sir......

And he got a mistress under your very nose.. I do not like women that love to be full time housewife, no matter how much the money was flowing into your account, get something doing. He has already reduce you to nothing. you are now nothing to him now. except maybe when he feel like it he might refer you as the mother of his children. without him, you cannot feed your self. and that alone scares you.... . not that you cannot live him because you have thought it through that what will you be doing if you live? no job nothing....

Why not throw caution to the wind and start looking for a job. that alone will reduce a little bit of the humiliation you are facing in that house. Don't just seat and say he has destroy all the chance you have of getting a job......

And what is this nonsense about going to inspect a building project......? what are you going there to do when he has picked his preference, and even if you have to go which i see no reason why, Can't you go when your husband and the new madam is not there at the site, so that you can have your sanity........

Sorry to say this but your kind of humility is nerve-wrecking to me. really really annoying.....

Nonsense man

Just came to read comments

You again?

And this so called man is a man of God. Ladies before u rush blindly into marriage without no job or business doing. u beta think. How u wish u were single right now at jst 28 see wat u are facing. If u die today ur kids will suffer from d mistress hand

You want my candid advise? File for a divorce, you would be better off on your own than being made a prisoner in your marital home. Yes you have 5kids for him, custody and upkeep for the kids would be sorted out, believe me, you would make it. Raising kids in such an environment could bring out the beast in them and make them take after their dad, unleashing more women oppressors into the society. He is playing on your insecurities by calling your bluff on a divorce. His mistress even lives in the same compound? Jeez! what other prompting do you need?
My advice is based on the fact that I can't accept being a substitute or being a second class citizen, am too good to be that

Ok..End time marriage..

Look for a job and be prayerful

pinceprinz:
Fp pls! Lalasticlala

SHE ASKED FOR ADVICR YET YOU CAN'T GIV HER AND YOUR SHOUTING FP, DID SHE ASK FOR THAT? MEAN WHILE OP DON'T YOU HAVE SIBLINGS OR LOVED ONES YOU CAN TELL YOUR ORDEAL WHO CAN COME INTO THIS MATTER, DON'T KNOW UR AGE BT FROM THE WAY YOU SOUND, YOU STILL SEEM YOUNG WHICH AM SURE HE STILL SCARED OF LOSING YOU CUS HE KNOWS THAT'S WHAT ANOTHER LADY WILL DO, TO LIVE HIM SINCE HIS NOT MAKING YOU HAPPY..TRY AND GET A JOB CUS HE MIGHT VENT THE ANGER ON THOSE BOYS BY NOT PTOVIDING FOR THEIR NEEDS...DON'T THINK HE CAN'T CUS HIS MISTRESS IS IN CONTROL NOW AND SHE CAN DO ANYTHING, SO PLS GET A JOB SO YOU IL B OCCUPIED AND B FREE FROM THE PAIN YOU GO THROUGH EVERYDAY..ALL THE BEST

foo*ls everywhere ..

m sure you had no complaints when things were rosy

you must have had pre-wedding shoots and all that with the useless animal

SMH

@Nkasiobi87 care to shed more light on a few issues, if you may:

- do you have anything of value apart from these 5 boys (education/job/property etc)?
- with kidnappings everywhere in Nigeria, why do you think its wrong having a security guard at all times with you?
- if you "really" want freedom then why dont you DIVORCE the man and be free?!
- why are you hellbent on visiting his new house?! obviously thats for him and the mistress

MRBrownJ:
@Nkasiobi87 care to shed more light on a few issues, if you may:

- do you have anything of value apart from these 5 boys (education/job/property etc)?
- with kidnappings everywhere in Nigeria, why do you think its wrong having a security guard at all times with you?
- if you "really" want freedom then why dont you DIVORCE the man and be free?!
- why are you hellbent on visiting his new house?! obviously thats for him and the mistress

yea I do have education, am an accountan.his reason for the security is that he don't want me to speak with any other man.divorce I have put that in my options. I really need to be happy.

Nkasiobi87:

yea I do have education, am an accountan.his reason for the security is that he don't want me to speak with any other man.divorce I have put that in my options. I really need to be happy.

therefore i will suggest:
- try to find gainful employment, so that you can be freed from this man's hold.
- if/when you get a job, and then divorce, you can ultimately do as you please in this union.
- as long as you are married and living off of this monster, you must do as he please (so DO AS HE SAYS, NOT AS HE DOES)

adult wahala......am out

btw marriage is so overrated

Divorcing a man like dis one can b harmful to u. He might abuse u more, maybe he might make sure dat u never see yo kids or he might do something silly. So if u wana divorce him, make sure u do everything legally, so dat u share de custody of de kids. Or stay and b submisive for life. Dat guy is abusing u and he is taking advantage coz it seem he is de main financial provider

misspicy:
adult wahala......am out

btw marriage is so overrated

it is overrated when you are with the wrong person...people like mercy johnson & annie idibia will never agree to such...Find the right person & marriage become(s) a blessing to you.

shit happens in some marriage

danbrowndmf:
it is overrated when you are with the wrong person...people like mercy johnson & annie idibia will never agree to such...Find the right person & marriage become(s) a blessing to you.

okay sir.....


but women suffer alot in the name of marriage...am sure those people you mentioned are only hiding whatever they are suffering

everything about marriage lies on the woman,if husband vex,she must pet him,if husband no eat she must beg him,if husband no want something she must obey....bros marriage is overrated

am sure i will marry to fulfil all righteousness because d day i told my mum i wont marry she wan cry her eyes out

misspicy:

okay sir.....


but women suffer alot in the name of marriage...am sure those people you mentioned are only hiding whatever they are suffering

everything about marriage lies on the woman,if husband vex,she must pet him,if husband no eat she must beg him,if husband no want something she must obey....bros marriage is overrated

am sure i will marry to fulfil all righteousness because d day i told my mum i wont marry she wan cry her eyes out

All the guys who have shattered ur heart has made believe marriage fault lies on women...secondly u'v been opportune to only see women whose marriage has failed..definately no one is perfect...The women i called earlier on has one or two issues in there marriage..the ability to sort it out before getting to the 3rd ear is what makes it a perfect relationship..misspicy u'v been dwelling in d wrong part of marriage abeg...or ur dad divorce ur mum? Have seen soooooo many marriage that really inspire me to get marry so early...And who ever say the woman will always pet his husband?. Have been in a relationship where i pet the hell out of my girlfriend even when am right...to many wrong men has visited ur life and u assume or take everyman like them...Marriage is a beautiful thing stop thinking like all these girls who cannot even buy ordinary always for there self..they come out here & start yelling nonsense about marriage been overrated.na them go 1st marry sef once the opportunity knocks on the door.

danbrowndmf:
All the guys who have shattered ur heart has made believe marriage fault lies on women...secondly u'v been opportune to only see women whose marriage has failed..definately no one is perfect...The women i called earlier on has one or two issues in there marriage..the ability to sort it out before getting to the 3rd ear is what makes it a perfect relationship..misspicy u'v been dwelling in d wrong part of marriage abeg...or ur dad divorce ur mum? Have seen soooooo many marriage that really inspire me to get marry so early...And who ever say the woman will always pet his husband?. Have been in a relationship where i pet the hell out of my girlfriend even when am right...to many wrong men has visited ur life and u assume or take everyman like them...Marriage is a beautiful thing stop thinking like all these girls who cannot even buy ordinary always for there self..they come out here & start yelling nonsense about marriage been overrated.na them go 1st marry sef once the opportunity knocks on the door.

kikikiki contrary to what you think I have lived with different couples who have been.living peacefully for years,I understand the ups and downs of marriage too...

but my point is,the woman is like a slave in the marriage with enuf evidences kwa,take for example the post on this thread,husband marry anoda wife,and does not care about his main wife again yet he is trailing her up and down,no freedom nothing,and she has no right to complain after all he is her Lord and husband,he bought her with her bride price besides she has 5 kids already,how can she cope alone with 5 children or which mother in her right sense will abandon 5 children?....the woman is stuck already

seriously i dnt feel like typing about marriage tonight

and yes marriage is overrated once again and its only society and family pressures that are forcing most people to marry