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Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed - Romance - Nairaland

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Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:15pm On Dec 06, 2015
Dear NLders, i will just go straight to the the point.... This is a real life fact that happen just yesterday.

Its kinda lengthy but i will be breaking them into parts for clearer picture

There is this lady that I've been dating for the past 2yrs (2013 to be precise).
Well, it was lately middle of this year that she finally accepted to be in a relationship with me.
Let me also point out some prior issues;
* We are both students (Am in Uni currently in my 300level, while she's enrolled in one of the College of health Science and Technology)
* The relationship is a LONG DISTANT TYPE affairs.. (i make sure i check & balance communication between us, gave here all i have within my capacity as a student)
* Our age differences aint that much (let's say a year difference. Well, me see AGE as just a number)
* I have never had a negative or doubtful mindset towards her
* I don't discuss our relationship with any 3rd parties, so as to avoid negative advice from people which might be making me have two minds about her. (HONEST SINCERITY).

Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Nobody: 4:16pm On Dec 06, 2015
I stop reading when i read the part when u said, u have been dating her for two years and she agreed to be in a relationship with u this year.


Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:17pm On Dec 06, 2015
Well, i truly love her so much that I find it hard to even xplain myself. Coupled with the starred FACTORS above & othe minor differences, i still try within my ability to make sure those lists above are never a challenge.

This girl am talking about is truly a wifee material & I have made it clear to her that am going to marry her immediately i finish my programme in sch & secure a good job that will be Ok for a start of LIFE between the both of us.
I travel to see her on regular basis. Also, I make her my priority in anything I do..( i call a spade, a spade to her. I have never thought of cheating on her. Gave her the maximum TRUST 100% to the xtent that she can easily kill me)
There is nothing she has ever wanted that i don't give to her (cash, love, care, trust, loyalty, time etc). I ve Never in life & for ones denied her of anything.
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:19pm On Dec 06, 2015
Fast forward to the present time;
Lately two months ago, she started behaving strange (Chats reduced drastically on whatsapp, if i call her, she sounds as if am disturbing her peace & all manners of silly changes).
Eventually, she opened up & gave me a silly reason for HER STRANGE BEHAVIOURS lately towards me. (as a mumu & juu boy na, I apologized & things fell back on track.)
Everything starting going well again not until her robbers attacked her & roommates, carted away with her mobile phone, money etc... (it was her brother broke the robbery news to me. Though, i noticed for the past two days after the incidence, her line was not going through again. I even thought her battery was flat.. *showing sympathy*). I persuaded the Jnr Bro to giv me the number tru which i could reach her. I became restless. Eventually, that night, i got a call with a strange number, picked & quickly i recognised her voice. I became happy & had a settled mind.
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Nobody: 4:20pm On Dec 06, 2015
shocked too long...nobody will be interested to read this...
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:26pm On Dec 06, 2015
Lately, two days ago, something led to something (MATTERS ARISING), her facebook chats got leaked to me.
From the leaked chats, i was able to deduce that;
+++ there was a lecturer in her school really stalking on hEr who also wants to be in a relationship with her, (age of lecturer 58yrs). The old man was busy calling her MY LUV, SWEETHEART etc. Well, she was taking the lecturer to be her "DADDY". Whenever the OLD MAN called her such ROMANTIC NAMES, telling her how he feels whenever she is with him(OLD MAN feeling like bobo).
she reciprocated by calling him "DADDY" (not forgetting the fact that she's now visiting the OLD MAN as home & in office)...
Well, i must be sincere, i finally then came across a chat between her and the OLD MAN which reads:
OLD MAN=>There is something i will like to tell you. Maybe 2mrw. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART, SLEEP WELL
MY GIRL=> I LOVE YOU TOO. Sleep tight(immediately i saw this, my head rang Like China Phone, & later kept calm believing she can't have anything to do with 58yrs old man. Just trying to appease the OLD MAN like a yoruba saying which says "KIWON PE WERE NI OKO IYAWO, KOLE JE KA RI AYE SE TIWA"wink
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Nobody: 4:28pm On Dec 06, 2015
Hope you are not expecting us to read your inconsequential tales sha.
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by hexy40: 4:31pm On Dec 06, 2015
Walk away, or keep stressing ur self... u tried ur best
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Kingsasian(m): 4:48pm On Dec 06, 2015
Op, almost everyone in a long distance relationship encounter such things and most of the problems comes from the ladies. I was once in your shoes and it crashed for just no reason best known to her. You will be alright with time but it will not be easy.
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Patented: 4:49pm On Dec 06, 2015
Bad Grammar Convoluted story telling........well sha maga no pay....walk away
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:49pm On Dec 06, 2015
+++ she truly loves me in return.
+++ she was convinced by the same adviser that AGE DIFFERENCE will be a factor between us but thank God that am older than her.
+++ she was been convinced that we won't be faithful to each other. (well, i have never thought of cheating on her as i trusted & loved her & equally belived she could never cheat on me.
+++ she is ready to be in Relationships but commitment is her problem
+++ her strange behavior which i highlighted earlier was as a result of her seeking for advice from people IF its "OK FOR HER TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP" bla bla bla.
She finally gave in into the advice from one the so called advisers, which made her return me to FRIEND ZONE level.
+++ IN GENERAL, ALL THESE ITEMS CHANGEd HER MINDSET towards me. It was during this period that she was seeking for ADVICE & punishing me for no just cost busy chatting on FACEBOOK with OLD MAN 58 & SPECIAL ADVISER while i was at home boored on WhatsApp, no one to chAt with.

After the robbery incident, she then uses her cousin's MTN number to flash me each night, after which i will call her BACK.
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by naijaboiy: 4:50pm On Dec 06, 2015
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:50pm On Dec 06, 2015
Well, i really respected her PRIVACY even though me don't mind if she bounced into my privacy because i see no reason why i should be hiding anything from her.
Note: I DIDN'T HACK HER FACEBOOK ACC, the chat got leaked via an undisclosed means.

Yesterday night, i finally made her to understand that i know the main reason why her strange behaviours towards me. Trying to xplain to her indirectly never to discuss our relationship issue with someone because it will only cause more chaos & harm (having in-mind that she will find out that her privacy got leaked some how to me)...

Here the main action....
As I was still indirectly telling her, (though i knew she was going to find out that her privacy got LEAKED, equally, having it at the back of my mind that i should be prepared for any actions of hers)
She quickly SPARKED AT ME LIKE TRANSFORMER DAT BLEW. Saying all sought of things etc. Accusing me of stealing hacking into her account

She finally then reached a conclusion that "YESTERDAY'S CALL WILL BE THE LAST CALL SHE WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN", etc (all those yama yama stories).
Though, after all her stories & all, i couldn't sleep comfortably, busy thinking how far i ve tried within my capacity to maintain the challenges of long distance relationship...
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by coolgee26(m): 4:51pm On Dec 06, 2015
The last & Final part

Today been Sunday, d same babe dat said she won't call me again sent me two sms 2day

Well, my question(s) now is/are:
1) did i take the right decision indirectly telling her the implications of seeking for Relationship tips from people?
2) why would she just end a relationship that I have builded on TRUST & PLIGHT OF LOVE for just FACEBOOK LEAK CHAT SAGA (supposing i even breached into her account). Do not 4get dat she knows 70% everything about me. (guess dats a grade "A" for university students)
3) do you guys think its safe for me to continue such a relationship with her... Though i truly love her
Re: Hi Guys, Your Candid Perspective Needed by Nobody: 4:57pm On Dec 06, 2015
Young man
For God's and Your Family's sake For the sake of YOUR future
Face your studies na!!!

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