There happen to be some misunderstandings between me and my wife coupled with the fact that there was financial challenges on my side,hence the two reasons for giving ourselves break as in temporal separation for some months so that we can figure out what used to cause misunderstandings and quarrel and for things to normalize before we start living together again,so she went to stay with the parents.However,we get united again last week as in she coming back and we start living together.When i wanted to touch her as in love making,she keep on turning it down,i was suprised how after missing each other for some months does it mean she doesnt has sexual feeling.The more i keep making advances,the more she is rejecting and i begin to think whats is wrong.She was giving difference excuses,later she said she dont know to do and how to tell me this and that it is disturbing her and cant allow that we make love as her conscience and what could be the consequence is disturbing her.I told her to tell me what it is,she finally said that since we separated till now that she made love with two men.I was shocked,thou i reason she may fall into such because she has a very high sexual drive,that i hardly leave her and travel for more than a month without coming back because of the nature of her body unless i buy intimacy gadgets and keep for her.She said that apart from her high libido,that she has been having the apetite and bearing it and was thing that i have use style and abandoned her as in divorcing her.She pleaded,and i am confused on what to to because our culture has implication on woman commiting adultery but i cant tell my parents otherwise they may say that i sent her packing.I only explained to my elder sister and she said from her knowledge,that she doesnt know much about how our tradition handles such,but since she confessed that i can forgive her,unless she do it again.Thou i am not a saint anyway for i know i have committed adultery since i marry her but i dont know how our tradition handles this matter and i cant tell such to my parents.She begged and begged that even at two days ago,i later fall and made love with her which i said i wont do but i am disturbed.Please what should i do.Advise pls.

Ok.....wait lemme go and ask ogun

If you a christian,forgive..opening up alone and seeking for forgiveness would have nullified whatever effect your tradition may hold.Don't forget,you also confessed to not being a saint too!
Forgive and receive her back!
Never allow such breaks again!

This ur grammar get double k-leg

lovaleenny:
This ur grammar get double k-leg

forget d grammar,but go for advice and opinion.

lovaleenny:
This ur grammar get double k-leg

My sista you nor go understand.. this kyn tin happen to person u still dey expect make im English straight...



erm my brother she has done her own restitution ooo.. she told you she committed adultery, which kyn woman fit do that thing... and i bliv if she wanna continue she wouldn't have told you.... Just forgive her though it gonna be difficult ooo
find out about your tradition issh... and see what you guys can do... you've said it earlier say she nor fit hol body

for the fact she opened up to told you is a prove that she regretted wat she did. that it like dis wat if she neva told you

chai your wife not only bleeped one but two people in a space of months. What if she did it unprotected?. My guy you are in a deep shit and you are not even innocent yourself. 21st century marriage full of rubbish.

mazazatonda:
There happen to be some misunderstandings between me and my wife coupled with the fact that there was financial challenges on my side,hence the two reasons for giving ourselves break as in temporal separation for some months so that we can figure out what used to cause misunderstandings and quarrel and for things to normalize before we start living together again,so she went to stay with the parents.However,we get united again last week as in she coming back and we start living together.When i wanted to touch her as in love making,she keep on turning it down,i was suprised how after missing each other for some months does it mean she doesnt has sexual feeling.The more i keep making advances,the more she is rejecting and i begin to think whats is wrong.She was giving difference excuses,later she said she dont know to do and how to tell me this and that it is disturbing her and cant allow that we make love as her conscience and what could be the consequence is disturbing her.I told her to tell me what it is,she finally said that since we separated till now that she made love with two men.I was shocked,thou i reason she may fall into such because she has a very high sexual drive,that i hardly leave her and travel for more than a month without coming back because of the nature of her body unless i buy intimacy gadgets and keep for her.She said that apart from her high libido,that she has been having the apetite and bearing it and was thing that i have use style and abandoned her as in divorcing her.She pleaded,and i am confused on what to to because our culture has implication on woman commiting adultery but i cant tell my parents otherwise they may say that i sent her packing.I only explained to my elder sister and she said from her knowledge,that she doesnt know much about how our tradition handles such,but since she confessed that i can forgive her,unless she do it again.Thou i am not a saint anyway for i know i have committed adultery since i marry her but i dont know how our tradition handles this matter and i cant tell such to my parents.She begged and begged that even at two days ago,i later fall and made love with her which i said i wont do but i am disturbed.Please what should i do.Advise pls.

hope you are not from any part in benin? Because if you are, save your self your own life and tell your Elders/parents especially if you paid her bride price or a male child is involved ....... .my dear i have seen many repercussions and they weren't funny at all

kristonium:
If you a christian,forgive..opening up alone and seeking for forgiveness would have nullified whatever effect your tradition may hold.Don't forget,you also confessed to not being a saint too!
Forgive and receive her back!
Never allow such breaks again!

my dear, no reason am oooo especially if the op is from benin

Mazazatonda, it's time to move on, bruh. Two men? C'est fini. Even if there wasn't any separation, I believe it was a matter of time before she strayed. Tough luck, Kahn. Shìt happens.

4give her since u'r nt a saint,go 4 std tests,buy vigra or tramadol and fvck d hell out of her

@op, since you committed adultery and your wife committed same. You both are equals and there is no reason to divorce her here. The thing is, you both need to stop extramarital affairs as it can lead both of you to doom. If you contract STI or STD from outside, you infect your partner with it. I guess your major fear now is your tradition the hypocrisy of your tradition is that, it allowed you to cheat but it does not allow the wife because of consequences. Now you married her without telling her about your tradition which I think is quite unfair cuz now she has gone outside and you can't come to terms and explain what your culture says. Although I don't believe in traditions because the only tradition that I know is the tradition of Jesus Christ. well if you go ahead to inform your parents about your wife's infidelity due to tradition, do not forget to include yourself too.

If you do not have children and you feel that you cannot forgive her fully and move on from this, then you need to divorce her.

If you have children. Forgive and forget and suck it up and stay for the kids. That's what women do!

confess your sins too and you both should resolve not to cheat again. pray God forgives you two if u believe and don't ever give room for separation again cos sex is a hobby to many though never included in a CV.

fem29:
If you do not have children and you feel that you cannot forgive her fully and move on from this, then you need to divorce her.

If you have children. Forgive and forget and suck it up and stay for the kids. That's what women do!

I like this part..."That's what women do"...
The reasonable ones STAY for the kids.
It takes strong folks to confess to such things especially when they know the cons.
Forgive her if you can not because people say you should.
You are wearing the shoes bro and you have done things WITHOUT confessing.

From your write up, you
-you have been committing adultery ie cheating on your wife during marriage whilst your wife endured all of your bulls hit. Abi you think what you have been doing is watching TV?
- You, Mr Moral Police, Mr high and mighty separated from your wife.

-Wife starts seeing Man 1, doesn't work out neither does Man 2 WHILST separated....NOT during the marriage o. If we were to find out you have probably been with more than 5 babes since marriage excluding the ones you were digging during your separation o

-You, Mr defender of morality reconciles wt wifey who tells u about her previous relations during separation and you don't only report her to your sister, you report her to the world via the world wide Web and then still sleep with her.

Yet u complain about culture?? Where was the culture when you repeatedly defiled ur marital vows ? Do you know a Husband's role is to Protect n provide?
Please explain how you have protected your wife with ur actions above.
You are a disgrace of a man and don't deserve that woman.

FYI- What your wife did wasn't adultery because you were no longer together. And clearly men still find her attractive if she could be in 2 relationships during separation
So pls do us all a favour, make up ur mind so that wifey can move on with her life if you are unable to grasp the concept of marriage

Let me get you well, you are worried about the consequences of your wife sleeping out without any remorse or concern for the consequences of you equally sleeping out.

Oga titus, your tradition must be a wicked and biased one for encouraging men to cheat whereas women are to be placed on firing squared.

If you need a balanced and blessed home, seat your wife down and equally apologies for cheating while the both of you should remedy the situation by being committed to your marriage and ensure you make it work.

Can't help but wonder what type of man allows his wife to leave their home to her parents just because they are having issues.

You need to confess to her too about your own indiscretions. Maybe both of you can forgive each other with intentions of never straying again.
And then work on it from there.

It is wellll...the one thing that kept jumping at me is your big heart. Pls forget tradition and make your union work. It is indeed well.

lovaleenny:
This ur grammar get double k-leg


Modified: if this is true...i humbly suggest u divorce her,she has a high libido and she doesn't have respect for you or your union and her indulgence will only affect you the more...some women have high libido but they don't cheat,they rada buy Love Machine till d tym dey meet their husband...

so he is the one that respected her by committing adultery he refused to confess abi? so his sorry excuse is to hide behind some archaic culture that protects only the men abi? so Mr OP have you asked your parents if there is punishment for you that first cheated on her? that should be the first thing to tell your parents before her own

I love women with high sex drive. . . . .kai! walahi!

Your wife is not the only guilty one here. You sat there while she begged you when you know damn well you're guilty of the same offence. You've got no conscience. You better go apologize to her for cheating.
Besides, what kind of useless tradition has repercussions for the woman but none for a man that committed the same offence?

Rubbish!

mazazatonda:
There happen to be some misunderstandings between me and my wife coupled with the fact that there was financial challenges on my side,hence the two reasons for giving ourselves break as in temporal separation for some months so that we can figure out what used to cause misunderstandings and quarrel and for things to normalize before we start living together again,so she went to stay with the parents.However,we get united again last week as in she coming back and we start living together.When i wanted to touch her as in love making,she keep on turning it down,i was suprised how after missing each other for some months does it mean she doesnt has sexual feeling.The more i keep making advances,the more she is rejecting and i begin to think whats is wrong.She was giving difference excuses,later she said she dont know to do and how to tell me this and that it is disturbing her and cant allow that we make love as her conscience and what could be the consequence is disturbing her.I told her to tell me what it is,she finally said that since we separated till now that she made love with two men.I was shocked,thou i reason she may fall into such because she has a very high sexual drive,that i hardly leave her and travel for more than a month without coming back because of the nature of her body unless i buy intimacy gadgets and keep for her.She said that apart from her high libido,that she has been having the apetite and bearing it and was thing that i have use style and abandoned her as in divorcing her.She pleaded,and i am confused on what to to because our culture has implication on woman commiting adultery but i cant tell my parents otherwise they may say that i sent her packing.I only explained to my elder sister and she said from her knowledge,that she doesnt know much about how our tradition handles such,but since she confessed that i can forgive her,unless she do it again.Thou i am not a saint anyway for i know i have committed adultery since i marry her but i dont know how our tradition handles this matter and i cant tell such to my parents.She begged and begged that even at two days ago,i later fall and made love with her which i said i wont do but i am disturbed.Please what should i do.Advise pls.

lesson for you.... Dnt stay away just for that reason... Dnt you have separate rooms

All comments are highly appreciated.Though for some that are saying that i did the same and hide it,i did not hide it,i confessed to her even before she told me what she did,truly irrespective that i fall into this, i have a conscience and know that what i did was wrong and that was one of the reasons that made me to be considering her because she opened it and i did same thing as well.It would have been a different story if she had lied over it or i found out myself.However,culturally,the consequences of a man or a woman committing adultery differs according to tradition and a married woman committing such is the worst in many traditions which many of us know.I am very sure that a lot of married men and women reading this post may have communicated adultery and are still committing it and wanted to learn from their experience on how they handled it,though i am also aware that majority that even commits such on regular basis may not open up here and share their experience and advice,but i see nothing to hide here as this is a faceless forum where we learn a lot from peoples experience.

LastProphet:


so he is the one that respected her by committing adultery he refused to confess abi? so his sorry excuse is to hide behind some archaic culture that protects only the men abi? so Mr OP have you asked your parents if there is punishment for you that first cheated on her? that should be the first thing to tell your parents before her own

Ooh he cheated didn't read dt part...when a story is filled with grammatical errors one finds it hard to understand

You both defiled your marital bed. You need to both test to see that none of you are bringing back any STD. If cleared forgive each other and move on.

It's always funny when I hear people talk about tradition and how it deals with cheating wife's. Do people actually believe it. Well I have a suggestion. If it these things actually work, then we could put it to good use and use it to check out thieving politicians instead of making them declare their assets, we could use tradition to make them die if they steal.

kristonium:
If you a christian,forgive..opening up alone and seeking for forgiveness would have nullified whatever effect your tradition may hold.Don't forget,you also confessed to not being a saint too!
Forgive and receive her back!
Never allow such breaks again!

How old are you? Are you a toddler?

JayJohnson:


How old are you? Are you a toddler?

I won't consider this as an insult but I should be older than u in age and wisdom!

kristonium:

I won't consider this as an insult but I should be older than u in age and wisdom!

Really? And you are thinking like a toddler! I blame tecno that allowed every Tom, Dick and Harry on the internet!