Fellow nairalanders,
I have a teething problem or what appears to be a teething problem to me and i need advice and inputs for like they often say," two good heads are better than one"
I started dating my fiancee around or about march 07, and the relationship was rosy, introduced her to members of my family and they all accepted her and my mum loved her like a daughter.
I had just finished secondary school then and was processing my university admission to study Business Admin. She stood by me and was faithful and obedient and together we started a business she had to quit her sales girl job to manage since she is an SSCE holder and her parents were not ready to further her studies.
I had issues with my Dad cos we had two different dreams , he wanted a lawyer out of me while i loved business hence my decision to study Bus Admin. This didnt go down well with him so he disowned me and i didnt care much about it as my mind was made up.
She stood by my side and we went thru thick and thin together. 3 years into the relationship i started seeing signs of stubbornness in her as in she has a mind of her own and she disobeyed most of my instruction since i had to concentrate on my school and my other business i allowed it slid while considering her good side also.
It got worse to a point i had to beat her and that was it . i regretted beating her and sworn never to touch her her again.
To God be the glory i graduated, and went to serve in the northern part of the country Kaduna state to be precise. It was favourable, i got retained after service and i worked for 1 year before i decided not to continue and came to Lagos were i got another job i am currently managing even though the salary is low.
The problem is for 3 years we have not spent more than a week together and we have become so far from each other than we stay weeks without calling each other and i wont lie my love for her has greatly diminished. I am not in another relationship outside her, but her altitude is getting on my nerves and she wants marriage by all means, which i might not be able to afford at the moment cos of certain issues i need to take care of such as saving enough money to set her up in business, etc.
Since it became obvious there will be no marriage this year, she has changed so much that i dont even understand her anymore. If its not night vigil, its quarreling and nothing i say enters her ear. And all we do these days is fight and she starts it because she knows i hate to fight with her. I have thought about quitting the relationship because i cant continue like this. But people wont understand cos they will say i dumped her after she has laboured and suffered with me, now that she is supposed to enjoy. What do i do? i am so so confused, i cant continue like this. Please advice me. Thanks.

Didn't read but 2 much jedi jedi and jekuje is not gud for you @ all

She passed through hell for u,bro

Girls got marriage issues just give her time.

That is what you get when u disobey your parents because of a Lady because I blv she was part of the story that made u turn down your dad.

First settle with your dad before treating woman issue

well i cant advise you to marry her beaches the.marriage will fail if she.keeps acting that way, breaking up.is the only option for you. you could also try to sit jet down.and have a heart to heart talk about everything and find out what exactly is her problem, but i doubt that would work.. my opinion though

Nope she was not part of the reason, the reason is simple, my dad wanted a lawyer out of me, i didnt like law i wanted to study business administration my choice and passion. I would have remained unfulfilled and full of regrets if i studied law. Today i am happy i followed my passion. Even though i had to finance my education myself. We have long settled ourselves as we are back as father and son.

agarawu23:
That is what you get when u disobey your parents because of a Lady because I blv she was part of the story that made u turn down your dad.

First settle with your dad before treating woman issue

OK

If she isn't a cheating Lady , u better stay with her because all these ladies are the same no matter how cool they claim to be when u first meet them.

Only a cheating lady I can't tolerate because we all have our disadvantage and you can't expect perfection in human.

I think you caused her recent changes when u beat her.

Take her 2dubai and tell her hw u fell when she disobey u

for the past 3 years we have not spent more than a week together cos of service and job. But recently i went to see her i delta state and for the first day i came which a friday she refused to come see me that night cos wasnt expecting me. I had informed her that i am no longer coming even though we discussed that i ill come for the weekend earlier. So i felt she made other arrangement and could not leave cos i came a bit late. So i slept alone and that was the only time i had cause to feel she was cheating.

agarawu23:
OK

If she isn't a cheating Lady , u better stay with her because all these ladies are the same no matter how cool they claim to be when u first meet them.

Only a cheating lady I can't tolerate because we all have our disadvantage and you can't expect perfection in human.

I think you caused her recent changes when u beat her.

specter:
for the past 3 years we have not spent more than a week together cos of service and job. But recently i went to see her i delta state and for the first day i came which a friday she refused to come see me that night cos wasnt expecting me. I had informed her that i am no longer coming even though we discussed that i ill come for the weekend earlier. So i felt she made other arrangement and could not leave cos i came a bit late. So i slept alone and that was the only time i had cause to feel she was cheating.

OK OK
Now I get your point.

If you are 100% sure she is cheating , I won't advice u to end up with her cos I hate cheating ladies especially if the guy is always there for her.

All she's trying to do is manipulate you into marrying her Asap. And the only problem I see in your post is that you gave her so much power in the relationship, giving in to all her demands, and now that you refuse the marrying this year she upped the reaction she usually give you when both of you fight.

My advice to you is to ignore her completely now, if she brings drama to you demand she leave if she can't make any logical argument.

If you allow this girl without punishing her for this, she will do even worse when you guys are married, so you better start putting your foot on the ground.

pls b strong, I had similar case like yours but the remedy is this, give her some space and she will come to u if she really loves u. women enjoys it when we beg them. whenever she tries to bring up issues, just ignore that & behave normal. don't let her understand your mind anymore. never u hurt yourself because of women for you shall not be comforted. if you give her space & she didn't remorse, just know that another man is fucking your woman.
I distanced my babe & she calmed down in a billion per second.
in fact my babe told me that she doesn't love me again that she has sold her life to the guy she was cheating on me but just as I stopped begging & calling her, she came back to me with full force, now she is as humble as anything.
she is my first ever girlfriend and I'm not fucking her till we get married.
lastly bro, another guy is fucking your woman.
all the best...

she is my first girl friend ever. Perhaps i gave her too much power cos she controlled the business and had access to whatever she wanted. I must have made a mistake by doing that.
Thanks for the wonderful advice. I just hope she is not seeing another man cos it will break me i cant lie to you. And i will never trust a woman again in my life.

chi4ik4:
pls b strong, I had similar case like yours but the remedy is this, give her some space and she will come to u if she really loves u. women enjoys it when we beg them. whenever she tries to bring up issues, just ignore that & behave normal. don't let her understand your mind anymore. never u hurt yourself because of women for you shall not be comforted. if you give her space & she didn't remorse, just know that another man is fucking your woman.
I distanced my babe & she calmed down in a billion per second.
in fact my babe told me that she doesn't love me again that she has sold her life to the guy she was cheating on me but just as I stopped begging & calling her, she came back to me with full force, now she is as humble as anything.
she is my first ever girlfriend and I'm not fucking her till we get married.
lastly bro, another guy is fucking your woman.
all the best...