I'm writing dis in tears, kindly permit if there are some grammatical errors. I had a serious issue which I would like explaining in details, but due to some who won't love reading alot.kindly read well and i kindly need your advice.
My mother died 3 year ago, that was so much sad for me. I had 1 elder brother and sister.. since the death of my mother, My father doesn't care anyway, he pretended has if he was unhappy. He called our attention of his intention of getting married. Though we didn't disputed the fact, we were angry about his decision of getting married so fast. we didn't let that show in our attitude.
Eventually he got married, after the wedding, she behaved well. Just a few months she changed completely.... even after the wedding she doesn't call me, let alone my siblings to ask how they are faring.
Just came back from school, was happy I had another mother who would take a good care of me just as my late mother did.. After welcoming me, she changed.
I discovered she had no caring attitude, and she does believe she is perfect. The first scene I ever experienced was my step mom keeps us hungry until she feels like. There was a day I ate about 12:00midnight. she maltreats me... There was also a day I requested some money from her to get an airtime, but she refuses. I also told her jokingly I want to barber my hair, she turns a deaf ears. She treats us as if we are bastard.
I've bin sick for a month now, she doesn't care, even my father follows anything she says.. She refuses to cook food, even when she knows I'm sick and I'm on mediation.. and without food my drug won't work... Just getting better..

I'm confused, I don't know what to do

ok

How old are u

firstly what's your age? i believe you should make money on your own and pack out of that house if you want to make it in life..

Or poison her... lobatan

My dear. Things can never remain the same, recognize that, and reduce your expectations from them. That way you can take anything they bring to you and still move on with your life happily. I know it is not always easy.

Yesterday night, was when I really showed my angry.... since she failed to give me food at the right time.... I kept quiet.... So then my sister want to meet her to telling her what she does was not good enough... All I just heard in the kitchen was a lot of noise... I went to see what went wrong, later discovered it was my issue they were discussing....
Having heard all dis, I thought dis woman would be silent and apologize,she didn't... then I flee up with angry, we began to exchange words.... because I felt a enough is a enough.... it wouldn't have pained me so well, if my dad had listened to us anytime we had something bothering us. Though I'm not saying I'm perfect. But she should have behaved like a mother..

susubrown:
How old are u

I'm 19

favourmic:
firstly what's your age? i believe you should make money on your own and pack out of that house if you want to make it in life..

Or poison her... lobatan

Still schooling..... Do you say poison..

Honeypot62:


I'm 19

This challenge is the missing clue to your future greatness. Grab it, take the challenge. Independence is calling upon you and it shows that you only have yourself for yourself. Approach life positively end embrace work, not as sales girl but an entrepreneur. Create a niche build it even if it starts with 10 naira. They will look for you to beg you before you turn 25. Don't just misbehave or become an olosho. Good luck! (Not jonathan's goodluck oh) peace!

Let me break it down to you. You are not a child. You are 19. If you are hungry, go into the kitchen and cook or better yet, get your sister to cook.

You dont expect a woman to go into the kitchen to cook for adults. If you want her to treat you like her child then accord her the same respect you ll accord your mother (hard abi?)
I am sure if your mother were alive, you ll not be sitting on your backside expecting her to enter kitchen and cook, wash dishes, clean the house etc.
You say you were angry and exchanging words with her, maka why? thats disrespectful on all accounts .
If she doesnt want to give you money for airtime or to barb your hair why not ask your papa wey born you? abi na she born you?
If you are constantly broke, get a job ie labourer work, start offering extra moral lessons to children in the neighborhood, approach barbing saloons or cybercafes and offer to work for them for a stipend so that you can afford your basics.

You complain that she did not apologise to you/you though she will be silent? Do Nigerian parents apologize to their children? Why are you looking for trouble where there is none.
If your biological father or mother provokes you, you stand and exchange words with them abi? you ll threaten to fight them abi?

You need to get a job or focus on your studies (if you are in school) and stop feeling entitled. Your dad can live his life ANY how he chooses with ANY one he chooses and you must learn to respect that.

Your post reeks of disrespect and self entitlement. The woman is married to your dad and doesnt need your approval and i can bet you, if you carry on the path you are on, it wont be long before your dad chucks you out the house or washes his hands off your welfare. be wise

Honeypot62:


Still schooling..... Do you say poison..

No be me talk am..

You should be glad your step mum came to your life at 19 and not three years of age

Don't fight back you will never win/ in case she poisons your fathers mind not to educate you

Go live with your relatives, siblings, grandparents then only show up to collect school fees

At 19 this shouldn't break you.

Firstly, what's ur age and ur siblings
Secondly, what's is barber my hair

natasha:
Let me break it down to you. You are not a child. You are 19. If you are hungry, go into the kitchen and cook or better yet, get your sister to cook.

You dont expect a woman to go into the kitchen to cook for adults. If you want her to treat you like her child then accord her the same respect you ll accord your mother (hard abi?)
I am sure if your mother were alive, you ll not be sitting on your backside expecting her to enter kitchen and cook, wash dishes, clean the house etc.
You say you were angry and exchanging words with her, maka why? thats disrespectful on all accounts .
If she doesnt want to give you money for airtime or to barb your hair why not ask your papa wey born you? abi na she born you?
If you are constantly broke, get a job ie labourer work, start offering extra moral lessons to children in the neighborhood, approach barbing saloons or cybercafes and offer to work for them for a stipend so that you can afford your basics.

You complain that she did not apologise to you/you though she will be silent? Do Nigerian parents apologize to their children? Why are you looking for trouble where there is none.

You need to get a job or focus on your studies (if you are in school) and stop feeling entitled. Your dad can live his life ANY how he chooses with ANY one he chooses and you must learn to respect that.

Your post reeks of disrespect and self entitlement. The woman is married to your dad and doesnt need your approval and i can bet you, if you carry on the path you are on, it wont be long before your dad chucks you out the house or washes his hands off your welfare. be wise

I think you didn't read well..... I didn't say I can't cook. And I'm not expecting her to treat like a baby...... I don't really blame you for your comment, because if you read truely, you would have discovered I was not rude at first .... When you are provoked and you can't bear it anymore you act like that.... I'm sure if you were on my shoes, you would understand better... I deliberately not write much here, due to some people might be bored reading... Think before you talk... because not all issues were discussed ...

Honeypot62:


I think you didn't read well..... I didn't say I can't cook. And I'm not expecting her to treat like a baby...... I don't really blame you for your comment, because if you read truely, you would have discovered I was not rude at first .... When you are provoked and you can't bear it anymore you act like that.... I'm sure if you were on my shoes, you would understand better... I deliberately not write much here, due to some people might be bored reading... Think before you talk... because not all issues were discussed ..

haba now, why are behaving like this, the woman is trying to advice you (though she was harsh) but you dont have to respond like that, next time just say thank you and watch your temper.

Now my advice to you, listen to what the woman just posted, though she was harsh and straight to the point but it okay.

[quote author=lexaydfg post=41097813]
haba now, why are behaving like this, the woman is trying to advice you (though she was harsh) but you dont have to respond like that, next time just say thank you and watch your temper.

Now my advice to you, listen to what the woman just posted, though she was harsh and straight to the point but it okay. [/quote

True talk. Pls op, cook ur meals also help around the house then we can blieve she s bad

How do you raise your school fees and feeding money?

lexaydfg:

haba now, why are behaving like this, the woman is trying to advice you (though she was harsh) but you dont have to respond like that, next time just say thank you and watch your temper.

Now my advice to you, listen to what the woman just posted, though she was harsh and straight to the point but it okay.

I'm sorry.....

lexaydfg:

haba now, why are behaving like this, the woman is trying to advice you (though she was harsh) but you dont have to respond like that, next time just say thank you and watch your temper.

Now my advice to you, listen to what the woman just posted, though she was harsh and straight to the point but it okay.

I'm sorry ma... but I wasn't rude here. I just let her to know my mind ... I'm sorry though.

Honeypot62:

I'm sorry.....

okay sir

[quote author=Sparkle777 post=41098347][/quote]

My sister and I do house chores.. like washing the plate, sweeping of the compound, fetch of water Etc. l sometimes do help her cook. we didn't allow her to do anything stressful , All she does is cooking..

op, I don't know what to advice you because I haven't heard her own side of the story.. the only thing I can say here is that you fix yourself on something that will be fetching you money, even if it's pocket money.

[quote author=Sparkle777 post=41098347][/quote]

My sister and I do house chores.. like washing the plate, sweeping of the compound, fetching of water Etc. l sometimes do help her cook. we didn't allow her to do anything stressful , All she does is cooking..

Honeypot62:


My sister and I do house chores.. like washing the plate, sweeping of the compound, fetch of water Etc. l sometimes do help her cook. we didn't allow her to do anything stressful , All she does is cooking..

My dear,pls cook. Just bear in mind dat she is NOT ur mother and can neva be. Remember, u re now an adult and is supposed to take care of urself. Cheers

Your mate are married with children, (Anthony Marshial is an example) u are whining about a stepmother giving u food late, u should be ashamed of urself.
Ur reply to that person that advised u shows ur character and attitude, it shows u are a rude, arrogant ignoramus.
FYI, at age 16 after my ssce, I was secretly doing a labourers job to buy a karl kani jeans and a Sanchois boot (those that were born in the 80s will know the shoe) I was not waiting for my parent, u are begging for money to get a haircut. At 19 I was cooking for my whole house, mum will just supervise, woe betide u if u burn the food.

U better get off ur lazy ass and fend for urself, respect ur stepmother and father and do what is right by them, nothing is wrong with ur stepmother u are the one that needs to do a reality check.

Thank u and God bless

Honeypot62:


My sister and I do house chores.. like washing the plate, sweeping of the compound, fetching of water Etc. l sometimes do help her cook. we didn't allow her to do anything stressful , All she does is cooking..

?.they don't understand ...that most women maltreat other peoples kids.they can never be pleased..take heart and move on...that's just the way they are wired....selfish bastards ..When you grow up,try not marry a second wife so ur children wont pass through what ur ..passing...Remain blessed..

olamideayodeji1:
Your mate are married with children, (Anthony Marshial is an example) u are whining about a stepmother giving u food late, u should be ashamed of urself.
Ur reply to that person that advised u shows ur character and attitude, it shows u are a rude, arrogant ignoramus.
FYI, at age 16 after my ssce, I was secretly doing a labourers job to buy a karl kani jeans and a Sanchois boot (those that were born in the 80s will know the shoe) I was not waiting for my parent, u are begging for money to get a haircut. At 19 I was cooking for my whole house, mum will just supervise, woe betide u if u burn the food.

U better get off ur lazy ass and fend for urself, respect ur stepmother and father and do what is right by them, nothing is wrong with ur stepmother u are the one that needs to do a reality check.

Thank u and God bless

Maybe his mom used to do all this for him, some parents spoil their kids forgetting that when they are gone the kids will suffer.

drmikeadams:
?.they don't understand ...that most women maltreat other peoples kids.they can never be pleased..take heart and move on...that's just the way they are wired....selfish bastards ..When you grow up,try not marry a second wife so ur children wont pass through what ur ..passing...Remain blessed..

Just as he said try getting independent and moving out, before you know she will brainwash your dad and no more school fees, stay away from her, pretend to like her, work as a slave and such, unless you have a place to go.

Advice especially your younger siblings to lay low.

You're destiny is calling you so embrace independence and look after yourself and take responsibility for the people in your life that matter.

The comments above have said it all and whether you like or not the truth hurts but it beats being comfortable with lies.


You were looking for sympathy and you have all our sympathy for the loss you face. May your mother rest in peace darling. Do you think she would be proud of the way you're handling this challenge?

You don't need another woman to be your mum because we get one so be grateful for her and stop trying to replace her by measuring this woman up to her. It is also not fair on your poor step mum because I don't think her dream as a lil girl was 'to fill another woman's shoes'.

And believe it or not your step mother has rights past you and your father. She is there for her husband so if you need a woman then you need to look into finding a relationship of your own and stop burdening others.


Best of luck. Sorry... but as you go on you'll understand that the truth is a hard pill to swallow but it's good for you! so take it

Honeypot62:


I think you didn't read well..... I didn't say I can't cook. And I'm not expecting her to treat like a baby...... I don't really blame you for your comment, because if you read truely, you would have discovered I was not rude at first .... When you are provoked and you can't bear it anymore you act like that.... I'm sure if you were on my shoes, you would understand better... I deliberately not write much here, due to some people might be bored reading... Think before you talk... because not all issues were discussed ...

You don't need to sound rude to pass your message across. You are a man, please act as one. Has your step mom stopped you from cooking? If she hasn't, start cooking for yourself. She's your step mom and not your maid as such you have no right at your age to demand she cooks for you.

Regarding her not giving you money for recharge card and having a hair cut, she might not more to spare or you could be asking in an arrogant manner as depicted in your post. Those things you listed are not necessities thus, learn to save your pocket money for such miscellaneous.

I wish you the best in life.

olamideayodeji1:

FYI, at age 16 after my ssce, I was secretly doing a labourers job to buy a karl kani jeans and a Sanchois boot (those that were born in the 80s will know the shoe).

Thank u and God bless

Your post reminds me of what guys did in my area around 95/96 when the code to get into a party is meeting up with dress codes. E.g. Blue Kari Karl Kani and Brown Chelsea for Friday night and for Saturday, it could be a Black Levis. As such, you need to hustle or steal from your parents to meet up the peer pressure.

I feel for you that @ 19 you are already getting your baptism of fire. I remember when I was a kid mum travelled and grandma with an uncle came to stay with us. Money was dropped for grandma for upkeeps but she and her son cornered the money.

I made my moves by selling pure water after school. I was able to take care of my siblings with nobody knowing how I got my money. Me and a friend ship bags of pure water on match days in the stadium saturdays and made money. We then brought that hand held machine for sealing pure water and went to printer and did our own logo.

Sundays me and the guy will be packaging all water for the week and used their deep freezer to store then. After school hours when all our competitors have ran out of cold water me and my guy hit the market and make a kill under few hours. I brought ending man got ps and had fun! My uncle latter discovered my secret and told he will tell my mother if I don't give him a piece of the action.

He's a crook of an uncle so got a small cut. My mother came back so I stopped. It took years before the secret leaked and she fears me till now cos of that. Most of the accidental business experience then are serving me so well now. Try to live life in your own terms.