If you haven't discussed finances, you are not ready for marriage yet!

How to handle finances is perhaps the most volatile area of contention faced by couples. Each person brings unique financial practices and values into the relationship, which can contribute to the conflict. If not addressed proactively, disagreements over money can overshadow everything else within the relationship and potentially lead to its demise.

Couples should invest time in discussing finances and working together to develop a financial strategy in light of the potential dangers of not doing so.

Here are six questions that should be addressed in the process:

1. What is our current financial condition?
To get a perspective of their present reality, couples must calculate their total indebtedness (including the debts that each brought into the relationship) and the terms of repayment. They should also calculate their combined income, taking taxes into consideration. By beginning with this necessary information, a couple can strategize to pay down debts quickly and develop a budget to be followed.



2. Who will be responsible for money management?

If separate bank accounts are maintained, each person can be responsible for his or her own account.

In such a case, decisions will have to be made regarding what bills are being paid out of which account. If the couple has a joint account, however, it often works best if one person takes the lead. That person must regularly communicate their financial status with the partner especially when concerns arise.
3. What expenses must be included in our budget?
The obvious budget items include such things as rent or mortgage payments, car payments, groceries, gas, clothing, memberships, subscriptions, and utilities.
Items that may be overlooked include charitable giving, car repairs, and gifts. The budget should reflect all these predictable expenses plus leave some wiggle room for surprises. It should also allow for 10-20 percent (or more) of the total income to be invested in savings.
4. What are your vocational goals?
Are both people pursuing professional careers, which may involve further education and relocation? If so, what will be done when those career ambitions clash? Is it expected (and required) that each person will work to earn income? What about if one person develops health problems? If children come into the picture, with both continue to work or will one choose to take care of the children?
If a couple is living paycheck to paycheck, options will be limited.
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