“Hello is that Mr. Jerome” she said on the phone, and I answered yes, this is Jerome,”Oh, thank God she said, I had prayed you will be the one to pick your call”. I usually pick my calls myself, not because I always want to, but because I realize people are more comfortable talking to me directly, especially for the fact that most of my calls are emergency calls. I have realized that most people wait till the last minute before they look for or call for a Counselor. Sometimes they do so when nothing can be done about the situation again, and that is not to say I am not a positive person, but just to say those who know how to make use of opportunities available to them always have a way of saving their day. The best time to visit a Counselor is when you don’t have a problem, and not just when you have one. A visit to the Counselor helps keep unnecessary problems out of your life.
 
As we spoke on the phone, I had a leading to ask her to come and see me at the office, and for those of you who know my procedures, you will realize that I just don’t ask you to come over and see me at the office, there is usually first things first. She told me she will make it in an hour, and that was exactly what she did which I considered quite impressive, knowing she was coming from a distance. As soon as she settled down, she just started crying saying “it was my entire fault, it was my entire fault”, she kept on repeating that over and over again, and I kept on asking what exactly she meant. When she finally got herself together, she said my husband says she doesn’t want the marriage anymore, and it was my entire fault.
 
Felicia then told me the story that made me wonder why we most times allow fear to interfere with our destinies. Felicia had met Nicholas, both of them from Kogi State in 2008. They had both worked in the same place outside of the FCT, when Nicholas later mover over to the FCT where he got a better job. In 2009, they met again, and also started attending the same Church. At that point they hit it off, and started a relationship proper which was also sexual, though they were both workers in the Church, and they decided to get married. They got married in July 2011, and had a lovely baby boy, which is a great joy, because there are so many marriages in Nigeria that is yet to be blessed with fruit of the womb. The baby came and also with some other packages; he was HIV Positive, and also with the SS genotype. The SS genotype is understandable in the situation because Felicia is SS as well, but the HIV, now that was something of concern. Tests were run on Nicholas and Felicia, and Nicholas came out as Negative while Felicia came out as Positive. That brought up a lot of confusion, because Nicholas didn’t have a clue that this was the situation. He asked Felicia for an explanation, but she said she didn’t know she was positive, and couldn’t make sense out of what was going on as well. And at that point Nicholas comforted her, and made a promise that he was going to stand by her, and their child. They struggled to keep the baby alive, but the baby later died in March 2012, and may his soul rest in peace. Nicholas and Felicia were devastated. In the process of grieving, Nicholas kept on asking Felicia if she was HIV positive before they met, and she kept on saying no, and how could she have been positive before they met, and they have been having sex since 2009 and he is not. That sounds reasonable and so he stopped asking for a while, but something in him just couldn’t take it and he kept on asking again. This time Felicia was tired of LYING, and she said yes she had been positive since 2008, ever before she met Nicholas, but couldn’t bring herself telling him because she was afraid she was going to lose him. So in her bid to keep him to herself, she lied to him. It’s amazing that even when Nicholas found out that Felicia was HIV at the Hospital in December 2011 that despite the fact that Nicholas was HIV negative, he still kept on having sex with her without a condom despite the fact that Felicia was then insisting that he should use one, but I guess he was in a state of shock then to even know what was really happening in his world, and it was when he was coming back to reality that he started seeking for answers, and as soon as he got the answer he knew deep within him was truth which is his wife was HIV positive before she met him and never told him, Nicholas told Felicia to leave and that the marriage was over. He stopped going to the Church, changed his number so that the Church pastor, Felicia and friends will not reach him. For Nicholas, he had been betrayed. Faith makes us hand over our lives to God no matter the circumstances, and makes us believe all things will work together for our good even when we don’t know how it will happen, but Fear, when we allow it to put us in bondage, makes us put our own destiny in our hands and instead living through life, we end up lying through it. Faith in God makes us Champions in life, while Fear makes us losers. Maybe you understand why God says “FEAR NOT” always. Maybe you are reading this and you realize like Felicia, you are living a lie because you have removed your life from God’s hands and taken your destiny in your hands, I can only appeal to you to hand over your life to God. The truth is He has a Perfect Plan for your life, and you can be sure He will see you through. God is an expert in making sense out of the Non-sense you have made out of your life. Go back to Him, and hand over that life of yours to Him.
 
Why couldn’t Nicholas just forgive and grieve with his wife Felicia at a time of the loss of their Child like this? Why is he so stubborn, and adamant about ending the marriage? Well I guess he has taken as much as he can humanly take, and if you ask me, I believe he deserves a round of applause. Hardly will you see any man born of woman today take most of what he took from Felicia. When he met Felicia, he knew she was a year older than him, but he decided to go on with the relationship. He also found out that she was SS genotype, while he was AS, but because of love, he decided to go on with the relationship. He also knew that Felicia was a single mum, who had a child out of wedlock, yet he still decided to go on with the relationship, and got married to the woman he loved so much, and cannot imagine living without. And so imagine how he felt when he realized that this same woman, after all he had taken, didn’t think he could take more if only she was truthful. He also felt betrayed because he found out the Pastor, her Parents, Relations etc knew about her HIV status and yet none of them made her tell him. I can imagine how devastated he must be right now. By the time Felicia had come to me, she had wanted me to help her save her marriage and get her husband back, but I had to help her see how selfish and self centered she had been, how she is just thinking of herself and her own needs without realizing that she has just messed up with the life of other people. If she had said she was HIV positive, there is a way medically her son could have been saved from being infected. As I write we also don’t know how negative Nicholas truly is. The only consolation I have in the whole situation is that while I was talking with her, God gave me a word of Comfort for her and Nicholas found in the book of Isaiah 42:6 & 16. You may check it out. In those two verses, God chooses to maintain His covenant with them, and take them through a route they cannot figure out on their own.  And trust God when He says He is in control, because He sure is. Let’s remember Nicholas and Felicia in our prayers.


http://www.jeromeistalking.org/captivated/36-jerome-please-help-me-get-my-husband-back

Sometimes it's hard to stand by people who only think about their happiness.

Joshchi:
Sometimes it's hard to stand by people who only think about their happiness.

True

Sunny, how far nah?
U urself no say ya "work" nefa feenis 4 d "strictly for teachers" thread. Fall in and let's together help d young ones out.
Forget d beefs. Let efrybodi face hin lane...... d ends - helping d unemployed, justifies d means.
Does one throw away d baby with d bath Water? No one is an island.
Like I said sometimes ago, d day d mouth say hin hate d anus , na dat day d mouth enter one Chance o. Abi na where d shit wan pass commot nah?

#we complement one anoda!

MacJC:
Sunny, how far nah?
U urself no say ya "work" nefa feenis 4 d "strictly for teachers" thread. Fall in and let's together help d young ones out.
Forget d beefs. Let efrybodi face hin lane...... d ends - helping d unemployed, justifies d means.
Does one throw away d baby with d bath Water? No one is an island.
Like I said sometimes ago, d day d mouth say hin hate d anus , na dat day d mouth enter one Chance o. Abi na where d shit wan pass commot nah?

#we complement one anoda!

Bros! I agree with you, but the beefing crew got me banned for a very long time. Help me mail the mods for the job section to unban me. They have painted me in bad light to the mods.....in every 12 there is a Judas, check out the thread now, abi you no see am!

Sunnypar:

Bros! I agree with you, but the beefing crew got me banned for a very long time. Help me mail the mods for the job section to unban me. They have painted me in bad light to the mods.....in every 12 there is a Judas, check out the thread now, abi you no see am!

Honestly, I never knew u were banned o!
Actually, I thot u were on a self-imposed sabbatical, walahi!

MacJC:



Honestly, I never knew u were banned o!
Actually, I thot u were on a self-imposed sabbatical, walahi!

No! Na Oga patapata alias Goldendr now referred to as Drgolden lol that is on self-imposed sabbatical. You can use your good church mind to mail the mod to unban me.
Thank you.

My dear, ladies are very selfish.

Give me or Leave me mentality..

MacJC:



Honestly, I never knew u were banned o!
Actually, I thot u were on a self-imposed sabbatical, walahi!

That's the ban.

Naughtysite:
My dear, ladies are very selfish.

Give me or Leave me mentality..

Are you speaking from experience?

Naughtysite:
My dear, ladies are very selfish.

Give me or Leave me mentality..

Experience!!!