.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

Nigerian girls, not all African girls, where I come from marriage is last on the list for girls, and am from Africa too

I doubt that will change though, it is part of Nigerian culture, culture hardly change in people.

Refreshing read, best piece I've read in a long while. Respect!

Miami11:
Nigerian girls, not all African girls, where I come from marriage is last on the list for girls, and am from Africa too
I doubt that will change though, it is part of Nigerian culture, culture hardly change in people.

marriage shouldn't even be on the list of the African you come from. I mean girls in your country should not even Marry at all, what the heck, you don't need husbands. Leave men alone and achieve whatever you want to achieve.


Back to topic. This article above was surely written by a feminist, the moment women equate themselves with or strive to be more than men is the day this world would turn upside down. Do you know why? women don't think about repercussions.

Don't get married or better still inform any man approaching you about your chase of achievement so as not to waste precious time on you.I wonder why mr op didn't include this in his write up

Teach them

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.

Y'all need a new mindset Africans.

Rubbish. Any worse and it would have been utter rubbish. Marriage is at the heart of community life and pivotal to healthy families and flourishing societies.

Certainly, women should develop themselves and have interests aside a narrow focus on marriage, but what exactly is beyond marriage? For both men and women?

Africans that understand and celebrate marriage do not need a new mindset. That is ignorant and patronising - and probably from a mindset you borrowed without thinking.


TV

ronald4lif:
Refreshing read, the best piece I've read in a long while. Respect!

thanks bro

bennyrazz:
marriage shouldn't even be on the list of the African you come from. I mean girls in your country should not even Marry at all, what the heck, you don't need husbands. Leave men alone and achieve whatever you want to achieve.


Back to topic. This article above was surely written by a feminist, the moment women equate themselves with or strive to be more than men is the day this world would turn upside down. Do you know why? women don't think about repercussions.

LOL. Even the so called feminist would at some point need a man

TV01:

Rubbish. Any worse and it would have been utter rubbish. Marriage is at the heart of community life and pivotal to healthy families and flourishing societies.

Certainly, women should develop themselves and have interests aside a narrow focus on marriage, but what exactly is beyond marriage? For both men and women?

Africans that understand and celebrate marriage do not need a new mindset. That is ignorant and patronising - and probably from a mindset you borrowed without thinking.


TV

perhaps yuh didn't read btw the lines. I do not mean to say women shouldn't marry, but making that their primary motive is bad

kelvinclint:

perhaps yuh didn't read btw the lines. I do not mean to say women shouldn't marry, but making that their primary motive is bad

You are right, I didn't read between the lines. But why is making marriage their primary motive bad? That can be the case, and they can still have career aspirations, outside interest, hobbies and various other pursuits.

Marriage remains central, and worthy of prioritising above other endeavours. And my opinion on your piece remains as is

TV

As a woman you need to kill this insecurity. You were not created to live to please a man finally you were created to live a life for yourself, as a human. If you keep being insecure about how available for pick-up you are going to be in future you are gonna get married for the wrong reasons. If you take your time, and do the right things, you are still gonna have a great marriage no matter how old you are. Women are trained to look forward to marriage so much that they worry about not getting married quick, not finding a husband quick, not looking good enough to be married... U be commodity?

bennyrazz:
marriage shouldn't even be on the list of the African you come from. I mean girls in your country should not even Marry at all, what the heck, you don't need husbands. Leave men alone and achieve whatever you want to achieve.


Back to topic. This article above was surely written by a feminist, the moment women equate themselves with or strive to be more than men is the day this world would turn upside down. Do you know why? women don't think about repercussions.

You don't seem to understand poster,

He said women should value stuff like career, money studies first,

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair

Live your life the way you want and let others live theirs. There really are no absolutes in this life, live the way that suits your aspirations . A woman that chooses career over marriage is no better than the one that chose marriage over career. Let people focus on the area of development that they desire the most, be it starting their own families or building business empires.


I must say that this article can be misleading depending on the perspective the reader is viewing from. Telling ladies to spend their entire youth chasing money and settling down much later in life isn't exactly a top notch advice. I would have mentioned why but am already tired of typing.

More rubbish.

kelvinclint post=41403743 :
As a woman you need to kill
this insecurity. You were not
created to live to please a
man finally you were created
to live a life for yourself, as
a human.

Giving forethought too, and prioritising marriage is not insecurity. It is sound planning.I wish I'd done it earlier and I'm a man. And I may not have been created to please anybody, but if I choose marriage, it will be an important consideration. Most people choose and want marriage

kelvinclint post=41403743 :

If you keep being
insecure about how available
for pick-up you are going to
be in future you are gonna
get married for the wrong
reasons.

As above, consideration and forethought do not mean insecure. Understanding and preparing for marriage will go a long way to ensuring you have a solid and enjoyable union.

kelvinclint post=41403743 :

If you take your time, and do
the right things, you are still
gonna have a great marriage
no matter how old you are.

Wrong. Taking time and doing the right things includes preparing and understanding marriage - just like one does for other things, such as a job/career, for which we spend 20 odd years in education. Marriage is actually more important for many, and important for most, so warrants at least equal consideration.

As for "having a great marriage no matter how old you are", not only is that untrue, it's likely that at a certain age your chances - and most of the point - of marriage will have passed you by. You really wrote that?

kelvinclint post=41403743 :
Women are trained to look
forward to marriage so much
that they worry about not
getting married quick, not
finding a husband quick, not
looking good enough to be
married... U be commodity?

If anything, both men and women are not trained enough or properly. One should understand, prepare and maximise their chances. And yes, in some sense it's a market, and about pricing, so it's more than being a commodity, but no less.

F9 - try harder

TV

You mean women like Linda Ikeji?

kelvinclint:

You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.

i give up

KanwuliaJara:
You mean women like Linda Ikeji?

and what about LINDA?

kelvinclint:
and what about LINDA?

Did the OP see her looking for a husband?
This na 2016 almost o.
Husband nor dey reign again.
That na 'unto OLD SKOOL'!
Shioooooor!!!!

@bold, I disagree. it doesn't have to be.
Except where one is married to an unsupportive Ego-serving man.

@ the rest, you're right on point.

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

KanwuliaJara:
You mean women like Linda Ikeji?

You're back! I'VE MISSED YOU!!

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

Good morning
Pls. OP when will all these RUBBISH posts end.. ?

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

God bless

Onegai:


You're back! I'VE MISSED YOU!!

Awwwwwww
Sweet.
Thanks.
But I did not go anywhia o.
Just taking time to h-enjoy life offline

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!

My dear even d creator of marriage himself made it clear that they can't be equal. One is to submit, the other is to love. Except God no knw wetin hm dey do. What makes d difference is d measure of love u get from ur man.

Abeg if they're not men's properties, then whose properties are they...animals?
Its liabilities that they shouldn't be. Once I pay bride price, and u,ve been handedover to me as my wife, then ure my property to love n cherish.

See ehn just pray that God gives u ur own man who'll understand u and have enough to love u well. Love conquers all. All this divorce-provoking steps weh u dey follow will just end u up a single parent o.

Pidggin:


God bless

Chai see ignorance

kelvinclint:

LOL. Even the so called feminist would at some point need a man

are you minding them, let them keep deceiving themselves

Miami11:


You don't seem to understand poster,

He said women should value stuff like career, money studies first,

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair

and you don't seem to get my point. Women that value their careers should get married to their careers. If you have chosen to value your career more than any man you will get married to, spare the man the headaches and explain to him from the onset that you value your career, money more than him and the children you both are going to bring into the world, let's see if he will decide to proceed with the marriage that as failed from the beginning.

The article posted above is probably written by a woman who as gotten it all wrong in her life in terms of relationships with men and the only thing she as going on for herself is her career but every night, she cries herself to sleep when she knows
she is a failure from a marital point of view thus, she is looking for students to join her school of thought.

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

My brother maybe this epistles is meant for an average low self esteemed lady or rather village girls. Last time I checked my Boss wife have nothing before she married him, but with the support and love my boss had for her. She bore children and also focused on her carrier. Now she have established a clinic.

A man's primary lots is his career while that of a woman's primary lot is marriage. Even feminist wishes to be with a man, if not for their baseless pride. Thanks

bennyrazz:
and you don't seem to get my point. Women that value their careers should get married to their careers. If you have chosen to value your career more than any man you will get married to, spare the man the headaches and explain to him from the onset that you value your career, money more than him and the children you both are going to bring into the world, let's see if he will decide to proceed with the marriage that as failed from the beginning.

Does this article say "Women value your careers more than your family"?

The article posted above is probably written by a woman who as gotten it all wrong in her life in terms of relationships with men and the only thing she as going on for herself is her career but every night, she cries herself to sleep when she knows
she is a failure from a marital point of view thus, she is looking for students to join her school of thought.

This way of thinking is the reason why we need more articles like this. People like you think that all unmarried ladies who have flourishing careers cry themselves to sleep at night while all married ladies sparkle happiness.

There are career women who enjoy their lives very much without crying themselves to sleep. They take pride in their achievements. They travel the world. They buy expensive designer clothes and the best cosmetics the market has to offer. They get the best facial treatments, manicure and pedicure and a massage twice a week. They have fancy houses and people who clean their houses. They look healthy and younger than they actually are. They dine in the best restaurants where waiters are eager to please them and fulfill their wishes.

But yeah, they will definitely change their position with a mother of five whose husband can barely feed them just for the sake of having a man.

The long and short of it all is that, men and women need each other.

EOD.

freecocoa:
The long and short of it all is that, men and women need each other.

EOD.

desire