Hi nairalanders,
Please I need you people's advice urgently. My husband is based in Europe. And my papers were through around October last year. I was given my visa and was to travel by October ending when one day he called to tell me that he has problem. That his papers has been collected from him. That he has lost his job and his house too. I was trying to know what was happening but he kept me in the dark until he came back this Xmas telling me that a lady that she used to know is helping him. That she is accommodating him since he has no house anymore. That she is carrying his baby and that he has married her in court.
Me and my husband has been married in court here in Nigeria and he went ahead to do another court marriage in Europe
Saying that my heart is broken is understatement!
Please nairalanders, how can the law protect me in this situation. Is such permitted in Europe? Lawyers in the house please help me.

I can't shout abeg.

It's illegal in Europe and I don't know if it will affect you. Why not stay in Nigeria rather than rush into that situation? Do you want to remain married to him?

U shud b happy for ur husband on his new bride and unborn baby not askin us dix qstn cox its not a crime if ur husband marries anoda wife?

Kpele. Sorry o.

How do you know he married you first? Maybe he married her first to get his papers or something like that and then she just found out about his marriage to you and got his papers seized.

Like someone asked do you want to remain married to him?
The answer to that will help guide the decision you make next.

Personally if I was you and I don't have any kids for him yet walking away would be better. All that mess of extramarital kids, child support, bla bla bla will make your young marriage harder than it should be.

My guess is that all those stories are just to 'ratify' what he had done, and of course prevent you from coming over. If he stops you coming over, you may have to reconsider the marriage. It's your choice. The world is so full of selfishness.

My guy just got booted out... Now he's in your custody, do to him whatever u please.

He is obviously full of lies. He was hoping you are denied visa and when that didn't happen ,he spins another angle. You can still travel and find your way from there, except you love Nigeria very much.

Seriously I think we have got to the point now that anyone whose spouse is travelling abroad should be asking the question

"Dear what papers are you travelling on"

If your hubby travelled on a 6 month visiting visa to hustle, but had no intention of coming back after 6 months, then its almost certain that he will end up marrying someone or doing some wuru wuru for papers.

People should stop burying their heads in the sand

From the sounds of it, he has another life over there and that a baby is involved shows that it wasn't just a financial agreement.

Bigamy is illegal in some countries but I dont know how you can fight your case from Nigeria

You sound like you love your husband so I dont really know what to advise. I have heard stories of men not seeing their Naija wives for 10 years. So you need to know what exactly you are signing up for.

byvan03:
He is obviously full of lies. He was hoping you are denied visa and when that didn't happen ,he spins another angle. You can still travel and find your way from there, except you love Nigeria very much.

Tnx byvan, but how can I travel since he is the one to give me stay over there. What are my chances

Hmmm

Following on from Byvans comment I Just read your OP again

were you given a visa based on your husbands application for you to come over as his wife?

if so, then there is more to his story.

You may need to go to Europe and see things for yourself and make a decision based on that.

feldido:
My guy just got booted out... Now he's in your custody, do to him whatever u please.

how?

tearoses:
Following on from Byvans comment I Just read your OP again

were you given a visa based on your husbands application for you to come over as his wife?

if so, then there is more to his story.

You may need to go to Europe and see things for yourself and make a decision based on that.

Yes I was given my visa as his wife.
see things how? Please explain to me

tearoses:
Seriously I think we have got to the point now that anyone whose spouse is travelling abroad should be asking the question

"Dear what papers are you travelling on"

If your hubby travelled on a 6 month visiting visa to hustle, but had no intention of coming back after 6 months, then its almost certain that he will end up marrying someone or doing some wuru wuru for papers.

People should stop burying their heads in the sand

From the sounds of it, he has another life over there and that a baby is involved shows that it wasn't just a financial agreement.

Bigamy is illegal in some countries but I dont know how you can fight your case from Nigeria

You sound like you love your husband so I dont really know what to advise. I have heard stories of men not seeing their Naija wives for 10 years. So you need to know what exactly you are signing up for.

It's not about love now but making the right decision

shalomp:


how?

The decision is hers to make now

janvier27:
My guess is that all those stories are just to 'ratify' what he had done, and of course prevent you from coming over. If he stops you coming over, you may have to reconsider the marriage. It's your choice. The world is so full of selfishness.

How can I fight my case from Nigeria? that's my problem

feldido:


The decision is hers to make now

She wants him to divorce me. She is so desperate that she made him to go into another marriage without being divorced. So how do I protect myself?

shalomp:


Yes I was given my visa as his wife.
see things how? Please explain to me

If you were given papers because you are his wife that means that the authorities know about your marriage. How then was he able to marry another woman. Bigamy is not allowed in western countries. It is not adding up

shalomp:


Yes I was given my visa as his wife.
see things how? Please explain to me

For you to have been given a visa as his wife he would have had to have satisfied the visa officer that he is in the country legally and also that he is married to you

So I dont know what need he has for this other woman. Even if he lost his job and house, that should not mean that the next step is to get another woman pregnant. No correlation at all.

Unless he used to the woman to get his papers, has legally divorced her and used his status to bring you in, but the woman is still in his life in terms of a relationship. Does this other woman know about you do you know?

To be honest your husband is the only one who can unravel this story as its not adding up at all. Get him to be honest with you so at least you know where you stand. He owes you that at the very least.

shalomp:


She wants him to divorce me. She is so desperate that she made him to go into another marriage without being divorced. So how do I protect myself?

Have you heard her side of the story or just what ur husband said?

I think there's more to the story.

Onegai:
It's illegal in Europe and I don't know if it will affect you. Why not stay in Nigeria rather than rush into that situation? Do you want to remain married to him?

She wants him to divorce me. She is so desperate that she
made him to go into another marriage without being
divorced. So how do I protect myself?

tearoses:


For you to have been given a visa as his wife he would have had to have satisfied the visa officer that he is in the country legally and also that he is married to you

So I dont know what need he has for this other woman. Even if he lost his job and house, that should not mean that the next step is to get another woman pregnant. No correlation at all.

Unless he used to the woman to get his papers, has legally divorced her and used his status to bring you in, but the woman is still in his life in terms of a relationship. Does this other woman know about you do you know?

To be honest your husband is the only one who can unravel this story as its not adding up at all. Get him to be honest with you so at least you know where you stand. He owes you that at the very least.

He said that he was involved in some illegal business. And his paper was collected from him. so for him to get his papers back or maybe given another one he went and married the lady and I don't know how that is possible since
they have already asked me to come as his wife

shalomp:


He said that he was involved in some illegal business. And his paper was collected from him. so for him to get his papers back or maybe given another one he went and married the lady and I don't know how that is possible since
they have already asked me to come as his wife

How long have you been married? Have you got kids?

He did not only commit bigamy, he is also into illegal business? Can you trust him after all? Do you still want to join him?

shalomp:

Tnx byvan, but how can I travel since he is the one to give me stay over there. What are my chances

You have no one there at all? Cousins, relatives? My dear calm down and think. no one died ,love lost can be found elsewhere .

tearoses:


For you to have been given a visa as his wife he would have had to have satisfied the visa officer that he is in the country legally and also that he is married to you

So I dont know what need he has for this other woman. Even if he lost his job and house, that should not mean that the next step is to get another woman pregnant. No correlation at all.

Unless he used to the woman to get his papers, has legally divorced her and used his status to bring you in, but the woman is still in his life in terms of a relationship. Does this other woman know about you do you know?

To be honest your husband is the only one who can unravel this story as its not adding up at all. Get him to be honest with you so at least you know where you stand. He owes you that at the very least.

She knows about me and she is fighting so hard to break my marriage. I believe she has given him a lot of money too

byvan03:



You have no one there at all? Cousins, relatives? My dear calm down and think. no one died ,love lost can be found elsewhere .

He said he can bring me over there but not as his wife, so that I can find my way. But I don't know what will be involved

Please stop blaming this woman, she is being lied to too. Your husband is the one complicating two women 's life here, you don't know the version he gave her.

shalomp:


He said he can bring me over there but not as his wife, so that I can find my way. But I don't know what will be involved

Like byvan03 said "stop blaming the other woman". Your husband is telling lies to both of you. Are you still interested in him after all these lies? Do you still want to join him? He got involved in shady and illegal deals, are you sure he is telling the truth, or just looking for another lie to cover a lie? Truthfully, if you're my sister, I would tell you to walk away. Forget the marriage. Its not worth going into.

shalomp:



She knows about me and she is fighting so hard to break my marriage. I believe she has given him a lot of money too

How do you know she is aware of you, have you spoken to her? Don't believe a word he says without seeing for yourself. No one can break a marriage that isn't already broken.

Sorry to put it this way OP but your husbands stories sound very very dodgy
I m not sure I would believe a word from his mouth
Are you sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?

marsoden:


Like byvan03 said "stop blaming the other woman". Your husband is telling lies to both of you. Are you still interested in him after all these lies? Do you still want to join him? He got involved in shady and illegal deals, are you sure he is telling the truth, or just looking for another lie to cover a lie? Truthfully, if you're my sister, I would tell you to walk away. Forget the marriage. Its not worth going into.

Seriously......the man is full of lies, she has to move on or let him waste more years of her life for nothing. If the visa can still serve any purpose, let her make maximum use of it.