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State Of Dilemma. - Romance - Nairaland

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State Of Dilemma. by Stevecyes(m): 7:39pm On Jan 03, 2016
I am writing this in utter dilemma and total melancholy of of
heart. I wish to find some helpful advise here as I have seen
a lot of people get positive relationship advise on this
forum.
This is my first time of writing to nàiralanders.
I am in a relationship dilemma right now and I need
realistic directions on how to go about it.
I'm in a relationship with a girl, I hv been dating these girl for quite some times now.

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Re: State Of Dilemma. by Vjcray: 7:40pm On Jan 03, 2016
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Aristotle96(m): 7:42pm On Jan 03, 2016
Op u just dy fast forward to dis fast forward to that... Na so u fast forwardly bleep her... Now u wan fast forwardly find help...make una too go church for cleansing first of all den angry
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Nobody: 7:43pm On Jan 03, 2016
I Give Up!. I can't read this Poo anymore

Just wasted time and energy, Yet, the story no gree end.

You are a Kettle! for subjecting me to this kind of Psychological Trauma.
Re: State Of Dilemma. by YorubaWoman: 7:47pm On Jan 03, 2016
E dakun kini yi po oje undecided
Re: State Of Dilemma. by GAZZUZZ(m): 7:58pm On Jan 03, 2016
i did help her and by the special grace of God she made it through.

you were a were a bad influence in that child's life, please her parents are on the right path, allow her go for her kertling (see kettle calling pot black)catering classes you have done enough damage already, allow her goon with her life. Don't see you contributing anything positive to her.

1 Like

Re: State Of Dilemma. by fulfillbill(m): 8:13pm On Jan 03, 2016
You need to be firm with her..i see you are being soft with her dats why she's not serious with her studies.

On the other hand academics no be by force, make she go learn hand work, no be everybody go go skool.
Re: State Of Dilemma. by aieromon(m): 8:16pm On Jan 03, 2016
grin grin grin grin

Both of you are made for each other,dazzall
Re: State Of Dilemma. by DuchessLily(f): 8:20pm On Jan 03, 2016
Pheeww!!!! I tire!!

OP na wa for ur grammar and spellings oo..I give up!! U should have as well written this long epistle in ur native dialect cheesy
Re: State Of Dilemma. by firstking01(m): 8:29pm On Jan 03, 2016
Seems ur a nice guy and a husband materiaL...my advice...help her outa illiteracy, weather u still want her or nt...i 've done this before, and i'm still doing it...just complete the good work u 've started....bt it's hard to believe that smbdy frm Jss1-SS3 couldn't write or read...wat kinda human being is that

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Re: State Of Dilemma. by firstking01(m): 8:33pm On Jan 03, 2016
Aristotle96:
Op u just dy fast forward to dis fast forward to that... Na so u fast forwardly bleep her... Now u wan fast forwardly find help...make una too go church for cleansing first of all den angry
lol @ur siggy...others came, saw and conquered...ur own u came, saw and ran away grin
Re: State Of Dilemma. by coolh3ad(m): 8:45pm On Jan 03, 2016
Thank God..I finally reach the end of the story...Bros, I hail you grammar ooo...But the truth is, she's not ready to learn anything so stop disturbing her...If you can't stay with her for who she is, then I guess its best you call her and talk to her....abi

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Re: State Of Dilemma. by Kaylexzy(m): 8:48pm On Jan 03, 2016
DonUjay:
I Give Up!. I can't read this Poo anymore

Just wasted time and energy, Yet, the story no gree end.

You are a Kettle! for subjecting me to this kind of Psychological Trauma.

Hahahaha

U bad o grin

But na true u talk sha... cry
Re: State Of Dilemma. by coolh3ad(m): 8:51pm On Jan 03, 2016
firstking01:
Seems ur a nice guy and a husband materiaL...my advice...help her outa illiteracy, weather u still want her or nt...i 've done this before, and i'm still doing it...just complete the good work u 've started....bt it's hard to believe that smbdy frm Jss1-SS3 couldn't write or read...wat kinda human being is that

Ehhh...Its very very very possible...I am a living witness...My younger cousin's GF is just like that...Her dad passed on when she was in Primary 6...She didn't go to school from JSS to SS..Only evening lessons and tutorials and that's once in a while oo...She's not really fluent in english but she dey try but her reading and writing skill is Zero..And she is CUTE.....Her Younger sister too - The same...So its very possible. Maybe she went through something similar
Re: State Of Dilemma. by daddynasa: 9:01pm On Jan 03, 2016
chei op ur grammer na wa o. u n d girl need help abeg which uni u dey? u condition worse pass her own cus she knws she does not knw but u dnt knw u that u dnt knw
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Aristotle96(m): 9:03pm On Jan 03, 2016
firstking01:
lol @ur siggy...others came, saw and conquered...ur own u came, saw and ran away grin
bro I no be Roman emperor...the things i dy see this days day pass me so ah gats run o undecided
Re: State Of Dilemma. by firstking01(m): 9:11pm On Jan 03, 2016
Aristotle96:
bro I no be Roman emperor...the things i dy see this days day pass me so ah gats run o undecided
so, hw do u intend to succeed in life if u keep running away frm ur challenges?
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Nobody: 9:22pm On Jan 03, 2016
This grammars no b play oo.

Lemme go read it again cheesy
Re: State Of Dilemma. by firstking01(m): 9:26pm On Jan 03, 2016
coolh3ad:


Ehhh...Its very very very possible...I am a living witness...My younger cousin's GF is just like that...Her dad passed on when she was in Primary 6...She didn't go to school from JSS to SS..Only evening lessons and tutorials and that's once in a while oo...She's not really fluent in english but she dey try but her reading and writing skill is Zero..And she is CUTE.....Her Younger sister too - The same...So its very possible. Maybe she went through something similar
brosieh...ur own case is entirely a diff scenario...in ur own case, d gal didn't have d opportunity to start frm Jss1-ss3...bt in d op's case, she went through js1, js2, js3, sat for junior waecsad...continued frm ss1, ss2, ss3, soteeeeyy write waec, kai, it's near impossicannotsad..tell me wat i dnt knw jare.
Re: State Of Dilemma. by coolh3ad(m): 11:02pm On Jan 03, 2016
firstking01:
brosieh...ur own case is entirely a diff scenario...in ur own case, d gal didn't have d opportunity to start frm Jss1-ss3...bt in d op's case, she went through js1, js2, js3, sat for junior waecsad...continued frm ss1, ss2, ss3, soteeeeyy write waec, kai, it's near impossicannotsad..tell me wat i dnt knw jare.

Broseih no vex...The story was so long combined with the grammar I didn't realize she actually completed the whole seconday education....Maybe na community grammar school for village she go....who knows?
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Gluthatione: 11:03pm On Jan 03, 2016
hmmm, In this 21st century, can that be possible? how does she scape through secondary school?But anyway she has a disease in her cognitive part of d brain, though I forgotten the name.pls don't leave her now do anything u can do to assist her because with all what u wrote ,she has given up on her self.
Wait ooo ,bros u try ooo after eating d puna u are now saying is not d woman of your type hmmm, God is watching u oooo.
Re: State Of Dilemma. by firstking01(m): 11:06pm On Jan 03, 2016
coolh3ad:


Broseih no vex...The story was so long combined with the grammar I didn't realize she actually completed the whole seconday education....Maybe na community grammar school for village she go....who knows?
lol, abeg nairaland crack ma ribs too much dis evening...i no wan laugh agn
Re: State Of Dilemma. by coolh3ad(m): 11:22pm On Jan 03, 2016
firstking01:
lol, abeg nairaland crack ma ribs too much dis evening...i no wan laugh agn

Lol....abi ooo
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Nobody: 11:25pm On Jan 03, 2016
Ur 1st time and u write this kind epistle. U never learn for life say to get people's attention ur speech has to be short but concise? Go settle ur matter o cuz me no read am.

1 Like

Re: State Of Dilemma. by Michellla(f): 11:42pm On Jan 03, 2016
damn so long...it seemed more like a story.

1 Like

Re: State Of Dilemma. by charlito94(m): 11:56pm On Jan 03, 2016
DonUjay:
I Give Up!. I can't read this Poo anymore

Just wasted time and energy, Yet, the story no gree end.

You are a Kettle! for subjecting me to this kind of Psychological Trauma.
can u write a simple letter. or even a comprehensive report ?
try to appreciate peoples work
if u don't hae any gud thing to say don't comment
Re: State Of Dilemma. by charlito94(m): 12:12am On Jan 04, 2016
Stevecyes:
I am writing this in utter dilemma and total melancholy of of
heart. I wish to find some helpful advise here as I have seen
a lot of people get positive relationship advise on this
forum.
This is my first time of writing to nàiralanders.
I am in a relationship dilemma right now and I need
realistic directions on how to go about it.
I'm in a relationship with a girl, I hv been dating these girl for years now. we knew each other when she came visiting her relative that lives in the same block with us for a long time vacation. She was in her SS2 then and was a virgin as of then, while i was in my 2yr in university. She was the first that stalked me and showed some signified affections and interest towards me notwithstanding how relatively small in age she was then, she was 17 while i was 22 as of the time we first met.
I am going to be as honest as possible so you can get the clear
Concept. One thing led to the other and we spark up an infusion that led us to more of friends. We xchanged mobile contacts. There was a midnight i was surprised to see her call, that i should plz come out cos i was already far asleep when she called. So i unlocked the door and came out, she said she can't sleep, that she misses me a lot and that she knew she's not supposed to be doing these but she can't help it; that's why she called me out, at a moment i couldn't alter any words, i just cuddled her. We kissed and held each other and then loosened her and told her to go that we will see each other in the morning which she adhered reluctantly. Few days later when i was the only one at home, i invited her cos her relative she came to visit for holiday was living next door to ours. When she came, we began to kiss and romance sporadically and fiercely in a hot passionate way. When i wanted to make love to her, she resisted and profoundly told me that she's not mentally and psychologically ready for it now. That she will give it to me when she have written her SSCE exam, i told her do u know what you re saying, that u want me to wait for a year+ before i can have it! Yes" she uttered to me... That she will use those period to ascertain my resolves on her. On so many other occasions i tried also to see if she can change her mind but she was so hell bent and resolute-ful that i have to give in to her gut proclaimed concept. At the genesis of these affair, i wasn't in love with her, i just liked her for loving me so crazy and passionately the way she did, but as time goes by, i began to feel her and before i could reprimand my heart to trade with caution and be more brave than these love tentacles of a secondary school girl, i was already into her. Fast forward to her SS3 after she took her SSCE exam, she came as she promised me and we did it together. To be true fair, lots of bloods really gosh out and she was crying and also bit me with her teeth. I didn't really enjoyed it cos of those blood and the noises she made during those processes, but that's always how it is suppose to be for the first time.
Fast forward to when her result in SSCE she took came out, she failed virtually all the subjects but only two. I told her that she should tell her parents to enroll her on next year SSCE outside of her school cos she was in a boardering school so that i can be of a help to her. She did and purchased the entrance and when the time for the exam was due, i did help her and by the special grace of God she made it through.
As things was going i implored her to purchase JAMB exam which she told she's aware of. She later did and sat for the exam which by Gods grace she made it through my assistance but post UME entrance denied her of admission. On second attempt on sitting for JAMB, she got it but still same old shit, post UME denied her admission again. By these time, her parents has gotten fed up and hv given up on her chances of getting any admission. They proposed to her to enroll in kertling school which i disagreed and disapproved with them cos i wanted her to go to university due to the fact that i have started concept-ing and nursing the idea that she might possibly be potential wife of mine from my own perspective. I told her to convince her parents to allow her a benefit of doubt and give her the very last possible chance but she came back and told me that her parents unanimously subdued her to accept the kertling school. I then had no objectivity to still force in an already decided idea.
Fast forward to her kertling school adventure, she was doing just fine, all of a sudden the unimaginable happened and i never believed it from the onset.
She told me that she has been nursing it in her mind for years since we started dating but it was about time she let the cat out of the bag cos she can't run without legs. She told me that all these while we have been dating that she doesn't know how to read and possibly write. I was dump founded and couldn't believe it at first. Then she started weeping and shading tears. I was still in total state of sock and unbelief.
I asked her all these while i have been sending her those seasonal text messages and also normal boy and girl friend text message she was incapacitated to read them. I asked her what about those ones she sent me. How did she manage to do that, she told me that she bought a text message book from the market and types it through that channel. I asked her again, how did you managed to pass your exams from primary 1 to primary 6 and from JSS1 to SS3. She said na God de help her. I rebuked that i wasn't God helping her, that it must certainly be Satan cos God doesn't encourage malpractices.
Few minutes later, i scarcely dragged words out of my mouth and told her what do u want me to do now, she said she barely know. I told her do u know that i hate to mingle myself with the illiterates? That as u can see there was these friend of mine, i mentioned the name of that person to her which she knew very well that the person doesn't know how to read and right that it pisses me off cos if u go to his phone and sees the names he uses to store his friends number you will feel pity of him. He sometimes uses AG, JY, 3L, CE, 441, HGRI etc to store his friends contacts. That i never know you re in the same wavelength with him even upon all the boarder school u attended and everything, that u re still inept and daft academically... I told her that i will try to still keep the love i have on her but she must promise me she will start to study and learn via me. I sketched a time table and told her this is how she will be enrolling on my lessens which she agreed on.... We started it, did it first week and second week, the third week, she has already started lacking zeal to learn. I urged her again, this is not about the sacrifice u re making today but the reward of what you will definitely gain tomorrow from it. B/c in these 21 century, these your lack of reading or writing handicap shouldn't be happening and still u don't want to work in resolute in solving it.
I tried to motivate her but no self-determination from her on part. She told me about her reading handicap lemme say three years+ ago and up till now even the assignment i gave her about three years ago in our last class, she haven't submitted it back to me or even from that three years till today ask me when re we going to continue those lesson. She never asked. I was even the one that asked her last month December, about 2weeks prior to xmass that what about the lesson, she told me we will continue during xmass period but she has now travelled to xmass as i'm speaking to you guys now. I don't know what else to do. There is a church we both go together, we both collectively confided in one of the church member, chorister to be precise, she's a teacher in a primary school and told her the problem and asked her to plz assist her to combat these handicap of hers. I told her the girl that money won't gonna be an issue and the girl said she won't charge her. She went there on two or three occasions and stopped going. These girl has been calling her on phone as if it's her on problem but she give a deaf ear to it and told her that she will soon come but that soon has never come to fruition.
Physical, she doesn't necessary hv what i want from a potential wife to be; she lacks heigh but not that she's absolutely short, she's not fair, she's not beautiful, she's just OK. She's gonna fat up in the future cos i hv sensed it.... She isn't even good in bed to my liking. The opposite of all these is what i want from my ideal woman.
But all these i wanted to put aside and try to create a future between us cos love is not necessary always about finding miss perfect but ability to spot miss imperfect and make her miss perfect but she's not trying to perfect herself academically. Just to know how to read and write but she can't work on that. My dream girl has always being for her to be a graduate, not just a graduate but academically sound. I want to travel to US or Canada but more of US God willing before the year end; but i want to make a decision cos indecision is still a decision. My question now goes to u guys in the house, should i break up with her now or should i wait till when i travel then dis-communicate with her totally. But i have my reservations though, if i were to break up with her while i'm still in Nigeria. I might not have the gut feeling to still totally let go cos she must be calling me on phone, trying to see me and seeing her crying will mellow my heart to still forge it ahead with her but the option of me travelling and immediately blacklisting all medium of communications will be far better for me cos she won't be able to hv a direct contact with me. Plz guys i need every mature advice i can possibly get to unravel these problem and sort it ones but all. Thanks!!!





bros am soon going to be a graduate and I have told my self I cant marry a girl that is not educated, not compulsory a university graduate but someone who has acquire knowledge, intellectually sound and a future prospect person not the one that will tie me down and bring shame to me no matter how beautiful u may look. but shaa to me
you have done your best even gone beyond limits and most off all patience and financial investment into ones future. free her but let me assure you it will sure tell on her cos to me from ur story I have done a similar thing but not to ur extent to me I will say let her go but still u don't have to cut all communications u can tell her ur mind dat it is over but u re still her friend u can still play that elderly role by giving her advice probably but I will insist u follow ur heart but be cautious

1 Like

Re: State Of Dilemma. by Greenbullet(m): 12:12am On Jan 04, 2016
stupid op ,oti fi oko fi baye omo yen jé.
Re: State Of Dilemma. by snakie86: 12:27am On Jan 04, 2016
DuchessLily:
Pheeww!!!! I tire!!

OP na wa for ur grammar and spellings oo..I give up!! U should have as well written this long epistle in ur native dialect cheesy

cheesy grin what a way to end d nyt.....badt geh
Re: State Of Dilemma. by FlyTee(m): 12:33am On Jan 04, 2016
OP, reading that thing you wrote there is pure torture. Please do yourself a favour and change your school.

1 Like

Re: State Of Dilemma. by Lordseyad(m): 4:11am On Jan 04, 2016
Thrash!!


And what do they do to it?


Leave am for Lawma..

but am leaving this for NairaMa..
Re: State Of Dilemma. by Nobody: 4:27am On Jan 04, 2016
OP your girl has a learning disability, maybe dyslexia (look it up on the web) or something. All that private coaching cannot help her, she needs to be taught in a special way.

You're not Nobel material yourself, your grammar is poor and you're also ignorant. I suggest you remove yourself from the poor girl's life if you cant help her as you've done more harm than good to her, so far

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