Obama: It is my pleasure to receive you at the White house, Mr. Yar'Ardua."


Yaradu'a: "Thank you so much President Obama. I can see that you command a great following from your great fifle."

"Yeah right, our people are great, and they will follow leaders who are ready to be servant of all, leaders willing to serve them."

"I am willing to serve but our people are not following me."

OBama: You are willing to serve or you are serving."

Yaradua: "I am serving them to all my ability, but you see, our people are too head-strong, too critical, if you know what I mean, and they are doing my head in."

"Nigerian people are too critical? Have you ever been interviewed by the CNN, BBC, ABC, CBC, NBC? Ask Remi Kabaka your musician; man you will fart if American journalists interview you!"

"I do not grant interviews."

Obama: "Oh, your situation will be worse if you don't grant interviews. How will the media know your plans, programs and agenda?"


YAradua: "Our agenda is public knowledge and our people know our agenda very well."

Obama: "So which aspect of the agenda are you personally passionate about?

You see, I am very concerned about the difficulty in accessing health care by more than 40 million Americans and the high cost of Medicare."

Yaradua: "I … I … am very passionate about …eh. If you know what I mean, I am very passionate about our people and our democracy."


Obama: "Oh, I see. But I hear hydro is a big problem in Nigeria."


Yaradua: "Hydro? What do you mean by hydro?"

Obama: "I mean energy, electricity and power supply."

Yaradua: "It is not a problem as such. We are working very hard at it and we have spent more than $5 billion to deal with it and we are still going to spend more to fix the problem."

Obama: "That is good. May be I will visit Nigeria, only I worry about power supply. Our people in Nigeria say they run their embassy on generators."

Yaradua: "Don't worry. You will be my special guest. You and Michelle will stay with my family inside Aso Rock. Power is permanent at Aso Rock. Government cannot be slowed down by power failure."

Obama: "But the people and industries are being slowed down by power supply."

Yaradua: "The industries can take care of themselves and the people are already used to generators."

Obama: "But surely there should be millions who cannot afford generators."

Yaradua: "Oh yes, you are right. Those people are resilient, very resilient indeed. Our people can cope until we are able to fix the problem of power."

Obama: "But I am surprised that Nigeria cannot generate enough power in the 21st century with your huge oil and gas output. What is going on in that your country, Mr. President?"

Yaradua: "This was a problem I inherited, which my predecessor also inherited and which his own predecessor also inherited. It is a big problem which …."


Obama: "I heard it is all down to corruption and looting. I have read so many stories about corruption in Nigeria, about the Halliburton bribery scandal and Siemens. News of corruption seems to be the only thing coming out of Nigeria. Why is that?"

YAradua: "I personally ordered the EFCC to look into the Siemens case, but most of these stories are nothing but political propaganda meant to destroy the good name of our nation and my well-meaning government."

Obama: "But you just said you personally ordered the Siemens' case looked into by … em …"


Yaradua: "The EFCC, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission."

Obama: "Oh I remember that name. That was where that guy Mr. Ribadu was. He was doing a good job and the momentum was high when he was there. Why did you remove him?"

Yaradua: "He was found to be insubordinate and disrespectful of his seniors and bosses."

Obama: "That was not the story I heard. You know, Mr. President, you don't reinvent the wheel except there is much more to it."

Yaradua: "There is nothing to it other than propaganda."

Obama: "Is that your Nobel laureate also part of the propaganda? He is a highly respected man whose wealth of knowledge is in great demand."

Yaradua: "He is a subversive element and a troublesome man, too belligerent for our liking."

Obama: "Are you saying he is a terrorist, that man of letters?

Yaradua: "People are difficult and strange, and you can tell what he is getting into. Look at those educated Niger Delta people, who are waging war against the state and the oil companies in the Niger Delta; we are surprised how they came by guns, grenades and other firearms."

Obama: "But I heard the Niger Delta is known for its poverty than for its crude oil. How come the people of the Delta are so poor and desperate even when the golden egg is laid in their backyards?


Yaradua: "The golden egg is not laid in their backyard at all. The oil flows from the North and settles in the Niger Delta. It is like your own Alaska."

Obama: "Are you sure about that? I wonder what science support your claim."

Yaradua: "Just as I wonder why some people are homeless in America."

Obama: "You have to understand that America is a free market economy. You only eat when you work, but then there are social welfare and social housing support for millions. Many more would be on the streets today if not for the financial support and accommodation they get from the cities, counties, states and the federal government. Many more also get Medicaid and health care from the government, including drugs."

Yaradua: "To give drugs to the people for free, that is not possible! We cannot do that in Nigeria. That alone will take our entire national budget and leave us with nothing."

Obama: "But if you plug the holes and get rid of the corrupt people within and at the corridors of power, you can do these things."

Yaradua: "There are no corrupt people at my corridor in Aso Rock, may be at the National Assembly."

Obama: "Well if there are corrupt people in your assembly by all means get rid of them."

Yaradua: "Yes, I will. Some of them were recently arrested and are facing corruption charges for stealing billions of naira meant for electricity projects. These fifle awarded billions of naira contracts to themselves without tender."

Obama: "But how were they able to do that being legislators."

Yaradua: Haba! Our fifle are very crafty, I tell you. Some of them will eat right before the very eyes of the owner, what else can I tell you!"

Obama: "I can see you have a lot of problems out there."

Yaradua: "I tell you I have a lot of froblems and I am doing my best, ko."

Obama: "What was that?"

Yaradua: "Just a manner of speaking."

Obama: "Have you seen the photographs of your son circulating on the Internet recently? They call it 'The Yar'Ardua Series'.

Yaradua: "It is the work of the enemy, those Internet people trying to hurt our nation and my family, all of them enemies of democracy."

Obama: "But your son was photograph carrying a gun, sitting on a huge motorcycle, making up with friends on top of a car on a main road, swimming in your Nigerian currency, posing in and around your house, and generally showing off the best way he knew. Is the boy not in school?"

Yaradua: "The boy is a very good boy and he is in school. This is the work of enemies."

Obama: "You tend to have a lot of enemies, why is that?"

Yaradua: "Enemies follow me everywhere and they want to bring down my government despite my best efforts."

Obama: "So what are you going to do?"

Yaradua: "I will just continue my good work and not let these bad people distract me from my task of nation building."

Obama: "Let me wish you well in your effort to rebuild Nigeria."

Yaradua: "Let me also wish you well in your effort to rebuild America. I hope you will find time to come on state visit to Nigeria. I will personally lodge you at the Presidential Palace where light, water, phone and air conditioner are working very well without interruption."

"I will think about it."

Source: http://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/babsajayi/061709.html

Hahahaha