Alright ladies and gents I'm at a crossroad and need urgent opinion on what to do in this situation.

Okay, it goes thus. I've a family friend(s) that we're so close that people assume us to be blood related even though we have no blood connection. The bond is so strong that we started identifying ourselves as cousins and almost everyone thinks we're related owing to the manner we relate with either families.

So I was dating a lady in my hood, they live next to us before I travelled out of Nigeria. We dated for about 6months though we were friends for years. But as soon as I travelled I terminated all our communication flows coz I never wanted any distraction as I was determined to make something out of life before going into any affair at the time.

Long story cut short, this family friend, the one I was closest to among them coz we're of same age sent me some new pics of this girl two nights ago and asked how's the babe doing. I was surprised how he got them and asked where he got the pics from. He then said his big bro sent the pics to him and said he wants to marry the girl. He also said he told his bro that the girl was my one time girlfriend coz he knew when we were dating.

And the bro was a bit distraught when he heard that we dated and told him to ask me if we had sex and how intimate did we get. Truth is, I had sex with this girl twice before travelling. I've been evasive and unforthcoming in giving him a direct answer and he's persisting with the question. I just got missed calls from the bro himself and something is telling me he wants to ask same question as we rarely talk on phone except chats. Please what do you reckon I do, tell him or not? How do I handle this impasse.

Do not have sex with a woman unless she is your wife , and this issue never crops up.

Bros, I suspect the girl had lied to the boy that you didn't touch her so If you want to, you can lie along. But if not, tell that guy to be a man and take a stand.

If he wanna marry a girl, he should go ahead and stop acting childish.

SirJeffry:
Bros, I suspect the girl had lied to the boy that you didn't touch her so If you want to, you can lie along. But if not, tell that guy to be a man and take a stand.

If he wanna marry a girl, he should go ahead and stop acting childish.

Thanks for your contribution. What you said could be true coz the lady in question has been chatting me up recently after years of no communication and it just dawned on me she's trying to neutralise whatever I've got to say about our relationship. She knows I'm close to the family and they might ask questions from us since we're neighbours.

The guy might be acting childish but then he also couldn't want a situation where someone he considers a brother has had sex with his wife. Honestly, I'm more inclined to lie that we never got intimate as I don't want to ruin this lady's happiness. She was a very good friend to me. But my fear is, what if he somehow finds out after they must have married that we were intimate? Is that even possible to find out? Just a bit confused coz if he does it would ruin our friendship.

birdmansoho:


Thanks for your contribution. What you said could be true coz the lady in question has been chatting me up recently after years of no communication and it just dawned on me she's trying to neutralise whatever I've got to say about our relationship. She knows I'm close to the family and they might ask questions from us since we're neighbours.

The guy might be acting childish but then he also couldn't want a situation where someone he considers a brother has had sex with his wife. Honestly, I'm more inclined to lie that we never got intimate as I don't want to ruin this lady's happiness. She was a very good friend to me. But my fear is, what if he somehow finds out after they must have married that we were intimate? Is that even possible to find out? Just a bit confused coz if he does it would ruin our friendship.

Bros, nothing is hidden forever under the sun. As for finding out later, he sure will.

Question 1; Did your friend knew you slept with the girl... If Yes" then you've to tell your friend brother the truth "I mean, concerning the intimate and be so polite and be mindful of the words you use, so that you don't ruins someone happiness down...

Question 2; Is the girl still after you..
If Not" then you don't have to disclose anything to your friend brother, because is not really a big deal. and I see no reason why your friend brother wants to get some details from you, that's childishness "since the girl in question is not a virgin. So @Op, play your part and be the nice guy, because you said the girl is a good friend, well, keep this little secret of urs and it'll never breaks out If only the girl is not after you for now...

Try and contact the girl first to have some discussions with her, that would give you the idea of what to say

That's a good step too... Who knows if the girl has told him the truth already

Shigoboy:
Try and contact the girl first to have some discussions with her, that would give you the idea of what to say

Bro. Lie like your life depended on it. It will be a lie you will have to live with. But you must and should. Allow them to be happy.

Call the girl, talk to her & ask her wat she wants. Your close friend use to knw both of u together, so be careful what u tell his bro ok. We all have our dirty past but never ruin someone else's happiness, it can end up taking her life.

nobody has the right to know if you were intimate with the girl or not.you dated her so the would be husband should figure out on his own if sex actually happened.

one thing i know is that you all are acting so childish and immature.tell that guy to stop asking you silly questions and marry the girl if he wants to.

If you really look at this, you aren't related to those your family friends by blood just really close ties. So I don't get why the elder bro is asking if you guys had sex.


I suggest you don't answer his question at all afterall he knows the girl isn't a virgin whether or not you've slept with her is none of his business. You guys aren't related or anything so why is he trying to know to what extent you went with her.

Tell him as sweetly and firmly as possible that you can't answer his question so you don't get to say anything that could and would be used against you in future. Tell him that his future wife should be in a better position to tell him about it and he should learn to be able to communicate with her so he doesn't end up putting other people in awkward positions with his questions when they eventually get married. #mytwocents

Just bringing up a random old thread!

birdmansoho:
Alright ladies and gents I'm at a crossroad and need urgent opinion on what to do in this situation.

Okay, it goes thus. I've a family friend(s) that we're so close that people assume us to be blood related even though we have no blood connection. The bond is so strong that we started identifying ourselves as cousins and almost everyone thinks we're related owing to the manner we relate with either families.

So I was dating a lady in my hood, they live next to us before I travelled out of Nigeria. We dated for about 6months though we were friends for years. But as soon as I travelled I terminated all our communication flows coz I never wanted any distraction as I was determined to make something out of life before going into any affair at the time.

Long story cut short, this family friend, the one I was closest to among them coz we're of same age sent me some new pics of this girl two nights ago and asked how's the babe doing. I was surprised how he got them and asked where he got the pics from. He then said his big bro sent the pics to him and said he wants to marry the girl. He also said he told his bro that the girl was my one time girlfriend coz he knew when we were dating.

And the bro was a bit distraught when he heard that we dated and told him to ask me if we had sex and how intimate did we get. Truth is, I had sex with this girl twice before travelling. I've been evasive and unforthcoming in giving him a direct answer and he's persisting with the question. I just got missed calls from the bro himself and something is telling me he wants to ask same question as we rarely talk on phone except chats. Please what do you reckon I do, tell him or not? How do I handle this impasse.

Tell him your situation with the girl