Saw this on FB , decided to share here.... hubby with BallsFul of Ouch! ! Lol


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?" Ouch! Mehn!

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Lol!
_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale. Oh mi gosh!

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

Thatz how the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started."

After laughing really hard, dont forget to Add Urs!

my sister

vizkiz:
abeg who get matches

neva knew dey were meant to mk me laff, until I read d last line.......




9ce kopy n paste tho

lol. woman palaver

Boy: i just had an accident, i broke 6 of my ribd, my arm and my leg but jennifer took me to the hospital

Girlfriend: who is jennifer :@
Boy: i just had an accident, i broke 6 of my ribd, my arm and my leg but jennifer took me to the hospital

Girlfriend: who is jennifer :@

oshe11:
neva knew dey were meant to mk me laff, until I read d last line.......





9ce kopy n paste tho

Awww, guess u should go tru it over again!

Like from d very 1st one, since d wify refused to get down, he indirectly sort permission, drawing wisdom from d program they were watching, to call a friend( side chick),that got d wify crossed n dah roof came down

HARDDON:



Awww, guess u should go tru it over again!

Like from d very 1st one, since d wify refused to get down, he indirectly sort permission, drawing wisdom from d program they were watching, to call a friend( side chick),that got d wify crossed n dah roof came down

hahhhahahahaahhahhaahahahhahahahahahaha









guy I be waffarian ooooo


dis kinda joke too dry to mk me laff na

Nice jokes..at least it's funnier than aunty princess jokes!

oshe11:
hahhhahahahaahhahhaahahahhahahahahahaha









guy I be waffarian ooooo


dis kinda joke too dry to mk me laff na

Waffarian? Dey don't laugh easily? Did God forsake them?

Glad u did sparkle all dsame

espn:
Nice jokes..at least it's funnier than aunty princess jokes!

Can u spin any one of them on ur gurl friend let alone ur wify?
Some r really dead cocky

HARDDON:



Waffarian? Dey don't laugh easily? Did God forsake them?

Glad u did sparkle all dsame

we r natural comedians....... So lil ish like dis dnt freak us




dats y komedians frm warri r tight

Ok

oshe11:
we r natural comedians....... So lil ish like dis dnt freak us




dats y komedians frm warri r tight

Hmmmmm, what is d state's motto? Hard comedy, hard face?

If u really tight, spin a web from d original post n crack us up

HARDDON:


Hmmmmm, what is d state's motto? Hard comedy, hard face?

If u really tight, spin a web from d original post n crack us up

nah! i'm tyt bt...........

oshe11:
nah! i'm tyt bt...........

Cholls:
my sister

God please open the floor gates of heaven n let understanding rain on some people