Right now I'm in a position where I'm supposed to be married with a woman and at least a child in my household.
Sadly, that is not the case for me this moment.
I'm fully grown, reached and passed marriageable age yet the idea of keeping a relationship talk less of getting married is such a burden for me.

I'm content with a sort of solitary lifestyle and sometimes make time out to socialize by hanging out with friends or in a bar.

My problem now is I don't know how long I can keep up with this type of life and I'm yet to find a reason to seek a serious relationship that would lead to marriage.

I just don't feel the need for it.
Don't even let me get started with the sex part.
Am I even normal

The sex part I don't agree!

talktonase:
The sex part I don't agree!

What don't you agree?
Perhaps we should just leave that out.

how old are u man?

wtfCode:
how old are u man?

Gosh! Please don't make this worse for me already.

that mean you are not seriously ready to marry.cause if wanna marry you would thinking of a children with a better generation listen bro marriage is legal in kingdom of God and also a right from a parent to see their grand child.

DonChippy:

Gosh!
Please don't make this worse for me already.

u're experiencing womanphobia.
kick the fear out, take a bold step, get a nice gal and love her.
time is running out.

please just take it easy everybody want baby but sometimes the economic of the contry deprive one from it.

It depends on ur experiences from childhood. It happens to both men and women and if u a man is like this, to love a woman won't be an easy task and women in their own part crave for love like mad..even more than they give it. They rarely want to knw the cost behind showing love for a man. At the end when they find men like u with emotional imbalance, they'll conclude all men are bad. The fact is u can't give what u don't have

But u gat to help urself to change, u'll find ur own woman don't worry. Someone who'll pay back ur costly effort to show love with her tender loyalty.

Mr, its good you know that your chosen kind of lifestyle isn't really cool. But then there are so many out there like you who just love being single mainly because of the freedom that goes with being single.

This is Africa where a "normal" man is expected to get married when he attains certain age and level in life; same goea for the woman too. So people begin to see you as "abnormal " when you don't tow towards that line.

You may eventually have to settle with a woman but in this case, a matured woman who have seen life and knows all there is to marriage.
Marriage is not easy ooooo but then we still have to settle down with someone eventually.

Believe me, loneliness at old age is a very terrible thing.

So try to imagine what it will be like having a wife, i know there are lots of negative stories out there regarding marriage but you never can tell, yours may be a testimony. Just be careful and pray for guidance from God.

Good luck.




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If you are not ready for marriage, don't go into it. Marriage isn't for everyone. Its better u stay single than keep a depressed woman at home cos U don't fancy the union.

Marry whenever ur ready. Ur priorities seem different.

Thanks everyone.

I really appreciate your thoughts on this issue.

There are some salient points that were made tho'.

First is the economic situation which doesn't encourage people settling down like Goodcare said. I really don't want to bring a child to this world that would eventually suffer. Better not to even have any until one is financially buoyant enough. That's what I feel else I would have impregnated someone and organise a quick wedding like so many people do.


The part about marrying a matured woman like Cynhamcakes mentioned is a NO NO for me. Even if I'm fifty, it's likely I eventually marry a twenty year old simply because maturity isn't just about age.
It's a mental process and way of thinking. You might come across a 30 year old who still acts like a child while another 18 year old even thinks and make better decisions. For the old age part, I think all old people eventually get lonely but sometimes it's better if you have a level of wealth and comfort which would keep attracting dependants into your life.


Thanks Creamish and radicallyblunt, your words are really encouraging.

Do you have money?
Are you very rich?
Can you give out 10million naira to a woman without looking back?

Don't worry
Your looks ain't that important neither does your behaviour, the only thing that matters is give money and don't look back

Dyt:
Do you have money?
Are you very rich?
Can you give out 10million naira to a woman without looking back?

Don't worry
Your looks ain't that important neither does your behaviour, the only thing that matters is give money and don't look back

Yeah I know and that's what keeps me away from women.

DonChippy:

Yeah I know and that's what keeps me away from women.

Oh
So you don't have sef
Me I wanted to give it a trial ni

Ogbeni goan work harder jor

Dyt:
Oh So you don't have sef Me I wanted to give it a trial ni
Ogbeni goan work harder jor

Lol! I know sey na Jackass you dey find. Me sef no dey do.

If you ain't ready, you ain't ready. Don't kowtow to pressure from anyone/anywhere.

Make God happy and be happy.

DonChippy:
Right now I'm in a position where I'm supposed to be married with a woman and at least a child in my household.
Sadly, that is not the case for me this moment.
I'm fully grown, reached and passed marriageable age yet the idea of keeping a relationship talk less of getting married is such a burden for me.

I'm content with a sort of solitary lifestyle and sometimes make time out to socialize by hanging out with friends or in a bar.

My problem now is I don't know how long I can keep up with this type of life and I'm yet to find a reason to seek a serious relationship that would lead to marriage.

I just don't feel the need for it.
Don't even let me get started with the sex part.
Am I even normal

marriage is not by force if you feel its not for you then maybe you need to stop stressing about it and accept your fate. The last thing we want if for you to marry a woman you are not ready to commit to and continue to live a single man's lifestyle.

Well Marriage is a dying institution anywway.how about just having a child.you can keep or discharge the babymama if you want.its the in-thing these days.

troy20:
Well Marriage is a dying institution anywway.how about just having a child.you can keep or discharge the babymama if you want.its the in-thing these days.

To be honest, i have really considered that but i'd prefer to have an pen relationship where i would at least have some level of freedom.
Marriage sometimes make me feel like i would be a prisoner to a woman who wouldn't allow me to admire or have a rapport with any other woman i find attractive. Very few would allow that while the wedding ring feels like restricting chains.

You are right Sistercaro but it is only a matter of time before society starts to judge someone like me for remaining single.

Your case cannot be analyzed fully without knowing ur age. So I ask once again like someone did before, how old are u?

Do u knw is becos of u dat a Iady is spendin sIeepIess nite in d church prayer to God for a husband
u r an answered prayer to a gaI [i][/i]

It's better to remain single than ruin another 's life in the name of getting married for societal reasons. Marriage isn't for everyone, you can contract a surrogate for a baby , that way your freedom remains.

StPete:
Your case cannot be analyzed fully without knowing ur age. So I ask once again like someone did before, how old are u?

I don't have a case here. Let's just call it an issue worth discussing and why does my age really matter. I said I'm of marriageable age. Why does the exact figure matter to you?
Okay.
To satisfy your curiosity, I'm already 40 years old.
Are you happy now?
So what do you have to say on this?

[quote author=DonChippy post=42450319]
I don't have a case here. Let's just call it an issue worth discussing and why does my age really matter. I said I'm of marriageable age. Why does the exact figure matter to you?
Okay.
To satisfy your curiosity, I'm already 40 years old.
Are you happy now?
So what do you have to say on this?[/quote

Jeez man, at 40 I'd say you need to change ur mindset. Get a girl man, there's so much I wanna say but can't put words to paper

StPete I was only messing with you. I'm not that old.

DonChippy:

I don't have a case here. Let's just call it an issue worth discussing and why does my age really matter. I said I'm of marriageable age. Why does the exact figure matter to you?
Okay.
To satisfy your curiosity, I'm already 40 years old.
Are you happy now?
So what do you have to say on this?

wouldnt say I’m new here, have always visited nairaland as a guest, but just had to comment on this,..as I think am in a similar situation with the OP
well, my case is a slightly different because I’ve been married before (6yrs ago),…my wife died within the 1st year of our marriage. (bless her soul)… .

Now, I’m in my mid-thirties, have a reasonable job, lives quite okay,...but I just don’t feel like marrying again… and that’s what everyone don’t seem to understand.

I have dated couple of good ladies since my late wife passed, but that feeling to make the relationship permanent, isn’t just there,…I don’t seem to love any one of them…cos I don’t even want to.

Every one keep saying “I’m yet to get over my late wife”… “that I have to move on”,..but I honestly don’t think that’s the case here,..I believe I have moved past that… its just that I’m enjoying this single life over again,…and don’t wanna make that marriage commitment again,..at least not at the moment. Maybe many years down the line,...like when am 60yrs old, I might consider marrying...lol.

So mr Op, I don’t think theres anything wrong with you,.. if the thought of marriage is giving you sleepless night,..maybe marriage isn’t just for you yet, irrespective of your age. Stop losing sleep over it, enjoy your life, do whatever you want with your life, cos its yours …and you owe no one any explanation. cheers.

Thank you so much Mr Guest22, seems I know you.
@Ishilove, that meme got me cracking up. I actually typed all that while I was high on some Vodka.

DonChippy:

To be honest, i have really considered that but i'd prefer to have an pen relationship where i would at least have some level of freedom.
Marriage sometimes make me feel like i would be a prisoner to a woman who wouldn't allow me to admire or have a rapport with any other woman i find attractive. Very few would allow that while the wedding ring feels like restricting chains.

You are right Sistercaro but it is only a matter of time before society starts to judge someone like me for remaining single.

So this is your problem? Hope you'll also allow your wife admire and have rapport with men she finds attractive? So many of you want to have your cake and eat it.. keep a 'good' woman at home while living single outside. . Whenever you decide to marry, I hope you get a woman that fits you wella..

Keep running from your responsibilities, your eyes go clear when your friend's kids are already in the Uni...

DonChippy:
Thank you so much Mr Guest22, seems I know you.
@Ishilove, that meme got me cracking up. I actually typed all that while I was high on some Vodka.

Your statement shock me na