;Dsincerely I fall for frosh kidz.. Lord God is a forgiver

D Gossips. Hmmm... see what dis one wore 2 church.

Na the ones wey na to charge den sabi dey vex me pass

XXLDICK:
And you missed my type of person.

The Observers: we observe the lies the pastor dishes out to his gullible followers, and we observe the beautiful girls too

This your moniker get as e be o........

geesilver:

This your moniker get as e be o........

Na God do am, he blessed me with enough endowment

Itz only in naija church that chewing is bad. Oyibo person no stay for church, im no chew cabin, lick milkose abi chew banana chewing gum. U wan kill d man.
Africa grow up biko. Na im make sin many for africa pass the whole world. To avoid sleep, nothing bad in chewing!
My view point!

8. THE DIE HARD FANS...
Assuming their club is having a football match at 1:30pm and the church never close,they just stand up and pretend as if they want to urinate and from there,go to a nearest viewing center. This set of people are found in Celestial Church of Christ.

I'm also guilty of that too.... Make God of Oshoffa just forgive im pikin.

Where are the Celestian?? Halleluyah ooo!

Buzzboy:
I have been observing people in my church for a long time and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you find in a typical Nigerian church.

1. The first set of people are called the Bible Scholars. They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was shocked to see a brother by my side today writing everything the pastor said including the "praise the lord", "amen" e.t.c they are always waving their hands and shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.

2. The second set of people are called the talkers. All they do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly. Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a pastor on the altar shouted "Shut Up" on a girl from the
congregation out of reflex action due to her endless talking...

3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there...

4. Walkers
This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All they do is to go in and out of the church. They cant sit down comfort ably for 5 minutes. They always have something to do either to change money for offering or to buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother like that because he was always going in and out, disturbing the woman. ..

5. The Eaters
People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir member for that matter eating corn at the front row during service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn, plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had to seize her bags...

6. Frosh Kidz
this people come to church with a lo t of pride. They dress as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they don't have money. They would now start forming british accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c. They usually come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that boy/girl they have been crushing on....
Which one do you belong to?
Feel free to add yours...

Buzzboy, your post is extremely useless.

Buzzboy:
I have been observing people in my church for a long time and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you find in a typical Nigerian church.

1. The first set of people are called the Bible Scholars. They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was shocked to see a brother by my side today writing everything the pastor said including the "praise the lord", "amen" e.t.c they are always waving their hands and shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.

2. The second set of people are called the talkers. All they do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly. Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a pastor on the altar shouted "Shut Up" on a girl from the
congregation out of reflex action due to her endless talking...

3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there...

4. Walkers
This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All they do is to go in and out of the church. They cant sit down comfort ably for 5 minutes. They always have something to do either to change money for offering or to buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother like that because he was always going in and out, disturbing the woman. ..

5. The Eaters
People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir member for that matter eating corn at the front row during service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn, plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had to seize her bags...

6. Frosh Kidz
this people come to church with a lo t of pride. They dress as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they don't have money. They would now start forming british accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c. They usually come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that boy/girl they have been crushing on....
Which one do you belong to?
Feel free to add yours...

The bolded got me laughing

The 7th kind of person: THE OBSERVER.

He always observes other people and wont pay attention to the word of God.
After service, he comes on nairaland to share his observation.

looseweight:
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Buzzboy:
3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there..

lol. Am in this class buhsha ah no dey sleep but the usher go just kon teh me say ah dey sleep

You missed the hunters,.

These are the set of people who come to church only to hunt for pretty ladies to seat with or talk to, in the hopes of hooking up