Women are wonderful creatures, aren't they? 

Sometimes when a guy keeps "chasing" a lady after she has repeatedly turned down his advances, you might hear her say, "Some men can be so annoying!!! I just don't understand why this guy keeps pestering me even when I've told him over and over again that I'm not interested. What's his headache?!!!"

At another time, when another guy decides to let her be after the initial refusal, you might hear the same lady say, "Not that I didn't fancy him. I just I wanted to know if he was serious. If he was, he should have tried harder."

Hmmm. . .So, how does a guy know when your no means NO, and when it means TRY HARDER!?

I need tips, ladies!

Look at it this way bro, if u r in naija and u r not goodlooking, and u have no job, no house, no car, but u have good prospects. . . Chances are u will get this sort of response from girls at first but they may change if they see some seriousness in u. In this case, NO can become YES.

However, if u r in the western countries, a fine boy, have a super job, a sports car, your own crib - worth £10m, can control cashflow, and a guest of honour at any major function. . . If the girl says NO, then No means NO - No questions about it, because in minutes u can be reduced from your high horse to a tramp.

@ Whitelexi, that's sarcasm, right?

Biola, talk (abi na type) not wink!

well i want to believe when she says no, it means no.

"Some men can be so annoying!!!
when it gets to this stage, then i think its a definite no.

well i want to believe when she says no, it means no.

Izeek, so what if she's just "playing hard to get" and wants to know if you're serious?

why test ppl to prove ur point.
here again its only immature ladies thatwud wanna play such games,
and i dont mix with such ppl.
if i am to ask a lady out, i must have known her for a while and also her xter.
if she turns out to be immature, then i suppose she is just not the type for me.

gen2genius:

@ Whitelexi, that's sarcasm, right?

Biola, talk (abi na type) not wink!

Honestly. . . The part about the west is not sacarstic. Even if she has been saying YES YES YES, but just as you're about to put your thingie into her she changes it to NO, bros stop right there, cos its a bridge between u walking free and u having a criminal record.

Yeah, really depends on the girl, attitudes differ amongst societies if we are talking generally

@Topic
When It's said in words and in actions.

@iice,
i have always wonderd why ppl wud stall on something they also want.
my take aniways.

!@iice,
does society influence/ peers mean one has to act immature.
i see this as just being not suitable for a r/s.
if a lady can't not take a simple decision at the point when its necessary,
she comes across as confused, immature or basically not ready.

when you are about to enter her, i mean when your di ck is bare and about to enter her pu ssy and all you can hear in your ears are no no no, then listen properly, cos she means it, she actually means, no, no, no, AIDS is real, AIDS is real.

when i say NO i mean a clear and resounding NO

dont have time for idiots and cetainly NOT STALKERS

The question is does she say no with a but?

for instance:

Will: Mary will you go out with me?
Mary: No but you can call to discuss?

That means try harder.

If there is a but she will let you know what that "but" is.

If there is no but then stay away.

Luxoire, so any man who tries again after getting a "no" from you is an "idiot"?

Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man. Many women believe saying "yes" immediately is a sign of desperation


Sistawoman, what's there to discuss after saying "No"?

gen2genius:

Luxoire, so any man who tries again after getting a "no" from you is an "idiot"?

Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man. Many women believe saying "yes" immediately is a sign of desperation

Sistawoman, what's there to discuss after saying "No"?

You answered your own question above in bold.

Really? That means you're of the school of thought that a woman should first say no (if she's interested), but there should be a "but"?

Actually I believe in the "wooing" thing too; but, unlike you, not all women who want to be wooed add "but" to their "no." In fact, some could sound hostile; yet they crave being wooed. So any other indications that a lady wants you to try harder, apart from the instance you gave? Because without knowing the signs, you might just misinterprete her response

gen2genius:

Luxoire, so any man who tries again after getting a "no" from you is an "idiot"?

Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man. Many women believe saying "yes" immediately is a sign of desperation


Sistawoman, what's there to discuss after saying "No"?

yes, because i am the type that will NOT say NO unless i meant NO. If i still think there is a possibility that i mayv get to like you - then i will keep things open and say 'let's see how things go - no rush' but i will not come out with a definitive NO.

So yes any man that oersists after a NO from me, is sadly a no brainer in my books

Okay. But what do you think of my previous post:

"Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man." 

The man who persist after your first "no" may not necessarily be an idiot. He may be having the same mentality as stated above. And there's no way he could have known that you don't follow the "wooing/playing hard to get" rule, since many women only say "yes," after many attempts by a man

I think the confusion here is a cultural thing.

Most girls in naija will do that initial gragra thingie with a guy by saying no when they know they might change that in future, but u dont get that with most girls in europe or other continents. . . If they like u, they will even come to u and make conversation, but if u approach them and they say no, then it means no.

whitelexi:

I think the confusion here is a cultural thing.

Most girls in naija will do that initial gragra thingie with a guy by saying no when they know they might change that in future, but u dont get that with most girls in europe or other continents. . . If they like u, they will even come to u and make conversation, but if u approach them and they say no, then it means no.

thank you jarre!!

I think I have a clearer understanding of the situation now.

So now, NIGERIAN ladies, when does your "no" mean NO!!! LOL

All the posts and replies only serve to show what many men have always known.

Women generally are quite inconsistent - Some say "No and mean a resounding No, Some say "No" with "but", Some say "No", and mean Yes, some say "No", but mean "try harder". Some even say "Yes", but it means No!

Conclusion - Woe betide any man who takes what a woman says literally. Most Women themselves don't know when "No" is really "No", as it can mean, and change to anything else later

Can't really blame them sometimes.

Romeo, that's EXACTLY the point I'm trying to figure out


@ibkaye: Why?

In Nigeria's society, you will find that ladies on occasions are looked down upon and seen as 'cheap' if they sound too desperate or what have you, for example, if she accepts a toasting 'way too quickly' she may be seen as cheap, sort of like the unwritten rules of how to play 'the game', not everyone's going to be happy, that's just the way it is and I doubt it will change any time from now, sorry folks.

But at the same time, ladies should do these things with moderation, know where to draw the line on the 'hard to get' tactics, it just isn't cute after way too much and too long