Yes, that’s right. Every year I go out of my way to plan the least romantic Valentine’s Day possible. I am, in fact, in charge of Valentine’s Day in my household. It’s been this way since the first Valentine’s Day after I met my husband.

Back then (what was this, 2004? 2003? I can’t even remember my memory is slipping in my old age), a date meant that we were meeting at 10 p.m. to go dancing at Star Shoes or Skaties or some other Hollywood night club that has since ceased to exist. As Valentine’s Day approached, Carleton became visibly uncomfortable when the topic came up. One night, as we did some young childless-person thing like sitting at a bar, I asked him what his thoughts were about the impending love-day. He was gentle, but honest in telling me that he just thought it was an unfair holiday.

Unfair? Tell me more.

He went on to explain that it is supposed to be a holiday about love and romance, but really it seemed more like a holiday designed to test men. A sort of pass-or-fail exam in which a man was supposed to offer up a sort of romance that many dudes just don’t really enjoy all that much, while women wait to see if they will be disappointed. He added that this same type of holiday really came around twice a year, once on February 14th, then again on whatever anniversary the couple celebrates. So really, these celebrations of love amounted to one-way transactions from men to women, tainted with expectation and stress on both sides.

I thought this was pretty fair. And it’s also fair to mention that I was open to this statement because my husband (boyfriend at the time) is very romantic. When it comes to birthdays and Hanukkah and just random thoughtfulness, he is always on-point. I get a handwritten card professing his love for me on every birthday, accompanied by a thoughtful gift (he got me a bronze globe for Christmas! A pair of vintage green bejeweled drop earrings for my birthday! Marc Jacobs shoes to say thank you for taking our daughter Scarlet on a whirlwind summer road trip!). The reality is that back then... Continue on>> http://www.gloo.ng/busyhomemaker/how-an-un-romantic-valentines-day-saves-my-marriage-every-year/