I almost couldn't believe this when it happened to me, I now knew that life is more than how I see it. Some people can be so extreme in their approach which even makes their proposal 'yuckier' than it already is. Oya let me skip the intro and go straight to the story because I can already hear you thinking ehn what exactly happened, lol.

Now, if you know me to some extent, you'd know I schooled in the Rebublic of Benin, Cotonou precisely. Cotonou is known for their very cheap stuff, even I get clothes as cheap as 100 naira (shh, tell no one). My mom knew this and decided to come and take advantage of that quality so she came on that fateful day.

I was being lectured when I got her call so I had to excuse myself from the class to receive her call. I called my bestfriend, Bisi to go meet her since she wasn't having any class at the time and would probably get there before me as I didn't want to delay my mom because she was going to leave as soon as she was done shopping. I left school for the market. On getting there, she was done buying because she had a customer I was like "ahn ahn sharp sharp", so she concluded her deals and left.

Bestie was pregnant at the time and had been craving some very funny things. That's how she said she wanted peppersoup that morning, I mean, who sells or eats peppersoup in the morning. I was free at the time because my next class was by 3 and it was about 11 then so I said no wahala, let's peppersoup hunt. We first went somewhere to share a plate of eba (I like food but bestie eats as if her life depended on it and it got worse when she was pregnant). When we were eating, one guy approached us, he was one of the guys that sold to my mom so we were cool.  Bisi asked if he knew anywhere we could get peppersoup, he said he'd take us there. Bisi said no, "if you can't describe it, then leave (I'm very mean but she's meaner)". We finished our food then left to continue our hunt but this guy didn't leave us alone, he kept following us. He said he'd take us there and even pay, we said "we don't need you to pay (too much money *pops collar*) we can pay for ourselves, you can go back now because you've been far too kind".

This guy remained unflinched as if we weren't saying anything at all. He persisted and she gave up and said "okay, you'd take us there but we don't need you to pay", she turned to me and asked "abi?" I said "yes, he should take us there". So we took bikes and off we went. Lest I forget, Bisi's pregnancy wasn't obvious at the time. We got there and he paid the bikes (the place was far ehn). We entered the almost-empty place and sat, he spoke igbo to the attendant in a way that made us believe he was asking for the peppersoup so we remained calm and glanced at each other regularly, I mean I and Bisi.

After a while, we realised he didn't even ask the attendant anything, he was probably just exchanging pleasantries with him. We decided to ask him ourselves, the guy said there was no peppersoup as expected because it's hard to find that in the morning. He got us drinks. This guy I later saved his number as 'dumb dude' kept a straight face all through, no smiles at all, not even a fake one. We all started talking and all, he kept a straight face still. I was sitting across him while Bisi was sitting by the right side of the table so she was by my side. He told us how he liked both of us especially me.

All of a sudden, I just felt his hand under the table putting something into my hand, it was money. I quickly brought it up to the top of the table for the whole world to see, I asked him "what's this for?", he then said "I want you girls to make me happy", I and Bisi exchanged glances, it was 40 thousand cfa equivalent to errr say 13 thousand naira at the time. I did the talking again and asked "how do you want us to make you happy?", he replied "you know how to make a man happy". Being a very straightforward person, I asked "you want us to sleep with you?", he said "I didn't say that but I'm sure you know how to make a man happy".

I thought for some seconds and said "you want us to sleep with each other while you watch?". I couldn't possibly think of any other way two girls can make a strange guy happy without sex especially when he already paid upfront for whatever it is that would make him happy. He replied "God forbid!", I said "I'm wondering how so I thought you might want a lesbian thingy, don't know though so tell us how do you want us to make you happy?"

Bisi finally finished with whatever she was thinking and without letting the dumb dude tell us what he really meant blurted out "what kind of rubbish is that, we don't sleep with people for money". As if reading her mind, he responded "So? Other girls do it all the time, what's there, if you people think the money is too small, I can add to it". I thought to myself "this guy is really serious" so I smiled and said "sorry, you're talking to the wrong people, we don't do stuffs like that". I gave him his money but he refused, in my mind I was already thinking about how many clothes and shoes I can buy with twenty thousand cfa just incase he generously leaves his money.
 
Bisi said "we don't want", he replied "you girls need someone to take care of you", I said "we don't need you to do that, we're fine already". I gave him the money but this time he collected it, my guy didn't waste time at all, guess he's not so dumb when it comes to money as an igbo guy that he is (no offence oo igbo people but you know it's the truth).

While all this went on, I and Bisi shared another plate of foofoo (no time) in place of the peppersoup we couldn't get. He paid the bills (reluctantly though) in a way that showed he felt cheated because apparently he wasted his money but we exchanged contacts which is why I could save his contact as 'dumb dude'. We left the place, got on bikes, he paid and collected change. I was off to school and Bisi went home. Our departure didn't put an end to his persistence though, he called almost everyday inviting me over to his place and reminding me that he had plenty money to spend because I was the one he wanted. This happened in the month of December, 2013 and I had many more experiences after this but this was the first direct and major one I had.


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Hmmmn

Long Epistle, someone pls summarise jawe

Is this a novel?