Jonathan2787:
audrey you have a great talent as a writer i have followed most of your stories and i like them all, but this particular one is kinda deviating from the original way it started, because i visualize everything i read and am connecting with the characters but the way gio talk to his twin is not supposed to be so, it makes it so unreal and makes the story loose its originality, i don't believe in ghosts but i can attest to the fact that anyone talking to a ghost all day long is a nut job and a weirdo and its unreal for people to be drooling over a weirdo like that, so I'll appreciate if you hardly talk about dano, and that nkiru also seems unreal because even if shes a saint dont u think she should soften her stiff personality? She's from a poor home doesn't mean she cant dress fine, i recall hassana bought her some clothes shouldn't she Atleast look good, her poor could she be that she doesn't have any nice clothes but doesn't feel bad and behave like a robot without feelings, everyone wants the good things of life thats a more reason why she should accept gifts or help, i am a student and i can imagine the lives of people in a school setting, her character needs a little improvement, shes too unrealistic just like gio.

Wow! I'm sorry i laughed when i was through reading your comment. Not because it was funny but because i wasnt expecting criticism in those aspects.

Most of my stories? I have only shared three stories with the public. This one and Unfulfilled Promises and Waiting for the bouquet which is even on sale.

Okay, let's get down to the points you made. First and foremost, i must commend you on your attention to details. I love that in my readers. Secondly, please remember that the story is still a fictional piece despite the fact that i've tried to make it look very real. Thirdly, i agree with you, Gio is a total nut job but he isn't your everyday pyscho. Something happened to him (please don't let me

choi
I go love ooooooo.
where is my own gio to sweep me off my feet?
nice story line.

Audrey Audrey Audrey u re the best of best ....thank you :PAudrey Audrey Audrey u re the best of best ....thank you

AudreyTimms:

Wow! I'm sorry i laughed when i was through reading your comment. Not because it was funny but because i wasnt expecting criticism in those aspects.

Most of my stories? I have only shared three stories with the public. This one and Unfulfilled Promises and Waiting for the bouquet which is even on sale.

Okay, let's get down to the points you made. First and foremost, i must commend you on your attention to details. I love that in my readers. Secondly, please remember that the story is still a fictional piece despite the fact that i've tried to make it look very real. Thirdly, i agree with you, Gio is a total nut job but he isn't your everyday pyscho. Something happened to him (please don't let me

yeah i said most of your story because anytime i see a story you authored i must read it, this is your third story here am aware, so pardon my use of most, secondly i know its fiction but strive to make it real because i visualize stories when i read and making it look like a fairytale takes the fun out of it, and your last update is cool, i posted my comment before reading it and i must say am impressed because you adjusted in the areas i talked about so tnx and keep it up, mind you i pay attention to every details and my criticism is not because you are a bad writter its because i love your style.

Jonathan2787:
audrey you have a great talent as a writer i have followed most of your stories and i like them all, but this particular one is kinda deviating from the original way it started, because i visualize everything i read and am connecting with the characters but the way gio talk to his twin is not supposed to be so, it makes it so unreal and makes the story loose its originality, i don't believe in ghosts but i can attest to the fact that anyone talking to a ghost all day long is a nut job and a weirdo and its unreal for people to be drooling over a weirdo like that, so I'll appreciate if you hardly talk about dano, and that nkiru also seems unreal because even if shes a saint dont u think she should soften her stiff personality? She's from a poor home doesn't mean she cant dress fine, i recall hassana bought her some clothes shouldn't she Atleast look good, her poor could she be that she doesn't have any nice clothes but doesn't feel bad and behave like a robot without feelings, everyone wants the good things of life thats a more reason why she should accept gifts or help, i am a student and i can imagine the lives of people in a school setting, her character needs a little improvement, shes too unrealistic just like gio.

Wow! I'm sorry i laughed when i was through reading your comment. Not because it was funny but because i wasn't expecting criticism in those aspects.


Most of my stories? I have only shared three stories with the public. This one and Unfulfilled Promises and Waiting for the bouquet which is even on sale.


Okay, let's get down to the points you made. First and foremost, i must commend you on your attention to details. I love that in my readers. Secondly, please remember that the story is still a fictional piece despite the fact that i've tried to make it look very real. Thirdly, i agree with you, Gio is a total nut job but he isn't your everyday pyscho. Something happened to him (please don't make me let the cat out of the bag) Unlike crazy people who need medications to get them sane again, his case is different. And hello, i believe in ghosts. I've had some personal experiences and done some deep research, hence my boldness in being able to write on such. As for still being drooled over, please! They don't see him as a weirdo but as a snob and an arrogant guy. Only Tosin knows he's one. And when the rumour went round of him being gay and crazy, they stopped until Nkiru came into the picture.


As for Nkiru and her mode of dressing, please remember she is surrounded by rich kids who always dress in designers ensemble. To a poor person, there's nothing wrong with Nkiru's clothes or mode of dressing. And i didn't want to let this out yet but part of Nkiru's side of the story isn't fiction. There really was a girl who was too proud (not a saint) in her poor state to collect hand me downs from friends. Not me sha. She felt she was already being talked about so wearing her friends' clothes would only worsen the talk. But hey, when Nkiru found love, she started dressing better, right? As for her robotic style, haven't you met a phelgmatic before? They are masters in hiding their true feelings but i will work on her. That reminds me. Gio is also real. I mean there really is a drop dead gorgeous Gio who is an arrogant snob but not a wierdo who also has an equally drop dead gorgeous cousin but a sweetheart. And yes, girls made a**es of themselves over them and wrote their notes for them. But unfortunately real Nkiru didn't fall for real Gio nor his cousin. I decided to do that. Yes, girls will drool over you when you have the looks, money, class even though you're sick upstairs. That's why you hear so many murder cases these day. Real Nkiru's story inspired me to write this. I will invite her here someday to back my statement.

Well, i must say it has been fun trying to argue these points with you. Please let's do this again. But please the story is just starting. Slow and steady is usually how i play. We haven't gotten half way yet. So please keep your fingers crossed with an open mind. Please feel free to place more criticism. Thanks dear

Jonathan2787:
yeah i said most of your story because anytime i see a story you authored i must read it, this is your third story here am aware, so pardon my use of most, secondly i know its fiction but strive to make it real because i visualize stories when i read and making it look like a fairytale takes the fun out of it, and your last update is cool, i posted my comment before reading it and i must say am impressed because you adjusted in the areas i talked about so tnx and keep it up, mind you i pay attention to every details and my criticism is not because you are a bad writter its because i love your style.

Sorry, i'd not finished typing what i had in mind and i didn't know i mistakenly sent the half-baked bread. I sincerely appreciate your criticism. It's going to keep me on my toes. Please continue paying attention to details. Thanking you

AudreyTimms:

Wow! I'm sorry i laughed when i was through reading your comment. Not because it was funny but because i wasn't expecting criticism in those aspects.


Most of my stories? I have only shared three stories with the public. This one and Unfulfilled Promises and Waiting for the bouquet which is even on sale.


Okay, let's get down to the points you made. First and foremost, i must commend you on your attention to details. I love that in my readers. Secondly, please remember that the story is still a fictional piece despite the fact that i've tried to make it look very real. Thirdly, i agree with you, Gio is a total nut job but he isn't your everyday pyscho. Something happened to him (please don't make me let the cat out of the bag) Unlike crazy people who need medications to get them sane again, his case is different. And hello, i believe in ghosts. I've had some personal experiences and done some deep research, hence my boldness in being able to write on such. As for still being drooled over, please! They don't see him as a weirdo but as a snob and an arrogant guy. Only Tosin knows he's one. And when the rumour went round of him being gay and crazy, they stopped until Nkiru came into the picture.


As for Nkiru and her mode of dressing, please remember she is surrounded by rich kids who always dress in designers ensemble. To a poor person, there's nothing wrong with Nkiru's clothes or mode of dressing. And i didn't want to let this out yet but part of Nkiru's side of the story isn't fiction. There really was a girl who was too proud (not a saint) in her poor state to collect hand me downs from friends. Not me sha. She felt she was already being talked about so wearing her friends' clothes would only worsen the talk. But hey, when Nkiru found love, she started dressing better, right? As for her robotic style, haven't you met a phelgmatic before? They are masters in hiding their true feelings but i will work on her. That reminds me. Gio is also real. I mean there really is a drop dead gorgeous Gio who is an arrogant snob but not a wierdo who also has an equally drop dead gorgeous cousin but a sweetheart. And yes, girls made a**es of themselves over them and wrote their notes for them. But unfortunately real Nkiru didn't fall for real Gio nor his cousin. I decided to do that. Yes, girls will drool over you when you have the looks, money, class even though you're sick upstairs. That's why you hear so many murder cases these day. Real Nkiru's story inspired me to write this. I will invite her here someday to back my statement.

Well, i must say it has been fun trying to argue these points with you. Please let's do this again. But please the story is just starting. Slow and steady is usually how i play. We haven't gotten half way yet. So please keep your fingers crossed with an open mind. Please feel free to place more criticism. Thanks dear

wao they are real? well i will just see how things turn out and you're welcome

Teespice:
choi

I go love ooooooo.

where is my own gio to sweep me off my feet?

nice story line.

Lol. He's on his way

bellefidel:
Audrey Audrey Audrey u re the best of best ....thank you :PAudrey Audrey Audrey u re the best of best ....thank you

Thanks dear

AudreyTimms:

You're welcome. Audrey means 'Noble strength'. (You made me go look it up) It's actually a pen name.

Ooo dear,thanks alot and sorry for putting you through the stress of checking it out. Your pen name huh? likey

Izyyblaze:

Ooo dear,thanks alot and sorry for putting you through the stress of checking it out. Your pen name huh? likey

Thanks for making her do it. I wondered too.

Hey Audrey! Hv misssssssssed uuuuuu! Now let me go and start reading#hurries to page 1#

audreytimms?! definitely following this

am darn bored i wish Audrey can post a little something

Izyyblaze:

Ooo dear,thanks alot and sorry for putting you through the stress of checking it out. Your pen name huh? likey

It's alright. At least, i now know the meaning.

fruitfulwoman:

Thanks for making her do it. I wondered too.

Really?

Jonathan2787:
am darn bored i wish Audrey can post a little something

Lol. Been busy all day. When i type in a hurry, i make a lot of grammatical and typographical errors. So i'm doing a little editing. Please stay tuned.

AudreyTimms:

Lol. Been busy all day. When i type in a hurry, i make a lot of grammatical and typographical errors. So i'm doing a little editing. Please stay tuned.

feel good now that i know you got something up your sleeve

CHAPTER SIX

It's hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I've learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place.
--Angelina Jolie

Episode 11

THE posh restaurant was noisy. Students and teachers alike moved about the large place with trays containing different dishes and drinks. Soft music filtered from the plasma televisions placed against the wall from two locations. The two occupants of one of the round marble-top tables visible in the place were locked in an animated conversation while the third was silent as he watched the other two with narrowed eyes containing a mixture of anger, jealousy and misery.

Gio was miffed that his girlfriend was ignoring him. She was all smiles and laughter for Tosin who was seated beside him while he was being treated like an outcast, the proverbial third wheel. She scooped a spoonful of fried rice garnished with coleslaw in her mouth and chewed softly before continuing her lively conversation with Tosin. And the idioti.c roommate of his didn't notice that she was ignoring him, her boyfriend. Tosin lapped up her smiles like a dog enjoying a bowl of milk.

Gio's teeth gritted. He knew why Nkiru was ignoring him. After being his girlfriend in the real sense of the word for almost three months, he knew everything about her. Her mood swings when he behaved abominably--according to her--usually grated on his nerves. Didn't she realise that he'd ignored her so-called friends because they weren't really her friends? They'd scurried out of the woodwork and included her in their circle simply because she was connected to him and dressed better now. He couldn't tell her that for her not to feel bad. He'd fought a classical world war with her before she'd allowed him change her entire wardrobe and bathe her with gifts. She'd felt he was ashamed of her but he'd reminded her that he had fallen in love with her just the way she was. The clothes and gifts were just a way of expressing his love. He had to explain why he never got her anything when they were pretend dating; she would have taken it as payment for her kindness.

He called her name to get her attention. She paused in mid-sentence as if she was trying to remember something but continued as if he'd not spoken. Tosin, the foo.l, grinned as if he'd won a lottery. Gio's eyes narrowed to slits. Two wannabes who were dressed to test a man's libido walked up to their table. They greeted him, Nkiru and Tosin. Tosin and Nkiru replied. Gio, for the life of him couldn't open his mouth to reply them. When they left, Nkiru stood fluidly, picked her black Prada purse and her Iphone on the table, said goodbye to Tosin and walked away.

"Luna...Luna...Nk." Gio called but he might as well be talking to himself. Head held in a regal position, his girlfriend, who was looking resplendent on a dress top and lace leggings with flat gold and grey Gucci sandals walked out of the restaurant.

Gio sighed and fixed his angry gaze on Tosin who was grinning broadly.

"You do realise you're a foo.l, don't you?" he asked as a matter of fact.

His rommate gave a bark of laughter but sobered up quickly when he noticed Fiorella entering the restaurant. Fi, the diva, was of course looking sensational in a Mini Bodycon dress in all over stripe teamed with ankle-length Dunhill boots and a Saint Laurent medium monogramme croc-embossed shoulder bag on her shoulder. Tosin's countenance became that of one who was seeing his late ancestor. Gio looked from his sister who was about to sit with her whorish friend, Jessica at a table close to the restaurant's entrance to Tosin who was trying his best not to glance in her direction. Something was going on here. He couldn't place his finger on it but he knew something wasn't right. He had noticed the stilted way Tosin and Fi responded to each other's greetings recently. The air sizzled with tension whenever they were within two feet of each other. 

"Tosin," he began but was cut off by his friend who scrapped his chair back and got up. He unhooked his black jacket from the chair.

"I haven't finished my assignment and you know we're to submit it tomorrow. I'll see you later." Tosin put his hands in his pockets and tried his best not to look at Fi who was in his line of vision as he walked out. 

Gio's eyebrows nearly hit his hairline when Fi pretended as if she was talking to Jessica but her gaze followed Tosin to the door. His eyes widened when his sister rose gracefully and took rapid steps to the door. 

Tosin hit his hand against the wall of the restaurant when he got outside into the moonless night. He was in deep trouble. He took slow steps from the place until he heard his name being softly called and turned around slowly. His eyes roved the petite beauty with disgust.

"What do you want?"

Fi rubbed her wet palms together and with pleading eyes said, "You won't tell him, will you?"

With a deep frown, Tosin eyed her and was about moving away but she held his hand. When she beheld the smoking fury in his eyes from the streetlight, she let him go. Her heart was thudding a frantic drumbeat behind her ribcage. She felt charged with a sensation disturbingly akin to humongous fear.

"Please." The whisper was softly spoken.

With venom in his eyes, Tosin walked away and was soon lost in the crowd of moving students. 

"Oh, God!" With a hand to her mouth, Fiorella hunched, unaware that her brother was watching her from behind. Her teeth sank into the soft underside of her lower lip and she tasted the sweet tang of her own blood when what she most wanted was Tosin's to keep him from talking.

"Fi," came the soft call behind her. Her head snapped up and she took deep breaths in trying to steady her nerves while staring straight ahead without minding the students who were walking to and fro and wondering why she'd taken the pose of a statue.

"Fi," Gio called again and held her arm. He made to turn her around but she yanked her hand from his.

"What is it?" She pasted fierce eyes on him. He was to blame for everything.

Gio grew alarmed. Fiorella had never ever spoken to him this way before. Was it that time of the month?

"What's going on between you and Tosin?"

"Oh, so you've finally realised I exist. Nkiru no longer around to lick your a**, hmm?" she sarcastically threw at her brother.

"Don't talk to me like that, Fi." Gio's eyes were getting darker.

Fi put her hands on her waist and drew her head back to look up at him and gave a soundless laugh. "Why shouldn't I talk to you like that? After all, you're just a stranger to me," she slammed back at him with angry emphasis.

Gio raised his hands to shake the nonsense out of his sister but thought against it. He dropped his hands slowly. His teeth were clenched however.

"Don't toy with my friends. You have enough dummies chasing you. Leave my friends out of it," Gio pronounced with care.

"Since you don't own my life, I'll do whatever I want," she responded curtly and tried brushing past him but he held her hand.

In dangerously low tones, he whispered into her ears. "Don't test me, Fiorella."

Tears wet Fi's eyes. She couldn't remember the last time Gio had used her full name. They hadn't had this sibling rivalry in a long while. She really didn't want to fight with him but she was so angry and bitter at him all because of his girlfriend. 

A part of her heart cracked and along came the rest, piece by delicate piece. "Why couldn't I make you smile? Why wasn't I the one who brought back the musical sound of your laughter. Why wasn't I the one to soften the contours of your face? Ever since Dano died, I've been trying to be like Mum to you but you've never noticed but she...she..." Tears clogged her vocal cords. Gio dropped his sister's hand slowly.

Gosh! Two female tantrums in one day? How had his life become so dramatic? He brushed her tears away with his fingers, took her hand and led her to his favorite spot with his girlfriend-- the stone benches.

He sat down and made her sit also before putting his arm around her. She placed her head on his shoulder and snuggled closer to his warmth.

He kissed the top of her sweet-smelling artificial hair. "I never asked you to be Mum. You're my sister and I love you that way. I don't need another mother. Mum will always maintain that position in my heart."

Fi sniffed. "I just want us to go back to the way we used to be."

"But that's impossible, Fi. We've lost two members of our family. Things can never be the same again but I'll try my best to make it close."

"All these because of her? Is it any wonder that I'm jealous of her?"

Gio chuckled. "You don't have to be jealous of her, Fi."

"Why? She's just after your money."

"Dad's money you mean. She doesn't know anything about mine. Fi, Luna...I mean, Nkiru is...she's my Luna."

Fi lifted her head to glance at her brother. "Your moon?"

"Yeah."

Gio saw a flash and heard a click behind him but when he turned around, he saw no one. Fi snuggled closer to him and he rested his head on hers. Fi smiled. Just like the good old days. Well, she had something to thank that tramp for. This hadn't happened in years.

You can try using a browser like uc to post

Okay. I think AudreyTimms has stepped on some toes or something because i just logged in using a friend's account and everything is normal but with the Audrey Timms' account, there's no reply button for posting. No worries, i'll post using this account until the problem is rectified. Thanks everyone for your patience. Thanks Jonathan2787.

Audrey Timms

halfcaste1:
Okay. I think AudreyTimms has stepped on some toes or something because i just logged in using a friend's account and everything is normal but with the Audrey Timms' account, there's no reply button for posting. No worries, i'll post using this account until the problem is rectified. Thanks everyone for your patience. Thanks Jonathan2787.

Audrey Timms

wao this made me feel special, i feel flattered by this special attention am getting

CHAPTER SIX

It's hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I've learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place.
--Angelina Jolie

Episode 11

THE posh restaurant was noisy. Students and teachers alike moved about the large place with trays containing different dishes and drinks. Soft music filtered from the plasma televisions placed against the wall from two locations. The two occupants of one of the round marble-top tables visible in the place were locked in an animated conversation while the third was silent as he watched the other two with narrowed eyes containing a mixture of anger, jealousy and misery.

Gio was miffed that his girlfriend was ignoring him. She was all smiles and laughter for Tosin who was seated beside him while he was being treated like an outcast, the proverbial third wheel. She scooped a spoonful of fried rice garnished with coleslaw in her mouth and chewed softly before continuing her lively conversation with Tosin. And the idioti.c roommate of his didn't notice that she was ignoring him, her boyfriend. Tosin lapped up her smiles like a dog enjoying a bowl of milk.

Gio's teeth gritted. He knew why Nkiru was ignoring him. After being his girlfriend in the real sense of the word for almost three months, he knew everything about her. Her mood swings when he behaved abominably--according to her--usually grated on his nerves. Didn't she realise that he'd ignored her so-called friends because they weren't really her friends? They'd scurried out of the woodwork and included her in their circle simply because she was connected to him and dressed better now. He couldn't tell her that for her not to feel bad. He'd fought a classical world war with her before she'd allowed him change her entire wardrobe and bathe her with gifts. She'd felt he was ashamed of her but he'd reminded her that he had fallen in love with her just the way she was. The clothes and gifts were just a way of expressing his love. He had to explain why he never got her anything when they were pretend dating; she would have taken it as payment for her kindness.

He called her name to get her attention. She paused in mid-sentence as if she was trying to remember something but continued as if he'd not spoken. Tosin, the foo.l, grinned as if he'd won a lottery. Gio's eyes narrowed to slits. Two wannabes who were dressed to test a man's libido walked up to their table. They greeted him, Nkiru and Tosin. Tosin and Nkiru replied. Gio, for the life of him couldn't open his mouth to reply them. When they left, Nkiru stood fluidly, picked her black Prada purse and her Iphone on the table, said goodbye to Tosin and walked away.

"Luna...Luna...Nk." Gio called but he might as well be talking to himself. Head held in a regal position, his girlfriend, who was looking resplendent on a dress top and lace leggings with flat gold and grey Gucci sandals walked out of the restaurant.

Gio sighed and fixed his angry gaze on Tosin who was grinning broadly.

"You do realise you're a foo.l, don't you?" he asked as a matter of fact.

His rommate gave a bark of laughter but sobered up quickly when he noticed Fiorella entering the restaurant. Fi, the diva, was of course looking sensational in a Mini Bodycon dress in all over stripe teamed with ankle-length Dunhill boots and a Saint Laurent medium monogramme croc-embossed shoulder bag on her shoulder. Tosin's countenance became that of one who was seeing his late ancestor. Gio looked from his sister who was about to sit with her whorish friend, Jessica at a table close to the restaurant's entrance to Tosin who was trying his best not to glance in her direction. Something was going on here. He couldn't place his finger on it but he knew something wasn't right. He had noticed the stilted way Tosin and Fi responded to each other's greetings recently. The air sizzled with tension whenever they were within two feet of each other.

"Tosin," he began but was cut off by his friend who scrapped his chair back and got up. He unhooked his black jacket from the chair.

"I haven't finished my assignment and you know we're to submit it tomorrow. I'll see you later." Tosin put his hands in his pockets and tried his best not to look at Fi who was in his line of vision as he walked out.

Gio's eyebrows nearly hit his hairline when Fi pretended as if she was talking to Jessica but her gaze followed Tosin to the door. His eyes widened when his sister rose gracefully and took rapid steps to the door.

Tosin hit his hand against the wall of the restaurant when he got outside into the moonless night. He was in deep trouble. He took slow steps from the place until he heard his name being softly called and turned around slowly. His eyes roved the petite beauty with disgust.

"What do you want?"

Fi rubbed her wet palms together and with pleading eyes said, "You won't tell him, will you?"

With a deep frown, Tosin eyed her and was about moving away but she held his hand. When she beheld the smoking fury in his eyes from the streetlight, she let him go. Her heart was thudding a frantic drumbeat behind her ribcage. She felt charged with a sensation disturbingly akin to humongous fear.

"Please." The whisper was softly spoken.

With venom in his eyes, Tosin walked away and was soon lost in the crowd of moving students.

I no understand again o

More please...Good job audreytimms

Guys i am sorry to announce that our dedicated Audrey won't be able to post anymore because she's been having serious issues with nairaland which caused her to open a new account which she posted the short update with but sadly her problems still persist, thanks to nairaland so Audrey asked me to appologize on her behalf and expect an update once this issue has been ressolved, thanks for your understanding and have a wonderful night

nairaland, weldone o, u don start again ba? u do well

Which kind nairaland be dis self. Una no de see better thing with una eye or wat. Can you people tell me wat audrey did to una now. Na wa oooooooooooonooo