1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings,
there are 3 Dispensations of Power.


2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the
family (father, mother, children) where power
indisputably rest with the father.


3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started
working when the power shifts to the mother.


4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the
family house or start their own families when the
power moves to the children.


6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total
dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the
Tribe of his House. The boss.


7. During this dispensation, the father rules with
an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what
does or does not happen.


8. The father often mettes out corporal
punishment to the recalcitrant children. They
grow to fear him more than they love him.


10. The father is the provider for the family &
everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant
consequences.


11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The
children have finished school and have started
working. Power shifts to the mother.


12. When the children start earning their own
money, for some reason, it's their mothers they
decide to look after. They are closer to her.


13. While the father was in charge, he was busy
with the business of providing. He didn't have
much time to be a friend to the children.


14. They spent more time with their mum and
invariably grew closer to her. They also see their
mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.


15. The mother takes centre stage at this point.
She is the first to know what's happening with
the children & she has advantage.



16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is
the one that goes for babysitting and the children
spoil her with gifts.


17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some
bond with the children like they have with their
mother but that boat has sailed.


18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the
father for her needs at this stage, she is less
likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.


19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power
has shifted to the children. They are self-
sufficient, live on their own & have own families.


20. More often than not, whenever there is a
quarrel between father & mother, the children side
the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play.


21. Children have been known to come to the
house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their
mother. Next thing, extended visitations.


22. Woe betide the father if his finances are
precarious at this stage. You will be humble by
force. The gang-up is real.


23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop
different complications. By the time the forces are
arrayed against you, you will think well.


24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure.
The man has a large family but no relationship
with them in later life. Troubling thought.


25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us,
let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be
with us forever.


26. With the way you are treating your wife now,
how will she treat you when power shifts to her?


27. What relationship do you have with your
family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical
provider?


28. Remember, the children always side with their
mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair
hearing in future moments of family strife.


30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't
have to beg to be taken care of if despite your
best efforts, you find yourself alone.


Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is
no manual on how it works. May God help us to
make the best of a really tough job.

Pls somebody should help me with Olajumoke, Snake, or Tonto's pictures so that Lalasticlala can take this thread to the FP.