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(advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? - Romance - Nairaland

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(advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:32pm On Mar 10, 2016
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by osaslord500(m): 8:33pm On Mar 10, 2016
Please summerize
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:36pm On Mar 10, 2016
Odikwa serious


Okay, u took d relationship very serious. She's just catching her fun. Sit her down and both of you should define the relationship. You guys just need communication concerning this stuff.

I hate guys that read girl's chat. It shows signs of insecurity.

Incase it did not work out, read my thread on how to fall out of love cheesy
Shallom

1 Like

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by naijaboiy: 8:36pm On Mar 10, 2016
[b]And you still went ahead to mention his name? undecided

In my opinion,the guy in question should take a chill pill concerning this girl and the relationship they have together. I feel she may have agreed to date him because she just left a relationship not too long and she was still feeling that emotional void deep in her,therefore she needed someone to fill it for her and this guy was the perfect one available.

Most times, it is very risky to go into a relationship with a girl immediately she just left a relationship,especially if it's a serious one. Because these girls will be in the healing and recovering stage and most times,they tend to need someone whom they can rely on to help them recover fully. So if you fall in love with such a girl at that stage,it may really be dangerous because she may not be truly in love with you. It could just be that she needed you to get over her ex quickly.

That is why it is advisable for guys who especially,know the girl as a friend before her break up to always thread carefully before they are used as an emotional dust bin where a girl will dump her emotional dirt and move on the moment she's done.

He should take a chill pill and let them redefine their relationship. If she wants to take him seriously,then she needs to stop flirting and fùcking around. This is not about whether or not he snooped on her phone. That is just a basic inconsequential excuse.

#MyPiece
[/b]

3 Likes

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:36pm On Mar 10, 2016
osaslord500:
Please summerize
learn 2 read
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:37pm On Mar 10, 2016
NA WAO COMMON SENSE IS INDEED NOT COMMON, smtin is as clear as a mirror and ure here asking us if its clear.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Brownville007: 8:45pm On Mar 10, 2016
Guy pedal down before u harm urself. If u want to go into a long relationship, don't get emotional. She is catching fun, while u are her cushion to fall back on. Confront her but be rest assured she will give you reasons. Then break up with her, if you don't she will do it after your usefulness must have run dry.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Ekakamba: 8:46pm On Mar 10, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.
If you can't see the sign I've to tell you. She just want you to eff out but she don't wanna be the one to make the move. So if you love yourself and God kindly call off the relationship and be free from that karishika. But remember to cut your share if you haven't done so and my brother use CD coz AIDS is real.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by sexylogan(m): 8:47pm On Mar 10, 2016
undecided

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:48pm On Mar 10, 2016
LORDSAMURAI:
NA WAO COMMON SENSE IS INDEED NOT COMMON, smtin is as clear as a mirror and ure here asking us if its clear.
Ben Bruce! I knew U were on this forum grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:52pm On Mar 10, 2016
nigga...

u seriously nid 2 get laid.. undecided
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by naijaboiy: 8:54pm On Mar 10, 2016
HateU2:
Odikwa serious


Okay, u took d relationship very serious. She's just catching her fun. Sit her down and both of you should define the relationship. You guys just need communication concerning this stuff.

I hate guys that read girl's chat. It shows signs of insecurity.

Incase it did not work out, read my thread on how to fall out of love cheesy
Shallom
There is no "insecurity" in snooping on a partner's phone. If I suspect that she is cheating on me and I have concrete reasons to do so then by all means i'll have to check her phone,in her presence!

I cannot call that insecurity because I am protecting myself from a bigger heart attack. Besides, a relationship should be so open that none of the partner will be scared to leave his/her phone with the other without the fear of anything.

The moment you start getting worried or complaining that your partner is checking your phone then you sure as hell have something to hide. Research has shown over and over that it is people who do not support this idea that are always guilty of hiding something which most likely turns out to be cheating/infidelity.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:57pm On Mar 10, 2016
Personally, I hate it. I don't check so why should u check mine . I deserve my privacy.
naijaboiy:

There is no "insecurity" in snooping on a partner's phone. If I suspect that she is cheating on me and I have concrete reasons to do so then by all means i'll have to check her phone,in her presence!

I cannot call that insecurity because I am protecting myself from a bigger heart attack. Besides, a relationship should be so open that none of the partner will be scared to leave his/her phone with the other without the fear of anything.

The moment you start getting worried or complaining that your partner is checking your phone then you sure as hell have something to hide. Research has shown over and over that it is people who do not support this idea that are always guilty of hiding something which most likely turns out to be cheating/infidelity.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by tosyne2much(m): 8:58pm On Mar 10, 2016
Hmmmmm !!
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by naijaboiy: 9:02pm On Mar 10, 2016
HateU2:
Personally, I hate it. I don't check so why should u check mine . I deserve my privacy.
It simply denotes that you are not ready for a serious relationship.

When you are,this ideology of yours will be dumped in the lagoon.

Trust me.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by melison29(m): 9:03pm On Mar 10, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.
.. U love her so much hmmm u be romeo? Truth be told if she cheats on u and doesn't show any remorse for what she did. I suggest you take a walk n give her a break. Dats why I don't date at least for now
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by SurefireAsoOke: 9:10pm On Mar 10, 2016
I think u need more time together no a long/media friendship.
Maybe u too are bettEr bein friends
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by arki(m): 9:11pm On Mar 10, 2016
Guy if u luv urself and life beta start packing ur luggage out of dat relationship, cos it's apparent that u are her recuperating machine. Neva give urself to a womans tricks. I trust myself, dat would hv been d end of d relationship afta seing such chat. No time for a cheating jezebel,U nid to be a man guy. Love is jst simply overrated.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by osaslord500(m): 10:08pm On Mar 10, 2016
HateU2:
learn 2 read


Don't just have time for long stories
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 10:27pm On Mar 10, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.
pls wat are u confused abt
Is it d fact dat sum1 else is avin sex wt her
Or d fact dat shez NT INLOVE wt u
Shez a confused human being who doesn't know wat she wants
I pray she doesn't give u std tho(dats if u r sexual wt her)

On anoda thought
She didn't heal properly from her previous relationship.just take a break
Figure out wat u want
Sum1 who loves u won't put u thru pain
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Danfuster(m): 10:33pm On Mar 10, 2016
If there's anything you should never doubt... It's your guts, take that bold decision.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 10:40pm On Mar 10, 2016
naijaboiy:

It simply denotes that you are not ready for a serious relationship.

When you are,this ideology of yours will be dumped in the lagoon.

Trust me.

Ur opinion thou but Blive me, it's my way. My guy shld understand dat

1 Like

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by schumastic(m): 12:34am On Mar 11, 2016
funny part is she slept with with two different guys within two days n still forming love with both....some girls are useless I swear...if you know was good for you better leave her alone, by now you should know better why her ex did...
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by coolh3ad(m): 1:49am On Mar 11, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.

Like I will always say....90percent of ladies in our tertiary institutions have "school boyfriends" even if they are in a serious relationship and the boo is far away from them...secondly, she ended a relationship last year june because the guy cheated on her. The truth is she still believes all guys are cheats "for now" I.e you might end up cheating on her too..The distance between you guys won't even help matter...you don't know what she's doing in school, she doesn't know what you are doing at home at her absence.....I think she doesn't wanna put all her eggs in one basket this time...Once bitten, twice shy
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by naijaboiy: 6:28am On Mar 11, 2016
HateU2:
Ur opinion thou but Blive me, it's my way. My guy shld understand dat
And you're sure that will help the relationship?

Well if your partner can't even use your phone for anything it simply means you're hiding something.

I wonder how there can be trust in such a relationship.

Well, if it works for you both fine.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 7:27am On Mar 11, 2016
thanks for y'all response. I opened dis thread for him to see d comments & he was grateful. Thanks to naijaboiy, hateu2 etc & even those who claim d story was too long... but it's gotta do with matters of d heart so one gotta b unequivocal.

1 Like

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by naijaboiy: 7:32am On Mar 11, 2016
udondeymadt:
thanks for y'all response. I opened dis thread for him to see d comments & he was grateful. Thanks to naijaboiy, hateu2 etc & even those who claim d story was too long... but it's gotta do with matters of d heart so one gotta b unequivocal.
You're welcome bro.

1 Like

Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 8:46am On Mar 11, 2016
udondeymadt:
thanks for y'all response. I opened dis thread for him to see d comments & he was grateful. Thanks to naijab.oiy, hat.eu2 etc & even those who claim d story was too long... but it's gotta do with matters of d heart so one gotta b unequivocal.
You aare welcome bro
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by omotades: 9:13am On Mar 11, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.
don't know what else u want. The lady is playing on ur love for her. it's that easy to decipher. The fact that she sleeps around is as obvious for a blind man to see. Cut her off. Don't get beclouded by ur 'blind love' for her. This is suicidal.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 9:23am On Mar 11, 2016
udondeymadt:
Hello nairalanders usually i don't post topics like this but someone needs some mature advice here. I'll like to share something with u, I believe I can use your advice.
Am presently in a relationship of over 7 months, though she's a girl I've known for a year now (we met February 2015 precisely), though she was dating then. We were good friends, so close that her then boyfriend suspected we were having a secret affair - we didn't. I loved her, but never opened up cause I didn't want to upset her relationship. June last year, she broke up with the guy after finding out he cheated on her. He fought so hard to keep her, blaming me for white-washing her brain against him. She stood her ground and never took him back.
A student, she travelled to Lagos in July after the school break. The following month (August), I opened up to her about my feelings. Of course it wasn't easy convincing her to accept, especially hard since she was far away from me. Later that month, she eventually accepted and we started a relationship.
For six good months, we dated without seeing each other. We called and spoke to each other for at least six hours everyday; I mean every single day not forgetting daily text messages and chats on WhatsApp, Facebook and bbm. It was beautiful. We just had to trust each other. We had issues at times, but because we missed each other it was so easy to settle our problems. She came back on feb. 14 - Val's day. It was, to say the least, memorable.
Now here's the problem. I have this feeling that I am the one most committed to making the relationship work. She calls more, I text more, the chats are balanced. Never as she used my pix as her dp, though I have - but I have chosen not to read much into that. She's hot tempered and tries in vain to find faults in me. I get the feeling she has a crush on me and not love - though she swears she loves me. Recently, I started doubting her. I came across her WhatsApp chats with a guy and was shocked at the messages I saw. The guy wrote: "I am in love with your body. Can u come over this evening?"She replied: "Okay."Next, the guy wrote the following day: "U were so sweet last night."She replied:"Wow, tanx."That was on the 12th of February.
On Valentine's day, he messaged her "happy val sweet", she replied "same love."Took time to write all this so u could be thorough in advising me on what to do. When I confronted her on it she went on a rage as to why I read her chats. Then she claimed i was thinking too far, that it could have been something else. Before I dated her, I could have any girl if I wished coz I was single. But after I fell in love with her, every other girl doesn't appeal to me again. I've sunk my heart into the relationship that it beats so hard just at the thought of her. Am confused now. Am not a bully, I don't get over jealous but I don't want a heart break either.
She swears she loves me, but I can't help but feel that she has skeletons in her cupboard. Please advice me. Feel free to post, I'd like people's opinion on this. But do me the honour of not mentioning my name. Stay blessed.

Pls NLanders your advise to this young man is needed.

I'm sorry I had to quote that long text again.

1. op, there's nothing like white washing one's brain, it's simply "brainwashing".

2. I find it hard to believe that you had nothing to do with their break up.

3. lesson number 1: never start a relationship with someone just getting out of one. she will use you to request the owing of a broken relationship and dump you.

4. you need to quit that relationship now. but we both know that u won't and we are all gonna read How your heart was eventually broken.
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by stillchris: 10:28am On Mar 11, 2016
it's so annoying how men have become pvssies in relationships these days.

you found evidence your girl is cheating and you came to nairaland to seek advise. you be monkey wey no fit toast other girls?

and please don't ever equate love with infatuation. you are infatuated not in love. i keep reading the "i love him" "i love her so much" in just few months in a relationship. like WTF do you know about love?

niggas need to grow some balls and be men. gadamit... grow some balls niggas.

this sh1t is annoying as fvck
Re: (advice Needed) Should He Trust & Continue In This Affair? by Nobody: 10:49am On Mar 11, 2016
[quote author=Ioannes post=43669720]

I'm sorry I had to quote that long text again.

1. op, there's nothing like white washing one's brain, it's simply "brainwashing".

thanks for the correction.

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