Inkspression: Single And Happy

Inkspression is here again and today, I am sharing my thoughts on how to be single and happy, how to enjoy your singleness without feeling like something is wrong with you… Enjoy and don’t forget to tell me what you think by dropping a comment below…

There are times it gets terribly lonely and you just need that special somebody very close to you. It can even be worse when you turn around and your friends are “loving up” with their partners and you are just left alone to love up with empty space. As a single girl, I know these things can be so painful and can be very depressing as it may make you rush to say yes to the next man that asks you out.

I can remember when my singleness was getting to me. I have 5 sisters and imagine all of them sitting down to talk about their boos and I had nothing to say. Even my younger ones were talking about their boyfriends and I would scream “What is wrong with me?” in my mind. Then, I would jump at any offer of “be my girlfriend” just to have something to say too and not feel left out. I was basically pretending because my heart was not in the whole thing. I was happier being single than I was dating and then it hit me. Why can’t I be happy being who I am rather than trying too hard to feel like part of something?

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Not trying to be sexist or a male chauvinist pig, but I still don't understand how a chic can single and happy. Unlike guys who can easily play around with willing chics freely while single - girls don't have that luxury. Else they'll be tagged "who.res" based on societal standards. And for guys, apart from missing dedicated chic who will be able to cook for you and look after you often, single life is always fun and less tasking - with the luxury of having ya free space to breathe often. However, chics always covet being around someone and being cuddled, hence single chics are always desperate when you show them some dedication.

I have had this discussion with a few chics. And I believe chics talking about being single and happy is an oxymoron. Most of these "single" and "happy" chics always have a chic on the side beating that arse/pum to smithereens, with no strings attached. So as a woman, you can't be "single" and "happy" when you're some guy's intimacy gadget.

That's just my humble opinion.

SirShymexx:
Not trying to be sexist or a male chauvinist pig, but I still don't understand how a chic can single and happy. Unlike guys who can easily play around with willing chics freely while single - girls don't have that luxury. Else they'll be tagged "who.res" based on societal standards. And for guys, apart from missing dedicated chic who will be able to cook for you and look after you often, single life is always fun and less tasking - with the luxury of having ya free space to breathe often. However, chics always covet being around someone and being cuddled, hence single chics are always desperate when you show them some dedication.

I have had this discussion with a few chics. And I believe chics talking about being single and happy is an oxymoron. Most of these "single" and "happy" chics always have a chic on the side beating that arse/pum to smithereens, with no strings attached. So as a woman, you can't be "single" and "happy" when you're some guy's intimacy gadget.

That's just my humble opinion.

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So apart from turning this post into bashing women you have nothing to say about your singleness. Post said say something about you are single and Happy. Not how someone else is not happy being single. I wonder what makes you feel the only thing that brings happiness to a woman's life is a man, yet some are married and unhappy..let me inform you now that you are ignorantly wrong. Money gives everyone happiness more than a partner. Most ppl are happy without a man or woman, but no one I repeat no one is happy without money. So your see Mr a man is just a toy to a woman with money bcoz she derives pleasure in her wealth more than one man that will bring nothing but headaches at d long run. If you like don't go and make money and think one woman will be fulfilled by u in her life.

SirShymexx:
Not trying to be sexist or a male chauvinist pig, but I still don't understand how a chic can single and happy. Unlike guys who can easily play around with willing chics freely while single - girls don't have that luxury. Else they'll be tagged "who.res" based on societal standards. And for guys, apart from missing dedicated chic who will be able to cook for you and look after you often, single life is always fun and less tasking - with the luxury of having ya free space to breathe often. However, chics always covet being around someone and being cuddled, hence single chics are always desperate when you show them some dedication.

I have had this discussion with a few chics. And I believe chics talking about being single and happy is an oxymoron. Most of these "single" and "happy" chics always have a chic on the side beating that arse/pum to smithereens, with no strings attached. So as a woman, you can't be "single" and "happy" when you're some guy's intimacy gadget.

That's just my humble opinion.

The bolded says a lot.

Have you heard the term " I am not a racist but"?

aforti:
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So apart from turning this post into bashing women you have nothing to say about your singleness. Post said say something about you are single and Happy. Not how someone else is not happy being single. I wonder what makes you feel the only thing that brings happiness to a woman's life is a man, yet some are married and unhappy..let me inform you now that you are ignorantly wrong. Money gives everyone happiness more than a partner. Most ppl are happy without a man or woman, but no one I repeat no one is happy without money. So your see Mr a man is just a toy to a woman with money bcoz she derives pleasure in her wealth more than one man that will bring nothing but headaches at d long run. If you like don't go and make money and think one woman will be fulfilled by u in her life.

But how do you know if I'm single or not?

And I believe the OP is a female and what she posited is based on her imagination. So how did I turn the thread into "woman bashing" by giving an opinion which is more in tune with reality and not living in denial?

If u are following this thread, let me hear you say ``uhun, uhun!''

Missy89:


The bolded says a lot.

Have you heard the term " I am not a racist but"?

Lol. Two different things, mate. While the society and societal standards might be sexist and chauvinistic, from the perspective of females - alluding to them neither makes you a sexist or chauvinist pig. However, racism is different and nothing in being PC in the society allows racism.

Err, this is different from Hilary Clinton calling black kids predators, yet claiming she isn't racist. Two different things, mate.

You are single, cross ya heart and tell me that I lied in my post looool.

SirShymexx:


Lol. Two different things, mate. While the society and societal standards might be sexist and chauvinistic, from the perspective of females - alluding to them neither makes you a sexist or chauvinist pig. However, racism is different and nothing in being PC in the society allows racism.

Err, this is different from Hilary Clinton calling black kids predators, yet claiming she isn't racist. Two different things, mate.

You are single, cross ya heart and tell me that I lied in my post looool.

I think you are generalizing the issue. You can be single and happy

There is a lot of things you can dedicate your time to that can make you really happy apart from being in a relationship. Career is one of them. most people in relationships are miserable.

If you have a great family that supports your decision and wont judge you base on what you want to do with your life that can help. Not bowing to societal pressure when you make a life decision can say a lot about the character of a person.

And as per being considered a LovePeddler because you date a lot of guys, that is subjective too. Most women that claim they are single and happy dont even date much even when the see a guy that shows "dedication" because they fear it will ruin what is most important to them. Not everyone loves to be cuddled. Where do you get all these stats? Experience? How many girls have you dated.

Missy89:

I think you are generalizing the issue. You can be single and happy

There is a lot of things you can dedicate your time to that can make you really happy apart from being in a relationship. Career is one of them. most people in relationships are miserable.

If you have a great family that supports your decision and wont judge you base on what you want to do with your life that can help. Not bowing to societal pressure when you make a life decision can say a lot about the character of a person.

And as per being considered a LovePeddler because you date a lot of guys, that is subjective too. Most women that claim they are single and happy dont even date much even when the see a guy that shows "dedication" because they fear it will ruin what is most important to them. Not everyone loves to be cuddled. Where do you get all these stats? Experience? How many girls have you dated.

I'm not generalising. You and I know that due to the emotional nature of women, the desire for companionship is subconsciously the most paramount thing to women. They covet it regardless of how they mask it. Career and support from the family are just part of the puzzle for most women, just as companionship is also very important. Hence women are generally more outgoing than men.

Like I said earlier, I've had this conversation many times with different chics and they always agree at the end, regardless of how vehemently they deny it at the beginning. That's enough stat for you to ponder on and search ya soul.

Case in point as well is when you're in a relationship with a chic, she's always going to be the one seek full attention all the time. But a guy doesn't really care about that as long as he knows that you're his chic.

Date in what sense? Casual dating or relationship?

========
Lest I forget, I asked my big bro's fiancee and she's from ya part of Ondo. So I might pass through ya village one of these days when I hit naij with them. That nyggah and one of my cousins love their Yoruba chics, bwoy. But the rest of us keep it trill like Pi.mp C.

SirShymexx:


I'm not generalising. You and I know that due to the emotional nature of women, the desire for companionship is subconsciously the most paramount thing to women. They covet it regardless of how they mask it. Career and support from the family are just part of the puzzle for most women, just as companionship is also very important. Hence women are generally more outgoing than men.

Like I said earlier, I've had this conversation many times with different chics and they always agree at the end, regardless of how vehemently they deny it at the beginning. That's enough stat for you to ponder on and search ya soul.

Case in point as well is when you're in a relationship with a chic, she's always going to be the one seek full attention all the time. But a guy doesn't really care about that as long as he knows that you're his chic.

Date in what sense? Casual dating or relationship?

========
Lest I forget, I asked my big bro's fiancee and she's from ya part of Ondo. So I might pass through ya village one of these days when I hit naij with them. That nyggah and one of my cousins love their Yoruba chics, bwoy. But the rest of us keep it trill like Pi.mp C.

Well like you said for "most women" not all. And you will be surprised with the size the "only few" and even if we are to poll the single ones, you will see they are likely quite as happy as the married ones.

I meant both causal and relationship for you to come up with such conclusion.

your bro is lucky. Akoko chics are d bomb

Sirshymexx, you are correct to a large extent though you missed some points.

Yes, we love to have the company and cuddle. We want love or something greatly related. Yes, we want to tag our relationships or the men in our lives. I think women are more settled where they are loved and accepted. However, the one settling them doesn't always have to be a man. We don't always have to be in a relationship to achieve happiness and contentment.

While my heartfelt desire is to meet a man that rocks my world greatly, I feel I will be happier with a baby (2babies) with 24hrs nanny service, in our beautiful home, where I have no worries about finances, with my thriving business, my sis and mom not far away, good health circulating, two lovely dogs in the house...omg, I've been describing heaven without a man in it. So yes, we can carry on a normal happy life without men in it. It will be just like the situation you described about being a single guy...

Missy89:

Well like you said for "most women" not all. And you will be surprised with the size the "only few" and even if we are to poll the single ones, you will see they are likely quite as happy as the married ones.

I meant both causal and relationship for you to come up with such conclusion.

your bro is lucky. Akoko chics are d bomb

Now you're dragging it to married vs. unmarried women, when it's about being single vs. being in a relationship. Marriage is a different thing entire and I'm not talking about marriage here. You can be of marriageable age or past menopause and be in a relationship, without being married. That doesn't mean you're single.

My argument is about being single.

The number of chics I've dated has no bearing on my conclusion. My conclusion has to do with discussions with chics in general. I thought you were asking for a different reason.

Lol. There's no lucky in picking a chic from anywhere. You can only deem yourself lucky if you end up with the most coveted chic out of ya class. If a regular guy ends up with a chic Rihanna, you can claim he's lucky cos of the star power. But when a regular guy ends up with a regular chic, there's no luck in that.

sisisioge:
Sirshymexx, you are correct to a large extent though you missed some points.

Yes, we love to have the company and cuddle. We want love or something greatly related. Yes, we want to tag our relationships or the men in our lives. I think women are more settled where they are loved and accepted. However, the one settling them doesn't always have to be a man. We don't always have to be in a relationship to achieve happiness and contentment.

While my heartfelt desire is to meet a man that rocks my world greatly, I feel I will be happier with a baby (2babies) with 24hrs nanny service, in our beautiful home, where I have no worries about finances, with my thriving business, my sis and mom not far away, good health circulating, two lovely dogs in the house...omg, I've been describing heaven without a man in it. So yes, we can carry on a normal happy life without men in it. It will be just like the situation you described about being a single guy...

Thanks for making my argument for me with the excerpt in bold.

Conversely, men naturally don't really care about being loved/accepted/cuddled. Men care more about being fulfilled and not being found wanting when it comes to responsibilities.