Lol...
Take coffee,chew kolanut,drink Red bull.....and come to work like its closing time...Buhahahahahaahah!!...

Na fex o....what's #EGALITARIAN??..hehehe,u no say ah nor go skuu

silent10:
Again u didn't take ur pills 2day

oh! Sorry,the pills for your madness right? Buffon

This is really really cool....OP God bless you wella,this came @a time when I needed it most.am having an interview tomorrow & i've learnt something from these...wish me luck

Why did you have to use Penny? Why?!

Very funny but truthful. I hate interviews because it is a section of tearing lies.

Glowstone:
We all know job interviews are a fucking trap. Its like reality TV; everything is so perfectly scripted you start to think the interviewer is just pulling the questions out of a hat and that the interviewee is answering them from a deep and honest place like he didn’t rehearse the night before (at least most of the time). So here are some honest answers to popular job interview questions;





1. Tell us about yourself

What you actually say : My name is Lalasticlala Williams, a graduate of Aso University who finds excitement in hitting tasks head on. I’m a young and dynamic individual with a passion for excellence and a determination to succeed.



What you want to say: I want to start by saying I thank God for this opportunity because I’m tired of sitting at home.

The way my father has been looking at me ehn!, as if I shit in my pants. Anyway, My name is Lalasticlala Williams, but my friends call me Lala Cobra, because you know what it do. I attended Aso University and studied for 4 years with a minor in ASUU strikes, for 3 years.








2. What is your greatest weakness?

What you actually say: :I have a little challenge when handling many tasks at once, but I’m already attending a webinar that is teaching us how to fix this and it seems to be producing results.

What you want to say: :Mehn, if you give me a task to do and the deadline is in one week, I swear I’d think about it everyday, but never do it. Then I start the night before deadline morning. And drink coffee, chew kolanut, drink Red Bull, and come to work looking like its closing time.

And one more thing, although I don’t think its a weakness, I believe the fridge is egalitarian in nature, which is why it has only one door. Dazall









3. How did you hear about this position?

What you actually say: A friend of mine told me about it and said he believed I’d fit in perfectly.


What you want to say: Think of every job website there is, jobberman? you know nairaland job and vacancy section? I’m on every one. I knew like 10 minutes after you put up the vacancy.











4. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

How you answer: I see my self becoming a force to reckon with in Sales. Hopefully, I’d assume more management responsibilities and take on more challenges to make me even better at my work.



What you want to say: This question is just one kain. I don’t even have a full grasp of today. Like, who knows tomorrow? But if I had to say it sha, in 5 years, I want a good car, a better salary, my own house, and maybe an office better than your own sef.










5. What is your dream job?

How you answer: Based on my interests and career path, I want a job that would enable me grow at good pace. In fact, this is actually why I was excited about getting invited for this interview.



What you want to say: Anything that will gimme small work and plenty money, period. Probably not this one but we have to start somewhere.











6. Why should we hire you?

How you answer: I believe I am a good fit for the job as my skill set will not only enable me learn quickly on the job, it will also take this company to even greater heights.

What you want to say: Ma, please epp me, just consider me. Consider the place I am coming from and how many hours I spent in traffic. Even the money I used to get here, it was someone that borrowed me.





curled from


http://partyjollof.com/6-brutally-honest-answers-to-common-job-interview-questions/

Got me laughing hard! Really creative.

0955eb027:
M comin to come n tel u wat my 2 korokoro eye c tday..

what's it bro ?

justicejay:
Was expecting something educative not a A.Y show

Hmm!

Looool

Op thanks for sharing this, no 4 got me laughing the most...

Nice one! Very resourceful!!

shamecurls:
I feel like eating Garri with Okro soup

bros abeg call me wen e ready

no lie bro.....u said the gospel truth, they want the sugar coated truth and we will continue to give them until dey give us our job

Cauhlins:


seems like you didn't read the post. it also sounds like you're uneducated#No_offense cos one who is educated would grasp the real responses to the interview questions... I just saved this page for whenever I'd be going for an interview cos the (real) responses provided in this post are epic.

half baked litrate, you call that real reponse?
Go back to your dream

So on point.... Lol

nice joke!

This op is just hilarious! Ma please epp me ! I have not laughed like this in a long while.

Seconded!

damn gud post..... so educative wiv a smile on your face @ d same time

lol

justicejay:
half baked litrate, you call that real reponse? Go back to your dream

bro..Sorry if you found ma comment offensive. i jus told you the ample truth

Cauhlins:


bro..Sorry if you found ma comment offensive. i jus told you the ample truth

Truth? You call that truth?
It will be hard for you to pass an interview if you call that truth