swetkay:
I need ur advice. Am 25yrs Lady beautiful nd smart. I hv dated this guy for 3yrs he is 39yrs. Our dating years has been filled with ups nd down but wat we shared was strong so after each fight we still made up. He cheats on me am aware he is aware. This was his only flaws i fought it but it was clear to me i cld not win the fight nd i gave up . He wants the best for me nd gives me the best too. Now things are changing some that used to love me cant stand me anymore he even said he now gets angry wen ever he sees me. He has paid my bride price nd our wedding is in one week. I moved i just last week nd since then it has been one fights to another. Am getting sick nd tired already every one thinks am happy but am not. Am not free to talk or chat with him anymore coz am sure it will end in a fight. I cant quit coz i cant face calling off the wedding. I keep telling myself he is scared of commitment and will relax later on as u know everyone gets this cold feet b4 marriage. I need experienced suggestions on how to deal with this. Am tired of crying à

swetkay:
I need ur advice. Am 25yrs Lady beautiful nd smart. I hv dated this guy for 3yrs he is 39yrs. Our dating years has been filled with ups nd down but wat we shared was strong so after each fight we still made up. He cheats on me am aware he is aware. This was his only flaws i fought it but it was clear to me i cld not win the fight nd i gave up . He wants the best for me nd gives me the best too. Now things are changing some that used to love me cant stand me anymore he even said he now gets angry wen ever he sees me. He has paid my bride price nd our wedding is in one week. I moved i just last week nd since then it has been one fights to another. Am getting sick nd tired already every one thinks am happy but am not. Am not free to talk or chat with him anymore coz am sure it will end in a fight. I cant quit coz i cant face calling off the wedding. I keep telling myself he is scared of commitment and will relax later on as u know everyone gets this cold feet b4 marriage. I need experienced suggestions on how to deal with this. Am tired of crying à

Richy4:


You misunderstood the whole thing madam..... The OP's guy cheats on her....getting angry with your spouse is different from an incurable cheat....Your husband's anger is a passing phase due to pressure and much expenses during the marriage.... The guy cheating on OP is a continuous act that has been going on before the mention of wedding and the OP knows she can't stop him

I guess yours is quite different..... But if it was the same, maybe you need to give her the tips on how you were surviving because she is desperate to have a ring on her finger

InformedLola:


I just have a question...why move in before the wedding? Please move out. I know calling off the wedding will be a tough decision, don't mind many of those in here talking like if they were in your shoes they would find it easy to do. Think it through and consult a marriage counsellor for advice, because it can go either way.

The only advice I can give you now is to move out and give him some space.

Angelberry:
14 years difference and he's treating you like this

byvan03:
25years, yet so desperate!! It will only get worse, common what exactly drives you bonkers about this evil aged man? Call off that wedding, go ahead and that will be the worst mistake of your life. You are forcing this marriage, seems he got lots of cash . The cold feet thing before marriage is a lie for those that are sure of what they are doing.

Ujoan:
Eiyaaah. . . Poor you!

I blame your parents for raising someone with such low self esteem.

ramuona:
Same thing happened to me a week to my wedding. My hubby would see me and hiss. He got angry @ every thing I did or said. It wasn't easy for me. .... I felt like calling off my wedding. My dear take it easy He's just under pressure. Wedding preparation and all that. Just be calm and prayerful... God will perfect your wedding and marriage.

diva90:


You are right, sometimes it's the stress of the wedding preparations and all the pressure being faced. Prior to my wedding it wasn't easy too, I and my husband were both cranky and stressed but then it's just a stage that will be overcomed. This could be part of the problem that her guy is having but then what about the other red flags of cheating etc. the only issue with leaving this man now is, finding someone else. What's the guarantee that the next man will be better? Most men these days cheat, so we can't say the next man won't cheat. He's not beating her or physically abusing her... So idk... it's something she really needs to think out before calling off the wedding, she knows the guy well enough to know if this is just a phase of stress that he is going through. If he wasn't like this month's before marriage preparations then it's most likely stress.
Don't be in a rush to call it off before seeking proper advice from a counsellor or experienced married person as I had suggested in my other post and NB: most of the people here telling you to call it off wouldn't have done so if they were in your shoes. Don't let people mislead you, you should be the primary decider since you know this man better than we do.

ireneidiva:

She should marry an unrepentant cheat? Fear God o. The kind of nonsense advice you guys give here. Not all men cheat! The next man could be way better. Mtchew. Op you better run and ignore these advices from the pit of hell.

bukatyne:


Babes,

Not seems...

The guy is over loaded and might be good in bed.

But that money sure pa!

Or she lived an extremely rough life earlier and is scared that after this man, no one else.

byvan03:




I was banned by spam bot so couldn't respond earlier. Extremely rough life @ 25 only? . I feel the money is the main blinder here, she should prepare to open more pathetic threads in future. I wonder if she thinks that walking away in future will be easier than doing it now.