Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,152,124 members, 7,814,941 topics. Date: Thursday, 02 May 2024 at 12:40 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Divorce Letters (1175 Views)
A Simple Spelling Mistake That Caused A Divorce!!!! / Shocker!ini Edo In A Divorce Clash / Funny Leave Letters And Applications Written By Some Indians (2) (3) (4)
Divorce Letters by SamMilla1(m): 1:20pm On Nov 09, 2006 |
Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt tha we could work it out. So when I discovered that I Had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem. |
Re: Divorce Letters by SamMilla1(m): 1:22pm On Nov 09, 2006 |
marriage Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating. Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation. After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac. Before - Ricky & Lucy. After - Fred & Ethel. Before - Saturday Night Live. After - Monday Night Football. Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars. After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done, Before - Is that all you are eating? After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey. Before - Wheel of Fortune. After - Jeopardy. Before - It's like living a dream. After - It's a nightmare. Before - Turbocharged. After - Needs a jump-start Before - We agree on everything! After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? Before - Idol. After - Idle. Before - He's lost without me. After - Why can't he ask for directions? Before - When together, time stands still. After - This relationship is going nowhere. Before - Oysters. After - Fishsticks. Before - I can hardly believe we found each other. After - How did I end up with someone like you? |
Re: Divorce Letters by jimaj4life(m): 12:47am On Dec 05, 2006 |
damn,unlucky woman |
Re: Divorce Letters by Christino(m): 5:57am On Dec 05, 2006 |
Oh you mean Carla is actually a lesbian, oh what a sad way to lose in both ways |
Re: Divorce Letters by bethsy: 11:31pm On Jan 04, 2009 |
that serves her right |
Re: Divorce Letters by Gabry(f): 6:55am On Jan 05, 2009 |
Re: Divorce Letters by dyabman(m): 8:39am On Jan 05, 2009 |
christino , where u from? |
Re: Divorce Letters by romsky: 9:07am On Jan 05, 2009 |
oops |
Re: Divorce Letters by dyabman(m): 9:36am On Jan 05, 2009 |
oops what |
Re: Divorce Letters by joyAA(f): 11:18pm On Jan 06, 2009 |
foolish woman |
(1) (Reply)
Some Hospitality / Privacy b/w Tope and Iwayjay / Sen. Yerima Is The President, Baby Wife First Lady
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 18 |