Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To - Romance - Nairaland
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| Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by sweetjulie(f): 3:22pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
my boyfriend want me move in with him and i don't know what to do. i need advise |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by wanville(m): 3:31pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
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| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Kelvinj(m): 3:40pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
@poster Congratz, jst registered & ur already starting topics. Datz gud! I be like say as ur name na sweetjulie u wan carry sweetbelle witout sweetwedding, wel d ball is in ur court, |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Nobody: 3:47pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Those yeye boys. Maybe he needs a househelp. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by MrWaters: 4:22pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Don't or u'll regret it |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by platinumnk(f): 4:24pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Hell no |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by LadyDee1(f): 4:34pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Not a good idea!!! This is the predicament my cousin was in and many friends off mine, The result: The Guy gets to comfortable and doesnt want things changing, To bring up th subject of marriage na wahala!! For years and years my cousin was living with her so called boyfriend, even went as far as having a child,   The bloody heartless man finally got tired, and left to marry a next chick!!!  Later on claiming he never promised marriage and they were not compatible enough!!  Its a WICKED world Ooo!! |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by unitee(f): 4:39pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
NO NO NO and NO all the way until he says the words I DO only then I can move in |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by MesorohB: 4:46pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
You will be a Cheap article if you do, but this days shall some girls wey their mama do the same thing no mind. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by TheSeeker(m): 5:48pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Don't ever entertain the thought let alone executing it. When you get to live together, the feeling that you're is temporarily mutual. At the end of the day, he ends up being tired and leaves for another girl who he probably has been dating out there. He'll tell you stuffs like "if we live together we will have the chance to be together" and all, don't ever fall for that prank. Another thing in a relationship is keeping your dignity --- you could be freaky sometimes --- but not disrespect your womanly honor. Even when you visit, if you're in almost the same area, don't spend more than 2 weeks max. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by bilqiss(f): 5:58pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
It works for some and for others, it just messes things up. It could make the guy see all ur great qualities and help him make up his mind that you're indeed wife material. On the other hand, it might make all the excitement fade. I don't advise any girl to practically move in, but if he is a decent fellow and you know where you stand with him, then you can afford to take the risk. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by TheSeeker(m): 6:29pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
bilqiss:I disagree with that. If he wants to see the quality in her, it shouldn't be until she moves in with him. She could pay him a visit sometimes, spend as much as one week or more. Couple whatever he finds out from there with the way their relationship has been going, then he can determine whatever he wants to. A good woman is so easy to know. The secret is, the guy will be tired of the relationship, we all know how boring marriage itself could be sometimes let alone a "co-habitation" relationship. It's most likely going to crash. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Sweete(f): 9:50pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Sweetie,its a capital NO.If he so desires u,let him get married 2 u fast! |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Nobody: 10:57pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
bilqiss:What an excuse  |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by vicuna: 11:02pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Hmm, very interesting replies. I see, so the general logic is for you ladies not to reveal your true self (by moving in) lest the man gets bored. If you were to get married, would he still not get bored? Looks like the entire dating thing is a ploy to 'trap' a man.  |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by unitee(f): 11:08pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Hmm, very interesting replies. to break a marriage needs an effort I think and marriage is binding to some extend so getting bored may not be an option the spirit of keeping on may prevail whereas when you just living in nothing binds me thinx |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by topup: 11:11pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
I really don't believe that it is good to move into a house together. Even though couples like to go and act like they'll be together forever, deep down inside I believe that if you don't make it permanent/final (get married), then you still have doubt in your mind. Aside from financial reasons any other reasons to move in together is really an excuse. Usually it is the woman who is smitten with the guy, because most of us know when we want to be with a guy forever, and so we compromise and move in together, thinking that this is just one step closer to marriage, when in fact it's in the opposite direction. The more things you do without the committment the less likely you are going to want to make that commitment, and then comes the argument; "things are perfect just the way they are, why would you want to change that." or "marriage is just a piece of paper, we do everything else, why do we need it. If you live together, you see things that with more maturity and the knowledge that you have to work things through will help you solve, but obviously if you are not attached to that person you will always have the idea that you can always leave, and that idea is what means you won't work as hard to work things through. If you don't know that your to-be spouse is a wife-beater or is a cheater or is messy by the time you even consider moving together, then that's a bad sign and reflects badly on your judgment to begin with. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by YankeeZulu: 11:22pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
bilqiss: ibkaye: not an excuse, but a possibility. Some sincere guys use this opportunity to watch their gf/wife-hopeful to see if she's just a lazy pig or if she can run a home. This close-range examination suits serious couples, this is why I said decent guy, not yeye playas. If a girl is stupid enuf to move in with a playa, too bad. Most girls who have "comma" or have bad habits/something to hide shd never try d live-in thing. One guy complained that while his gf lived with him she hardly woke up b4 10am and didnt brush or bathe till like 3pm. One other guy noticed that his gf was good with homekeeping and organsization, knew how to handle his moods when he got back from work, was lively all day and not moody like some. In short, he decided they had a future. So it all depends ok? |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by TOPE20001(f): 11:25pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
Move in as in like husband and wife? Then Hell NAH but i can spend some weekends with him but all the time  |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Nobody: 11:26pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
YankeeZulu:True, I guess I should have thought wider in terms of the possibilities, although me personally, I could not move in with a guy before marriage, I get where you are coming from, sorry. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by TheSeeker(m): 1:17am On Jul 27, 2009 |
When you move in with a guy, serious or not, there'll be problems later on and he'll get married to someone else. He'd see faults with you |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Gabry(f): 7:22am On Jul 27, 2009 |
My bf and I bought a house together (we work our money and we bought the house) and we are living together for years. To me its alright. I just treat it like an everyday life. I know we are able to identify each others bad points but we would just have to come clean and tolerate each other. Mostly to come clean in order to eliminate annoyance across each other. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by biola44: 7:56am On Jul 27, 2009 |
capital NO! d guy is trying 2 steal u! |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Gentlelady(f): 10:58am On Jul 27, 2009 |
Not a good idea! |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by DaudaAbu(m): 1:02pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
Good for u ohh. That is if u dont plan on getting married to him and jst wANT to xperiment hw long guyz stay 2geda without quarreling |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Nobody: 1:42pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
@poster there is absolutely nothing wrong with moving with your bf IN THE REAL WORLD. moving with him does in no way say that he wont marry you in the future. it just means that you have shift the plans around. it used to be first we marry then we move in together but that is slowly fading away. also a man that lives with you might not want to marry as soon as possible but it doesnt mean he will never marry you, just that marriage isnt important enough. society outside 9ja doesnt frown upon unmarried people living together so if you live in the west then its all good. also - if you already having sex then moving together shouldnt be any problem at all,. - if you are a virgin and waiting for that "beautiful" day after the wedding then you should stay at your parents home. - if you are already living on your own and is a virgin then you should let him know about your wishes(to stay virgin until D day) and if he agrees then there is nothing wrong with moving with him. some people would take that opportunity to know someone better, know if they really can be together and so forth. i would say, if someone knows they are the perfect bride, then they shouldnt be afraid to "reveal" who they truly are by living with their bf. (we all know how a woman can deceive a person while dating but living with someone will show who that person really is, no more fakeness. nobody wants to marry someone only to discover that she is impossible to live with and divorce within a year. it goes both ways and if a woman discovers that a man expect her to be a maid rather than a wife then its best for her instead of being "trapped" by that guy. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by aboveonly(m): 1:59pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
From christian point of view i wouldnt advise you to do such.The implication of such move may hurt you for the rest of your life.By moving in with your boyfriend before marriage you make your self very cheap and your self worth/respect would be at stake. How are you sure the so called boyfriend will marry you at the end of the day-there are so many cases of "use and dump", It is not good to move in with you boyfriend before marriage.Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled but God will judge wholemongers and adulterers(Hebrew 4:13). Stay blessed and focused! |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Tclegg: 3:22pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
Ma dear dat d wrongest thing 2 do becos dis guys or men dnt worth it d best thin u cn do may b u go dere 4 like 2weeks or weekends  |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by izeek(m): 3:30pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
for all y'all who says its a big no and all, lets asume that u both live alone seperately, and are in a city all bu urself working and all, somehow one person falls into some kinda financial mess, and can no longer meet his bills for a time period, and if in cutting cost he/she has to give up thier apartments, wud u proffer ur place as an alternative? |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Kx: 3:34pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
Move in and move out when the guy finds a wife. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by Nobody: 3:35pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
aboveonly: why you automatically think that living with someone means SEX? is it not possible in your world that she move in with him and still stay virgin to please your "bible verse" what in this act makes her "very cheap" and lacking self worth/respect?! the poster didnt say if 1) she was a virgin 2if she was having sex with the guy 3) if she was planning on having sex NOW that they will live together. |
| Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by henryhemon(m): 3:37pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
don't do it baby, |
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