Please whatever you do make sure it is all set (reciprocated love, commitment, respect and job) before you guys put babies into the equation.

MsJackson:
love. commitment. respect for marriage.

Op, sorry about what you are passing through. I'll advise that no matter how close you are to your inlaws, it isn't a good idea to deliberately put yourself at the receiving end. An example is the fact that you are working with your sister-in-law. That's really too close for comfort. Please, make sure you start saving if you haven't been doing so and start looking for alternative sources of income. If you get broke tomorrow, you'll be on your own and your husband will cling to his family.

MsJackson:
love. commitment. respect for marriage.

A marriage should be enjoyed and not endured.

What you've described is anything but that. Additionally, the early years of marriage should be the "sweetest", especially before the kids roll in. You're barely into the 2^nd year of yours and you've been dragged to hell and back, and back into hell again - when you ought to be in your honeymoon phase enjoying each other's company like there's no tomorrow.

But you haven't got that, have you? And yet you cling on, desperately. Love. Commitment. And respect, you say?

Mrs Jackson. Your husband doesn't love you - otherwise he wouldn't be treating you the way he currently does.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband isn't committed to you - otherwise you wouldn't suspect him of cheating on you.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband certainly doesn't respect you - otherwise he wouldn't let his family / sisters walk all over you, make derogatory comments about you - but would instead stand solidly behind you and support you in public.

Your idea(s) of what a marriage entails is/are wrapped to say the least.

Don't for a moment think bringing forth children into such a union would magically resolve your foundational issues. On the contrary, they'll add to them.

Stop papering over the yawning gaps and cracks in your "marriage". Open your eyes and admit the obvious. Be realistic.

MsJackson:
. Maybe it's because no child. AM I GOD? had I know... #sobs#

ogar o!
why are you attributing all of their bad behavior to yourself
my dear you need to cut yourself some slack and enjoy your life
all these people are adults o !
you need a break from this environment fast
self love will help you and your family too!

MsJackson:
For those of you Who still insisted that I knowingly went into this marriage with the sisters attitude, well I can't try to convince you further. if u aren't married, then you'll know that circumstances could change people. in my case, the issue of childbirth changed them(I think ), because they were so welcoming. we even ate from the same bowl(literally and otherwise ) we were that close. God dey.

Almost everyone who told you that you brought this upon your head is married. So yeah, we know what sucking up to relatives looks like. Or do you eat from the same plate as your mother and siblings? You think your tale is new? You saw a lastborn son, surrounded by sisters and played a role you couldn't sustain. Evidence of this is in what you say. If you had been friendly but maintained your boundaries before marriage, wouldn't your husband have known that you don't like interference from his family? Now you're coming here to throw yourself a pity party.
You sound exactly like some girl I know, who was sucking up to the husband's family in order to secure her ring. When she couldn't maintain it, she started acting up and most ignored her but her foolishness made her start fighting his mum (of course everyone turned against her). She packed out of the house her MiL pays the bills for, claiming the same things you are, painting a terrible picture and informing anyone who cared to listen of greviances that never happened (not one sibling insulted her to get face or even shouted at her, they told her to please respect the fact that they are all older than her and stop insulting their mum on fb).

Hmm, are you her?

Go and speak to your husband that you two should keep your lives private and be polite to your SiLs. Shikena.

And for all you singletons out there, biko stop pretending. You're just setting yourself up for future wahala. Show them your madness so there are no surprises. My MiL likes to yab me that I'm doing certain things for eye-service and she's usually right. But at least I didn't pretend before marriage

@op i wont advice you to divorce your husband.my 2 sister inlaws pretend alot.they wil laugh with you in your front n jawzag you behind.i stopped callin the eldest abt 3years ago due to her pretentous altitude.the second i stop callin her last year,because she z a backstabber also.infact whenever they comes around,i'd greet them,give them food n the rest,and fiam am off to my room or jejely leave the house,or devote my time to browsin n my child.point z...just try and ignore them pay less attention to dia gibberish,and trust me...you're gonna be FINE.

edwife:


It is better o,i don't have to cover myself up and down.

babes, you are old school jor. Now, it's spelt upandan
Ahnie, na lie I talk? How's baby gentleman Zino by the way? Kisses to him

@msjackson - I think you are searching for happiness in the wrong places and with the wrong people. True happiness comes only from within and the state of being happy is a choice you have to make. Choose to be happy, focus on making yourself happy; distance yourself from everyone and every situation that doesn't enhance your happiness. You've got no problem as far as I can see. It's all in your hands girl.

ahnie:
@op i wont advice you to divorce your husband.my 2 sister inlaws pretend alot.they wil laugh with you in your front n jawzag you behind.i stopped callin the eldest abt 3years ago due to her pretentous altitude.the second i stop callin her last year,because she z a backstabber also.infact whenever they comes around,i'd greet them,give them food n the rest,and fiam am off to my room or jejely leave the house,or devote my time to browsin n my child.point z...just try and ignore them pay less attention to dia gibberish,and trust me...you're gonna be FINE.

Na real war o. I would prefer they don't even get close to me than pretending to like me. One really needs to be cautious of revealing herself to such people.

Kimoni:


babes, you are old school jor. Now, it's spelt upandan
Ahnie, na lie I talk? How's baby gentleman Zino by the way? Kisses to him

@msjackson - I think you are searching for happiness in the wrong places and with the wrong people. True happiness comes only from within and the state of being happy is a choice you have to make. Choose to be happy, focus on making yourself happy; distance yourself from everyone and every situation that doesn't enhance your happiness. You've got no problem as far as I can see. It's all in your hands girl.

Lolz

Zino z a babe....not a guy!

Kimoni:


babes, you are old school jor. Now, it's spelt upandan
Ahnie, na lie I talk? How's baby gentleman Zino by the way? Kisses to him

@msjackson - I think you are searching for happiness in the wrong places and with the wrong people. True happiness comes only from within and the state of being happy is a choice you have to make. Choose to be happy, focus on making yourself happy; distance yourself from everyone and every situation that doesn't enhance your happiness. You've got no problem as far as I can see. It's all in your hands girl.

ahnie:
Zino z a babe....not a guy!

Really? I always thought otherwise. My apologies...

MsJackson:
For those of you Who still insisted that I knowingly went into this marriage with the sisters attitude, well I can't try to convince you further. if u aren't married, then you'll know that circumstances could change people. in my case, the issue of childbirth changed them(I think ), because they were so welcoming. we even ate from the same bowl(literally and otherwise ) we were that close. God dey.

I believe you because knowing how many Nigerians think they probably believe you had abortions and that's why you haven has a baby hence the attitude towards you.

Kimoni:

Really? I always thought otherwise. My apologies...

you're wlcum.

Onegai:


Almost everyone who told you that you brought this upon your head is married. So yeah, we know what sucking up to relatives looks like. Or do you eat from the same plate as your mother and siblings? You think your tale is new? You saw a lastborn son, surrounded by sisters and played a role you couldn't sustain. Evidence of this is in what you say. If you had been friendly but maintained your boundaries before marriage, wouldn't your husband have known that you don't like interference from his family? Now you're coming here to throw yourself a pity party.
You sound exactly like some girl I know, who was sucking up to the husband's family in order to secure her ring. When she couldn't maintain it, she started acting up and most ignored her but her foolishness made her start fighting his mum (of course everyone turned against her). She packed out of the house her MiL pays the bills for, claiming the same things you are, painting a terrible picture and informing anyone who cared to listen of greviances that never happened (not one sibling insulted her to get face or even shouted at her, they told her to please respect the fact that they are all older than her and stop insulting their mum on fb).

Hmm, are you her?

Go and speak to your husband that you two should keep your lives private and be polite to your SiLs. Shikena.

And for all you singletons out there, biko stop pretending. You're just setting yourself up for future wahala. Show them your madness so there are no surprises. My MiL likes to yab me that I'm doing certain things for eye-service and she's usually right. But at least I didn't pretend before marriage

You are far too judgmental yes many women do that but if she says that's not the case who are you to say no. Can you know better than her what transpired Not all cases are the same , she's right that it may be the child issues. There are cases of even mother in laws who liked their daughter in law until childbirth challenge and then suddenly they'll start saying she must have committed abortions or she's a witch and blah blah. Truth is in this society people love to blame women for delays in childbirth and they start to see the woman as the one who's stopping their brother or son from having a child.

EfemenaXY:


A marriage should be enjoyed and not endured.

What you've described is anything but that. Additionally, the early years of marriage should be the "sweetest", especially before the kids roll in. You're barely into the 2^nd year of yours and you've been dragged to hell and back, and back into hell again - when you ought to be in your honeymoon phase enjoying each other's company like there's no tomorrow.

But you haven't got that, have you? And yet you cling on, desperately. Love. Commitment. And respect, you say?

Mrs Jackson. Your husband doesn't love you - otherwise he wouldn't be treating you the way he currently does.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband isn't committed to you - otherwise you wouldn't suspect him of cheating on you.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband certainly doesn't respect you - otherwise he wouldn't let his family / sisters walk all over you, make derogatory comments about you - but would instead stand solidly behind you and support you in public.

Your idea(s) of what a marriage entails is/are wrapped to say the least.

Don't for a moment think bringing forth children into such a union would magically resolve your foundational issues. On the contrary, they'll add to them.

Stop papering over the yawning gaps and cracks in your "marriage". Open your eyes and admit the obvious. Be realistic.

Then should I just walk out of my marriage? not work at it? I can't just give up. People change. With God, all things are possible. Also av stopped working with my sister inlaw some months ago.He loves me, don't say he doesn't. And we'll both work to see things work out. We talked deep just now. Really deep. God, myself and my man will make this marriage work. I'll not give up. Thank u all for your advice.

Onegai:


Almost everyone who told you that you brought this upon your head is married. So yeah, we know what sucking up to relatives looks like. Or do you eat from the same plate as your mother and siblings? You think your tale is new? You saw a lastborn son, surrounded by sisters and played a role you couldn't sustain. Evidence of this is in what you say. If you had been friendly but maintained your boundaries before marriage, wouldn't your husband have known that you don't like interference from his family? Now you're coming here to throw yourself a pity party.
You sound exactly like some girl I know, who was sucking up to the husband's family in order to secure her ring. When she couldn't maintain it, she started acting up and most ignored her but her foolishness made her start fighting his mum (of course everyone turned against her). She packed out of the house her MiL pays the bills for, claiming the same things you are, painting a terrible picture and informing anyone who cared to listen of greviances that never happened (not one sibling insulted her to get face or even shouted at her, they told her to please respect the fact that they are all older than her and stop insulting their mum on fb).

Hmm, are you her?

Go and speak to your husband that you two should keep your lives private and be polite to your SiLs. Shikena.

And for all you singletons out there, biko stop pretending. You're just setting yourself up for future wahala. Show them your madness so there are no surprises. My MiL likes to yab me that I'm doing certain things for eye-service and she's usually right. But at least I didn't pretend before marriage

Throwing myself a pity party?And when did I tell u that he is the last born? because the way u comfortably and confidently assumed, I no understand. Please stay off my case, I don't need your type here.

Tolatutu:


You are far too judgmental yes many women do that but if she says that's not the case who are you to say no. Can you know better than her what transpired Not all cases are the same , she's right that it may be the child issues. There are cases of even mother in laws who liked their daughter in law until childbirth challenge and then suddenly they'll start saying she must have committed abortions or she's a witch and blah blah. Truth is in this society people love to blame women for delays in childbirth and they start to see the woman as the one who's stopping their brother or son from having a child.

Thanks my dear, for understanding. Leave onegai, I don't have strength for argument. I say white, she insists vehemently on seeing black, be my guest, no time.

MsJackson:
Then should I just walk out of my marriage? not work at it? I can't just give up. People change. With God, all things are possible. Also av stopped working with my sister inlaw some months ago.He loves me, don't say he doesn't. And we'll both work to see things work out. We talked deep just now. Really deep. God, myself and my man will make this marriage work. I'll not give up. Thank u all for your advice.

Really nice...

If your husband can change for good and see you for who you really are (his lovely wife), then your problem is solved; SILs will be ignored or they'll come around! !

I wish you the best...

PresVA:
Really nice...

If your husband can change for good and see you for who you really are (his lovely wife), then your problem is solved; SILs will be ignored or they'll come around! !

I wish you the best...

I appreciate your kind words

MsJackson, I like your strength and defence of ur marriage despite what you are going thru. Now pls take this strength and channel it into your marriage. If u believe your marriage will work and u work towards it, dear, it will surely work. Do not permit ppl to dictate what happens in ur home. Do not permit those who do not know how u started with ur Husband to make u doubt ur marriage. Do not permit ur sisters inlaw to destroy ur home cos at the end, they will go back to their own intact homes and u will be left with ruins. Concentrate ur efforts on ur home. Leave ur sisters inlaw to their opinions. Lets learn to make other ppl's actions and opinions hv less impact on our joy/lives. Anything u do, ppl will still talk. So live ur life to please ur God n immediate family first. If u think its cos of delay in having children that is causing this, then keep working on getting pregnant. Not worrying urself over what others are thinking and doing.

Loisemm:
MsJackson, I like your strength and defence of ur marriage despite what you are going thru. Now pls take this strength and channel it into your marriage. If u believe your marriage will work and u work towards it, dear, it will surely work. Do not permit ppl to dictate what happens in ur home. Do not permit those who do not know how u started with ur Husband to make u doubt ur marriage. Do not permit ur sisters inlaw to destroy ur home cos at the end, they will go back to their own intact homes and u will be left with ruins. Concentrate ur efforts on ur home. Leave ur sisters inlaw to their opinions. Lets learn to make other ppl's actions and opinions hv less impact on our joy/lives. Anything u do, ppl will still talk. So live ur life to please ur God n immediate family first. If u think its cos of delay in having children that is causing this, then keep working on getting pregnant. Not worrying urself over what others are thinking and doing.

Yes Yes thanks.

I have solution to your problem if you are interested contact me via my email: toochsamn@yahoo.com

stnglobal:
I have solution to your problem if you are interested contact me via my email: toochsamn@yahoo.com

Hmmmm. Solution provider.

https://www.nairaland.com/318334/trying-conceive-child-ttc/1375 MsJackson, U can check out or/and join this group for more help dear.

tearoses:


Its because she was slow of the mark and maybe was doing some eye service when she was courting their brother just to be in their good books.

I dont think that they changed
You only just noticed it now that you are in their family

My advise is to stop playing the victim or you will be like this till kingdom come
Hopefully it isnt too late
It seems that you are all too close....same job with your SIL is a little too close for comfort.

In the meantime Just be firm and let your yes be yes and your no be no
stop reporting them to your hubby as it puts him in a uncomfortable position
Just ignore them and dont get too close to them. Its not as if you eat from the same pot.
pls do not be rude to any of them. Be civil but keep a distance.
And like someone said...Yes please do pray

I also want you to remember that stress does impact on fertility, so please dont let anything stress you
All the best and I pray that you have your own baby soon.

If only single women out there will listen.

I never serve my sister wey dey do so much for me, na another person sister I wan go serve.

Even if I tried sef, e no go gree me.

How Important Is Attraction/good Looks In A Relationship? by MsJackson: 10:39am On Oct 19, 2013
Is it wrong to be attracted to and want to marry a guy becos of not only the good qualities he possesses but also becos of his good looks? I really dnt know how to phrase it. Is it ok to want to be wit someone becos his good looks trips u badly?



You made the wrong choice. Sorry.

Just as someone suggested... If all has been said and done and no changes.... Next option would be a seperation

ONODA wan don come o!
Death by 'vu-vu-vu-VLOKOS!

Hi dear, can you have a heart to heart conversation with your husband? Make him see where you hurt. He might me cheating on you, no one knows for sure but trust me, he can change , yes! he can. I also think you need to pray and ask God for guidance, dont think anyone here (including myself) can help, infact some of our comments might be harmful. Talk to the man you fell in love with and eventually married, bond with him, pray for him and keep 3rd parties out of your marriage. God be with us all. Amen

No sensations

Ur husband used to be all over u


U guys must av missed it at one point in time

Think deeply abt it.......

Myt be job,baby, etc

MsJackson:
love. commitment. respect for marriage.

How are doing now?
I hope you've been able to overcome your challenges...

When NL was still NL.