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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? (29232 Views)
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How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 12:10am On Nov 15, 2005 |
how does a guy ask his girlfriend's parents/father for her hand in marriage? So men on the forum who are married, how did you ask her parents/father for their daughter? A friend will be asking his girlfriend's dad soon and he needs some ideas. Her parents are Nigerian and they live in Lagos. 1 Like |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Seun(m): 1:21am On Nov 15, 2005 |
I am not comfortable with the idea of asking a girl's parents for her hand. I mean, what is that? If the parents don't accept me, am I going to walk away? And what happens if the parents accept my "proposal" but the girl says "no"? Will they force her or try to convince her on my behalf? Doesn't this mean that I see my future wife as a child under her parents and not a woman? I don't like this idea at all! I've always thought that what happens is that you propose to your woman, and then if she accepts, then you visit your parents together and tell them "we're getting married!" Or the woman goes to her mother and said "Seun asked me to marry him and I said 'yes'!" Or, "Seun asked me to marry him and I'm wondering if I should accept" But definitely not, "Seun wants me to marry him and I want your permission". Who wants to marry a child? Ok, I realise that I've not answered your question yet. Here is a link that might be helpful: > http://www.ehow.com/how_9810_ask-girlfriends-father.html 1 Like |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by hotangel2(f): 1:30am On Nov 15, 2005 |
Take kola nut and elders. The elders will do the job. All u have to do is sit and watch. And then you see your girl. Am i wrong? |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by monister(f): 1:56am On Nov 15, 2005 |
Seun: well my bf is also planning to do this but its more of a formality/respect for the father, my dad knows he's going to do it cause i already told my dad that this is the person i want to marry so he is just formally voicing his intentions to the father and asking for his blessing then he'll propose... monister |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 9:06am On Nov 15, 2005 |
this is a good one, im actually having the same problem. My girlfriends parents want's to meet me,, there's hevy pressure on her to bring home her boy-friend and i'm so confused on the "would they like me" factor.. She's the only girl af a muslim family im a christian, we are both of the same age range, she's expected to be getting ready for marriage while im not seeing it in 3 yrs time.... all these factors dont favor me one bit, yet i just have to go, to make matters worse none of her family members know me and we've been dating for like 4 yrs now.. Man im not a confuesd man? |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by gentleone(f): 3:10pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
@timmy, u've been dating for 4years n u dont know any of her family memebers thats too bad, even if her folks are not staying in the same place as u are,u're supposed to have met her sister/brother/cousin/aunty or whatever. knowing some of the family members already makes it easy for the man. u feel at home when u want to formally meet the parents. @allonym,as hot-angel said, the elders will actually do the job so let ur friend relax. the elders on both sides will do the talking so far the couples have agreed to marry each other. 1 Like |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 4:30pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
you forget gentleone that many people are students in a country where very little of their family reside. If they goto school in the US, and their family is in Nigeria, when would they meet (especially now where you'd rather finish your degree than take a chance at not getting your visa renewed). |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 4:32pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
For elders to do the talking, that assumes that on both sides they are willing to approve the marriage. However, this is still an issue. So, when we get to be elders, what exactly are our young ones expecting us to do? |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 4:54pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
@niceone: its not really like that sha, but i accept all blames, i was just feeling a liitle bit inferior about the whole relationship, she is very beautiful, fresh and well kept while was a nomal lagos boy working round the streets of lagos looking for a company to design a website or fixing a bad HDD to buying a new motherboard for a client. i Just decided to keep away until "i meet up" hope u understand.. well now im big, fresh, got a good account, getting a car soon and now clients beg me.. but ive already spoilt my impression though i know her younger brother, but not enuff to say i know her family.. |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by gentleone(f): 6:15pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
@allonym even if u guys are studying abroad, i'm sure u stay with one relative or family friend or whatever abi? so its really no excuse. @timmy,its not too late, u can start getting to know them now n please don't feel inferior or anytin, just be yourself. all d best |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 6:26pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
nope, you live at school on in an off campus apt. There aren't any relatives around. I'm guessing you are not a college age student. |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by gentleone(f): 6:29pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
ok fine, even if u stay on campus or an apartment, u can still speak with them on phone! there's really no excuse for not meeting any of ur girl's family for four years! |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 6:33pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
I think the meeting he talks of is a face to face one. It is quite different from a phone conversation. Talking to someone on the phone is one thing. When you must go in person, especially if you are asking for a hand in marriage, its entirely something else. Besides, if her parents were against her having a bf, they might find it easier to wait until they know they were serious, rather than getting the girl potentially in trouble over nothing. |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by IAH(f): 6:36pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
I think it's a necessary formality. Though the girl's parents might have known the man before, there should still be a time when the girl will bring him home formally. |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by gentleone(f): 6:48pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
ok |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by ocho(f): 7:31pm On Nov 15, 2005 |
ok, i know i have nothing to say that would be of help to you, so somebody please help him/them |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 1:41pm On Nov 16, 2005 |
@gentleone tanks a billion but i really wish it were that easy being your self, but ill'd try and probably go during the break (x-mas) 'cos she's in school right now |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Aderonke(f): 3:56pm On Nov 17, 2005 |
In actual fact, there's no big deal about meeting ur girlfriend's parent for her hand in marriage. It just a formal thing. Nothing so serious to fidget about. All you need to do is just be urself, relax and feel comfortable around them for your good intention towards their daughter. No parent would want to marry their daughter afterall! cheer up brother! 1 Like |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 12:23pm On Nov 18, 2005 |
thanks Aderonke, its the first time i'm seeing your post on this forum, are you new? All the same sha ill take your advice and be myself. But wait a minute, I don't even know myself, who am i? Someone please help me discover myself" |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Seun(m): 2:10pm On Nov 18, 2005 |
If you don't know yourself, you probably should not be thinking about marriage at all! |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Aderonke(f): 2:32pm On Nov 18, 2005 |
timmy: yea, i'm new. we'll get to know each better as time goes on... but wat a pity, u want to get married and u no sabi ur sef? r u sure u really know who u want to marry then? think veeeery well o! a word is enough for d wise anyway, no shakings... nothing dey happen! abi no b so? |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 7:11pm On Nov 18, 2005 |
she's expected to be getting ready for marriage while im not seeing it in 3 years time.... @seun dont think i said i was ready for marriage, all they just need is to see what i look like. @Aderonke, na so o nothing det happen But really guys i need to really know who i am but how? |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by prettyH(f): 6:39pm On Nov 21, 2005 |
u know what timmy, first sort urself out, then take the next step. cos if u havent gotten ur bearings then this topic shd be non existent . totally agree wiv seun forget marriage for the time being. |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by allonym: 6:50am On Nov 22, 2005 |
timmy is not the author of this topic |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 10:10am On Nov 22, 2005 |
yes ohh, i'm not the author of this thread and i'm not ready for marriage either at least not in the next 3 yrs. im still young now habba!! |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by prettyH(f): 1:16pm On Nov 22, 2005 |
oooooooooooooooopppppppppppp sorry bro |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Aderonke(f): 12:04pm On Nov 23, 2005 |
@ timmy, then y do u take it as a burden to know urself? since u r not ready for marriage until 3years time, i think u shld exercise patience by standing infront of a mirror from now on and ask urself who am i. I'm sure one day ur reflextion in d mirror will give u a definite answer dat u needed to hear! cheers |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 4:59pm On Nov 23, 2005 |
Aderonke, nice to read from you anyway sha the mirror thingy, i do dat every morning infact ive being duin dat for some 3 yrs now and all i see is one butt naked confused looking fella.. if by now the Morrow thingy is not working, then it sure wouldnt work... just give me another prescription |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Aderonke(f): 5:09pm On Nov 23, 2005 |
go for marriage couselling or something... they stand d better position to show DA WAY! |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 5:26pm On Nov 23, 2005 |
marriage couselling kee!!, ha dats to the xtrim oh, i'm not down with marriage yet and most times councillors dont give the right nformation one needs |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by Aderonke(f): 11:04am On Nov 25, 2005 |
Re: How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? by timmy(m): 12:37pm On Nov 25, 2005 |
what, you dont believe me, its true now |
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