I am at my breaking point right now. I am about to make an important decision in my life right now and I want to hear your various opinion on it to enable me choose wisely. Trolls pls stay away

I met this dude last year, he's everything u can think of in a man.... . Initially I thought he was acting good but I discovered that's he's person. He understands women perfectly to my taste, he knows the right thing to do without me asking, but he has anger issues and over jealousy but which I can deal.
God bears me witness that I lie not or exaggerate not.
The issue now is... we want to take the rltnshp to another level since I will be going to service soon. I went to meet my spiritual leaders to seek God's approval over the rltnshp. They both ask us to Move on. I went to God personally but He gave me signs that confirm what my pastors said.
But my most elder brother will have none of that.. .. he says he knows the family so much that he can NEVER allow me marry into that family. And he won't state his reasons. He keeps saying that family is bad.
My mom went to pray about this because the issue was causing problems between my brother and I. and was given the same confirmation.

The worse is that my other sisters who are also my senior are taking sides with him. Only my mum is on my side. This is a very sensitive issue.

I told the dude yesterday about my brother's opinion about his family and he cried to my surprise.

Pls, what do I do? Let the senior brothers in the house pls talk to me........

Your brother cannot dictate your choice. You have the decision to take so stand by it. The best your brother could do is to state the reasons why he feels the family is bad.

Sorry.. Maybe you should investigate yourself.. Like you should go and greet his family
Try to be observant.. I don't knw if what am saying makes any sense tho

Iamnotalone, you have to dig deep..


Serious digging.... ask questions... play detective...



Dis is marriage! Not a regular boyfrnd/girlfrnd relationship

Follow what ur heart desires...LOVE can move everything..


If u think u will be safe with him then risk it & show to the world that u both meant for each other.

He is your brother, right? Ask him. Let him tell you SPECIFICALLY what the problem with the family is.

You can decide what to do from there.

Two things are critical here. One is anger/jealousy issues and the other is his family. My dear, marriage goes beyond emotions. Do a bit of investigation about his family to know exactly what is wrong.

Try to watch this film "The Perfect Guy". it will teach you one or two things about anger/jealousy

Acidosis:
Your brother cannot dictate your choice. You have the decision to take so stand by it. The best your brother could do is to state the reasons why he feels the family is bad.

go reply

Oyind17:
go reply

done

maybe your brother dated one of their chic,and she broke his heart,and now he is saying that they are bad, but why not stop talking about marriage and date the guy for some time,maybe u see something yourself

KashyBaby:
Follow what ur heart desires...LOVE can move everything..


If u think u will be safe with him then risk it & show to the world that u both meant for each other.

My Philippine sis, marriage goes beyond love in this part of world.


Anger issues and jealousy in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a bad omen and can often escalate to something more sinister.
If any of my immediate family members had objected to my choice of a husband, I would've ran with my tails between my legs,. Reason being that I need all the helps I can get from my family when the chips are down, people I can run to without hesistating, people who got my back without bias or prejudice........
So look before you reap. Telling him what your brother said is so immature of you, what happens if you eventually agrees, how will he see your brother.
Think well...you situation is very dicey and you should play the game well.

KashyBaby:
.LOVE can move everything.

It's not and never enough to go into marriage

D

TheArchangel:
My Philippine sis, marriage goes beyond love in this part of world.


Anger issues and jealousy in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a bad omen and can often escalate to something more sinister.
If any of my immediate family members had objected to my choice of a husband, I would've ran with my tails between my legs,. Reason being that I need all the helps I can get from my family when the chips are down, people I can run to without hesistating, people who got my back without bias or prejudice........
So look before you reap. Telling him what your brother said is so immature of you, what happens if you eventually agrees, how will he see your brother.
Think well...you situation is very dicey and you should play the game well.

First of all Miss Nigeria ...isn't it clear that the op stated that she can handle her bf anger issue & jealousy?

And secondly, if u want to give a piece of advice... cud u plz direct it to the OP? coz definitely she is the one who needs helps and NOT me.

And lasty, too much blah blah blah won't make her decide properly instead u will juz personally spin her head..

Her mother already gave her a green light to go on, and what y'all murmuring about? Let them get married and be happy.



End of the story.

KashyBaby:






First of all Miss Nigeria ...isn't it clear that the op stated that she can handle her bf anger issue & jealousy?

And secondly, if u want to give a piece of advice... cud u plz direct it to the OP? coz definitely she is the one who needs helps and NOT me.

And lasty, too much blah blah blah won't make her decide properly instead u will juz personally spin her head..

Her mother already gave her a green light to go on, and what y'all murmuring about? Let them get married and be happy.



End of the story.

The first paragraph was referring to you while the second paragraph is meant for the op.

FYI, reading abbreviated and shortened alphabets makes my head spin. Thanks for your concern.

OP your brother needs to be open about the matter with his family, he needs to state his reasons. if his reasons are inconsequential, please carry on with the marriage. Just make sure you find out the reason for his objection.

If the "brother" can not state the problem with the family, then, he should forever hold his peace.

I mean, why can't he tell you exactly what it is that is wrong with the family. This goes to show that there is nothing wrong with the family. He might only have a personal problem with the family which shouldn't stop you from getting married to your dream man.

All these enemy of progress brothers sef

#ithankGodformysiblings.

Let your mum sit your brother down and ask him to reveal what ever he knows about your man's family.

Anger and jealously issues are bad friends together
Dont ignore this, as on a bad day this may result in a slap if he catches you having an innocent discussion with a male neighbour

As for your brother please ask him to tell you his reasons. They are very crucial.

In short make sure you know what you are entering into

What I dont understand is why you have to go seeking for the opinion of so called spiritual leaders to help you decide who to marry, and you also mentioned you are about finishing from higher institution right ?

It doesnt just add up.

Guitarlife:
What I dont understand is why you have to go seeking for the opinion of so called spiritual leaders to help you decide who to marry, and you also mentioned you are about finishing from higher institution right ?

It doesnt just add up.

Do you think physical & emotional attributes are enough to decide on who to marry?

Guitarlife:
What I dont understand is why you have to go seeking for the opinion of so called spiritual leaders to help you decide who to marry, and you also mentioned you are about finishing from higher institution right ?

It doesnt just add up.

I have to seek spiritual guidance since it's a life's journey. Don't want stories that touch in future. I just graduated from the University... About going for my NYSC. so what doesn't add up

Guitarlife:
What I dont understand is why you have to go seeking for the opinion of so called spiritual leaders to help you decide who to marry, and you also mentioned you are about finishing from higher institution right ?

It doesnt just add up.

What doesn't add up exactly? Is it the fact that I just graduated from the University and about going for my NYSC or the fact that I went to seek counsel over my rltnshp? I said it before, this is a sensitive issue, if u have nothing to contribute why don't u just read and pass

Acidosis:


Do you think physical & emotional attributes are enough to decide on who to marry?

I think if the poster cannot pray by herself and discern who her husband is then she has no business getting married.

Things like sexual compatibility and intellectual acumen also physical appeal together with spiritual convictions of partners are the basis on which a choice of life partner is based.

I doubt if any spiritual father can forsee those.

Its the duty of the spouse to look out for those things and then make intelligent inferece and decision.

Over spirituality has obviously not helped anybody in this country.

People run to spiritual fathers because they do not want to take full responsibilites for the consequences of their actions.