Anytime, any day, ladies are always fun to be with and to talk to. Campus ladies are quite a sight to behold in our universities though. You see all sorts-the packaged, unpackaged and the unpackageable.. To quote Umar (2016), in every classical university, there must be corresponding classical babes.’ Observing them has been a sort of comic relief to me in this eruditic environment; they are like inhalers during an asthmatic attack. So please, so enjoy your sojourn into the world of classical babes in classical universities. Don’t forget to crack your ribs (it’s not like you have a choice anyways).

1. BOYFRIEND ANALYSTS
In every nook and cranny of a classical university, you see these babes in groups, analyzing guys whose head dey there. They are the ones who know how expensive a guy’s outfits and accessories are. They even know the name of his haircut. These baes analyse guys based on material things whether original or fake. These baes never fall in love or lust with Garri and kulikuli guys. Na only Olorunsogo dey for them dicko.

2. LINGUAL MURDERERS
These baes kill English with the salivated ‘bullets’ in their oral cavity. The rather amusing thing is that these baes think they can speak ‘error-less’ English but I tell you, they murder English with many ‘kpa-kpas.’ When an observer hears these baes speak, he notices them very easily. You hear them say, ‘I am going to the hospiru,’ ‘Where can I get warer?’ ‘Do you wanted to date the guy?’ and so on. They are ‘forming baes.’

3. CAFETARIA BABES
These set of baes are always hungry. The only thing that can satiate their hunger is for a guy to take them out. Funnily enough, they will even choose the kind of cafeteria they want by themselves. Eating in a local canteen is not their hubby, you know. These are the baes who cafeteria attendants already know their orders even before they enter. These are the ones who spend more than what their benefactor spends in the cafeteria. If their benefactor is not hungry as the same time as they and gives them like 500 naira, these babes never return the balance. Babes sha!

4. SILENT BOOKWORMS
I have many friends in this category. They are potential scholars because they read anything readable and beneficial but they don’t flaunt their intelligence around. One only knows of their cerebral contents when one moves closer to them. They hardly talk in class except when they are pushed to the wall. They are good listeners and observers. These ones believe in the philosophy that says, ‘A little you say about yourself is too much.’

5. DAY DREAMERS
These are the baes that have dreams that cannot be achieved in the next 20 years but always want their dream achieved immediately. Life doesn’t work that way! You will see them hanging out with rich boys and men because they want to use the latest I-phones, Ipads, clothes, shoes, perfumes, make-up and other ‘I-must-belong-too’ accessories. Some of them are so desperate that they even dupe and trick guys that have big fishes and noiseless air-conditioned cars afterall, they gats belong nah.

6. SILENT SNIPERS
These baes are neither trained to kill enemies nor to devour birds of prey. They train themselves on how to bounce and shake their succulent frontal oranges and their two-leveled backyard ‘kola’ at night. During the day, these baes pretend to be decent but at night, they turn cockroaches waiting for nocturnal suckers. They call them ‘runs girls’ ‘olosho’ ‘sharp sharp’ ‘no waste time’ ‘open the door’ etc.

7. BBC CORRESPONDENTS
Hmmmm! The babes in this category can talk ehn! If you need any information, gist or rumour, just ask them and it shall be given unto you. They always have the latest information at hand. They are the ones who know the number of times bae A has slept with guy A, X, Y Z. They know the number of girlfriends that guys have had since 100level even when the guys themselves might have forgotten, They always have interest in the number of pregnancies that this bae and that bae have terminated. Anyways, these baes can be good sources of information to one at times.

8. ATTENTION SEEKERS
Aaaaaaa! These baes are many fa. They seek lecturers’ and students’ attention with body movements, physical presence and fake voice modulations. Most of these babes fancy front seats so they could display their different ‘packages,’ ‘noisy typefaces,’ ‘typesizes,’ and type-fonts. They are the ones who plaster makeup on their faces 24/7. Even in their dreams, they have to have foundation, lipstick, eye pencil, eye shadow, and blush only. They are the ones who carry hand mirrors everywhere so that they could adjust their makeup after every class.

9. SHEEPISH COPYISTS
It is not that these babes are gentle like a sheep; they just follow people as sheep do. In classical universities, they are the ones who never agree with what anyone but their lecturer says even if the latter are wrong. They never project their own views but only dance shoki with everything a lecturer says-hook, line and sinker.

10. S BABES
The babes in this category are not sickle cell carriers o! They are always in social media even when lecturers are in class. They are the I-must-snap-selfies babes. They are so into social media and selfies that they are almost sick without it in a day. The two S have been attached to them like twins confluenced in the head.

Written by Ajetunmobi Umar Olansile for Hub201.com
Reviewed by MOA

Source: http://www.hub201.com/classical-baes-you-see-in-classical-universities/

True
Dem dey everywia!!!

Op, u didn't add d fùcklicants?

My oh my!

I've seen my friend somewhere around there, lmao!

. Lalasticlala. Need to finish my chores. Will be back IF this hits FP. Lol

I will like to be number 4 when i get to the uni.