don’t think there anything more painful than watching others eat their share of the wedding jollof rice while the only thing you were able to get is serviette to dry your tears.
I’m usually so mad that once I leave the wedding, I stop by nearest fast food and throw a wedding buffet where I am the only attendee.
I have been a victim far too many times that I have been left with no choice but to research on all the possible ways to avoid this.

See below;

1. Pick the right table
Choose a table closest to where the food is being kept (If it’s a buffet) or where the influential people are seated to minimise the chances of being missed. E.g The mummies of the day canopy.
Some ‘big girls’ are fond of seating far away from the crowd then cry foul when they don’t get food.
Ushers assume five things which affects your chances of getting food.
– You are an uninvited guest.
– You are waiting for someone.
– You are too big to eat.
– You are waiting to clean the arena.
– You were not noticed when food was being served.
– You are the groom’s wicked ex.

2. Don’t let strangers sit with you
Most event decors at wedding receptions usually arrange a table for five or six. Assuming you attend a wedding reception alone or with a friend, there’s a high probability you would sit with four or more strangers at your table, who may be chronic long throats.
If this happens, the small-chops, cake, drinks, wine and whatever was kept on the table before the reception commenced are at risk!
Don NOT LET this happen! Lie the seat is already occupied if you have to.

A couple of a years ago, I attended a wedding reception with my cousins and when we were barely seated, one old lady in matron uniform who was obviously an uninvited guest claimed the last vacant seat.
Before I could say ‘Jollof’, she pulled out a Sacks&Motors bag and began fiddling with it. The wine was the first thing that went missing, followed by two cans of coke and all the disposable cups. When I asked her if she had seen ‘our wine’, she pointed at the juice.
Later she kept hovering around the kitchen area and I saw her quarrelling for souvenirs. Needless to say, when the reception ended, our lucky lady left with a full Sack&Motors bag. The only thing she didn’t go home with was the bride’s bouquet.

3. Sit with the gang you came with
Or people you are familiar with. This is the only way you’d be able to eat comfortably or call the police to arrest anyone that attempts to cheat you of your share of small-chops on the table.
Alternatively, you can try the head-girl method. Let me explain;
If I attend a wedding alone, what I usually do is make friends with kids I feel I can dominate during the church service so I can trick them to sit with me when the reception begins.

4. Sit with a guy
Naturally, guys would try to respect themselves at wedding receptions especially if they are trying to impress a girl.
Is any guy at the wedding hitting on you? Accept the invitation to sit with him and his group of friends.
Congratulations!
You’ve just earned yourself all the 6 packs of small chops on the table.

5 Smile when food is being shared
Ushers are more inclined to serve your table if you maintain a cheerful disposition. At least for the sake of the innocent people seated with you, SMILE! Put yourself in the ushers shoes, won’t you avoid serving the table where those seated wear a perpetual frown?

6 Compliment the ushers
Ladies naturally love compliments. Before the reception commences, tell an usher her teeth look nice, you admire the way she’s diligent at her job, you like the way her conscience radiates or she’s the most beautiful girl at the wedding and I, Naijasinglegirl, solemnly promise you won’t go home hungry in Jesus name.

7 Arrive early
If you arrive late to a wedding reception, you are on your own! First, all seats would be occupied and no one would serve you food while you are standing. Secondly, you stand a high chance of missing the exact time for item 7.
In fact, the only reason you should arrive late is if you are coming from a buffet or if your dietician recommended left-over cold jollof rice with no meat for you.

9 Be calm
If for whatever reasons, the ushers skip you when food was being served, even after you raise your head and kept whistling “Shhhhhhh excuse me. Hello? Excus…excuse meeeeeee,” stay calm.
Remain where you are, bend your head slowly on the table and cry your eyes out if it makes you feel better. Serviet to wipe your tears are always in excess, remember.
The last thing you want to do is switch to rows or columns where food hasn’t been served yet. You would only end up embarrassing yourself since ushers usually serve in a haphazard manner. If you have answers for accusations like, “I thought I saw you there earlier!”, “I gave you food,” “Madam please go back to your seat,” “Which kind long throat you be,” etc
By all means, continue chasing the ushers from row to row.

To summarise, if all else fails, realise shit happens and it is not the last wedding reception in world. I wish you success in your next wedding.


http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/get-food-nigerian-wedding/

Op... Impress who?
I go follow you hustle the remaining food oo...
Better not sit near me...
lol

Lolz... I only need to do one thing, which is making sure i'm well dressed and walk straight to the caterer spot, PICK UP MY OWN PLATE & SPOON THEN SERVE MYSELF

lol

BiafraBushBoy:
Op... Impress who?

I go follow you hustle the remaining food oo...

Better not sit near me...

lol

You think it's as easy as that?

Olajhidey22:
Lolz... I only need to do one thing, which is making sure i'm well dressed and walk straight to the caterer spot, PICK UP MY OWN PLATE & SPOON THEN SERVE MYSELF

The best thing is to attend only the ceremonies you would be respected as one of important guests.

Those special foods or meat you see them avoiding serving to just anybody are usually been keeping for some important guests.

See confarm tips.

I missed a wedding rice once before, even though I can afford that rice one hundred times, but e pain me...


Nothing compares to a wedding jollof rice. I swear..

Thanks for the tips Op, I will follow it to the letters

I would be back to share my experience

lol, NSG don come again.

But it's a two step process for me
1. Watch the delicious and aromatic rice pass you by like 5 times
2. The next time they're passing by, stand up, block him/her like a goalkeeper and collect one plate.

I had a good laugh reading this

I personally don't like attending parties but being a certified food lover, nothing is stopping me from eating a good portion of whatever catches my fancy.

Me I be certified food chopper lol!

Very funny,they usually search faces to serve,so sit with the mama and papa of the ceremony. My secret is I usually eat before going to a party so if I don't eat,I simply don't care!

Smartsyn:
I missed a wedding rice once before, even though I can afford that rice one hundred times, but e pain me...


Nothing compares to a wedding jollof rice. I swear..

Thanks for the tips Op, I will follow it to the letters

As in. Very painful no matter how cheap the rice is

Haba @Naijasinglegirl, has it gone that bad?

Oh my...!

Tip the usher serving your area with like 200h and have freely flowing food and drinks if the person is serving the two.

I've attended just one wedding and it was "serve yourself". Its always best to eat and fill your tummy at home before going out to an event. That way, if Op's tips doesn't work, you still have something in your stomach.

jeffizy:
Lol.
Usually, friends of the bride and groom suffer this fate most.
Especially the groom's men.
After dancing kukere with your paddy to the front, all seats are taken.
The bride and groom are too happy to notice their train members are floating.
Painful, I tell ya!

its not by seat o....unless the bridal train and the groomsmen no won chop...their food and drinks is always special.......

I love this NaijaSingleGirl I would love to meet her in person. Her write ups are reasonable and funny and inspiring. NSG I love you like a fat boy loves food.

I attended a wedding once for my Pastor. So I was told to make sure the hall was fully clean and evacuated. while we were wrapping up I and my crew found a black bag under one of the tables full of take away food, drinks, cutleries and two hand blender and flask each, which I think was left behind by someone who was busy collecting; after all some of us got nothing. As the team leader they brought it to me and I did justice to it.

That is why I don't like attending weddings, but you just try attend a grandpa or grandma burial ceremony and see that the Lord is good

Awww...Crying

khalidqudus:
I love this NaijaSingleGirl I would love to meet her in person. Her write ups are reasonable and funny and inspiring. NSG I love you like a fat boy loves food.

this is damn hilarious

To get food at a wedding reception,

Wear good clothes
Sit in the midst of important people that are close to the front...not those at the back...the key here is the environment ,ushers try to start at the front with dignitaries.
Also be busy with your borrowed IPAD or phone if you come with any,

Then smile confidently.




childhood at ONTISHA was CRAZY

O B U [ ONITSHA BROUGHT UP ]





FREE BUZ COMPLIANT

I don't eat at public events, cos I was brought up not to eat outside. I make it a point of duty to fill my stomach before any public function. The most I could take is maybe a drink, wouldn't even take a snack......
......
.........
so let me quietly walk out of the thread, I don't belong here

I like going wit my friend Bayo. Mehnnn that guy can hustle food. His way with the usher girls are out of this world. I am just the calm one.

...