cococandy:
Epic

. What's epic?are guys the only ones killing there wives? Go google it and stop droping names of the shondes and arowolos.the weaker vessel aka women have been found to kill there husband's more than the other way round. There is a case going on in Ibadan now where a lawyer of a wife slit the husband troat in the middle of the night after an altercation in the evening, the landlord evev advice the guy to not go home yet after he was stab by the wife.violence is not gender based in marriage. You will not even believe what goes on in marriage. To tell you we have 4 types of abuse,physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, research as even gone ahead to show that there are about 75% of women that are capable of doing the whole 4 Abuse's on the male folks.

Does that mean abused people should stay with their abusers?

Because I don't understand this your rant.
Men who go through abuse have my support to leave their abusive spouses.

I don't see how telling women to leave husbands who abuse them negate the occurrence of male abuse.

You gat no point

Rexleo:
. What's epic?are guys the only ones killing there wives? Go google it and stop droping names of the shondes and arowolos.the weaker vessel aka women have been found to kill there husband's more than the other way round. There is a case going on in Ibadan now where a lawyer of a wife slit the husband troat in the middle of the night after an altercation in the evening, the landlord evev advice the guy to not go home yet after he was stab by the wife.violence is not gender based in marriage. You will not even believe what goes on in marriage. To tell you we have 4 types of abuse,physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, research as even gone ahead to show that there are about 75% of women that are capable of doing the whole 4 Abuse's on the male folks.

Juzzybabe:


I didn't wanna answer you cuz obviously you didn't read through my responses. I want family. I married him knowing he had nothing. Living in dubai doesn't mean he's rich but i had never had any love nor support from him although he was and is still capable of meeting ends he only dont want to do so. When i dated him,he lived on my pockets. I am a strong woman,i don't depend on people for survival. How i wish i could post of pix of my kid and myself. am beautiful,brilliant and talented and educated. Yes i have short short comings cuz am human. But i hate when u keep repeating "USING THE CHILD TO PUNISH HIM" Neither am i waiting for him to cater for my daughter. My daughter should be in the US to have a good life before this year runs out. My dear,am not waiting for him to support. as i type now,am still in the office. I work hard for my own money.
Y i will never take back my husband,i just discovered that my husband apart from all that has been conspiring between us had the guts to forward to my brothers closed pix i shared with him while he was away. He told my brothers am loosed to have snapped and send him such pix. but he requested for them. and i as a wife felt its good to share at least he is my husband. So dear, apart from all other thing this alone which i have not stated all along is reason far enough for me to stay clear of that dude. And trust me,my brothers are waiting for him. Some would say y didn't u leave ever since, but its marriage moreover i married the man i had truly loved. I hope some of us will learn from my mistakes tho.

Na wa ooooo, that same husband of yours did that again. Taryur3, did you read this at all? @Juzzybaby please do the needful, see if you can seek for annulment in the church. That man has some guts I must say.

MRBrownJ:


AGAIN, whether a man beats a woman OR NOT is irrelevant to the point at hand, because if that was REALLY an issue, then thats what the OP would have written as the MAIN reason why she needs a divorce... but, as we can all clearly see, even after all the beatings, this woman was willing to accept this man "IF":
- the husband has intention of settling down and having a family (with her)
- the husband shows signs of care AND remorse over he and his parents acts towards her.
- he supported the child in any way.

so stop fooling yourself, as i said earlier, this is just revenge (using their child) from the OP, because husband didnt do the above point

Oh really? The fact that the man almost killed her when she was eight months pregnant should be overlooked because she mentioned it later. Gosh what is this world turning into? Are you indirectly supporting the man for beating her or what? Because from your post, you're overlooking it ooo, I am sure that was how Titi Arowolo, Nike Shonde and Rose sougie and even Mr. Oyelowo (the man that was killed by his wife) were all adviced to stay and make it work, till they ended up walking to the great beyond and lots of people who were never mentioned to the media, my school daughter in the university then narrated how her eight month pregnant aunts was murdered by her husband all in the name of for better for worse and after that incident her grandma couldn't survive, she died not quite long from her daughter's death , she died because she was too devastated( you know old people now, she lost the will to live). God forbid her own case gets to that. She needs freedom and she will get it.

Prettiepearlz:

Na wa ooooo, that same husband of yours did that again. Taryur3, did you read this at all? @Juzzybaby please do the needful, see if you can seek for annulment in the church. That man has some guts I must say.

@Pearl...just getting this...though...av been busy since...@Juzzybabe...am just confused after reading what you just ppsted...your own husband shared your nudes with your brother ? This got me thinking how you guys met and get married till you have a baby together..
Well, since you made up your mind...I have nothing to say again.av even been abused cos of this your post from some ladies as I ain't sharing same view with them...good to know that you are the type of lady that works hard to meet up with your bills.wishing you best of luck dear and always remember God in all your endeavours.God bless...

Prettiepearlz:

Oh really? The fact that the man almost killed her when she was eight months pregnant should be overlooked because she mentioned it later.

it certainly shouldnt be focussed on "now" that she is seeking excuses to dismiss this father. yes that man has done many wrongs but he hasnt done ANYTHING to warrant being deleted from this child's life.

Gosh what is this world turning into? Are you indirectly supporting the man for beating her or what? Because from your post, you're overlooking it ooo,

nah i am FOCUSSING on what is important here, and you people are NOT. i never ever said that this woman should stay with this man, i said she should ALWAYS allow this father to have access to this child. you people are using this act of abuse to punish this child, which is WRONG in my book. this woman has moved away (finally) so i dont even know why you guys are still mentioning the abuse, as if it is an issue here. NONSENSE!

I am sure that was how Titi Arowolo, Nike Shonde and Rose sougie and even Mr. Oyelowo (the man that was killed by his wife) were all adviced to stay and make it work, till they ended up walking to the great beyond and lots of people who were never mentioned to the media, my school daughter in the university then narrated how her eight month pregnant aunts was murdered by her husband all in the name of for better for worse and after that incident her grandma couldn't survive, she died not quite long from her daughter's death , she died because she was too devastated( you know old people now, she lost the will to live). God forbid her own case gets to that.

most of these women did a mistake, and they had to pay for it in a gruesome way, but thats IRRELEVANT to whats best for the child in this issue. even if that man beat her every night, he still has ALL the RIGHTS to see his daughter (when he will finally desire it)

She needs freedom and she will get it.

she is in GH while this man is in DXB... is that not freedom?! she just has to get a lawyer and file for divorce... where is the big deal/issue?! is that SOOOOOOOOOO difficult for this seemingly successful/intelligent/mature/financially comfortable woman to do?!

MRBrownJ:


it certainly shouldnt be focussed on "now" that she is seeking excuses to dismiss this father. yes that man has done many wrongs but he hasnt done ANYTHING to warrant being deleted from this child's life.



nah i am FOCUSSING on what is important here, and you people are NOT. i never ever said that this woman should stay with this man, i said she should ALWAYS allow this father to have access to this child. you people are using this act of abuse to punish this child, which is WRONG in my book. this woman has moved away (finally) so i dont even know why you guys are still mentioning the abuse, as if it is an issue here. NONSENSE!



most of these women did a mistake, and they had to pay for it in a gruesome way, but thats IRRELEVANT to whats best for the child in this issue. even if that man beat her every night, he still has ALL the RIGHTS to see his daughter (when he will finally desire it)



she is in GH while this man is in DXB... is that not freedom?! she just has to get a lawyer and file for divorce... where is the big deal/issue?! is that SOOOOOOOOOO difficult for this seemingly successful/intelligent/mature/financially comfortable woman to do?!

Okay, I get your point now. But don't you think the man is also planning to get the child and then make the child forget the mother? Because he also wants the child for a reason.

MRBrownJ:


it certainly shouldnt be focussed on "now" that she is seeking excuses to dismiss this father. yes that man has done many wrongs but he hasnt done ANYTHING to warrant being deleted from this child's life.



nah i am FOCUSSING on what is important here, and you people are NOT. i never ever said that this woman should stay with this man, i said she should ALWAYS allow this father to have access to this child. you people are using this act of abuse to punish this child, which is WRONG in my book. this woman has moved away (finally) so i dont even know why you guys are still mentioning the abuse, as if it is an issue here. NONSENSE!



most of these women did a mistake, and they had to pay for it in a gruesome way, but thats IRRELEVANT to whats best for the child in this issue. even if that man beat her every night, he still has ALL the RIGHTS to see his daughter (when he will finally desire it)



she is in GH while this man is in DXB... is that not freedom?! she just has to get a lawyer and file for divorce... where is the big deal/issue?! is that SOOOOOOOOOO difficult for this seemingly successful/intelligent/mature/financially comfortable woman to do?!

Okay, I get your point now. But don't you think the man is also planning to get the child and then make the child forget the mother? Because from every indication, he also wants the child for a reason too, probably to spite her.

Prettiepearlz:

Okay, I get your point now. But don't you think the man is also planning to get the child and then make the child forget the mother? Because from every indication, he also wants the child for a reason too, probably to spite her.

that man should NEVER have unsupervised access/visitation with this child UNTIL they are assured that he isnt a flight risk etc

Prettiepearlz:

Na wa ooooo, that same husband of yours did that again. Taryur3, did you read this at all? @Juzzybaby please do the needful, see if you can seek for annulment in the church. That man has some guts I must say.

Like I said dear,I can't mention one by one all that happened and still happening that made me decide to just quit for good. The story is long.

Juzzybabe:


Like I said dear,I can't mention one by one all that happened and still happening that made me decide to just quit for good. The story is long.

Dear, I can understand you perfectly and I admire your courage for coming out boldly asking for help.Just do the needful and move on with your life. Like I said beckon on God to go on this journey with you, you can always visit him at the adoration chapel. Have you gotten a lawyer yet?

MsGlobalwonder:
"endure" just like ronke shonde endured lekan's beatings. She is dead now.

Someone in as far away land as Dubai beats someone in Ghana abi Naija .they might have had such issue before d guy travel back to Dubai but I don't think beating Is d reason she posted this Here.

Unfortunately my dear lady i think you married a boy.
See below excerpts from a letter Pst Tony of TPH wrote to his daughters
]Don’t Marry a Boy:
Don’t marry a boy no matter how old he may be. Today, there are many boys masquerading as men. Your brother’s school principal once told us that their vision was to prepare the kind of men we would be proud to have as husbands to our daughters. I found that simple but thought provoking, and I have myself since committed to mentoring young men. Do not fall for any man who just shows you attention. Rather, follow the one who comes along and shows the graces that come from knowing Christ. Be attracted to tenderness, self-restraint, internal strength, consistency and sacrifice. Love the man who fears the Lord. I apologise for the incessant complaints about our young men. I regret that they often confuse lust with love. Many say that it is difficult to find a man with godly virtues, but I advise you to search for this otherwise you will spend a long time nursing a grown man. The man you should look out for should be one who cares for your needs above his own. If I am at all the man I claim to be, my display of love towards your mother should help you understand what it is I am describing. You should be able to recognize this sort of love when you see it. The man who will lay down his life for you is the type of man you can easily give your life to. The man who gives himself in sacrifice is easy to serve sacrificially.
[/b]

scachy:

Someone in as far away land as Dubai beats someone in Ghana abi Naija .they might have had such issue before d guy travel back to Dubai but I don't think beating Is d reason she posted this Here.

ok! Beating is no big deal to you anyway.. smh!

MsGlobalwonder:
ok! Beating is no big deal to you anyway.. smh!

I never said that neither do I support physical abuse. But u can shake ur head harder if it ll make u feel better.

I think i just need to relax and wait for events to unfold. My hubby asked my siblings for my home address, he said he was coming for his baby. My siblings was nice enough to give him the address hoping that when he arrives,that's if he mean it, they will try to mend things. But my hubby suddenly got mad again and accuse them of giving him wrong address which he didn't even verify. He started throwing serious insults at my brothers who are years older than him and as at yesterday they were forced to block him off their social networks as he just couldn't stop the madness. Well this morning he messaged my sis who is still tolerating him after all in rudeness to her, that he will soon send his divorce letter through her for me to sign.

I think this saves me all the stress. He warned her never to call him "My In-law".

Juzzybabe:
I think i just need to relax and wait for events to unfold. My hubby asked my siblings for my home address, he said he was coming for his baby. My siblings was nice enough to give him the address hoping that when he arrives,that's if he mean it, they will try to mend things. But my hubby suddenly got mad again and accuse them of giving him wrong address which he didn't even verify. He started throwing serious insults at my brothers who are years older than him and as at yesterday they were forced to block him off their social networks as he just couldn't stop the madness. Well this morning he messaged my sis who is still tolerating him after all in rudeness to her, that he will soon send his divorce letter through her for me to sign.

I think this saves me all the stress. He warned her never to call him "My In-law".

Opari niyen. The marriage has ended already, wait for his letter, then you sign it. He will definitely regret this, I am sure of that and when that time comes, remind him that he sent the divorce papers and not you. But if the papers no come on time, send yours and forget all about him. God will show you the way dear.

scachy:

I never said that neither do I support physical abuse. But u can shake ur head harder if it ll make u feel better.

k

WORLDPEACE:

What have Nigerian men done again? The fear of every man is the beginning of wisdom. After God and the angels in heaven it is the men on earth. Don't you ever forget that hierarchy. It will will get you far, South African girl.

Juzzybabe:
I think i just need to relax and wait for events to unfold. My hubby asked my siblings for my home address, he said he was coming for his baby. My siblings was nice enough to give him the address hoping that when he arrives,that's if he mean it, they will try to mend things. But my hubby suddenly got mad again and accuse them of giving him wrong address which he didn't even verify. He started throwing serious insults at my brothers who are years older than him and as at yesterday they were forced to block him off their social networks as he just couldn't stop the madness. Well this morning he messaged my sis who is still tolerating him after all in rudeness to her, that he will soon send his divorce letter through her for me to sign.

I think this saves me all the stress. He warned her never to call him "My In-law".

Good to hear! Atleast he has made it easier for you to move on! When the papers come, do not hesitate to sign it. Also try as much as you can to keep your child with you.... I don't see him taking care of that baby as well as you would do. Secondly, what kind of upbringing will your child have without a mothers love.... I wish you all the best!

Siena:


Shocking.

Why do people try using religion to justify pain and evil? And misquote Biblical text in the process?

I didn't even quote any scripture brother. What do u mean religion by the way. Am not being religious just being real, marriage is not joke dude, you can't just jump in and out.

Rexleo:
. What's epic?are guys the only ones killing there wives? Go google it and stop droping names of the shondes and arowolos.the weaker vessel aka women have been found to kill there husband's more than the other way round. There is a case going on in Ibadan now where a lawyer of a wife slit the husband troat in the middle of the night after an altercation in the evening, the landlord evev advice the guy to not go home yet after he was stab by the wife.violence is not gender based in marriage. You will not even believe what goes on in marriage. To tell you we have 4 types of abuse,physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, research as even gone ahead to show that there are about 75% of women that are capable of doing the whole 4 Abuse's on the male folks.

Domestic violence knows no gender. Anybody, be it make or female, in a violent relationship should back out before it's too late and pay with their lives.

That being said I have not seen any female make excuses for the killer lawyer lady the way most guys would.Have if the case was reversed.

And please my good people stop quoting and responding to mrbeastjay. The father doesn't want or care about his daughter, should she shove her down his throat?

Dreal11247:
Having gone through your previous post, it's very clear that the marriage is established on a faulty foundation. I'm counselling as a true child of God. We always advice intending couples that they engage in much prayers before marriage against the plots of the wicked and for God to stop the marriage if it is not going to be favourable.
With this, there is still hope for you in God. Prayers are needed to correct all that are not right. I will advice that you forget about divorce as that is never a good option. There are forces that fight marriages. Some of them remain silent till immediately after the marriage.
With God, all things are possible.

This is what you call truly useless advice. There is no tangible advice except to pray-which is the same as doing nothing. You need PRACTICAL solutions now but this one is saying nonsense. What you could've done is not relevant now. What you should do is the issue. Note how he/she first elevates himself to a position so that they can look down on you, by telling you that they are a 'true' child of God (na you be child of Satan)

Back to the matter at hand. Forget prayers, they won't do you any good now. First, speak to a real lawyer. Nairaland is full of jobless youths and as such you are unlikely to get useful answers. When my sister had her own marital issues, I found that the law here is extremely different from that in US or UK. Eg. In Nigeria, the child ALWAYS goes with the father. Unbelievable eh?

Secondly, prepare your mind for all outcomes. Including the end of the marriage. Only a slowpoke will say you MUST remain in a marriage. Some marriages are worse than prison. Worse than torture. In fact, there is nothing in this life you MUST do, except be good.

Thirdly, as long as you are financially stable, leave the man make e go. We here can never know what the full story but everyone agrees that there's no point being unhappy.

Until this moment, my husband has not send anything for divorce but he is disturbing me to send his rings and marriage certificate. Make una see me see trouble oooo. Abeg, is this how divorce is done?

Until this moment, my husband has not send anything for divorce but he is disturbing me to send his rings and marriage certificate. Make una see me see trouble oooo. Abeg, is this how divorce is done?

Juzzybabe:
Am trying to reach the priest who celebrated our wedding mass. Other priest i consulted said he's the right person to start with. Meanwhile,they are saying i need to come over to Nigeria but i don't have that time now. Trying to see what can be done from here.

why do you attach so much important
to marriage? ?

if ino work be say ino work abi u wan kiil
yourself. ...nawa ooo

a very simple thing oo abi na u bi de first
person wey hin marriage no work

wen u die marriage continues

Juzzybabe:
Until this moment, my husband has not send anything for divorce but he is disturbing me to send his rings and marriage certificate. Make una see me see trouble oooo. Abeg, is this how divorce is done?

Tell him to send the divorce papers first.

thorpido:
Tell him to send the divorce papers first.

Initially, he had been throwing insults at my siblings on social networks which i warned him and even called his Dad to caution him on. Now he has threaten that if i don't send him the rings and marriage cert through DHL,he's gonna keep troubling my siblings.

Juzzybabe:


Initially, he had been throwing insults at my siblings on social networks which i warned him and even called his Dad to caution him on. Now he has threaten that if i don't send him the rings and marriage cert through DHL,he's gonna keep troubling my siblings.

They should just block him on all social media.Tell him to get his lawyer to file for divorce and send the papers.

Taryur3:

@Pearls....I can see that you are a responsible and we'll nurtured girl...Truly youve wrote something serious but still not the best.I went tru both the old and her new story and I am not blind to comprehend wts going on here.I am born and brought up in catholic family too...I have a uncle that is a rev...father...I would have even be a priest today...had it been my mum supported me...but thank God for whom I am today. I guess this lady married to a yoruba guy...and if this is tru. ..try and comprehend what yoruba marriage looks like.it has not been easy I can tell you especially when the husband family is against you.the issue here is...come and work in dubai while you live our baby with my parent after six month.I know it's not easy especially the love between a new mother and a baby...but every struggling have an expiry date now...which marriage is perfect?I have seen alot of similar things like this especially with guys abroad. What this people need is just to see each other in the absent of their parents and settle out things...there are some people advising her for divorce...I shake my head...I think they said d devil you know is better than the one you are not familiar with...I cnt pour out much here buh I wish to get the contact of this lady and talk to her. I never support that naughty man beating her wife in such critical condition but you guys never hear from the other side and you judge so sharp.I stand with my own...divorce is not the best...we are all human...the stubborn man can come to his sense if some certain ppu talk to him.God bless

If u really want to help, why not try and get d contact of the man and talk to him.

histemple:


Were you expecting your mum to tell you that the child is yours alone?
For God's sake, you ran away with that child from the guy's parents.
The only legal resort you have now is to sue him for desertion, but can you prove that he actually deserted you and the child?------that is, did he run away from his known address?
I hope you will tell the child that you refused to stay with your in-laws and absconded to your preferred destination only to claim that he is irresponsible?

Why on earth should a human being reason like this? So you expect her to live with in-laws while they turn her to slave and make her life meaningless? Why can't the man get her apartment n give her the respects she deserve. No family member will ever respect her if she lives with them. She can only live with them if she so desires not by forcing her. Take African life aside, will you be comfortable living with your in-laws especially when your spouse is not around? Why do you men always make it a point that women must endure, endure n keep enduring when you guys can't even endure a bit? Put her in your shoe now or assumed her to be your sister, haaba!