Gudevening my dear nairalanders forgive my
writing because am not much of a writer but a
reader.A friend of mine opened her heart to me
on the frustration she is facing from her father
but I could not give any advice but I told her to
hold on because i have a team of experts online
when it comes to relationship issues. she has
been dating a guy for 3 years now and he
decided to pop the question and ask her to
marry him n she said yes but now her dad does
not want her to marry him just because he is
not a doctor or a engineer or a rich man son and
even threatens to disown her if she counter his
decision and give her birthright to her
immediate sibling. he said the guy is a lowclass
because he is not from a rich home and he
can't send her to the university and she brings
home an average man that makes her happy or
she loves but must bring a graduate and a rich
man or no marriage.she is torn between her
love for her man because he is her everything
and her father.
P.S!!!the father of the girl and her fiancee are
into the same job but her dad is his
senior.please she needs advice. thanks

Hmmm what selfless elders see sitting down you may not see from the roof of cocoa house. Love is often not enough for a successful marriage.

Deep sigh

The mama nko?Wetin the mama talk?

thorpido:
The mama nko?Wetin the mama talk?

The mother wants her to be happy and the man is her happiness then she has her blessings.

smellingmenses:
Hmmm what selfless elders see sitting down you may not see from the roof of cocoa house. Love is often not enough for a successful marriage.

love is the key to a successful marriage because when u marry ur bestfriend and you are in love it gives you strength to fight the battles ahead n wen tinz are tough u hold on to that love because that's d only weapon u have. I rest my case.

merikims:
love is the key to a successful marriage because when u marry ur bestfriend and you are in love it gives you strength to fight the battles ahead n wen tinz are tough u hold on to that love because that's d only weapon u have. I rest my case.

Let me put it crudely.... Romance without Finance is equivalent to Nuisance.

smellingmenses:

Let me put it crudely.... Romance without Finance is equivalent to Nuisance.

The guy is very well too do,he has his own house which he built n a very successful side business(he is into poultry farming), Has two cars and he also has a federal job but yet because he not from a rich background or a bsc holder he is a lowclass human being.so tell me now wats ur stand?

I will advise she should try to convince her father but if he refuses then she should let the man go.
My reason: A man can seized being a husband (talking about divorce) but your parents remain your parents for life (even those that pretend to disown their children) Never turn your back to any of your parents because of love/marriage.

The girl's father is not just a poor man, he is mentally poor too which is worse. He wants his daughter to Marry a "rich man" son. Where was he when his mates were getting "rich"?

Chai! Na this kind man dey go omugwo. No shame. Tufiiiaaa!!!

merikims:
The guy is very well too do,he has his own house which he built n a very successful side business(he is into poultry farming), Has two cars and he also has a federal job but yet because he not from a rich background or a bsc holder he is a lowclass human being.so tell me now wats ur stand?

Talk to your mom... Find out why the dad is against it. For me it's a no no cos from experience such a gut stopped the lady from moving forward academically and professionally due to inferiority complex.... Your dad may still be right

WHOcarex:
The girl's father is not just a poor man, he is mentally poor too which is worse. He wants his daughter to Marry a "rich man" son. Where was he when his mates were getting "rich"?

Chai! Na this kind man dey go omugwo. No shame. Tufiiiaaa!!!

Be careful I could have said same but am using a bifocal lens to examine the issue

I believe the father has some fears but that's not the best antidote. She can only continue to pray about it for the will of God to prevail and see if there are esteemed friends and relations to speak to him about it.

I don't really encourage people getting married without parental consent.

smellingmenses:

Be careful I could have said same but am using a bifocal lens to examine the issue

Lol. So annoying

merikims:
The guy is very well too do,he has his own house which he built n a very successful side business(he is into poultry farming), Has two cars and he also has a federal job but yet because he not from a rich background or a bsc holder he is a lowclass human being.so tell me now wats ur stand?

Are you kidding me?

Merikims... Your friend huh?

merikims:
The guy is very well too do,he has his own house which he built n a very successful side business(he is into poultry farming), Has two cars and he also has a federal job but yet because he not from a rich background or a bsc holder he is a lowclass human being .so tell me now wats ur stand?

what's your definition of class? because someone has to start something in every generation.

Let me give you a guide, is it tied to his background or the life is building for himself? We also know of someone here who doesn't have a degree but has done so well.

So he's in the same job with the guy he considers low class. He's admitting he's low class himself.
What if his parents-in-law didn't let him marry their daughter because of his status?

WHOcarex:
Are you kidding me?

nope.am dead serious.

Dioxidane:
Merikims... Your friend huh?

Prom....yes.

Jamean:


what's your definition of class? because someone has to start something in every generation.

Let me give you a guide, is it tied to his background or the life is building for himself? We also know of someone here who doesn't have a degree but has done so well.

I meant her dad refers to him as a low class despite his achievements.

cococandy:
So he's in the same job with the guy he considers low class. He's admitting he's low class himself.
What if his parents-in-law didn't let him marry their daughter because of his status?

I just tire for d mata.

merikims:
nope.am dead serious.

The father is a failure, and he is putting the anger on his daughter.

[quote author=merikims post=46663956]

I rarely comment on issues like this unless I have given it deep thought and I am very sure of what I am advising.
May we answer this question: Who had the final say when it comes to choosing a wife or husband?
Definitely not the parents.

Even in those days, when the suitors came, the lady would still be asked if she accepted so the elders could go ahead and drink the wine, etc.
It's easy to say "Pray about it", but that's not been realistic. This is a practical problem that needs a practical solution.

If love is not enough for a successful marriage, what is?
The lady should not be afraid of being disowned by her father, he is just bluffing.
It is better to marry somebody you love with whom you can build together.
That way, you become an equal and respected partner.

Provided a man has potential and is hardworking, ladies go for him if you love him.
Parents soon pass away and a wife is stuck with her husband for a long time.
Better the devil you know than the unknown angel.

If problems arise in the future, it will be easy to bear 'cos it was a personal choice...
But not so if the girl was forced into it.

if only people knew the future, they wouldn't do what they do. This are part of the reasons so many people go to all sorts of prophets so as to know their future and how to walk along that path. Situations like this are big quagmires, you can never predict who the man would turn out to be in future, you can't know how he will treat his wife, you can never know if the man is right or wrong to have rejected his daughter suitor. That is life

[quote author=Nyceguy92 post=46702310][/quote]thanks.

Life is not a bed of roses, and its about taking risks. There are times some risks you take pays off, and sometimes it doesn't. You just have to dust yourself and keep on moving.
She may marry the guy and live miserable or her risk may pay off, and she may marry her father's choice and be also miserable, or even happy.
However, one thing I've learnt about life is to always take responsibility for my actions/inactions. Its her life, and she should know that the decision is hers to make, not her father's.
She should also be ready to take responsibility for any choice she makes. It may pay off or not but she would have gained some experience about life.