Well, if it is DAT u av Neva cheated on her den let her go but if u av den u both shud confess and build what's left of ur Union...
But its really hard to 4give a cheating partner particularly wen one partner has bin faithful....
Reason, I don't fancy dis marriage if a thing.....

Chosen1984:
MY BROTHER OP I'LL GIVE THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.

WHATEVER IS BUILT ON A FAULTY FOUNDATION IS BOUND TO HAVE CHALLENGES!
GOING AHEAD TO HAVE KIDS WITH YOUR WIFE BEFORE MARRYING HER IS AN ACT OF TAKING GOD OFF YOUR MARRIAGE. ANYWAYS THE ACT HAS BEEN COMMITTED AND WHAT U NID NOW IS A SOLUTION!

DON'T DIVORCE HER: ITS WRONG BIBLICAL NO MATTER THE REASON. AND ALSO U MIGHT ENTER INTO A BIGGER MESS WITH THE NEXT PERSON.
WHAT SHE HAS DONE IS A MESS! BUT THE WAY OUT IS FOR YOU TO THROW YOURSELF COMPLETELY INTO GOD. ITS ONLY HIM THAT CAN HEAL YOUR WOUNDS. GET YOURSELF TO A HEAVEN CONSCIOUS CHURCH. THE NEW PEACE GOD WOULD GIVE YOU WOULD CAPTURE HER. AND BY HERSELF SHE WOULD TURN A NEW LEAF AND YOU WOULD BE A PROUD HUSBAND AGAIN. send me an email if you wish and lets talk more. ifeanyichukwueze@yahoo.com

OP don't do this,bad idea. You can always talk to a non-sentimental counsellor. I think she's cheating on you cos of your inability to satisfy her. She probably missed the good old days. We all make mistakes. Make time out of no time to work on yourself too, it's important, don't just exist for others.

Hmmm, that's gross misconduct. If Na me, Is a good bye. She doesn't even see anything wrong in having male friends..... Op, you suppose don see signs before you marry am. Anyways, think deep and free your heart this pain by confronting her. Talk all the way.

Cheating every where.
This is just d reason I want to maintain my singlet state

lumydee44:


OP don't do this,bad idea. You can always talk to a non-sentimental counsellor. I think she's cheating on you cos of your inability to satisfy her. She probably missed the good old days. We all make mistakes. Make time out of no time to work on yourself too, it's important, don't just exist for others.

You don't know what's cheating in marriage.

A cheating wife will one day kill her husband. Learn from the guys that have either been killed by thier wives or are behind bars no due to them killing thier wives because of infidelity. A word is enough for the wise

Wetin lumydee de talk!!

lumydee44:


OP don't do this,bad idea. You can always talk to a non-sentimental counsellor. I think she's cheating on you cos of your inability to satisfy her. She probably missed the good old days. We all make mistakes. Make time out of no time to work on yourself too, it's important, don't just exist for others.

I think you guys need to be more intimate and romantically involved.....

Go back to where you began, it really helps says a great counsellor. May the Lord see you through Amen

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

Hmm.

Today is fathers day so I will start by wishing you a happy fathers day.

Now on your matter, let me start by saying I am really sympathetic to your situation. Marriage isn't easy at all and hearing that you have been at it for 10 years and are considering divorce is really heavy to read. I have been at it for 3 years now and though the circumstances right now as we both live in two separate states due to work, we have always done our best to make things work.

I will not pass judgement here because time and life has thought me that even with both sides of a story, one can rarely ever get 100% accuracy on the truth because everyone has their own version of the truth from their perspective.

For the sake of your kids, I implore you to please exploit every possible means of conflict resolution before going for a divorce. I will recommend the age old tactics of having an honest, heartfelt, non-confrontational, emotional and intimate conversation with your wife. No third parties, no yelling, just the two of you in a quiet place, sitting down, holding hands (very important) and talking it out. Tell her how you feel, tell her what you did and what you noticed. Tell her how heartbroken you feel. Share your pains with her. Cry if you must. Leave nothing unsaid. Hear her out as well. Be genuine and honest with each other. Listen to one another. Be willing to genuinely listen to her and make changes where you honestly know she has valid complaints and issues with your attitude. I still maintain that the fact your spouse cheated should not be enough to break a marriage alone. Sometimes people do have moments of weakness. It may be something you have been doing subconciously that drove her into cheating. Maybe its something else. But its important that you both speak to each other. Communication is a vital and key part of every marriage. The moment it's broken, it's a slippery slope to divorce.

For the sake of your kids, remember the good times and see if you are both willing to work towards recapturing those times. 10years of marriage is too long to throw down the drain without a fight to salvage it. You both got married against all odds, I believe you both owe it to yourselves to prove everyone wrong and make it work. You must both be willing to forgive each other and genuinely work things out.

I hope you both make the best decision for yourselves and your kids.

But please don't let a fling destroy 10 years of marriage. If you both can work through this period and genuinely forgive each other and reconcile differences, You could both come out of this stronger and better than ever. Don't give up without a fight.

Teensway:
your moniker tells me more about you dear.

qnd u responded inline was th ur own moniker

loveisblind:
as in?

Your moniker answers everything bro

madcow1 has said my mind though..

If you live in a rented apartment, just arrange for another quick to first move out.

Gabbysky:


Babe, if the man cheats, divorce him too na. . So that the New Chic will take over...

Don't mind these small girls who are Internet feminists talking nonsense here. Society confers different privileges, responsibilities, expectations, and standards on males and females respectively, and that's the fact in the real world.

Imagine one's daughter coming back home to say that she's done with her marriage to her correct husband (nice guy who you know treats her well), simply because she caught him cheating. 95% of parents would scoff at her 'flimsy' excuse, scold her for her naivety, and chase her back to her husband's house. That's the fact. Same cannot be said for a cheating wife; she will attract scorn, contempt and disgrace. That's the fact. That's life and the way society is structured. It is ridiculous to overstretch this gender equality nonsense.

The question now is,have u ever cheated on her? If yes,she must have seen you doing the same thing.If no,you don't still have enough reason to divorce her.That is why they called it marriage, two imperfect people came together.It is now left for you as a man to have higher understanding and endurance. Sit her down and talk to her head she will change.Marrying another Girl,that new one may be worse compared to what u are passing through.Form the habit of checking her phone, it is one of my tactics. And let her have access to your phone.My wife picks my call regularly because I don't have any hidden agenda.Tanx.

sometimes we should listen to our parent cos what they see we can not even though sometimes they are wrong,now u cant go bk to them cos they will blame u,i feel for u

SonofDevil:

Just shut up..!!! What do u mean by praying when God is not involved in the marriage.
Listen parents re the Representative of God in life of a child if u don't have their blessing, just forget about the union.
sitting her down after 10 yrs marriage for counseling or what..?
I guess u re high on cow Dung.

Op u re the main cause of problem, it could have being Easy letting go when the two familiies stood against it.
Remember both of you never Had the blessings of ur parents.
Which means God is not involved , meaning such marriage is bound to fail.

You let love blind ur sense of reasoning, you need to Let go at this point in time,
A cheating wife is dangerous more than hyena, because a woman begat ur child doesn't mean she can't kill you.

If ur Biological mother is still alive,she will take care of the Kids,
There re so many kids that didn't live to see their mother yet they re successful..

If you want to live Long, and eat the fruit of ur Labour Run for ur Life.
Ur Wife doesn't Worth all this stress.

IGNORED

I cannot stand a cheating wife. I'd rather be single than live with one. I know it's hard but if I were in your shoes,she'd be gone. My love doesn't cover that and I do not care what anybody says or thinks. The last thing I wanna do,is to worry whether my wife is being banged somewhere...

I usually read comments here as a guest even though I have this account for some years now. This is not because the forum is not good enough, as a matter of fact, it is one of the most informative forum out there, but sincerely, I do not have enough time to contribute. However, I was touched when I read your story, and decided to login and make a contribution.

Loveisblind, I am sorry to say but if your wife is Youroba, please note that she will never change, she will continue cheating on you because is their way of life; mostly caused by the Youroba men who know a woman is married yet they try everything to get her laid. I know it is painful to leave the child in her custody, but I am afraid, that is what you need to do; otherwise, you will continue living in pains with no happiness and this can cause harm to your health and God forbid, your enemy might not be there for the child that you love so much. As painful as it is, you might want to consider divorcing her. From your story, you have sacrifice a lot to keep the marriage because of love I would imagine. Unfortunately, she don't feel the same about you and I will advice you move on.

infidelity:
The question now is,have u ever cheated on her? If yes,she must have seen you doing the same thing.If no,you don't still have enough reason to divorce her.That is why they called it marriage, two imperfect people came together.It is now left for you as a man to have higher understanding and endurance. Sit her down and talk to her head she will change.Marrying another Girl,that new one may be worse compared to what u are passing through.Form the habit of checking her phone, it is one of my tactics. And let her have access to your phone.My wife picks my call regularly because I don't have any hidden agenda.Tanx.

This your moniker though. Lol

why should your wife be bragging about cheating on you
i dont get it, maybe she want to go.

luminous1:



You don't know what's cheating in marriage.

I don't cos I'm not married but we all make mistakes, if it was the man that did it, there won't be much of a fuss about it

esejata:
I usually read comments here as a guest even though I have this account for some years now. This is not because the forum is not good enough, as a matter of fact, it is one of the most informative forum out there, but sincerely, I do not have enough time to contribute. However, I was touched when I read your story, and decided to login and make a contribution.

Loveisblind, I am sorry to say but if your wife is Youroba, please note that she will never change, she will continue cheating on you because is their way of life; mostly caused by the Youroba men who know a woman is married yet they try everything to get her laid. I know it is painful to leave the child in her custody, but I am afraid, that is what you need to do; otherwise, you will continue living in pains with no happiness and this can cause harm to your health and God forbid, your enemy might not be there for the child that you love so much. As painful as it is, you might want to consider divorcing her. From your story, you have sacrifice a lot to keep the marriage because of love I would imagine. Unfortunately, she don't feel the same about you and I will advice you move on.

And what if she isn't yoruba. You know you could actually pass your message across without sounding tribalistic.

Y marry a woman u dnt trust in d first place ... Going into marriage without trust nd love will yeild worse tins than cheating partners .. If ur wife is cheating on u , check ur relationship days .. U can't change a leopard by rubbg off is skin colour .. I ll keep my distance if she z cheating .. Period

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

Wat is all this na...

Una no get better romance gist to give us ni?

Na so so heart killing stories... Bak to bak to bak

Who be the mod wey dey do this kind thing sef...?

I don't just know what to say partly because I am not married yet.

I can't just imagine what you're going through now, another man getting your wife laid. I am trying to empathize....

Well, I will just say that you should find a commong ground.

Well from wat I have read,u havnt given any reasonable evidence for your accusation...

But if really she's cheating ...I think you shud kneel down and pray to God that she stops ...

U know,

Women are polygamous in nature ...

So just talk to Gad ...DAT is if she's even cheating .....
But one question ... So u have never cheated on her?

You are not patient enough,since you got the number,the clue is not enough with the evidence before you busted,you could have through investigation.noq she tell he just a male friends and nothing more... think of it if she doesn't feel remorse and ready to apologize,stand corrected leave her heaven will not fall..

Op, let me tell u something u propably don't know, there are so many women (married ones) who are sexually imprisoned by another guy. This is not because you didn't do ur duty or she doesn't love you, its even beyond her. I knew a lady who was about to wed and was having an affair with my friend. She's elderly so we call her anty. It all started when my friend was broke, he would go to her place to beg her for food, and anty nice, she will just say 'go to the kitchen and serve ur self'. so it was obvious she had no lustful intention. A day came, she returned from work and started complaining to the guy about stress, the guy offered a kinda massage, she accepted and that was it. The thing got so serious that the lady told the guy that his absence made her sick and his presence turned her on. My point exactly is that the lady loves her fiancee, that am sure of, cos she would cry sometimes after the s3x and call the guy's name ( her fiance) and ask for forgiveness. There was a time she send a text to my guy to stop coming to her place, but after 2 weeks she went to him herself.
She told him she would always come to him even after wedding. Now my point exactly is that ur wife surpossed friend made a statement 'if I catch u' , which to me is a language you use to when you are capable of handly a person in a unique way.

put thunderbolt for floor for her make she cross jare. Make that guy pay d wages of cheating with a married woman

Pls guys i need help... which android phone can i get between 25k downward... but i love Gionee phones though...

gabazin080:
wat has prayer got to do in this. as for me cheating is the only sin i cant forgive

I'm not sopporting the woman's action, but why do men always say this "cheating is the only sin I can't forgive" when they cheat everyday to the extent that people now believe that men are polygamous in nature. forgive me op