₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,280,631 members, 4,999,563 topics. Date: Tuesday, 25 June 2019 at 06:44 AM

My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) - Nairaland / General - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) (578 Views)

Share Your Worst Travelling/bus Experience!!! / Is This Lady A Fraud Or Does She Really Needs My Assistance / Funny PHCN Photos (share Your Experience With Them) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) by Austindumas1(m): 2:36pm On Jun 19, 2016
The Fat Lady
Hi! How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.
Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat into insignificance.
I cringed and reclined towards the window.
She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat, friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.
I turned away to stare out the bus window, sulking silently about the long hour of discomfort I was going to experience with her (from Enugu to afikpo)
She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Beatrice. I’m from anambra. How about you? Enugu?
"Ebonyi,” I barked.
“I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend an hour plus side-by-side on this bus, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent.
Beatrice started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to enugu to see her friends. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.
I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging, she bought gala and LA casera for both of us, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.
To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.
Beatrice was an interesting conversationali
st. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.
During our conversation, beatrice managed to make everyone in the bus to laugh with her warm jokes.
For the next few minutes, Beatrice listened attentively and gave pointers to everyone's opinion about her jokes.
I asked Beatrice, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”
“No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?”
“You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”
“Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long.”
She sipped at her wine. “Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.
Laura continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.” She held up her can of la casera and took a sip.

She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”
“Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.
“Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.
“Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”Beatrice paused before she said thoughtfully, “You know, the relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!”
Beatrice's enthralling conversation had turned the journey into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the journey, almost half the passengers were standing near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Beatrice. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too. Beatrice was the centre of attention, filling the everywhere with delightful warmth.
When we waved goodbye to each other we alighted, I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Beatrice. She turned around and winked at me.
I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Beatrice was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.

3 Likes

Re: My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) by henryvirus(m): 2:52pm On Jun 19, 2016
Wow........ I once had a similar experience too. And that made me try to infuse confidence in fat ladies i know who are shy and think low of themselves. And it is working out. The fat is just on the outside. The heart is large and wonderfully accomodative when you are confident.
Re: My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) by masks(m): 3:02pm On Jun 19, 2016
Austindumas1:
The Fat Lady
Hi! How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.
Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat into insignificance.
I cringed and reclined towards the window.
She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat, friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.
I turned away to stare out the bus window, sulking silently about the long hour of discomfort I was going to experience with her (from Enugu to afikpo)
She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Beatrice. I’m from anambra. How about you? Enugu?
"Ebonyi,” I barked.
“I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend an hour plus side-by-side on this bus, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent.
Beatrice started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to enugu to see her friends. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.
I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging, she bought gala and LA casera for both of us, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.
To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.
Beatrice was an interesting conversationali
st. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.
During our conversation, beatrice managed to make everyone in the bus to laugh with her warm jokes.
For the next few minutes, Beatrice listened attentively and gave pointers to everyone's opinion about her jokes.
I asked Beatrice, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”
“No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?”
“You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”
“Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long.”
She sipped at her wine. “Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.
Laura continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.” She held up her can of la casera and took a sip.

She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”
“Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.
“Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.
“Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”Beatrice paused before she said thoughtfully, “You know, the relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!”
Beatrice's enthralling conversation had turned the journey into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the journey, almost half the passengers were standing near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Beatrice. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too. Beatrice was the centre of attention, filling the everywhere with delightful warmth.
When we waved goodbye to each other we alighted, I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Beatrice. She turned around and winked at me.
I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Beatrice was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.
you better confess where you saw this story and stop deceiving people with copied content....
Re: My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) by Kingpinukecy(m): 3:25pm On Jun 19, 2016
bros r u sure beatrice is d most beautiful lady u av come across in ur life? If so, y did u struggle to keep ur eyes off frm her frm d start. U said u tried putting off ur head of d window but she couldnt allow u. Or is it b package she is carrying dat is making u to feel she is d most beautiful u av sin. Guy slime ladies look more cute dan fat once........ grin
Re: My Bus Experience With A Fat Lady (a Must Read) by Amyceilyn(f): 6:50pm On Jun 19, 2016
Kingpinukecy:
bros r u sure beatrice is d most beautiful lady u av come across in ur life? If so, y did u struggle to keep ur eyes off frm her frm d start. U said u tried putting off ur head of d window but she couldnt allow u. Or is it b package she is carrying dat is making u to feel she is d most beautiful u av sin. Guy slime ladies look more cute dan fat once........ grin
ok guy calm down, he doesn't mean outward beauty, he is talking about inner beauty.....being plus size myself i feel awfully comfortable in my body and i dön't know why but am always happy....we strive to lose weight not because people like you said so but because we want to live happier.

(1) (Reply)

Nigeria Communication Commission Gives Nigerians A Number To Call. / See Nigerian Dad's Response To Son's Half Nude Pic Posted On Facebook (photo) / 12 Tips On Building An Islamic Home

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2019 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 110
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.