Mindfulness:


You have never experienced genuine love and devotion since you discourage women from having their abdomen cut open and their babies cut out.
A loving, devoted woman would risk her life and even that of her kids to please her husband. You are just jealous of women who love genuinely.

You have to love your husband more than yourself and your dear life and even more than your children. Oga comes first! His pen.is second.

May you and I never experience THAT kind of true love.

Please go through the Pros and Cons of vaginal delivery and cesarean section and decide if it's worth the risk cos your husband insists on it cos he is worried about a tight pus.sy

Ok. I saw this post and decided to share my experience.

I so badly wanted a normal vaginal birth but i could not at the last minute. We couldn't feel the baby's heartbeat and they didn't wanna induce labor. I've only had one baby and had her through CS. It really shouldn't be a choice the way I see unless its necessary.

Speaking from experience, IT WAS HORRIBLE going through surgery.

I had to stay longer in the hospital cos I was bedridden. Although the nurses made sure I stand after an hour of surgery but I had to wait to start exercising and I still have this ugly scar under my belly.

Let me take you through my very experience (not that I wanna scare you)

1. I remember bathing with towel for the first two weeks while sitting down, as water must not come in contact with the stitches.

2. Not being able to bend, laugh much or push when in the loo (oh wait! It actually took like three days before I could have a bowel movement and between those days, I was on drip).

3. I had postpartum depression. Maybe cos the surgery wasn't planned but I really didn't get to bond with my baby on time and the injection given for contractions and all (so as to secrete milk et al).

4. I could recollect the doctor saying I'm lucky I healed on time that I was among the few that might just get my flat tummy back. Tummy still looking like I'm five months preggers after 6 months of delivery.

You should consult your doc for medical advise...

Wishing you safe delivery.

stylesco:



Stop being a bitter person.
I'm not the reason for your misery.

He's telling u the bitter truth. Don't risk ur life for ur husband cuz if u die he would remarry. A family friend died in her 5th cs....d husband was busy looking for a male child and ignoring that multipe cs is a risk...nw d man has married some1 else.
plss don't kill urself for a man.

Mindfulness:


The person who truly deserves my love would not ask such of me. I don't mingle with dum.bos. And the most beautiful feeling is the love I have for myself.

Besides this thread is full of overgrown kids. Millions of couples have fulfilling se.x lives even though their women have given birth to more than a child.

abeg tell dem......b4 dey GI and be catching grenade for love.
Nonsense

Mindfulness:


Whether for personal reasons or because the husband asked for it, if it is unnecssary, it is stewpid. Please take your devotion / submission issues elsewhere. This topic is too serious to turn it into a gender battle. The mother's health and child's well-being is what it should be about, not your issues with women.

Like you care about the OP's health or that of her unborm child...

Isn't she the same person you've called weak, ignorant, insane, and not fit to be a mother?

Who is fooling who...

Mindfulness:


I was talking about necessary and unnecessary and he used the words want and need and you come and say that I have not been able to offer an answer when I basically said the same but when I say that you act stewpid, you think that I need forgiveness.

Mumu girl, didn't you read the part where I told him I was looking out for a risk-based comparison?

Have you yet offered that?

shaybebaby:

Imma answer this one.
When it is done for medical reasons, it is the less risky option compared to a natural birth eg preeclampsia in pregnancy, baby is too big to pass through the vaginal passage and hence could get stuck/ does get stuck, baby is in distress, weakening heartbeat, not enough oxygen which could lead to brain damage.
In cases like this, it is the lesser evil, anything else would result in almost certain death of mother and child.

Elective Caesarian is NOT a matter of life and death. It is a preemptive choice so we have no way of ascertaining whether it would have been the less risky option or more. The procedure was developed to save lives first. Preserving the kitten should be an after thought.

Indeed you have written without the emotional turmoil Mindfulness types with, which is only what I wanted her to do.

Now that you finally contrasted the risks for Mindfulness, in the sense that elective CS is not a matter of life and death...do you know what elective CS is?

Wait, are you ready for it?
Mindfulness, where are you? Are you also ready for it?

Okay, here it is..
Elective CS is a matter of CHOICE

Now that we can all agree to that, what exactly has been the problem you women had with the OP in the first place?
Na una belle dem wan cut, abi na una husband ask una to do CS because of tight kitty?

Why the attack on her husband or on her?
Will she be the first woman to undergo elective Cesarean Section for whatever reason she or her husband saw fit?

God bless you. Natural birth pain reduced immediately after birth but for Cs mba nu,the pain is just beginning immediately you're conscious of your environment. Cs is a necessity when life is at stack,never should it be willingly, all because of Tight vagina.
Even though both has its complications but i rather go for vaginal birth.

Jamean:


Really!

Weytin we no go hear. I don't think you've been around someone that had CS. The pain is terrible, you can't bend, can't sit upright, can't just eat anything, can't massage the stomach and even taking bath is worse because of the stitches.

Please don't come and mislead people o. For natural birth once baby is out the pain is greatly reduced, except you had a tear that was stitched.

Mindfulness:



But Crackhaus thinks that brainless devotion is more importnat than the health of a wife, mother and children.

Nah... you still haven't realligned your head and focused, just like everyone else who might see me as the antagonist here.

The woman in the OP has a devotion to her husband, one which makes her willing to opt for a CS procedure...Crackhaus only just recognized it and defended her for it, which it seems that I alone has been able to achieve here - that is what makes me different, a genius with an unconventional point of view, a rebel not afraid to swim against the tide.

None of you are able to recognize her devotion to her husband for what it is - it is raw, unfiltered, and blameless. None of you are seeing beyond 'a man/husband' who asked his wife to undergo a CS procedure because you've been blinded by prejudice, how dare he?
Dear friend, let's not pretend.
You, like the majority, just don't understand that kind of devotion and willingness, you probably never will...but I did, and that's what I argued for on account of my ingenuity. It wasn't an argument for my own choices/preferences or what I would/would not do. FOCUS!

My job here is done, I only sought to shed the thin veil covering your eyes...the veil of prejudice, which blinds y'all from understanding why the woman herself would want to go through with it.

I'm like Albert Einstein... if he were black, Nigerian, and exceptionally good looking.

Mindfulness:


He knows it! He just pretends that he doesn't because he wants to turn this thread into something else. If he was one of the stewpid posters on this thread, I would understad that he needs plenty of explanations but he is too smart not to know it.

Is this how you acknowledge a genius? With back-handed compliments?

Just say this out loud,
Crackhaus, you are smart.

I didn't hear you, say it again...louder, louder..

crackhaus:

Indeed you have written without the emotional turmoil Mindfulness types with, which is only what I wanted her to do.

Now that you finally contrasted the risks for Mindfulness, in the sense that elective CS is not a matter of life and death...do you know what elective CS is?

Wait, are you ready for it?
Mindfulness, where are you? Are you also ready for it?

Okay, here it is..
Elective CS is a matter of CHOICE

Now that we can all agree to that, what exactly has been the problem you women had with the OP in the first place?
Na una belle dem wan cut, abi na una husband ask una to do CS because of tight kitty?

Why the attack on her husband or on her?
Will she be the first woman to undergo elective Cesarean Section for whatever reason she or her husband saw fit?

If it is a choice she makes without undue influence, and decided herself that it is what she wants, I'd advise her against it. But that's all it is, advise which she can discard or heed. Her body, her life, her choice.
The issue here is that it is wrong for her husband to demand such. It shows that he is not considering her feelings, her life, health or the health of the baby. If he cared, he would not put her in such a position for reasons which are wholly selfish in this instance.
If SHE felt it was necessary, it's okay because she bears any negative consequences herself and has decided she is okay with the worst case scenario.
It's like drug lords who get mules to traffic drugs, you do it successfully you get paid. If it fails, YOU get jailed or die. They get all of the rewards and none of the risk.
And if you die, they find another replacement for you.
Anyone's making such a decision because someone else demands it needs to evaluate their self worth.
I have a large nose and I have always wanted a nose job(which is an elective surgery) since I was 6. My partner threatens to leave me if I go ahead because he feels the risk of it going wrong is not worth result and that he loves it just as it is. That shows he loves the person and not the package.
However despite my desire, the day my man suggests that I have a surgery because he wanna something about me changed or preserved is the day I know relationship is over. You simply should not ask of others you say you care about, something which may be of detriment to them to satisfy your selfish needs.

To answer your question, the premise of such a decision is faulty, for the husband to demand it and for her to consider based on her husband demanding it. It goes beyond just having a C-section and says a lot about the dynamics of the relationship. Non Buono!

crackhaus:


Nah... you still haven't realligned your head and focused, just like everyone else who might see me as the antagonist here.

The woman in the OP has a devotion to her husband, one which makes her willing to opt for a CS procedure...Crackhaus only just recognized it and defended her for it, which it seems that I alone has been able to achieve here - that is what makes me different, a genius with an unconventional point of view, a rebel not afraid to swim against the tide.

None of you are able to recognize her devotion to her husband for what it is - it is raw, unfiltered, and blameless. None of you are seeing beyond 'a man/husband' who asked his wife to undergo a CS procedure because you've been blinded by prejudice, how dare he?
Dear friend, let's not pretend.
You, like the majority, just don't understand that kind of devotion and willingness, you probably never will...but I did, and that's what I argued for on account of my ingenuity. It wasn't an argument for my own choices/preferences or what I would/would not do. FOCUS!

My job here is done, I only sought to shed the thin veil covering your eyes...the veil of prejudice, which blinds y'all from understanding why the woman herself would want to go through with it.

I'm like Albert Einstein... if he were black, Nigerian, and exceptionally good looking.

If said devotion was reciprocal, there would be no issues here. They both decide and hopefully be blessed with a healthy child.
But it isn't is it? Risk your life=tight punny for my enjoyment. Who would ask that of the subject of their devotion?

crackhaus:



Is this how you acknowledge a genius? With back-handed compliments?

Just say this out loud,
Crackhaus, you are smart.

I didn't hear you, say it again...louder, louder..

You are smart and I have acknowledged it several times but I don't see anything smart about your contributions on this thread.

I am done here.

Shaybebaby has said it all.

PEACE.

shaybebaby:

If it is a choice she makes without undue influence, and decided herself that it is what she wants, I'd advise her against it. But that's all it is, advise which she can discard or heed. Her body, her life, her choice.
The issue here is that it is wrong for her husband to demand such. It shows that he is not considering her feelings, her life, health or the health of the baby. If he cared, he would not put her in such a position for reasons which are wholly selfish in this instance.
If SHE felt it was necessary, it's okay because she bears any negative consequences herself and has decided she is okay with the worst case scenario.
It's like drug lords who get mules to traffic drugs, you do it successfully you get paid. If it fails, YOU get jailed or die. They get all of the rewards and none of the risk.
And if you die, they find another replacement for you.
Anyone's making such a decision because someone else demands it needs to evaluate their self worth.
I have a large nose and I have always wanted a nose job(which is an elective surgery) since I was 6. My partner threatens to leave me if I go ahead because he feels the risk of it going wrong is not worth result and that he loves it just as it is. That shows he loves the person and not the package.
However despite my desire, the day my man suggests that I have a surgery because he wanna something about me changed or preserved is the day I know relationship is over. You simply should not ask of others you say you care about, something which may be of detriment to them to satisfy your selfish needs.

This is part of a reply I gave to another poster on page(2):

crackhaus:

But isn't that just it?

She alone is the one that gets to decide if it's worth the trouble of doing as her husband wishes.
Not like I'm holding brief for the man as I believe it isn't his place to 'force' it (mutual agreement supercedes here), but trying to discourage her on the 'worthiness' or 'her husband's presumed cheating tendencies' is kind of besides the point.

As you can see, we were already past what the man can insist or what he cannot, before Mindful came and started talking about risks and whatnots - all invasive surgeries will always have risks whether it is necessary or unnecessary.
Women are doing invasive plastic surgery to please their spouses and themselves, no one is preaching to them about it being unnecessary.



Her husband's love and consideration is not something you, I, or anyone else can be objective on.

crackhaus:

This is part of a reply I gave to another poster on page(2):



As you can see, we were already past what the man can insist or what he cannot, before Mindful came and started talking about risks and whatnots - all invasive surgeries will always have risks whether it is necessary or unnecessary.
Women are doing invasive plastic surgery to please their spouses and themselves, no one is preaching to them about it being unnecessary.



Her husband's love and consideration is not something you, I, or anyone else can be objective on.

How can we not? Love isn't self serving.

Mindfulness:


You are smart and I have acknowledged it several times but I don't see anything smart about your contributions on this thread.

I am done here.

Shaybebaby has said it all.

PEACE.

You dont like my stance young woman, that's your issue - it isn't a matter of smart or dumb. If I were here agreeing with you all, it would be very smart.

I understood the OP, you say she's weak with low self-esteem and not fit to be a mother - which of us do you think made the 'smart' judgement?

PEACE to you too..

Planning to start my own family in the near future. This will be helpful one day.

MarryMeee:
Planning to start my own family in the near future. This will be helpful one day.

Which parts?

shaybebaby:

If said devotion was reciprocal, there would be no issues here. They both decide and hopefully be blessed with a healthy child.
But it isn't is it? Risk your life=tight punny for my enjoyment. Who would ask that of the subject of their devotion?

How are you able to conclude the man isn't devoted to his wife? This is what I meant when I said his love is not something you or I can be objective on.

Unless you're of the opinion that the man is deliberately sending his wife to her death.


Anyway, let's be done with this.
It's been fun while it lasted.

shaybebaby:
To answer your question, the premise of such a decision is faulty, for the husband to demand it and for her to consider based on her husband demanding it. It goes beyond just having a C-section and says a lot about the dynamics of the relationship. Non Buono!

Yea, he most probably is a control freak who will go into the operating room just to make sure the attending surgeon performs a Cesarean Section if his wife refuses to agree with him.

shaybebaby:

Which parts?

Vaginal birth part. I just hope i won't have a baby too big for my Hooha to handle

MarryMeee:
Vaginal birth part. I just hope i won't have a baby too big for my Hooha to handle

Not as scary as it seems. Try watching this programme "One born every minute". Don't know where you live but its in the uk so you'll find clips on youtube if you are outside. It follows people who are parents to be, different birth plans etc But most importantly, you get to see before, during and after...and if you are anything like me, you'll be bawling your eyes at the sheer joy people feel when their babies are born safely, which is what we all want innit?
Focus on the prize, and you'll be prepared to do whatever it takes to get there.

shaybebaby:


Not as scary as it seems. Try watching this programme "One born every minute". Don't know where you live but its in the uk so you'll find clips on youtube if you are outside. It follows people who are parents to be, different birth plans etc But most importantly, you get to see before, during and after...and if you are anything like me, you'll be bawling your eyes at the sheer joy people feel when their babies are born safely, which is what we all want innit?
Focus on the prize, and you'll be prepared to do whatever it takes to get there.

i do watch it. Well I usually look forward to watching the most awkward couple out of the 3 give birth

MarryMeee:
i do watch it. Well I usually look forward to watching the most awkward couple out of the 3 give birth

aha! So relax, if you can sit through it and watch them, you can do this. Lots of sex prior to your delivery will help keep that place flexible. Also, start doing your pelvic floor exercises if you haven't start so that you can push more effectively.

CAUTION: you will poo yourself..just thought I'd mention it because no one else has admitted to it

shaybebaby:

aha! So relax, if you can sit through it and watch them, you can do this. Lots of sex prior to your delivery will help keep that place flexible. Also, start doing your pelvic floor exercises if you haven't start so that you can push more effectively.

CAUTION: you will poo yourself..just thought I'd mention it because no one else has admitted to it

thats fine it happened to my sister

shaybebaby:

aha! So relax, if you can sit through it and watch them, you can do this. Lots of sex prior to your delivery will help keep that place flexible. Also, start doing your pelvic floor exercises if you haven't start so that you can push more effectively.

CAUTION: you will poo yourself..just thought I'd mention it because no one else has admitted to it

I don't know about other hospitals but mine had that policy of no food some hrs before ( I don't remember how many hrs to be exact). And they encourage you to try empty your bowels before active labor.

Because you will not only poo yourself, you'll throw up everywhere. Thank goodness I listened.

I kept throwing up continuously. Like every other hour for more than one full day. I was just throwing up.
If I had food in me, it would have been very nasty because I was vomitting uncontrollably. all I had in me was ice chips and water.

I learned some hospitals still give enema to make the women poop first so that they don't poop all over themselves during labor.

cococandy:

I don't know about other hospitals but mine had that policy of no food some hrs before ( I don't remember how many hrs to be exact). And they encourage you to try empty your bowels before active labor.

Because you will not only poo yourself, you'll throw up everywhere. Thank goodness I listened.

I kept throwing up continuously. Like every other hour for more than one full day. I was just throwing up.
If I had food in me, it would have been very nasty because I was vomitting uncontrollably. all I had in me was ice chips and water.

I learned some hospitals still give enema to make the women poop first so that they don't poop all over themselves during labor.

Sometimes(most times actually) the labour is spontaneous and the woman would have taken food so it can't be helped.You can only encourage the women to empty their bowels if they can.
When labour is active however,some women who think they want to poo are actually feeling the pressure of the baby coming without knowing and you have to discourage them from straining so they don't push when it's not yet time and end up with bad tears or other issues.
Quite a number of women poo and you just take it as part of the process.
The cleaners will do their job@bolded.

You're right.
I guess they are able do that here because they were monitoring us very closely. They'd advice us to come in and get checked for dilation as early as one week to the due date and every other day subsequently . Plus mine was scheduled anyway so I had control over that.

I think the no food rule is mostly for the vomitting part. Because Labor takes a while. If you ate like during early labor, the food would no longer be in your stomach during active labor so you can't throw it up. But you can poop

Does your hospitals still give enemas?

thorpido:
Sometimes(most times actually) the labour is spontaneous and the woman would have taken food so it can't be helped.You can only encourage the women to empty their bowels if they can.
When labour is active however,some women who think they want to poo are actually feeling the pressure of the baby coming without knowing and you have to discourage them from straining so they don't push when it's not yet time and end up with bad tears or other issues.
Quite a number of women poo and you just take it as part of the process.
The cleaners will do their job@bolded.

cococandy:
You're right.
I guess they are able do that here because they were monitoring us very closely. They'd advice us to come in and get checked for dilation as early as one week to the due date and every other day subsequently . Plus mine was scheduled anyway so I had control over that.

I think the no food rule is mostly for the vomitting part. Because Labor takes a while. If you ate like during early labor, the food would no longer be in your stomach during active labor so you can't throw it up. But you can poop

Does your hospitals still give enemas?

Whao,you guys really have a good structure over there to schedule appointments every day from like a week to due date.In Naija,most people only present in the hospital if they've seen 'water' or they are having mild contractions so you can't really control their food intake.

Enemas are hardly given here.

That's the point, your own free will to do such cosmetic surgery. Knife slicing through you due to hubby's demand...i shudder at the thought.

shaybebaby:

If it is a choice she makes without undue influence, and decided herself that it is what she wants, I'd advise her against it. But that's all it is, advise which she can discard or heed. Her body, her life, her choice.
The issue here is that it is wrong for her husband to demand such. It shows that he is not considering her feelings, her life, health or the health of the baby. If he cared, he would not put her in such a position for reasons which are wholly selfish in this instance.
If SHE felt it was necessary, it's okay because she bears any negative consequences herself and has decided she is okay with the worst case scenario.
It's like drug lords who get mules to traffic drugs, you do it successfully you get paid. If it fails, YOU get jailed or die. They get all of the rewards and none of the risk.
And if you die, they find another replacement for you.
Anyone's making such a decision because someone else demands it needs to evaluate their self worth.
I have a large nose and I have always wanted a nose job(which is an elective surgery) since I was 6. My partner threatens to leave me if I go ahead because he feels the risk of it going wrong is not worth result and that he loves it just as it is. That shows he loves the person and not the package.
However despite my desire, the day my man suggests that I have a surgery because he wanna something about me changed or preserved is the day I know relationship is over. You simply should not ask of others you say you care about, something which may be of detriment to them to satisfy your selfish needs.

Well done.