Hi all
I don't even know where to begin but my family particularly my parents are bringing me into their issues.

Ever since I was young my mom used to tell me bad stuff about my dads family and even about him. She used to complain a lot about many things and problems and that used to stress me a lot. I realised when I grew older that it was actually wrong of her to say all those stuff about my dad and also to burden me at such a young age with all the issues (like she once told me how my dad had an affair and used to drop me and my siblings off when we were younger at a friends place so that he could be with his girlfriends).

I never saw his family in a good light because of my mom and even though there was some truth to what she said about them I just feel like I didn't have to know all that at such a young age.

Now as I grew older my dad also started to complain about my mom. He even told me today if someone asked him if he would still be married to my mom in 3years time he said he can't give them an answer.

I will admit that my mom cannot manage and spend money well. She is constantly asking for money on a daily basis and uses it for unnecessary stuff. Both have their bad side. If I am totally honest with myself I feel that they are not compatible.

Because of their marriage I myself don't think I ever want to get married. What i learnt from their marriage is that a woman needs to be independent and make her own money instead of constantly asking from the man, because truth be told if my dad leaves her tomorrow she wont be able to survive without him. An educated person should be with an educated person so both will be able to reason together in a logical way.
I am honestly sick and tired of hearing almost on a daily basis about my parents issues with each other. What can or should I do to make them stop because I tried to tell my mom few years back that I dont want to constantly hear this stuff but she still does not listen and now my dad has started too. Its emotionally draining

How old are u?

donbenedict:
How old are u?

old enough

depressedgurl:
old enough

so waht the fvck are u stil doing in their house9

depressedgurl:
old enough

ahbi?

All your posts are full of complaints and bitterness. Can you just say or post something positive?

donbenedict:
so waht the fvck are u stil doing in their house9

Firstly even when I was not at home they still used to call me and complain. Unfortunately to cut a long story short am not at home by choice. I don't have a job anymore so currently finishing off my studies while living at home since beginning of June

eph12:
All your posts are full of complaints and bitterness. Can you just say or post something positive?

I posted for advice. If you don't have advice to give then simply ignore my thread

depressedgurl:


Firstly even when I was not at home they still used to call me and complain. Unfortunately to cut a long story short am not at home by choice. I don't have a job anymore so currently finishing off my studies while living at home since beginning of June

u should know that marriage isn't a bed of roses.

depressedgurl:


I posted for advice. If you don't have advice to give then simply ignore my thread

Since you say you're old enough then you should be used to their behaviours by now know how to shut them out when they are misbehaving.

I have experienced similar thing when parents want to bring you into their marital problems. It can be very stressfull as you don't want to take sides. I would have suggested that you move away from home, but since you are unemployed than you will just have to hang in there till you can leave. If you have any siblings preferably older than you than maybe you could speak to them and they could speak to your parents about this

We are currently in the same shoes although in my case both parents are working class. I took a decision to ignore and I do let each of them know their faults as well. I am presently living alone but my mum still calls to indulge in their issues.
OP, I would advise that you ignore them. You have your own life to live. They are currently living theirs.

Op, urs is better. U don't want 2 read mine. Nywys, i'll ony advice u learn 4rm deir mistakes. It is well!

Kingsasian:
We are currently in the same shoes although in my case both parents are working class. I took a decision to ignore and I do let each of them know their faults as well. I am presently living alone but my mum still calls to indulge in their issues.
OP, I would advise that you ignore them. You have your own life to live. They are currently living theirs.

At least you were able to say your mind. When I told my mom I didn't want to hear it anymore she took it badly and became upset then told me am just like my dad. I know my dad would take it as me being disrespectful if I tell him I don't want to hear it. I already have so much stress and my own problems but they just can't leave me out of theirs.

dahmie2013:
Op, urs is better. U don't want 2 read mine. Nywys, i'll ony advice u learn 4rm deir mistakes. It is well!

Thanks dear. Are your parents still bombarding you with their issues

depressedgurl:


At least you were able to say your mind. When I told my mom I didn't want to hear it anymore she took it badly and became upset then told me am just like my dad. I know my dad would take it as me being disrespectful if I tell him I don't want to hear it. I already have so much stress and my own problems but they just can't leave me out of theirs.

yea, I was able to say my mind but not without receiving some hurtful words from both of them. The truth is that there is nothing you can do about it other than to ignore because you have your own problems to tackle and that is what I am currently doing. When ever they call I just listen to them without saying anything in return and believe me the calls have reduced. Now, two months ago I had to travel home to pay them a visit. Immediate I got home, my mum started her usual complaints about my dad and the various fights they had in my absence but she stopped when she noticed I wasn't listening to her. The following morning my dad brought up his own tales and I had to tell him that I have my own life to live and that I only came home to have some rest. You don't have to take sides. Don't let them disturb you.