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Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? - Family - Nairaland

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Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by ShaqFu: 10:25pm On Jul 13, 2016
So, I was hanging with a friend sometime ago, and he made mention of how marriage has become an avenue for women to escape poverty.

He also gave me instances, as to how most of the women he knows, use marriage as a way or means, to escape the harsh clutches of poverty.

Frankly, looking at it from his point of view, most women (if not all) don't really need to put up anything when getting married, as most of what is needed, is provided by the men.

For instance, a broke guy who wants to get married will easily be shooed and told he's not serious, if he says he wants to get married, while on the other hand, a broke woman, who have nothing but the clothes she put on, doesn't need to have the world, if she wants to get married, all she needs is a willing man to ask her "will you marry me" then she's home free.

Then again, how many times have we often heard some women, say "they can't marry or even date a broke guy", as many of them are on the hunt for rich or well to do men.

So, I ask your opinion(s), do you honestly believe marriage is now a means used by most nigerian women, to escape poverty?

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by hemartins(m): 10:42pm On Jul 13, 2016
You can marry a rich guy and still remain poor.
Success is not contagious.

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by ShaqFu: 11:23pm On Jul 13, 2016
hemartins:
You can marry a rich guy and still remain poor.
Success is not contagious.
How? Obviously, if a woman marries a man who is rich, even if she's poor, by virtue of her marrying that man, her poverty level will reduce, it can't stay the same, can it?.

1 Like

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by PresVA: 9:35am On Jul 14, 2016
So are you saying most Nigerian men are rich?
And most Nigerian women poor prior to marriage? Smh

4 Likes

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by ShaqFu: 10:09am On Jul 14, 2016
PresVA:
So are you saying most Nigerian men are rich?
And most Nigerian women poor prior to marriage? Smh
Nope. I'm say sometimes, a woman marries a man who is financially buoyant than her, or so.
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Acidosis(m): 10:21am On Jul 14, 2016
Your writeup is correct especially the part where a lady with only 1 shoe and bag can get married, whereas, a man with such would be mocked for mentioning marriage.

However, I think the title of the thread is wrong; not all single & ready-to-marry ladies are broke. Some of them are so rich now their wealth scare men away.
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by ShaqFu: 10:27am On Jul 14, 2016
Acidosis:
Your writeup is correct especially the part where a lady with only 1 shoe and bag can get married, whereas, a man with such would be mocked for mentioning marriage.

However, I think the title of the thread is wrong; not all single & ready-to-marry ladies are broke. Some of them are so rich now their wealth scare men away.
Well I never said 'women are broke' the content of the thread made that clear, don't you think so?.
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Acidosis(m): 10:29am On Jul 14, 2016
ShaqFu:
Well I never said 'women are broke' the content of the thread made that clear, don't you think so?.
Oh true, noted.

1 Like

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by bukatyne(f): 12:50am On Dec 28, 2017
ShaqFu:
How? Obviously, if a woman marries a man who is rich, even if she's poor, by virtue of her marrying that man, her poverty level will reduce, it can't stay the same, can it?.

What is the role of a husband?
What is the role of a wife?
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Juliearth(f): 5:36am On Dec 28, 2017
[quote author=ShaqFu post=47514728][/quote]


Shallow thinking. Gone are those days. I have seen women who cater for their family(including that of the husband).

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Juliearth(f): 5:38am On Dec 28, 2017
ShaqFu:
How? Obviously, if a woman marries a man who is rich, even if she's poor, by virtue of her marrying that man, her poverty level will reduce, it can't stay the same, can it?.

You should go out more often and have a feel of life
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Juliearth(f): 5:41am On Dec 28, 2017
ShaqFu:
Nope. I'm say sometimes, a woman marries a man who is financially buoyant than her, or so.

Just admit that your assertion is shallow, one-sided and therefore, baseless. I dont know how things are been run around you, but over here, women are hardly redundant.

1 Like

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Richy4(m): 6:24am On Dec 28, 2017
Juliearth:



Shallow thinking. Gone are those days. I have seen women who cater for their family(including that of the husband).

Based on my little knowledge of English language , the key word based on what the OP was saying was " MOST" women...

I don't think He/She was disputing the fact that there are no women out there who were the bread winner of their homes..maybe u should check the headline again

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Moboj: 8:46am On Dec 28, 2017
Story story grin Biko dash your sister to a poor man

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Evacroft: 9:32am On Dec 28, 2017
Because women are not coming out to tell u they are the bread winner,just because of what society will say doesnt mean they are not.
There are lotta men who got pushed up by there women ,dont be fooled into believing women are baggages in marriage.
P.s- the real reason women get married isnt for financial gain .

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Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Juliearth(f): 11:20am On Dec 28, 2017
Richy4:


Based on my little knowledge of English language , the key word based on what the OP was saying was " MOST" women...

I don't think He/She was disputing the fact that there are no women out there who were the bread winner of their homes..maybe u should check the headline again


Using the word "most" is unfair. using "some" have been better
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Richy4(m): 3:57pm On Dec 28, 2017
Juliearth:



Using the word "most" is unfair. using "some" have been better

Maybe you are right.. But I 'm glad you realize that he/she was not referring to every woman.. You should have asked where he got his statistics from and probably argue your case so that he can reduce it to a bare-minimum..
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by enabledgoddess(f): 6:13pm On Dec 28, 2017
there are women and there are girls. real women won't walk down the aisle until they have want they are bringing tothe table. Nigerian women of today are doing a lot to help their husbands but they tell no one to avoid criticism. poor girls who embarked on marital journey without having their own quota are the ones who a man is quick to throw out, replaced and abused. truth is, every woman desires a man who is a provider irrespective of whether she has her own or not. been able to provide is the basis of a woman's respect towards her husband
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by eyinjuege: 7:47pm On Dec 28, 2017
Thats not true.
How many young men have money?
The Nigerian girls we talk about also come out of the same homes as these young men in question. Most Nigerian families have at least 2 children (and i'm being conservative). So the poverty ridden parents of these young ladies are the same parents to these young men marrying them.
Infact, i believe most ladies marry men who are poorer than their fathers. At least most of the fathers have had time to make a little money for themselves.
Also, the children of the rich also marry everyday, middle class also marry daily. They don't always marry from their social class.
Ladies making their own money also marry daily. So how is the marriage alleviating the poverty?
The men have an advantage as most go for younger ladies. They have had more time to create their own path in life, and usually marry ladies that are just graduating from school ( I'll be using educated ladies as example). The ladies have to fine tune their life towards that of the man, if husbands are based in lokoja, the new bride who has just finished serving will not chase that job opportunity in Abuja.
For couples married to their age mates/course mates (there are loads of them around), there's a level playing field and some/ a lot of the women even earn more.
Its a natural need of humans to want to build a family. In Nigeria, its worse as society expects you to do the needful immediately you graduate from school or even marry in school as a woman.
As a man, you go for a woman you graduated 5-10
years ahead of her and you propose for whatever reason as soon as you see she's graduating from the school. You then have the effontery to call her parents paupers. Why couldn't you wait for her to find her foot as you were able to years after graduating? Or better still, why couldn't you go for the women closer to your age group who also graduated same time you did?

8 Likes

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Juliearth(f): 8:18pm On Dec 28, 2017
Richy4:


Maybe you are right.. But I 'm glad you realize that he/she was not referring to every woman.. You should have asked where he got his statistics from and probably argue your case so that he can reduce it to a bare-minimum..


Touchè!
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by TemmyWon(f): 11:35am On Dec 29, 2017
Uhhhhn... Not in all cases. One of my friends mum is still poor though her husband is rich. That man did a number on my ego. I work like a man and my attitude is aggressive. She's put the woman through a lot that she's now hypertensive.
Marrying a man for money is still a bad move

1 Like

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by orangb: 6:12pm On Dec 29, 2017
I can also say that we have so many irresponsible Nigerian men now who dump their responsibilities on their wife's shoulders.

They also see marriage as a poverty alleviation scheme since they look for women from rich homes/ self dependent hustlers whom they know can take care of the kids singlehandedly.

4 Likes

Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by cococandy(f): 6:37pm On Dec 29, 2017
This
eyinjuege:
Thats not true.
How many young men have money?
The Nigerian girls we talk about also come out of the same homes as these young men in question. Most Nigerian families have at least 2 children (and i'm being conservative). So the poverty ridden parents of these young ladies are the same parents to these young men marrying them.
Infact, i believe most ladies marry men who are poorer than their fathers. At least most of the fathers have had time to make a little money for themselves.
Also, the children of the rich also marry everyday, middle class also marry daily. They don't always marry from their social class.
Ladies making their own money also marry daily. So how is the marriage alleviating the poverty?
The men have an advantage as most go for younger ladies. They have had more time to create their own path in life, and usually marry ladies that are just graduating from school ( I'll be using educated ladies as example). The ladies have to fine tune their life towards that of the man, if husbands are based in lokoja, the new bride who has just finished serving will not chase that job opportunity in Abuja.
For couples married to their age mates/course mates (there are loads of them around), there's a level playing field and some/ a lot of the women even earn more.
Its a natural need of humans to want to build a family. In Nigeria, its worse as society expects you to do the needful immediately you graduate from school or even marry in school as a woman.
As a man, you go for a woman you graduated 5-10
years ahead of her and you propose for whatever reason as soon as you see she's graduating from the school. You then have the effontery to call her parents paupers. Why couldn't you wait for her to find her foot as you were able to years after graduating? Or better still, why couldn't you go for the women closer to your age group who also graduated same time you did?
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 7:20pm On Dec 29, 2017
Juliearth:



Shallow thinking. Gone are those days. I have seen women who cater for their family(including that of the husband).
Abeg help me tell am well.
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by EfemenaXY: 9:59pm On Dec 29, 2017
eyinjuege:

Its a natural need of humans to want to build a family. In Nigeria, its worse as society expects you to do the needful immediately you graduate from school or even marry in school as a woman.
As a man, you go for a woman you graduated 5-10
years ahead of her and you propose for whatever reason as soon as you see she's graduating from the school. You then have the effontery to call her parents paupers. Why couldn't you wait for her to find her foot as you were able to years after graduating? Or better still, why couldn't you go for the women closer to your age group who also graduated same time you did?

@op kindly respond to these points.

This should be interesting.
Re: Marriage: A Way For Most Nigerian Women To Escape Poverty? by ShaqFu: 2:41pm On Dec 31, 2017
Juliearth:


You should go out more often and have a feel of life
Hmmm.

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